[X]

"Alright. From the beginning," Abel repeats, crunching the dry leaves under his fingers. "I guess it started at the beginning of senior year. I was done being in the closet. I'd told everyone who I thought should really know that I was gay-- my family, my closest friends, my dog. It was just time to go public.

"The only problem with being publicly gay and single is that it's basically the same as being closeted and single. Nobody knows, and it isn't like you can just go around telling strangers that you're gay without looking like an arrogant asshole. I was a bit underwhelmed when it wasn't as big as coming out to people one on one. So, I decided that the next thing for me to do as a newly out gay boy was to get a boyfriend.

"I remember that I had all these plans. We'd be that couple that everyone sort of hated because they were always together, or touching one another, or sharing drinks, or whatever. Sickeningly sweet, but consistent enough that you said 'Aww,' every once in a while. I basically wanted to rub it everyone's faces because I was so excited to be able to do those kinds of things now. And because I was kind of a little shit," Abel laughs. "So, I was looking for a boyfriend. My pals knew that I was officially on the market, and they had this whole screening process where they would send me on blind dates with strangers. It was horrid.

"Then, one day, I was coming back from buying lunch off campus, because I was cool like that, and I spotted this kid, sitting alone. That was so bizarre because the school was so small, and there were so many kids, it's nearly impossible to get a table to yourself. You've been in the lunchroom; it's chaos. So there's just this cute little blonde kid sitting alone, with all of this great, long hair and these fantastic blue eyes, and he's just an angel. I was intrigued.

"I sat with him, just to talk to him and try and figure out why he was alone. Like, did he smell, was he totally insane? Nope. Damon just appreciated a good video game and got good grades. Nothing more. So, I kept sitting with him, and we talked some more. I got to know him." Abel clears his throat and takes a sip of coffee. "Sorry. I haven't spoken for this long in a while, so excuse my voice if it starts to fade. This is just a story I need to tell in its entirety." Kevin smiles, nodding, and holds Abel's hand.

"Where was I? Oh, right. I introduced him to the guys, aka the cool senior guys, and he looked so pleased. It made me feel warm inside, you know? And I guess somewhere in those first few days I started to like him a little. I started inviting him to everything I could, just to hang out with him more. I couldn't get a read on whether or not he liked me back for maybe the first month. Then came Gil's New Year's Party. When the ball dropped, he kissed me. Just turned and kissed me, imagine that." Kevin raises his hand, and Abel nods in acknowledgement, amused. "Yes, Blue?"

"He kissed you first?" Kevin's head is cocked to the side, his cloud of curls tilted wildly.

"Yep."

"Okay, just fact checking. Continue."

"Alright. After the kiss, things changed between us. In public, he blamed the whole thing on too many shots and his lack of beer pong skills, but when we were alone, he told me otherwise. We started dating in secret soon afterwards, because he was really closeted. Even though it was basically the opposite of the relationship I'd dreamed of, I went with it; I was head over heels for him. In school and around acquaintances we pretended to be close friends, but he was always holding my hand under a table or standing too close to be platonic.

"When our relationship got a little more heated, sexually speaking, we had a few choice places picked out for, you know, canoodling and that. My room, his room, those were optimal. But then, the choir room, the bleachers-- Oh, you know that shed by the track field?"

Kevin makes a face. "The one with the splintery doors and the mold problem? That's-- No! Eww, no, tell me you didn't."

Abel bites his lip raising his eyebrows and smiling, playing up his expression of boyish bragging. "Every Thursday. Third period." He shakes his head. "But, I'm getting off track. Our favorite spot at school was the janitor's closet." Abel's mood sobers suddenly, and he examines the light filtering through the leaves above him. "We were in there, doing our usual thing, and a janitor walked in on us.

"If only I'd listened to Damon. He told me that we were being too loud, and I just didn't care. It was almost winter break, and I was being reckless." Abel's hands start to shake, and Kevin pulls them close and kisses them. "We were sent to the principal's office, and Damon started saying all this crazy shit, that we weren't together, that i'd forced him into the janitor's closet and tried to do things to him. I tried to defend myself, but it was hard.

"I know he was lying because he was afraid to be outed, and he probably didn't know the consequences of what he was saying. He even seemed like he believed it, like in the panic he'd blocked out everything that involved us as a couple. But, I just couldn't believe that he'd throw me under the bus like that. Word spread, even though the entire conversation was meant to be confidential, and I became an outlaw. Everyone shunned me except for maybe two of the guys in my group and a friend from creative writing class. They were the only ones I'd told about Damon and I.

"It was easy to prove myself innocent to the principal; I had text messages proving that we were in a mutual relationship and engaged in consensual activities on school property regularly," Abel barks a harsh laugh. "I got suspended for three months and completed the remainder of my coursework at home. Everyone agreed that the persecution of my peers was basically unavoidable without drawing even more attention to the issue. Didn't go to graduation; my diploma was shipped to me in a manilla envelope.

