Zombie: A poem

By Abel

I need you.

You were the only thing holding me together

Keeping me from shattering

Warming me to keep my teeth from chattering

And now you're nowhere to be found.

You kept me sane,

Kept me alive, brought color into my world

And now everything seems dead.

Periwinkle looks grey and blue no longer has a meaning.

What do I look like now?

Eyes rimmed with sleepless nights and too long spent crying,

Hands quivering and panicky because they have separation anxiety,

Lips dragged down by the weight of 'I Love Yous' unspoken,

A little too thin because I've spent days lying on the ground broken

Instead of trying to remember how to live.

I leave the lights on at night

Because the darkness is scary without you here to fight off the demons.

I haven't listened to any music

Because every one of my favorite songs has you in the chorus.

My bedroom is turning into a labyrinth

Of thoughts I've been avoiding, mementos of you, and night terrors;

I can't turn a corner without running into one.

I haven't looked at my phone since we last spoke.

I'm afraid you've called.

I'm afraid that you haven't.

I've barely left my bed because I'm afraid to face the world and realize

That it's been continuing on without me, and you with it.

I don't eat because I can hardly remember how to breathe without hurting.

Before you left,

My room was a secret,

My bed a sacred place of worship,

My headboard, a handhold for emergencies because

Loving you felt like free falling.

You were a God, held on high,

And I was your willing disciple.

Now, without you,

My room in a mausoleum,

My bed a hole six feet deep,

My headboard, a grave stone with no name on it.

You- You are an angel that never came,

And I am the resident zombie.