《Behind Closed Curtains (Desires of the Forbidden)》Chapter 20
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The night out with Zach was in a word... tense.
I was on edge the entire night, waiting for him to explode, to berate me with hundreds of questions as to why I was calling out another man's name in my sleep and why he found me with that exact same man when he arrived for his 'surprise' pick up.
Yet, he didn't.
Instead, he held whatever emotions he had boiling inside of him inside, making me question if I was in fact imagining the whole scenario or overthinking it in my mind.
Alas, when we arrived home, I crashed into bed almost immediately. My limbs were weak, my mind was numb of thought, and I knew I just needed to sleep the entire stressful, steam filled day off.
And that's exactly what I did.
Rehearsal began as usual the next day. We ran through the entire show completely off book without stopping, just as we would be for the actual performances.
As much as I strived not to be, I was undeniably awkward around Kaleb the entire day. I would allow nothing but fleeting eye contact between us; the very notion of his radiant stare on mine for longer than a second sending my heart into overdrive and filling my mind with an utter bafflement as to why.
I couldn't pin point what but something drastic changed within me yesterday. Something about the tenderness embedded inside of Kaleb's words as he drove me to the brink of my pleasure ignited a switch of turmoil to flip inside of me.
I didn't know what to call it; what emotion Kaleb stirred inside of me yesterday.
All I knew was that it was mystifying and complicated every aspect of my life considerably.
"And that will be curtain!" Dave bellowed out from the audience as the final line of the play was spoken, signifying the end of the play.
Meg, Jackson, Kaleb and I all walked to the front of the stage, taking a seat in various positions on the edge of the stage, prepared to listen to Dave's notes of our performance.
Of course, Kaleb sat right next to me.
"Honestly guys," Dave began, clapping his hands together with a surprisingly pleased look shadowing his features. "I really don't have much to say at all. I would even go as far to say that this was your best performance as a cast yet. You guys are really coming together and working off of each other beautifully. Plus we finished two hours early!"
That elicited a small round of cheers from everyone in the audience and on stage.
"And, since you all were so good today, as a treat," He paused, staring at us all and letting the anticipation gnaw away at our curiosity.
"You all get to go home early!" he finally announced, earning another, considerably louder round of cheers from everyone in the theater.
Everyone except me.
Zach had the day off. Leaving early meant going back to the apartment and spending even more time enduring the maddening tension consuming Zach and I's relationship since yesterday.
As my unwinding reluctance washed through my body, my shoulders slumped over and I physically felt my face fall in defeat.
Of course, the ever watchful man next to me took notice right away.
A swift movement next to me caught my attention briefly as Kaleb dropped himself off the front of the stage, landing expertly on the floor, and found his way in front of my still sitting figure.
I refused to look up. I was very aware of the fact that he was there, his ever dominating presence as subtle as an explosion as it surrounded me, invading my soul and piercing my mind with its potency.
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As always, he was the first to speak.
"So, here's my proposition. We've now got two extra hours to kill. You and I obviously have a lot to talk about since you've once again been avoiding me most of the day. How about we get out of here, go somewhere and just... talk?"
"You know for a guy, you sure want to talk a lot," I mused, still keeping my stare trained on my lap.
"Only with you."
At this, my gaze rose to his automatically.
"Why only with me?" I asked softly.
Kaleb's full lips pursed in thought as he shook his head in uncertainly, his eyes pinching together at the sides as he stared at me.
"Whenever I find that answer out for myself, I'll be sure to let you know."
"Fair enough."
Kaleb's lips drew up into an adorable lopsided grin of his own, his eyes sparkling with glee as he suddenly clapped his hands together enthusiastically.
"Okay! So, you ready to go?" he asked with perceived excitement carved into his chiseled features.
My smile slipped off of my face, Kaleb watching it as it fell and the joy in his eyes going with it.
"I should really just go home," I murmured, Kaleb's stare flashing with despair as I spoke.
"Why? He doesn't know that we got out two hours early. As long as you get home at a normal time, he'll be none the wiser."
