Senior year is a different ride altogether. Ningning tells Winter once that she feels like she has one foot down in the current year and one already in the next-like she's here, but already half away in college, and Winter is forced to admit she agrees, sometimes.

When she gets her first college acceptance letter, it has her screaming and jumping to hug her mom, but it's soon followed by a bitter sense of dread.

Every new letter, even the ones telling her she's waitlisted, is like a tick on the clock of the time she has left here, with her friends, with her family, with Karina. Sometimes she feels so far away from where she's stood that it's distressing.

Yujin tells her it's normal but also to try not to think about it so much. Yeji tells her to shut up and not get her nervous. Her dad tell her he's proud of her.

It's Karina who pulls her back to the present, invariably, every time.

They don't dwell on it. They've had their serious talks, they've had their tearful moments, and there's nothing left for them to do than enjoy their time together and wait to see how the cards will fall.

Karina's stubborn, anyway. She's long since convinced Winter to stop looking at the two of them in comparison to Ningning and Giselle. When Winter gets the acceptance letter to one of her top choices in colleges, Karina has nothing but pride to show for it-she hugs Winter tight and tells her nothing about this is cause for sadness, and Winter believes her.

It's an active choice to believe in Karina-rather, it used to be. Now it comes as second nature. Looking into Karina's eyes and trusting her is as easy as breathing now.

Seeing that trust reflected right back at her, then, is as exhilarating as their first kiss-like when she pulls Karina closer to herself when they're with their friends, and gets a soft look and a smile from her as she presses in closer, when Karina's body language screams how much she wants Winter.

And Winter trusts Karina, loves her, and wants her right back.

After college acceptance letters, everything starts happening really quickly. Finals come and go, and Winter spends more time studying than sleeping, but she passes all of her tests with flying colors. It's easier now that she knows her options-turns out the possibility of going to college with Yujin is no longer a joke but something she's actually considering-and somehow that also makes it easier to believe that she and Karina will be okay.

She tries not to think too much about how convinced Ningning and Giselle had been back when Giselle graduated high school, nearly two years ago now. It's been a long time since the two of them broke up, and while Winter thinks they're still sad about it sometimes, they say it's okay. In fact, both of them have told Winter, repeatedly, that it's okay, and Ningning even threw in a vague hint that Winter and Karina were going to be okay, too.

Vague, because even though Winter is pretty sure everyone knows about them, she hasn't explicitly told all of her friends that she's dating Karina now. Yeji is really the only one, because she's Yeji', and it's not like Winter and Karina are trying to keep it a secret anymore.

That's why the decision to tell Ningning comes easy to her. She feels like Ningning should know, too-for real. With Winter coming out and telling her straight out.

Winter really wants to do it between the two of them, so she waits until they're hanging out on the softball field by themselves after school one day. She waits until they're on a break from throwing balls back and forth, flopping themselves down on the field with bottles of water and hair sticking to their faces.

"I want to tell you something," Winter says, slowly, and waiting for a sense of anxiety that never comes. When she turns her head, Ningning is looking back at her with an expectant twinkle in her eyes and a knowing grin on her lips, and Winter playfully shoves her shoulder. "I'm dating Karina."

Ningning's grin turns into a smirk. "Finally."

"We've been dating for a while actually," Winter admits, somewhat sheepish. "I don't know why I didn't tell you sooner to be honest."

"It's okay," Ningning shrugs. "You two have been through a lot. I get it if you want some time with just the two of you without everyone butting in to give shitty advice all the time."

"I guess." Winter cracks a smile, a mixture of the one she gets whenever she thinks about Karina lately, and the one she gets every time Ningning proves just how significant she is in Winter's life. "Thank you," she says with a content sigh.

Ningning doesn't say anything for a moment or two. Then, "For what?"

"Making it easier for me to like girls," Winter says, softly. She frowns, trying to find the right words to say. "Does that sound weird?"

