"I stay up all night. Tell myself I'm alright. Baby, you're just harder to see than most." —Sasha Sloan.

••

"I am sorry, but are your hands working?" I look back at Leon, who still has the giant grin plastered across his face, long hands shielded in the pockets of his black trousers. "Just trying to understand why you can't knock before opening my door. Next time, I pray to God you catch me in the act of masturbating or something."

His full-toned laughter echoes throughout the house as he follows me toward my kitchen, finding a seat on one of the high stools and tapping his fingers against the counter. "So, what was that Nik?"

"What was what?" My brows pull together as I grab a bottle of Masseto from the silver cabinet.

"The schoolgirl lying in your bed."

I pour portions of the dark red liquid into two martini glasses before walking over to where he's seated. I slide one to him and keep the other as I sit in front of him.

"She's my student. Kelly Young. Sure you've heard me spoke of her before." I keep my eyes on him as I take a sip of the drink. This red wine is one of my favorites, merited by its rich and long finish and its smoothness in texture. Tonight, I am craving for something that can hopefully filtrate my mind. I am feeling oddly unsettled.

"Ahh." He bobs his head slowly. "The little talkative one that hangs out with that football boy."

"Mm."

"But why was your hand under her shirt?" His smirk returns as he brings his glass to his lips.

"She had a stomachache, Leon. So, I was trying to help her. She may be my most talkative student...but she's one that I quite fancy. I take a liking to her." I admit.

"What kind of liking?" He narrows his eyes, and when my answer delays, he sits up straight and rubs his lips. "I get the feeling I interrupted a moment. She looked...flustered when I switched the lights on."

I stare at my glass sitting on the counter, thinking back to what just happened and how her small finger felt stroking my hand.

It did feel good. I am a man; it's unavoidable, and Kelly does have the body of a woman—to be frank. She has thick thighs, her stomach is flat, and her waists are almost non-existent. Even though she has a very small chest, she is quite the head-turner.

I don't think she understands how...distracting her figure is. Admittedly, her rear is quite prominent. I am not watching her; it's just hard to miss. But I don't think she's aware of this because she would casually bend over to grab her pencil or something, completely throwing me off my entire lesson.

But beyond doubt, her attractive physique is not the only admiring quality about her. Kelly has a tiny, cute face, and her big chocolate eyes resemble brown gemstones. They light up at the mention of food or if she's proud about something. Allusion being earlier today when she was playing with that pill on her tongue. It was interesting to see her excited about something that minor, but it was also very uncomfortable for me. My member reacted to it entirely without my permission, and she was so oblivious to the effect it had on me since she kept on doing it.

That's the thing. She's too innocent, too pure, genuinely unaware of the positions she's putting a person in. I have to keep my head on straight whenever I am around her.

I am not sure why she touched my hand earlier, but I can understand that she's human, and anyone would react that way to someone touching them the way I did. It's justified. And though I liked our short moment of contact just now, it doesn't mean I have amatory feelings for her...

I shift a little—suddenly feel discomforted for some reason. "She is sick, so that could explain it."

Leon shrugs his broad shoulders. "I am not assuming anything, but...are you sure you aren't having an affair with this girl? I notice you pay more attention to her than your other students. You talk about her a lot too."

"Leon." I sigh and finally look up at him. "You set me up on plenty of blind dates, none of which I have ever found an interest in."

"That's because they are all either rich or snobby. I have to admit." He opens his hands.

"Facts, but are you telling me that I would bypass all those women and have an affair with my eighteen-year-old student?"

He shrugs lightly, resting an elbow on the counter and resting two fingers beneath his chin. "I hear you, but this girl repeated the twelfth grade, right? Which means she would be in her first year of college this year."

I blink my eyes. I am getting irritated. "And so?"

"So...she's technically not a 'child.' Come on."

"No, the point is I can't have romantic feelings for any of my students; it's everything I don't believe in." I take another drink, needing it right now more than anything. Why won't he let this go? Fuck.

"I know, I know. But you'll never know."

"Never know what?" I square my shoulders.

"What lies ahead."