My attention spiked as he moved in closer. He placed both of his hands on either side of my legs as they hung off of the stage, bringing his face just underneath mine. His mint breath intermingled with my own as he spoke.
"I know you don't wanna go home, Leah and I sure as shit don't want you to go home either. Every time I know you're with him... I'm miserable. I'm going crazy not knowing what's happening to you, if you're okay. So just do me a favor and... don't go home yet," he finished, his brows creased together and his enchanting eyes pleading into mine.
My lips parted barely, prepared to combat him with a dignified response and yet, I couldn't. As my gaze flitted over the planes of his painfully handsome face, taking in the sincerity sitting so evidently in his bright eyes, I found my words lodged in my throat.
I knew better than to believe him but... a part of me desperately wanted to. A large part of me actually wanted to trust the man in front of me, trust his words and believe in the feelings he claimed to have for me.
Maybe it would help make sense of why my heart gave a significant start every time Kaleb's charming gaze met mine. Somehow it might explain why my body erupted into a fit of excitement and anticipation whenever he was within arm's reach.
My life had been a myriad of confusion and turmoil over the last two months and a solid answer to anything at this point would be a blessing I was in desperate need of.
As if Kaleb could sense my inner conclusion, he held his hand out to me, waiting for me to place mine in his. A flashback of the first rehearsal soared through my mind where Kaleb pulled the exact same maneuver except this time... I accepted.
His hand enveloped mine in its large warmth and size, securing my fingers in his hold. Anxiety and exhilaration bubbled in my stomach as Kaleb set his gleaming stare on mine, a wicked smile playing at his lips as he spoke.
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"Let's go."
*******
"So where exactly are we going?" I asked as I shoved my seat belt into place, securing myself in the passenger seat of Kaleb's truck.
"That, Peaches," Kaleb said as he latched his bright stare to mine, mirth swimming under the surface of his eyes as his lips tilted into a playful smirk. "Is for me to know and for you to find out."
An absurd scoff slipped past my lips as I playfully rolled my eyes at his mysterious response.
"Okay. As long as you're not planning on killing me in a field somewhere."
"Nah." He shook his head as he shifted the truck into reverse, sparing me mischievous a glance as he did so. "If I was gonna take you to an abandoned field with no one else around, killing you would not be what I would have in mind."
He had the audacity to throw a devastatingly seductive wink towards me, causing a severe blush to burn onto my cheeks as I averted my stare to anywhere else in his truck but at him.
The drive wasn't but 15 minutes long and the ride, while lacking much conversation, was comfortable and quick. We didn't try and force any conversation or small talk. I found that simply being in the car with him, having his presence surrounding mine was oddly comforting and even a bit strange in how natural it all seemed.
Before I knew it, Kaleb was parking his truck in a parallel parking spot that sat next to a long row of quaint looking mom and pop shops. They day was bright and the sun hit my eyes, making them squint in reflex as I stepped out of the truck and onto the warm sidewalk.
Kaleb was at my side before I even had the chance to close the door, a restless excitement radiating off of him.
"Where are we?" I asked as I turned in my spot, taking in the vast expanse of large oak trees that lined on both sides of the road. A glorious fountain sat in what looked like the middle of a park, minus the jungle gym and teeter totters. There were benches littered all around, a fantastically white gazebo homed at the far end of the long sidewalk that stretched along the middle, and what stood out the most to me was the large variety of ornate sculptures and artwork that were scattered all through the park.
"One of my favorite places ever," Kaleb responded as he too took in the beauty of the park ahead of us.
"I can see why."
Kaleb's gaze fell to mine as a small smile played on his pink lips. Shoving his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, he nodded his head in the direction of the park with joy clear in his eyes.
"Come on."
We crossed the brick road and headed into the masses of trees and were immediately enveloped into the world of the art and natural beauty around us.
I was in awe and overwhelmed by some of the works homed in the park. There was a tall, bronze sculpture of a man and woman dancing that my eye always seemed to trail back towards. There were paintings, drawings, and digital images all encased in frame and all throughout the park and I fell in love with each one of them.