"No, not at all," Ningning says, almost immediately. "But you weren't exactly subtle. You know that, right?"

Winter laughs, covering her face with both her hands. "Oh my god. And here I was thinking I was the most subtle gay person on the surface of the earth."

"I remember you almost had a heart attack when I said I liked Gi. Nothing subtle about how red your face got when you realized that I'm gay," Ningning says with a chuckle. "And when you were dating Soobin-I mean, that wasn't very convincing, either."

"I thought I could like him," Winter sighs. She remembers Soobin's easy grin, how fondly he looked at her, how much she wanted to fall for him. "He was really nice and pretty handsome, but-"

"He's a guy," Ningning deadpans. "And you're gay."

Winter looks at Ningning then, considering her words and taking a moment to process how she herself feels now, hearing them like that. Winter's not used to feeling this at ease whenever someone uses that word, especially when it's in regards to herself, but the anxious feeling in her stomach doesn't come, and the only jump of her heart is one of excitement. She nods. "Yeah, I'm gay."

Ningning reaches over and her fingertips brush Winter's wrist, and when Winter meets her eyes, Ningning is looking at her with what looks like a pride in her eyes. "And what about Karina?"

"Karina's..." Winter pauses, considering her words. "Not gay. I think." She shrugs. "She said she likes boys and girls, but she likes me most. I didn't want to like, push her into anything and make her label herself it if she doesn't want to."

"That's good," Ningning nods. "As long as she's into you I wouldn't worry about it."

"Best advice ever," Winter grins. Ningning grins back, and the moment settles, so Winter sits up and picks up the ball from between them. "Karina's almost done with band practice, but I still have some time to kick your ass if you're up for it?"

Ningning scrambles to her feet immediately. "Oh fuck you, Kim. I'm way better than you."

"No fucking, thanks. I have a girlfriend," Winter shoots back, and she's not even surprised by the flood of warmth that washes over her, because Karina is her girlfriend, and everyone can know.

Finally.

"Are you nervous?" Karina asks, lacing her fingers with Winter's. They're in the backseat of Winter's parents' car on the way to their high school, and Winter hasn't really said anything in the past hour or so.

She looks up at Karina. "A little. Is that weird? All I have to do is walk across a stage to pick up a piece of paper."

"It's not weird. You're closing a chapter of your life today. That's a big thing." Karina's eyes flicker towards where Winter's parents are sitting in the front of the car, and then she leans closer to brush a hair out of Winter's face. "You're allowed to be nervous about change."

Winter subconsciously leans into Karina a little for comfort. She's not sure whether she's nervous because things are going to change after this or if she's more excited about leaving high school and finally doing things she's genuinely really interested in, but there's a flutter in her stomach and she can't stop tapping her foot nervously.

Her phone buzzes where it's tucked under her thigh, and she unlocks it to see a bunch of messages from her friends confirming they're already there.

It's almost time. She wipes her clammy hands on the seat of the car before taking Karina's hand back in hers and squeezing it tightly, thankful when all Karina does is squeeze back.

Her mind is a complete haze as she sits between her classmates and waits to be called. She has a brief thankful moment that she didn't end up getting valedictorian, because she's already nervous enough just sitting there listening intently for her name to be called.

It finally is-name pronounced correctly, even, which has her shooting a pleased grin the announcer's way, and the nudge she gets from the girl beside her is unnecessary as she jumps up to her feet. She glances down briefly to make sure she doesn't trip on her gown and then takes measured steps towards where the principal is holding out her diploma.

The polite applause every student gets is overshadowed in her ears by loud whistles and calls for her name, and she flushes and can't stop grinning as she looks over to see her family cheering for her in the audience.

Her dad is standing up, his fingers in his mouth as he whistles as loud as he can, her mother beside him clapping with a proud look on her face.

