kanpo ended up sleeping with me in my bed.

the only difference from the time we were at her house was that we had our backs turned to each other.

i don't know what i did wrong in the first place, but clearly something was bothering her yesterday.

i get the feeling she knows i feel something deeper for her.

this morning before i left for my singing lesson she watched me get ready.

she was half asleep with bed head, looking more adorable than ever.

she was just sat up with the covers wrapped around her, smiling softly as she watched me pick out what i'd wear.

"mm that color looks good on you." she said as i pulled a light blue shirt out of my closet.

id held it against me, "you think so?"

she nodded and suggested i pair it with a black jacket of some sort.

so i did, and it was indeed a good outfit choice.

when i started actually taking my clothes off she started cheering me on.

"wooo, prince gyeomie is so handsome." she was softly clapping and laughing as i shyly stripped.

"aren't you a little too excited to see me like this?" i said shaking my head as i pulled on my shirt.

"nothing i haven't seen before." she smirked as i turned to her after i was fully dressed.

"when'd you get so flirty?" i said laughing.

"i wasn't feeling good yesterday remember?" she said and continued talking about how good i looked.

i smiled to myself, replaying the conversation in my head.

"yugyeom, sing the arpeggio for me please."

i was snapped out of my thoughts and focused on my lesson.

singing lessons were usually overly fairly quick and i'd be able to return home quick. usually my weeks were busy but in between comebacks i had a steady schedule. mondays through wednesday's i'd have dance practice mainly among other preparations, thursday and friday i'd have either recordings or vocal lessons.

weekends i had to myself and my own time.

vocal lessons usually didn't run too late so i was able to go home and do what i wanted.

of course, now i was able to go home and see kanpo.

when i arrived home she was in the living room with suho talking.

i overheard them talking and decided to eavesdrop a bit.

"he talks about you a lot." suho said.

"jackson told me the same thing yesterday." she said laughing lightly.

"it just goes to show how he just can't stop running his mouth." suho laughed with her.

"yeah, he's a really sweet dude."

"why don't you guys, you know, date?"

"well i don't know if he has a dating ban, and i don't know i don't wanna bring my baggage with me you know?" she sounded sad and worried.

"well just an fyi, the ban ended two years ago. but about the baggage thing, i totally get it, but don't worry. you've seen how yugyeom is, he's a good guy trust me."

i could hear the hesitation in her voice, "yeah i know believe me. i just feel like maybe it's too early for now. i'm not exactly the best at relationships."

i realized i had listened too far into the conversation and decided to make myself visible.

i opened the door and tried to make as much noise as i could to make it seem like i'd just arrived.

i walked to the living room and greeted them both, "how's it hanging?"

i settled myself next to kanpo and rested my arm around her shoulders.

suho gave her a look.

"we've just been catching up and stuff, you know." suho explained drinking from his mug.

"yeah, suho's been pretty entertaining actually." kanpo said giving me a reassuring smile.

"im the clown everyone needs." suho shrugged and chuckled.

i realized from yesterday that maybe i was over reacting, i mean maybe he's just being nice.

there's no way he'd actually catch feelings for me.

suho got up and went to his room soon after yugyeom came back.

so now it was just me and yugyeom on the couch watching tv.

some random k drama was playing.

gyeom's arm was around my shoulders and my head was resting against his chest.

i pulled my eyes away from the tv and looked up at him.

he looked back down at me.

i took the opportunity to give him a quick kiss on the mouth and turned back to the tv.

i felt him chuckle lightly from the slight rumble in his chest.

he took his arm away from my shoulders, and swiftly took my face and kissed me longer, more passionately than i had to him.

i kissed back and dug my hands into his hair and tugged on it lightly causing him to moan into the kiss.

i pulled away for a moment, surprised. he looked at me embarrassed and laughed nervously.

"sorry, did i get carried away?"

i shook my head and smiled, "i never thought i'd get a reaction like that from someone."

"what kind of monsters are you dating?" he said it rhetorically but i couldn't help but think of my past relationships.

the three assholes who gave me trust issues, and baggage, the fear of familiarity, the fear of happiness.

different waves of emotion washed over me all at once.

i snapped out of my thoughts and looked at yugyeom's dark eyes.

i played with the hair on the back of his head and sighed, "if only you knew."

"do you wanna talk about it?" he put his hands on my thighs and rubbed his thumbs against my legs softly.

"not really, i'm not sure if i'm ready to." i replied as i moved my hands down to his neck, almost in a choking position.

"okay, just know i'll be here when you are." he pecked my mouth again and smiled at me.

i felt like crying all over again.

i don't know why, but it's like i never experienced how gentle a person could really be.

i traced my thumbs along the veins in his neck and then down to his collarbones.

i pulled his shirt down a little and started kissing and biting lightly.

somehow, surprisingly i could feel his heartbeat getting faster.

i smiled to myself and continued.

meanwhile he was running his hands up and down my legs.

when i was nearly done with the job he gasped and groaned a little.

i pulled away and looked at the hickey with pride.

i pulled his shirt up as to cover it and looked back at him again.

his cheeks were slightly flushed and his lips were parted.

i kissed him softly and climbed off his lap and laid my head on his shoulder.