"My mom and I used to come here all the time. This is one of the last places her and I were together before she died."
My head snapped in his direction, shock and a familiar sorrow seeping through my veins as I took in his mournful words as he continued, lost in a world of his own thoughts.
"She's really where I got my love of art from. She and I used to paint together when I was a kid and... I always looked up to her. We would walk through here almost every weekend."
My heart formed a significant crack as I saw almost the exact same pain I had once experienced, shining through Kaleb's eyes. It was a pain that couldn't be remedied by gifts, space, or even time. Nothing could heal the nearly fatal wound of losing a parent; especially so young and so brutally.
To watch the one who raised you, the one who took care of you and taught you everything you know today wither away into but a shell of the bright, vibrant human being they used to be... that was something no child should ever have to bear.
Far too many do.
Kaleb and I were among the many and we would be forever connected through our trauma; through our pain.
"Now, whenever I come here it's more so in remembrance of her. It brings back so many memories... some days it's harder than others to be here but it always feels, I don't know like... like maybe she's here with me, walking with me through the park like we used to."
Kaleb came to a standstill in front of the gazebo. I followed suit, still standing next to him and not daring to take my eyes off of his as he recalled his mom and opened up to me.
"It's the only place where I still feel her. Everything else has lost her touch or her smell over time but here... this was our spot. No matter what, she'll always be here."
I was let completely dumbstruck, staring at him with my mouth slightly ajar and my eyes glossed over in raw pain as I took in his words. One thought stuck out in my mind though, and I simply had to ask.
"Why are you telling me all of this?" My voice was barely above a whisper.
Kaleb's head turned in my direction as he connected his intent gaze to my own.
"I wanted to," he said without a shred of deceit in his stare. "I wouldn't have brought you here if I didn't want to tell you."
"It just seems like such a special place to you..."
"It is," he answered without pause, his eyes still locked onto mine.
"Have you brought anyone else here before?" I asked with a cock of my head and curious eyes.
Slowly, he shook his head. "Just you."
Confusion swarmed my brain rapidly as to why; why me? Why had he brought me to such a sentimental place that he hadn't showed anyone before? Why was I seemingly so special to him?
I just didn't get it.
"You... make no sense to me," I muttered as I tore my gaze from his and began trekking back to the truck.
Kaleb quickly caught up though, placing his large frame in front of mine, stunting any further movement from me.
"Why don't I make any sense?" he inquired, his eyes bright and intense on mine.
"I don't know, you just... don't!"
"I need more than that, Leah." He shook his head defiantly.
"I-" I broke off as my lips tried to form into words as my mind thought of them. "You barely know me and yet... you took care of me when I was drunk, you say you want to help me out of my situation with Zach and that I deserve all of these inconceivable things, and now you brought me here! Somewhere that means so much to you and I just don't understand why; why you have done so much for me when I've done absolutely nothing for you."
I was a bit winded from my outburst, my emotions coursing through my body and rushing through my veins. I waited patiently for Kaleb to respond, to give me some sort of solace. Finally, he spoke and it ultimately only confused me even further.
"Because I care about you, Leah. Those are things you do for people when you care about them. Not hit them and tell them they're stupid," Kaleb bit out the last part of his sentence.
"And don't say you haven't done anything for me because you have," Kaleb continued. His gaze wandered over my face, a much softer look taking over his features. "Even if you don't know it now... you've done a lot for me, Peaches."
Warmth radiated through our stares, the atmosphere around us beginning to buzz as our connection intensified; deepened. I didn't understand it and I wasn't sure I ever would but in that moment... I was glad for it.
Kaleb suddenly broke away, severing our connection instantly as he turned from me and strolled over to the large sculpture of the dancing couple. His eyes met mine, a new found glee mixing through his radiant blue stare.
"I saw you looking at it when we first walked through." Then, he held out his hand to me and bowed.
"My lady," he said in a deep, playful voice and raised his eyes back up to mine, a wide grin playing at his full lips. "May I have this dance?"
