• • •

Four and a Half Months Ago

"Youngjae! Are you here?!"

I stand up from the sound of Y/n's voice. She was knocking on my front door, sounding like she was about to cry.

I go to open the door and she crashes her body against mine. Tears were running down her cheeks as she hugs me.

"He broke up with me." She mutters into my chest.

"Jinyoung?" I question, looking down at her surprised and she nods.

"He wouldn't tell me why. I thought everything was going good, I don't know what went wrong." She speaks quietly, pulling away.

I finally close the door as she walks over to the couch. She sits down and stares at her knees, silently crying.

"Y/n..I'm sorry." I whisper, sitting down next to her.

"It's not your fault." She sighs, resting her head against my shoulder.

It is.

It is my fault, I'm the one who called him. I'm the one who upset him. But he needed to know the truth.

All these years, Jinyoung believed that it was Yugyeom who killed his dad. Yugyeom never told him the truth, about how I was the one who killed him.

He didn't want Jinyoung to hate me, so he took the blame instead. I was such a coward. If I had just told the truth, then none of these problems would've ever happened.

"Everything will get better, so don't cry." I give a guilty smile while rubbing her head, comfortingly.

"The truth will be revealed, soon."

• I •

Present Day

I wake up after receiving a text from Youngjae. He said that he's finally moving back to Seoul, later tonight.

Normally, I would be excited, but I just don't have the energy for it. My life has gone to shit after I moved here and Jisoo's death was the last straw.

I just want it to be over. I can't take anymore of this heartache, it just hurts too much.

Her memorial is today and Bambam is holding it at his house. Jennie came back early after hearing the news and I have no idea what I'm going to say to her.

After getting out of bed and fixing myself up, I found myself at Bambam's house. I held a blank expression as I walked into his living-room.

There weren't too many people here, but enough to give me anxiety. I didn't know how to interact with people after experiencing what I did.

Yugyeom walks over to me after seeing my arrival. He lets out a deep sigh before speaking.

"Y/n, are you sure you wanna be here?" He asks, noticing how tired and warn out I look.

My baggy eyes were more noticeable and I've lost so much weight after not being able to eat as much lately. It's gotten to the point that my bones are starting to poke out.

"How can you ask me that? She was my friend." I state in a snappy tone.

"I know that, but you don't look too good. Almost like you're sick." He tries to reason with me, but I held a sharp glare.

My jaw clenches as I think about Jisoo's words from the night at Jaebum's house.

Of course I'll go with you, you're my best friend.

She told me she would go to Japan with me to get the treatment. But now..it's all ruined.

"Look, I'm fine..nothing's wrong with me." I lie, feeling as if I'm about to pass out.

"Okay, but you gotta let me take you out later today." He smiles, ignoring my grim attitude.

"Sure," I agree, as the room begins to spin, "..I just need some air, first."

I rush to the bathroom without another word. I couldn't stand in that room any longer. If I fainted in-front of him, it would've revealed that something is actually wrong with me.

I burst into the bathroom and quickly close the door behind me. As I try catching my breath, I spot Jennie sitting on the floor.

She looks up, while holding her knees against her chest. Her eyes brimmed with tears at the site of me.

"She's really gone." She scoffs, looking back down at the floor.

I make my way on the ground and sit next to her. My head stops it's spinning as the bathroom was colder than the rest of the house.

"Jennie..I'm sorry." I apologize, but she just laughs, making I furrow my brows.

"For what? You're not the one who killed her." She says and her expression falters.

Her words made you think about it some more. She was right, I wasn't the one who killed Jisoo, but someone did.

Jinyoung.

My mind went back to the day at school when Jinyoung called me. He asked if he could come over to talk about Youngjae.

It had to have been Jinyoung, no one else would've killed her. Neither her or Jennie knew anything about the gang situation, she was innocent.

I remove the thought of him out of my mind as I'm suppose to be thinking about Jennie and supporting her through this tough time.

"We will get vengeance." I state, holding her hand tight.

"Even if we do, it won't change the fact that she's gone." She shakes her head, quickly wiping the tears that fell.

"I mean, it's my fault. Maybe, if I had stayed..if I hadn't of left. I could've stopped her from dying, I-I could've done something, Y/n. It's all my fault—I'm so stupi—" She rants as her face fills with streams of water.

I wrap my arms around her shoulders, hugging her close. I remember the way Kai comforted me about our parents..I want to do the same for Jennie.

