《miracle | kim yugyeom》1.0
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after lunch, i went back to gyeom's place with suho because gyeom and the boys had to record some vocals for their album.
gyeom came back around 10 at night, and up until now, he and i have been in his living room watching anime.
he wasn't too into anime but i wanted to show him perfect blue, so we watched it.
from there we started talking about his life as an idol and the kind of hardships he went through to get to where he was.
i listened intently to his stories and analogies. he made me realize how idol life wasn't as glamorous as it looked.
as we talked more about ourselves and how much we truly related to one another, i realized how this wasn't just a fling anymore.
this thing that we had going on wasn't going to be quick and easy, or just something he'd look back on in a few years.
it gave me an unsettling feeling. i know what this kind of thing leads to.
friendship, relationship, uncertainty, heartbreak, the cycle repeats.
i didn't want to do that to yugyeom.
i see it every time i talk to him, the look in his eyes.
i see his feelings for me deflowering.
i hate it.
i hate that i can't give him what he so desperately wants from me, with me.
he's so sweet, so charming and funny, and of course very handsome.
he doesn't need someone like me.
"kanpo, are you ok?" gyeom gingerly touched my knee with his fingertips.
shit i spaced out.
i nodded, "yeah i'm fine." i tried to subtly slip my knee from his hand.
he noticed, "are you sure?" he furrowed his eyebrows.
i nodded and stood up.
"you should sleep gyeom." i said trying to smile.
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"alright i guess, do you want a shirt of mine for something to sleep in?" he stood up as well.
i shrugged and nodded.
he took my hand and led me to his bedroom.
i wish he'd stop touching me.
then again he's just used to it.
he gave me a big black shirt and some basketball shorts.
"well there you go, are you gonna sleep in here?" he asked placing his hands on his hips.
"i think i'll just sleep in the living room."
he gave me a confused look, "we've slept in the same bed before though."
"i know it's just," i hesitated. i felt tears sting my eyes.
i held it in, i felt my throat burn from the tension.
why the hell am i crying? what's wrong with me?
gyeom gently took my chin with his hand and raised my face to meet his eyes.
"what's wrong love?" he rubbed my cheek with his thumb.
god here it comes, the tears.
the droplets streamed down my cheeks, "i'm sorry gyeom i just can't right now." i pushed his hand away and left the room to go to the bathroom.
i put on his clothes and took my own off. i rubbed my eyes and splashed water on my face.
i tried to concentrate on my breathing but it only got heavier.
the tears came again, and my breathing got worse.
i sat on the floor and traced the tiles with my finger and matched my breathing to each time i touched a corner.
i got up and splashed water on my face again, grabbed my clothes and left the bathroom.
gyeom's door was open a crack when i passed by.
we met eyes for a moment but didn't do anything.
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i sat on the living room couch as gyeoms smell consumed me.
his clothes reminded me of the nights he spent at my place.
i feel selfish, having had a panic attack and being rude all of a sudden.
i stood up from the couch and went to gyeom's room and gently knocked on the door.
"mm?"
i opened the door further and saw him with his head in his hands. he looked up at me.
he patted the spot next to him on the bed.
i made my way across the room and sat down.
"i'm sorry." i said.
"don't be, you were overwhelmed. i don't know why, but i know that's the case. it's okay, it happens." he shrugged and was about to put his hand on my thigh when he hesitated.
i took his hand and put it against mine to measure, mine were significantly smaller.
"how'd you know?" i removed my hand and let his hand fall in his lap.
"it used to happen to a lot of us in the group during our trainee days."
i nodded, "i'm sorry, it's just with everything going on, i'm not my best self. i'm a mess, i'm over analyzing everything. i'm truly grateful gyeom, thanks for letting me stay here." i turned and looked at him.
he turned to look at me, smiling tenderly, "anything for you."
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I've Transmigrated... with a Broken System
[Congratulations! You have completed the quest!] [Rewarding 13x Silver Coins.] [##ERROR##] [1x Melon has been placed in your inventory!] Renard sighed, "Not again..." Updates every two weeks minimum
8 238Lyra's Tale - a second chronicle of the Children of the Bear
Ambition. Lyra Bryndotter has it in spades. Plus the black heart and skills to achieve her goals. This is a chronicle of Lyra's fight to the top, reaching beyond what even her father aimed for. And Lyra the Tigress always gets what she wants and woe to anyone who tries to stop her. Please note the rating for graphic violence, torture, sexual content (including noncon), and abuse
8 187Supernaturals Untold
Being a famous actress, Camilla/Becca faces the biggest betrayal of her life by the people she least expected.All because of jealousy.She decides to end her life cause of the heart-shattering acts done to her.But is saved by a mysterious man.Little did she know that the item the man dropped in their encounter would change her life forever.It blessed her with unknown abilities and cursed her at the same time. She will have to face all the supernatural beings out there all because of that one item.
8 245Arcane Cycle
I never met my parents, but I have never regretted it.I have an awesome mentor, he has taken care of me since I remember. He is the only other person I know, but I have never felt the urge to meet someone else.I could live forever by his side... in his shadow, however, he told me that that wasn't a good thing. I have never experienced anything bad while I'm at his side, but at the same time I have deprived myself from experiencing the world itself.I don't think I need that.He says that is a must.I trust his judgement. I will go on a journey to find my own path. I will abandon my mentor's shadow and I will be a leaf that drifts in the wind freely. I will experience the world. How will be my journey? What will I encounter? Now that I think about it, I'm curious to find out.
8 198Eliot Ness for Mayor
An everyman tests his mettle when a Voodoo god, in the guise of a kindly crackpot, thrusts him back in time and into a violent riot. Ironworker Frank O'Brien digs his life: great wife, tight family, and a job he loves, raising skyscrapers for a firm whose owner he respects. Smooth going until his boss, the owner's grandson, stirs racial and labor tensions. Soon, Frank's fighting the good fight, and standing tall seems to work. He even manages a few allies until a Voodoo god mucks up the works, knocking Frank back to 1966 and into the center of Cleveland's Hough riots to test his mettle. Needless to say, getting back to see his little girl's youth orchestra recital's gonna be a bitch. ELIOT NESS FOR MAYOR is a short novel of magical-realist fiction, a stand-alone book in the Shantytown Cycle. Written for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), I will be posting revisions as I complete them and should be done by early 2022, though I am making major changes so the timing may be longer. This book is cross-posted on two websites: Wattpad and Royal Road. Both are reputable, high-quality sites. Do not trust this book on other websites. They "scrape" material from reputable sites, posting the stolen material as an original to lure users in, but contain links that include malicious code.
8 102Quick Transmigration with Female Lead Aura(MTL)
Machine translated novelAN: First of all, this novel is machine translated novel so it's really have a poor translation that can make your eye hurt and make you puke blood especially if you're good in English. The reason why I'm posting it is because I also want to read this novel but the translation in novel updates are too slow to update so I have no choice but to MTL it. If you don't like poor translated novel, I suggest that you search other books or you read this novel in novelupdates. I posted it for the sake of sharing good novel to read, I'm not being paid for this so I hope I wont read comments complaining to me about the translation being so bad or poor when I always put MTL on the title. Thank you.Jiang Nian used to be an actress. One day, she died and became a quester for the Lord God. Her task is to collect aura of a female lead and prevent each world from collapsing.It's just that every time there is a lot of twists and turns, however, the most troublesome thing for Jiang Nian is that once the female aura rises to 60, it won't rise anymore! What will Jiang Nian have to do to get a breakthrough?
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