"I am not interested in dating an eighteen-year-old girl."

He reaches over to pat my shoulder, smiling. "Alright. Alright."

I scoff, shaking my head. "Kelly Young of all students..."

Leon squints his eyes as he takes another swig from his glass, quickly removing it to satisfy his curiosity and annoy me further. "What do you mean?"

"She's...I just think she needs a bit more grooming. I can't see her in that light. It's not right. She has a lot to learn."

"A lot to learn? Elaborate."

"Kelly appears mature outwardly. She has a woman's body. I have to admit. But she acts a bit younger than her age. Kelly isn't exactly...the most mature of persons."

"So what? You could groom her." Leon smiles, and I am getting to understand that he's watching too many anime and reading too many X-rated mangas.

"Stop watching those perverted anime." I point at him, and he laughs, throwing his head back.

"Nik, it's not about anime. It's just facts. You can teach her a lot of things."

"I am here to teach History, not to groom a little girl into a woman, Leon."

"You're right." He presses his palms on the counter. "Swing it by Ms. Smith then. She's a P.D teacher."

I shake my head and drain the last from my glass. It's already bad enough that I can't forget her stroking my hand, and now he's filling my head with all these deviancies.

I am trying not to see her in that lustful way. Nothing will come out of it.

••

Mr. Todd has not returned to the room yet, and it's deeply troubling me. What if Mr. Leon tells people at school that he saw us in a room together, his hand under my shirt with the room lights off? Hell, it could ruin his career. I could ruin his career. Maybe I shouldn't have come here.

I bite at my nails in severe perplexity, and when I am unable to endure the unease, I remove the covers and silently get down from the bed. I can feel the coolness of the floor through my socks as I take soft steps toward the door.

Wrapping my palm around the cold knob, I carefully open it and peer out into the aisle. Their deep, low voices traverse from the kitchen area, and I shut the door behind me and walk out to the end of the hallway.

I put my body behind the wall where I have a perfect view of the kitchen island and in a good range of hearing their conversation.

Eavesdropping. I know it's wrong, but my discomfiture won't bid me not to. I need to know if everything is alright.

The living room is not illuminated, so parts of Mr. Leon's lean silhouette is hidden in the dark, while the glow from the kitchen lights emits on my teacher's face. They are each holding a glass of what looks like wine, the shaft of brightness revealing the smeary red fluid in it.

However, my regrets about leaving the room appear after Mr. Leon asks the question:

"What do you mean?"

"She's...I just think she needs a bit more grooming. I can't see her in that light. It's not right. She has a lot to learn."

My eyebrows furrow, and I tighten my hold on the wall. Are they talking about me?

"A lot to learn? Elaborate."

I watch as Mr. Todd's body heaves in a sigh, and I have a feeling I won't like what his response will be.

"Kelly appears mature outwardly. She has a woman's body. I have to admit. But she acts a bit younger than her age. Kelly isn't exactly...the most mature of persons."

I bite my lip. Well, that hurts.

"So what? You could groom her." Mr. Leon drags on, and I just want to tell him to stop speaking. To end this mortifying conversation.

"Stop watching those perverted anime's." Is Mr. Todd's reply.

I shut my eyes and lower my head. I am only hurting myself by listening to this, but I can't seem to move.

"Nik, it's not about anime. It's just facts. You can teach her a lot of things."

"I am here to teach History, not to groom a little girl into a woman, Leon."

"You're right." Mr. Leon flattens his palms on the counter. "Swing it by Ms. Smith then. She's a P.D teacher."

My eyes begin to sting. I know it's the truth, but I hate hearing it from his mouth. I hate knowing that he thinks of me that way.

A loud bark causes me to jerk, and I spin around to see Celia standing behind me. "Fuck." I whisper, peeking to see the two men now looking in the direction of the stairs.

"God, Celia. I didn't take you as a snitch." I mutter, and she barks again, and again, causing me to bite my lip in a panic, pressing my finger to my mouth. "I am not spying on your master, I swear. I am just looking. I thought you liked me; why are you acting up?"