"No, it's not. Don't blame yourself for something you had no control of." I speak sternly, "She's in a better place..I know it."

"I hope you're right." She sniffs, wiping her nose.

Suddenly, the door swings open and Bambam walks into the room, shocked to see us sitting on the floor.

"What are you two whores doing in here?" He questions, trying to lighten the mood, but he only made himself more upset.

"Come here." Jennie grabs his hand and yanks him down, as well.

"I love you both." I smile weakly, pulling them into a group hug.

"Neither of you can die, too, okay?" Bambam says in a sorrowful tone.

"We won't." Jennie states, resting her head against mine.

I stare down at my lap after hearing Bambam's words. I don't want to disappoint him, but I don't have much long.

I'm getting weaker and weaker everyday. And seeing as I'm the main cause to most of my friends problems..I think I'll be relieved to set them free after I'm gone.

"I promise."

• II •

"An amusement park?"

"What? We haven't been to one in a while." Yugyeom says while pulling me along.

He had already paid for out tickets and was just happy to see me arrive on time.

"..ooh, lets ride that." He states in a child-like manner, pointing at a big roller-coaster.

"Excuse me, what?!" I exclaim, seeing how huge it is.

"Come on, it'll be fun." He grins, heading straight for it.

"Fine, but if I throw up, I'm gonna be upset." I give in to his request.

After waiting in line for a few minutes, the worker leads us to our seats. He pulls the restraints over both of our shoulders until it clicked.

He checks everyone's seats, making sure it was all safe and good to go. He walks back over to the machine and pulls the lever down, looking bored.

I grab onto the bars that were pressed against my chest as the seats slowly begin to lift up.

"I don't think I can do this." I panic, swinging my legs in fear.

"Calm down, Y/n, this is gonna be fun." Yugyeom reassures, grabbing my hand.

The ride suddenly stops and I look down at the ground, watching all the people walk around.

"Wait, why did it stop?" I look back at Yugyeom with my brows creased.

"It's suppose to do this." He laughs at my worried face.

"Oh, oka—"

The ride drops down without any warning and screams could be heard.

I shut my eyes, not wanting to look at how fast we're going. I squeeze Yugyeom's hand, feeling all the sharp turns hitting.

"Oh fuck, we're going to die!" I scream, and he continues to laugh at my extreme reaction.

Another minutes goes by and the ride finally comes to a stop. I finally pull my eyes open and sigh in relief after seeing we're back at starting point.

Yugyeom unbuckles the restraints for me and we head for the exit. While wiping the nervous sweat off my hands, I look up at him like he's crazy.

"I'm never doing that again." I declare, trying to catch a proper breath.

"Why not?" He pouts, "That was so exciting."

"More like horrifying." I correct him.

"Shh, no complaining on our date." He demands, playfully.

"Yeah, yeah." I roll my eyes.

After spending a few hours on this date, it was already dark out. The rides were still going, but we were getting tired.

We make our way to the exit, but stop at the loud sound of fireworks blaring behind us.

We turn around to watch them explode in the air, creating all kinds of different shapes, "Wow..they're beautiful."

I stare at them in awe as it's been so long since I've seen fireworks up close in person. The site was so hypnotizing.

"I'm gonna miss you." I whisper under my breath and Yugyeom turns to me.

"Hmm?"

"Oh, nothing." I smile sadly.

I slowly look up at him, tugging on the sleeve of his shirt. He turns to fully face me and gives me his full attention.

"Yugyeom.."

"Yeah?"

I suppose, this is my last chance to say it.

"I love you."

His brows raise in shock from my confession. I've never said those three words to him before, even though he's said it countless times to me.

"Y/n, I—"

"Look, before you say anything..I just wanna clear some things up." I cut him off, "I know that in the beginning we've had some rough times together, but I finally get this feeling I've been having towards you."

"I may have not understood it before, but I do now. I have come to terms with the fact that I've always had feelings for you." I sigh, feeling my heart beating a million miles per hour, "I love you, not Jinyoung, not Mark, or anyone else..just you."

I stare at him timidly, waiting for a response. He looked speechless which made me feel a bit self conscious.

"I love you, too." He speaks at ease, knowing that I really love him.

He gently brushes the hair out of my face, staring at me with a tender gaze. His eyes squint with joy as a smile fell upon his features.

He slowly leans in, connecting his lips with mine. The kiss was warm and affectionate as I grip his arm.

More fireworks roar in the background and he slides his arms around my waist, pulling close.