"Seeing Damon with you was a surprise, but I tried to ignore him because I'm really into you. I guess he had to go and mess that up as well." Abel covers his face with his hands.

Kevin sits uselessly next to him, trying to figure out what he could say. He doesn't know who to believe, but Abel seems to mean what he's saying. So, he leans in close and says, "Maybe he hasn't messed this up."

Abel looks up, eyes wide. "So, you don't hate my guts?"

"No." Upon seeing the beginnings of a grin on Abel's face, he rushes to say, "That doesn't mean that Damon isn't telling the truth, though." He gives a small, anxious sigh. "I have no clue which one of you to believe..."

Abel shrugs, looking like he's trying not to be offended. "So, you're still believing him over me?"

"I'm not believing anyone. My best friend is saying one thing and my boyfriend is saying the opposite. What am I to do?"

Abel frowns. "Your best friend has turned on you before. How do you know that he isn't doing that now?"

Kevin's shoulders slump, and he shakes his head. "I don't. But I really don't think he'd lie about this."

"So, you think I would lie?"

"I didn't say that," Kevin blurts, starting to feel a bit cornered. "I'm only saying that you have more reason to."

Abel blinks. His face is carefully blank, but a muscle in his jaw flexes tensely. "You seriously don't believe me, do you?"

Kevin hesitates. "It doesn't matter, does it? I love you regardle--"

"Yes. It does matter." Abel picks himself up from the leaves and stands above Kevin. "It matters that you think I'd do something like that. It matters that you aren't taking my word. It matters that I just poured my heart out to you, told you something that I haven't even let myself think about since I was 18, and you just disregarded it."

Kevin shakes his head throughout the small speech. "No! That's not what I'm trying to do! That's not what this was about..."

"Oh? Then what was it about?"

"I was going to fix things. I was going to listen to you and fix things." Kevin's voice is quiet, and he avoids Abel's eyes.

"Well, you did a great fucking job, didn't you?" Kevin flinches at Abel's harsh tone. "I can't do this right now, Kevin." He turns away and begins to leave.

"No, wait, don't go. Please." Abel doesn't stop walking, shoulders square, eyes set directly forward. "I thought we agreed to talk about this!"

Abel flips him off.

Kevin kneels in the leaves, hopelessly alone. It looks like he hadn't gotten the chance to choose between Abel and Damon; Damon made the choice for him.

***

Cal approaches his and Abel's shared room warily. An angry, rhythmic thumping comes from within, and Sasha sits underneath a short table at the end of the hall. When Cal puts his hand on the doorknob, she casts a sorry look his way.

The door opens, and Cal is nearly smacked in the face with an old, dirty tennis ball. Cal looks at Abel, who stands on the other side of the room, fist clenched around said tennis ball. He's breathing hard, jaw tense, red-rimmed eyes fixed in an angry stare.

Cal lets out a flighty, nervous chuckle and moves toward his bed. "H-hey, buddy. How'd things go with the Kevin thing?" He asks, trying to be polite.

Abel scowls, squeezing the tennis ball tighter. He flings it against the wall again. "Fuck Kevin." A tear slips down his cheek, and it seems to make him even angrier.

Cal looks away, eyes wide, turning back toward the door. "O-kay, then, I'm gonna go, and leave you to... Whatever it is that you've got going on. Call if you need anything. Byeee." He drags out the word until the door is shut behind him.

He huffs. Kevin is about to get a piece of his mind.

***

Kevin sits on his bed staring at the wall. His phone is in his hand, and he's considering calling Damon. He wants someone to talk to- but doesn't know what to say.

The phone vibrates, and Kevin raises it to his ear. "Hel--"

"Dude, what the fuck? What did you do?" Cal sounds peeved.

"I don't--"

"Don't interrupt me. I said to fix him, not bring out his inner Hulk. This is worse than the sulking. He just yelled at me for eating mac and cheese in my own house. I thought you said you were going to talk to him. What happened?" Cal says all of this with no breaks in between. Kevin recalls what happened last time he tried to answer a question, and keeps his mouth shut. "Answer me when I am talking to you!"

Kevin jumps, startled. "Sorry, I jus--"

"Shut. Up. I don't even want to hear your voice right now. All I know is that you need to take whatever you just did and undo it or else I'll rip your spinal cord out of your throat. I refuse to live with the Hulk. Do you understand me?"

Kevin doesn't. "Yes, sir."

"Don't call me sir." Cal hangs up the phone.

Kevin stares at his phone for a moment, then sets it down on his bed. He lays back, feeling emotionally drained. How is he supposed to fix things with someone who doesn't want to speak to him?