She growls loudly, and I am getting to understand that she's genuinely trying to ride me out. This dog...

"Go away. Shoo!" I whisper. I hear metal creaking against the floorboard, and I bury my hand in my hair. I poke an eye out, seeing Mr. Todd now moving toward the staircase.

Fucking hell!

Celia keeps barking like a mad dog, so upon first thought, I sprint off to the nearest room insight, quickly opening it and locking myself inside.

Pressing my back against the cold door, I glance around to see that I am now standing in the bathroom that Mia had instructed me to on my first visit here. Still white and clean as ever.

I intake a deep breath of relief, but what I just overheard kicks in a fresh.

In his eyes, I am nothing but a childish student of his, an unripe apple on the tree. The premature one that everyone leaves behind because it just won't be sweet. It's too young, too unfit.

I don't know why I care about what he thinks of me, though. If it were a few weeks ago, I wouldn't be this hurt. But the weird transitional feelings I have been experiencing are forcing me to feel this way. I can't help it. Secretly, I want him to see me as mature.

I turn on the tap and bend over, splashing some of the cool water onto my face. I straighten up and look at my reflection in the mirror through the droplets dripping from my lashes. I am disappointed in the person looking back at me. I wish I weren't like this.

The door loudly knocks, jolting me from my head. "Kelly Young?"

Mr. Todd—scratch that. Mr. Asshole.

I turn the pipe off and blow air from my cheeks. Spinning to the door, I enclose my hand around the knob and open it, encountering the quizzical eyes of my history teacher.

He tilts his head questioningly, and I break eye contact and point my eyes to Celia, that is right next to his trousers with her tongue hanging from her head. She's suddenly so well-behaved. This is why you never trust bitches.

"Are you okay?" He checks, and I nod shortly. Unable to forget what he said about me downstairs. I shouldn't become flattered by his acts of care. He's just being a teacher. I mean, what other reason would he lookout for an immature girl like me?

I am far from a woman, in his opinion.

"Oh. Are you still in pain?"

"I am fine." My voice sounds feisty to my hearing, so he must have heard it too. I was kind of hoping he'd point it out, but he brushes right over it.

"Okay. Mr. Leon will take you home."

What?

My forehead creases. "Mr. Leon?"

"Yes. He lives in scheme one." He shoves his hands in his pockets. "Is there a problem?"

Yes, dude. Jesus, fuck you.

"No. Not at all." I croak out, dropping my eyes to the floor and feeling as my heart follows suit.

"Okay..."

I lift my gaze again, and he's silently studying me. Deep chocolate circles boring through mine. Undressing my soul—at least that's what it feels like. I don't know why he keeps doing that.

"Nik."

We both look to see a smiling Mr. Leon approaching us. "Ikaya just called me. She says you keep ignoring her messages. She's trying to get through to you." He chuckles.

It's that name again. Ikaya. Who's she?

"Oh." Mr. Todd taps the pocket of his sweatpants before grabbing his phone from it. The screen flashes with an incoming call, and he picks it up. "Kaya." He begins to walk away. "No, I was just busy." My eyes follow him as he pushes his room door open and disappears inside before closing it behind him.

And I guess that's his goodbye.

Mr. Leon is still standing in his spot with a pleasant smile on his face. I tear my gaze away from the closed door and look over at him as he lifts his shoulders. "Hello."

"Hi..." I mutter.

"So, ready to head home?"

I nod my head, slumping my gaze to my feet in disappointment. I wanted Mr. Todd to take me home. "Yeah..."

"Alrighty. Go get your bag then."

I make my way toward his bedroom while Mr. Leon leans his back against the transparent railings, taking his cellphone from his pocket as he waits for me.

I knock at the door, and my instructor's voice comes immediately. "Enter."

Skeptically, I open it to find him lying back on his bed with his cellphone pressed to his ear. One of his legs is bent at the knees while the other is laid flat. He seems to prefer the dark since his lights are off again, but I can still make out his sparkling orbs as our gazes meet. He looks so alluring even in the darkness.

