《Blue (boyxboy)》XVI
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[X]
Kevin lays on his back in the middle of his carpet, clutching his cell phone tightly enough to turn his knuckles white. He takes a deep breath in, and taps Abel's name in his contact list.
The options roll across his screen. Kevin's thumb hovers over the call button for a few seconds. He turns the phone screen off and folds his hands over his stomach.
He needs to plan for this a bit better. He can't just go calling his emotionally unstable sort of boyfriend who doesn't want to talk to him with no planning, can he?
Should he send a text a bit before, to let Abel know? Should he do the entire thing via text? Is that being cowardly or avoiding conflict? What is the point of this call? To fix things? What does that mean?Should Kevin hear Abel out or just make him feel not crappy? How? Apologize? What is he even going to say? "I'm sorry"? That doesn't seem nearly sufficient.
This line of thought is interrupted by the phone on Kevin's chest buzzing. He answers the call without checking the caller id.
"Hello?"
"Yo, Kev! How's it going?" Damon's voice blasts through the speaker.
"Oh, hi, Day." Kevin looks around his room. "I'm not really up to much. What about you?"
"I'm on my way to a party. You wanna go? I'm sure there'll be plenty of hot chicks- or, you know, dudes, if that's what you're into now." There's an edge to Damon's voice when he mentions the gay thing, but Kevin is pleased that he's even been invited. It's a big step toward returning their friendship to what it once was.
"As much as I'd love to go, there's something I gotta do today," Kevin says regretfully.
"The boy toy?" This time, Damon doesn't bother to hide the disdain in his voice.
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Kevin sighs. "The 'boy toy' and I aren't really speaking right now. I've got to fix it."
Damon huffs loudly. "Are you kidding me? Fix things? He attacked me."
"I hear you, I do. It's just... Maybe he's changed. He's really upset anyhow, and I don't need that weighing on my conscience." Kevin prepares himself for an angry flood of words.
Instead, the voice on the other line gets a little quieter. "Kevin. Are you really going to comfort him right now? I understand the idea of closure and clean consciences, but seriously?"
"Yes." Kevin sighs softly. "I know that it seems unfair to you, but if I'm ever going to move on, it's necessary."
"You know what? Whatever. Call me when you're done being a tool."
Kevin hears the phone click in his ear, and hangs up. He groans, covering his face with a forearm. He's probably just lost any progress made with Damon, he's no closer to knowing what to say to Abel, and now he's having second thoughts about it. Great.
Taking a deep breath, Kevin grabs his phone again. He presses the call button next to Abel's contact information, and prays for luck.
"Hello?" Abel's voice is gravelly from disuse, but still slow and calming.
"Hey, Abel."
"Oh. Kevin." Kevin flinches. He'd been hoping that Abel would call him Blue, that things wouldn't be so awkward between them. "What do you need?"
"I just wanted to talk," Kevin attempts weakly.
"So you believe me?" Abel's tone becomes hopeful, light.
Kevin feels even worse than before. "Well, I didn't say that..."
Abel snorts, and a shifting is heard on his end of the phone. "Then, what is there to talk about?"
Biting his lip, Kevin thinks. What is there to talk about, really? "I never really let you tell me your side of the story. And I'm sorry. If you still want to tell it, I'm here to listen."
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There's a pause while Abel thinks, then, "Yeah, okay. Let's meet up somewhere. Fred's?"
Kevin smiles. "Perfect."
***
Abel sits in a side booth of Fred's Coffee. He squeezes a warm paper cup of black coffee between his hands. This is the first time he's left the house in nearly a week, and the ambient noise is making him a bit jumpy. But, he's showered, and a half eaten muffin rests on the napkin next to him.
Kevin searches the room for Abel and nearly doesn't recognize him. He's got a stubbly beard, his hair looks wild underneath his beanie, and his eyes have dark shadows beneath them.
"Hey, Blue," he mumbles, softly, caramel eyes smiling a bit.
Kevin lets out a shaky, relieved breath. His decision to try not to get too close dissolves as soon as Abel calls him by the right name. "Hey." He thinks it'd be inappropriate to go in for a kiss, or even a hug, so he just sits in the booth across from Abel.
"You want anything to drink?" Abel asks, knee jumping around under the table, fingernails scratching into the cup. He's anxious, feels like he's forgotten how to talk to Kevin.
"Just a vanilla chai, so long as they'll give it to me," Kevin jokes.
Abel's resulting laugh is strained, and he smushes his cup into an unstable oblong. He scratches his arm. "Can we maybe go somewhere quieter to talk? I know I suggested this spot, but I don't want to be overheard."
Kevin looks at Abel's shaking hands and, in a fit of bravery, covers them with his own. "Yeah, that's fine. I'll get my drink real quick, then we can go." His voice is soft and honest, and Abel nods gratefully.
Kevin rushes to the counter. Thankfully, his arch nemesis isn't working, and he gets his drink without a hitch.
He watches Abel shifting around and writing on the table with his finger. It's hard not to trust someone who seems so open, so sensitive. Kevin returns to the table, places a hand on Abel's shoulder. Abel looks up, smiles a bit less stiffly than earlier, and laces his fingers with Kevin's. They walk outside like this, and Kevin nearly forgets about the Incident until Abel says, "How about we go over to that park, right there. We can find somewhere quiet and talk this out?"
Kevin nods easily, leading Abel into the park and under a large, leafy tree. It's beginning to lose many of said leaves, creating a crunchy blanket underneath the branches. Abel sits on the dead leaves, patting the space next to him.
Once Kevin settles in, Abel sighs, rubbing his face. "Where do I start?"
"The beginning is always a good place," Kevin murmurs, leaning his head on Abel's shoulder. Something in the back of his head tells him not to get so comfy with a potential sex offender, but Kevin ignores it. This is Abel.
Abel pulls Kevin closer, drumming his fingers on his knee. "Okay. The beginning. I can do that, but you've got to promise me something."
Kevin slides back a bit, skeptical. "What?"
Abel stares at the yellowing tree above him. "Promise me you'll listen to the whole story, until it's over, and then pass judgement? It sounds completely ridiculous at some points, but it's a truth that I need you to hear. Promise?" He tilts his head back down and sticks out a pinky.
Kevin smiles at him gently, and links his pinky with Abel's, giggling at how small his hands look. "I promise."
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