A short laugh tore past my lips, my hand flying up over my mouth to cover up my laughter. My eyes widened as I realized he was serious.
"You can't be serious?"
Once again, he gestured for me to join him, still keeping firmly in his bowed position.
"Kaleb, there are people around," I tried to reason as I walked up closer to him, tugging down my shirt nervously as I thought about the attention we would draw.
"So?"
"I don't think it would be very appropriate," I murmured as I took a step closer, our bodies now just a few feet apart.
Kaleb's stare darkened, a suggestive smirk forming on his lips.
"We've never really been good at being appropriate anyway."
And with that, I felt an arm slip around my waist and I was pulled tightly up into a toned chest.
Panic erupted through my mind and my breath hitched as a calloused hand grabbed firmly at my chin and raised it. Kaleb's warm stare seeped into mine, my heart beat already beginning to simmer.
"It's just me," he soothed in a gentle voice. "It's just me, Leah."
Calmly, I nodded, accepting his touch and willing my mind to do the same. It was just Kaleb; the Kaleb who cared about me, the Kaleb who had helped me.
The Kaleb who could single-handedly calm my panic attacks and simultaneously make my heart sing with such an unexpected amount of compassion and gratefulness.
Still keeping our gazes fixed on one another's, I felt fingers skim down the length of my arm, grazing across the insides of my palm and tenderly lacing through mine.
"Ready?" he asked, his voice low and captivating.
"For what?"
Then, I was moving. It was slow and calculated but none the less; Kaleb was spinning me carefully under his lifted arm before gently bringing me back into his embrace, his strong arm locking around my waist once again.
A small laugh tumbled off of my lips as a bout of excitement began to bubble within me.
"Can we go faster?" I asked, staring up at Kaleb with joy brewing in my eyes. A deep, genuine chuckle rumbled through Kaleb's chest as he dropped his delighted gaze to mine.
"Now, that's a request I'm always happy to oblige."
And then I was spinning again under Kaleb's arm a bit faster than the time before. A joyous thrill zipped through my body and a sudden squeal flew from my mouth as Kaleb spun me once again under his arm unexpectedly.
The wind rushed around me and breezed through my hair as my laughter echoed through the streets. Kaleb brought my body back into his, only to dip me backwards moments later.
My back arched with the movement and my head fell back, letting my wavy hair cascade down and almost touch the cement with how far Kaleb dipped me backwards.
Another squeal erupted past my lips as I felt Kaleb's fingers dig into my waist teasingly, tickling me briefly and eliciting another round of deep and lively laughter to rip past my lips.
I was brought back up right suddenly, my fingers gripping onto Kaleb's broad shoulders for support. Kaleb's grinning, adoring face meeting mine.
"God, I love hearing you laugh."
"I love laughing," I responded back with just as much merriment etched onto my face.
Kaleb shook his head, something remarkable passing through his eyes as he stared at me. Sparks ignited underneath my skin as I felt Kaleb's large hand come up and cup my cheek tenderly, his thumb softly stroking my face with the most admiring look sitting in his sky blue eyes.
Pointedly, I leaned into his touch, relishing in the warmth and compassion he was giving me in that moment even though I should have pulled away
"What are we doing?" I whispered, my stare imploring his sweetly.
His eyes sparkled down into mine, reflecting the elation sitting in my stare right back at me.
"I don't know," he answered honestly. "But I like it... whatever is it."
My heart lurched at his words and in that moment, I was forced to face the fact that was now, more than ever, utterly indisputable.
"I do too."
Kaleb drove me back to the theater shortly after. The drive back was entirely too short for my liking as I found myself not wanting to go home, to stay with Kaleb until I had had my fill of him; which I wasn't sure was ever going to really happen.
"I had a really great time," Kaleb spoke as he leaned himself back against my driver side door, preventing me from actually getting inside of my car and leaving.
"Me too."
"I kinda don't wanna let you go," Kaleb admitted with a sheepish grin.
"I can tell," I joked, referring to the fact that he was literally blocking my car door.
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