I clear my throat and stop in my tracks awkwardly, pointing to my bag next to him. "My backpack."

He nods his head, permitting me to collect it.

Walking over to his side, I grab my belongings while faintly making out the feminine tone on the opposite end of the call.

I adjust my bag on my shoulders and turn my gaze to him again, fooling with the leather straps. He mouths: 'see you at school tomorrow,' and I nod my head at his silent farewell.

I deliberately walk slowly toward his door, trying to eavesdrop on his conversation for the second time tonight. Apparently, my feelings weren't hurt enough the first time. I need something stronger, eh?

A low chuckle comes from him. "What? Yeah, I saw the pictures you sent me, Kay. Uh-huh, they were nice. Yeah, I think you sent them before, though."

I sink my teeth in the corner of my cheek as I open the door and step out of the room, closing it after me. Maybe a bit too hard.

Mr. Leon looks up from his cellphone. "Ready?"

"Yeah." I walk ahead, and he follows me.

••

I stare at the window of Mr. Todd's room while in the front seat of Mr. Leon's grey Benz, waiting for him to start up his engine and take me home. Through the cool blue curtains draped over the transparent glass, I can see the speck of light presumably coming from his cellphone, which means he's still on his bed speaking with Ikaya. Whoever she is.

Sigh. Why am I being petty over my teacher? I must be losing my mind.

🎶FUCK WHAT I SAID, IT DON'T MEAN—🎶

"Shit." The chemistry teacher quickly turns his radio off, putting an end to the explicit music that was just booming through the car. "So sorry I forgot to change this C.D."

I divert my gaze from the window and over to him as he sends me an abashed smile. I bite my lip to contain my laughter as I look away from him, shaking my head.

"Let me try this one." He mutters to himself, sliding in a new music choice. A soulful melody fills the car and I swing my face back to him as I begin to feel a little talkative. It's my only remedy in delaying my overthinking about Mr. Todd.

"I like the girl's version of the song you just turned off. 'I Don't Want You Back.'"

His eyes grow wide, and I giggle softly.

"You should not be listening to these explicit contents." He says playfully.

"Mm. How old are you?" I cock my head.

"Twenty-five." He starts up his engine. "And you?"

"I am pretty sure you already know..." I mutter, looking ahead of me now. Neatly hinting to him that I overheard their earlier conversation. He picks up on it and squints his eyes as he steers away from the curb.

"And I would know how?"

"I am sure Mr. Todd told you..." I stare at the floor while fooling with my knee-length sock, pulling it further up my leg.

"Oh." He's quiet for a second, and then he starts talking again. "He didn't offensively mean any of that. I mean, he likes you—as a student—he wants what's best for you. I know Nikolai, he doesn't pay attention to someone unless he fancies them, and he seems to pay a lot of attention to you."

I turn my eyes to the window, staring at the passing houses as he begins to traverse out of Scheme Four. The night is windy and quiet, as usual.

"Okay...um, what you saw earlier, don't tell anyone at Camber. We weren't doing anything." I look over at him.

A small smile drags his lips, uncovering a small dent below his mouth. "I know you guys weren't doing anything."

"Okay." I purse my lips. "As long as you know that. And if you do tell anyone, I am going to tell them that you play explicit music in your car. Raw, explicit music. I Don't Want You Back, to be specific."

He laughs throatily, and the sound is so deep it appears like a massive thunder. "Ahh, okay."

"Love that we have arrived at a decision. Well...my name is Kelly." I smile a little. "Although you probably already know that too..."

"Yes, I do." His lips quirk up, and I bob my head.

"Mm. Was nice talking to you." I turn my face back to my window, propping my cheek on my palm as I continue to watch the scenery on the outside. I can see Mr. Leon smiling and shaking his head through the tinted glass.

Soon, he pulls up to the curb of my gates without me giving him instructions. This surprises me and I twist my neck to look at him mistrustingly. "Should I be worried about this, Mr. Leon?"

He smiles, amused. "Worried about what, Kelly?"

"The fact that you know where I live without me giving you directions." I squint my eyes. "That's very stalker-like."