My arms make their way around his neck as I stand on my toes to reach him better. This was the most careful he's ever been with me.

It was as if I was made of glass and he had to be as gentle as possible, being sure not to break me.

He pulls away and grins down at me, "Let's go home."

• III •

After making it back to Yugyeom's apartment, we ended up just hanging out for a little while.

We were watching tv and drinking wine, which surprisingly got me a little tipsy. I'm kind of shocked as I can usually handle my alcohol really well.

Now, I'm sitting on my knees at the end of his bed and I raise my arms in the air. He stares at me in confusion, causing me to smile

"Come over here." I yank him in-front of me and he sat on his knees, too.

I raise my arms again and he realizes what I was doing. He grins, looking back at my face and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Do it." I demand, trying to keep a straight face.

He scoots closer with a teasing expression and pulls my shirt over my head. I take it from his hands and toss it aside.

He raises his arms, mocking me and I quickly yank his shirt over his head.

He laughs at my sucky attempt of removing his shirt and I couldn't stop giggling. He pulls it all the way off and tosses it to the side, as well.

He stares at me in a loving way and I place my hand against his cheek. He rests his hand on top of mine, leaning into my touch.

He places little pecks down my arm and I smile at the ticklish feeling. I gently pull his face closer to mine, kissing him.

He repeatedly places small kisses on my lips over and over again, making me laugh.

I lean back to stare at him silently while caressing his face with my thumbs. When he suddenly licks my cheek.

"Hey," I whine, crinkling my nose in disgust.

"Sorry, you're just too cute." He says, shamelessly.

"Same goes for you." I state, and push him against the mattress.

He lays flat on his back as I sit on top of him, straddling his hips. He looks up at me, quirking a brow and I lean down, kissing against his jaw.

I left love marks all over his chest and neck before moving to kiss his lips again. He holds me close, returning the favor.

His tongue explores the inside of my mouth and my hands move down to his belt buckle.

Just as I was about to unhook it, my phone starts ringing. I ignore it the first two times, but when it rings for a third time I groan in annoyance.

I break away from his kiss and snatch my phone just as it stops ringing again. I notice Youngjae was spamming me with a bunch of texts.

"Shit!" I curse, standing up from the bed.

"What is it?" Yugyeom asks with a frown, sitting up.

"Youngjae needs me to pick him up." I sigh, putting my shirt back on.

"Do you need me to drive you?" He asks, leaning against his elbows.

"It's okay, I'll just get a cab." I decline his offer, "I won't be gone long."

"Okay, just be safe." He stares in disappointment and I nod.

I walk back over, placing a short kiss against his lips one last time.

"I'll be right back."

I quickly exit his house after putting my shoes on. I head to the location Youngjae said he would arrive at and it turned out to be in the park.

I see a car drives over and Youngjae steps out with a suitcase in his hands. I squint my eyes, already irritated by his presence.

"If you had a car, why couldn't you just drive yourself?" I glare at him for interrupting Yugyeom and I's little session.

"Cause, I need to know where I'm gonna be staying." He grins smugly and I roll my eyes.

"You should've came earlier then, it's almost 1am." I purse my lips, shoving his shoulder once I reached him.

"I know, but my whole purpose of living is to annoy you." He states teasingly and I try my best not to hit him.

"You're trash."

"You still love me, though." He smiles and crosses his arms over his chest, sticking his tongue out.

"Of course, I—"

Suddenly, a loud gunshot fires and blood splatters across my face. My eyes widen and Youngjae falls against me.

I immediately catch him, carefully falling against the concrete as I hold him on my lap.

He grasps his chest, wincing in pain. Blood pours from his back as he got shot from behind. Thankfully, the bullet didn't hit his heart.

I look up and from afar, I see a man pointing his white gun at me. He wore a black cap with two rings pierced into it that covered his face.

My heartbeat was accelerating, but the man slowly moves his gun and turns to walk away. I couldn't tell who it was, but I was angry.

"Y/n.." Youngjae calls my name, gaining my attention, "It was me."

"What? What was you?" I question, not understanding what he was saying.

"I killed Jinyoung's dad, not Yugyeom. Everything that happened was because of me." He reveals.

"Shh, don't talk. I'm going to get you help." I whisper, noticing him struggle to get his words out.

My hands tremble in fear as I dial 911. He was going to be okay. I know he's not going to die..he can't.

"Tell Yugyeom..I'm sorry."

• • •