Six stone Two, 86.2lbs.

These pro ana websites were amazing. They helped me get to the weight I wanted and carry on dropping on the scales. However, I was still fat. I was still disgusting, nauseating and vulgar. I hated myself. All of the words my father said, friends said and even people I didn't know were circling round in my head and wouldn't stop. 'Don't eat that, you're too fat to eat' and 'Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels' I had gotten to the point where I couldn't stop. Everything revolved around food. Some days I'd eat something with as little as 25 calories and I could feel the weight of it in my stomach, that was when I knew I had to purge. Some days I'd eat nothing and my mum would worry, but she would never ask me why.

"Lauren?" she shouted whilst letting herself into my room.

I quickly shut my laptop as she walked in.

"What are you looking at on there that you're so eager for me not to see, hey?" she laughed. "Your dinner is on the table!"

I walked out of my room and immediately regretted not getting off that website. I should've closed it down as soon as I heard her scream my name.

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-Mum's POV-

What was she on? Why was she so eager to not let me see what she was looking at? I wouldn't be a bad mum if I was to look would I?

I opened up the screen of her laptop to a nauseating site of a website open called 'Thin Intentions' there were 58 tips on how to be Pro-Ana, I had no idea what this meant. There was tabs on the right side one called 'thinspiration' what my eyes seen was devastating. This so called beautiful society is twisted and crooked - a labyrinth of hunger and despair. It's a far cry from perfect. Why was my Lauren looking at this? What is wrong with her? How could I have not noticed this, the not eating, saying she's not hungry, constant illness. Why is she doing this to me after everything. She's so beautiful, she leads such a precious life, she doesn't need to be doing this to herself.

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"Lauren what is this on your laptop?" she called whilst storming down the stairs.

"What are you on my laptop for? Don't you trust me or something?" I said sarcastically.

"Yes I do but when you're looking at stuff like this what else am I meant to think?"

"Well actually it was for homework, mum." I stuttered.

"I'll be ringing that school tomorrow to ask about this, it's vulgar, Lauren."

She couldn't ring the school, they'd know I didn't get it for homework. I felt sick, properly. For once in my life I felt like I could be sick without forcing myself. I couldn't help myself this time.