And then there's her friends-her extended family, really. Yujin and Giselle are right near Winter's family in the seats, and though Yujin's jumping doesn't make her that noticeable among the crowd, her voice calling Winter's name is impossible to miss. Giselle's bright new hair color is hard to miss beside her, and her grin is obvious from afar. Ryujin's face is half-hidden behind her phone, and she's undoubtedly snapchatting the entire thing, which, now that Winter doesn't hate her anymore is something she realized Ryujin does a lot. Like, a lot.

Winter trails her eyes over them-acknowledges Yeji, who doesn't try to trip her the way she'd threatened to when Winter had flicked her cap crooked, and Ningning, who whoops for Winter despite them all having been explicitly told not to do that for their colleagues while waiting for their diplomas-but her gaze invariably comes back to Karina.

She's standing next to Ryujin, and though Winter had heard Karina screaming right along with her family, she's now clutching her hands under her chin and looking right back at Winter.

The pride that comes to her as she grabs the diploma from the principal's hand doesn't compare to the pride nearly bursting out of her chest at the thought that these are her people. All of them, screaming for her again as she flicks the tassel on her cap to the opposite side before walking down the steps on the stage, all of them are there for her.

When the official ceremony is over, Winter rushes over to where her family and friends are waiting for her. Her parents are standing next to each other with one arm around each other's waists and the other spread wide open for Winter to fly into. She buries her face into her father's shoulder and her mom shuffles closer to wrap them both into a group hug.

Winter holds on to both her parents like a lifeline, and even though she promised herself not to cry in front of everyone, she feels tears dripping into her father's jacket. Out of everyone in her life, her parents have always been a constant support system and there has never really been a moment where she doubted they loved her no matter what, but graduating high school means the start of having to separate from them. She wants to go to college a few hours away from home, and while she'll still be able to visit them often, it's not the same as seeing them every day.

Her parents seem to feel the same way, because they hold her just as tightly. Winter laughs through her tears, trying to keep her mind off of how much she's going to miss them.

At some point they start letting go of each other and when Winter steps back she notices tear stains on her mom's face, too. With a soft smile, her mom kisses the top of her head. "Your friends are waiting. We'll see you at home, okay?"

Winter nods and follows her mom's gaze to where Yujin is practically jumping up and down to hug her, and she smiles. "Yeah, sure. See you there."

Her parents wave a quick goodbye to Winter's friends before disappearing in the crowd, and Winter spins around on her heels to focus her attention on her friends. Even before she's fully turned around Yujin's arms are around her waist and she's forced a step backwards from the way Yujin quite literally threw herself at Winter.

"I'm so proud of you," Yujin says, her voice a few tones higher than normal. "You did it! You graduated at the top of your class and you got accepted into your top colleges-" She takes a deep breath, gesturing at herself to calm down. "I'm just really proud of you."

Winter laughs, and she ruffles Yujin's hair. "Thanks, babe. I'm so glad you could make it."

Yujin's face flushes bright red as she bites her lip and shrugs. "I mean, uh, half our group of friends is graduating today. I didn't really have a choice."

"Yeah, but still. Thank you." Winter wraps one arm around Yujin's shoulders to half hug her again, and she presses a sloppy kiss against her hair. Over the years, Yujin has always been some sort of constant, too, even if they didn't see each other as often as they wanted. Yujin was in college a few hours away from home, and they each had their own lives, but they spoke nearly every day through texts and sometimes Facetime, and it didn't really feel like Yujin was away.

Yujin sort of pulls out of the hug then, and Giselle takes that opportunity to sweep in and tap Winter's cap so that it almost falls off her head. "Great job at being a nerd, Kim."

Winter feigns offense and rolls her eyes, putting the cap back the way it was. "Thanks, Gigi."

"I hate that nickname," Giselle says, but she's smiling and there's zero offense in her voice. "Have you seen Ningning?"

"She's back there with Yeji and Ryujin," Yujin says, pointing somewhere behind Winter. "Did you talk to her yet?"

"What do you want to talk about?" Winter asks, frowning.

Giselle shrugs. "We've been texting a bit, but we haven't seen each other since we broke up. I wanted to give her space, you know?"

"Oh. Do you want to get back together?"

"I don't know, I don't want to rush into anything. It's been a while, and she's out of high school now. Maybe things have changed." Giselle lets out a sigh and pushes her hair out of her face. "Are we still hanging out at your place after this formal bullshit is over with?"

"Yeah, that's the plan." Winter gives Giselle a thumbs up, after which Yujin and Giselle set off to find Ningning and Yeji in the crowd.

Winter sinks down on the first chair to her right to take a breath from all the excitement, but before she can really relax, Karina appears in front of her. Her eyes are wide with exhilaration and pride, and Winter jumps up to hug her.

There's a bright smile on Karina's face as she takes a step closer to wrap her arms around Winter, and Winter can't fight the happiness bubbling up inside her chest. All the heaviness of the day seems to fall off her shoulders the moment Karina reaches out to give her a hug, and there's a moment where everything feels exactly right. Winter buries her face in Karina's neck with a content sigh, breathing in Karina's scent and feeling like right now this is the only thing that counts.

She graduated high school, and she somehow managed to get the only person who can make her heart race and calm her down at the same time back into her life. Winter can't remember a time she was happier than this-this is just it. Nothing else matters.

"I'm so proud of you," Karina whispers in her ear, her lips grazing her skin, sending endless shivers down her spine. "You looked so happy walking down that stage to pick up your diploma. Just seeing you smile makes me smile, too."

"Hmm," Winter hums, lips curling up into a smile. "You make me happy."

Karina pulls back slightly, and her eyes briefly flicker down to Winter's lips. She blinks, and Winter waits, knowing what's going to happen. But when Karina leans in to kiss her mouth, it still takes her breath away. She freezes for a moment, highly aware of how there are at least a hundred people around them, but Karina doesn't pull back and Winter can't help but melt into her touch.

Karina smiles into her mouth and when she pulls back, Winter sees her own happiness reflected in Karina's eyes.

"I'm so proud of you," Karina repeats, still close enough for their foreheads to touch. "And I'm so in love with you."

Winter's chest actually feels like it's going to burst from the way her heart is hammering against her ribs, but it's a good feeling. It's joy and relief and falling in love. She tightens her grip on Karina's waist, and she buries her face in Karina's neck, and she's happier than she's ever been.

They're on the trampoline later that day, when there's darkness surrounding them and the stars seem exceptionally bright in the night sky. Their friends are scattered across Winter's backyard; Yujin, Ryujin, and Yeji are lying on the grass a few feet away from the trampoline, and Ningning and Giselle are sitting closely on a wooden bench, talking in hushed voices.

Winter knows their friends are right there-she can even make out their conversations in the silence of the night-but it somehow feels like Karina is the only other person in the world. Their hands are intertwined, and there's a certain calmness that's spread over them, like a blanket to keep them safe from harm.

When Winter turns her head to look at Karina, Karina is already looking at her with an easy smile, and Winter realizes with a start that this is the way she's been looking at Karina for most of her life. She can't remember not being in love with Karina, and the past year was enough to heal the wounds that had been carved into her heart long before she even knew why.

Karina's lips curl up into a brighter smile, and Winter doesn't hesitate before rolling over to kiss her. Karina's hands hook into the loops of Winter's jeans to pull her closer, but there's nothing sexual about it. It's just Winter kissing Karina and Karina kissing Winter because words are not enough to express their feelings anymore-it's fulfilling the need to be as close to each other as possible.

And when they pull back with tingling lips and fire inside their chests, Karina whispers, "I love you," and Winter says, "I love you, too."

And just like when they were six years old, Karina's smiles shyly and asks, "Forever?" And Winter smiles and touches Karina's cheek and nods. "Forever."

-the end-