"Only you know the way that I break." —Billie Eilish.

I jinxed my PMS.

I am not supposed to be having these stomach cramps until a week, but seemingly the frustration with the new feelings toward my educator has kicked it off earlier than expected.

And now, my recent emotional antics about my thighs being too thick finally makes perfect sense. I am insecure about my legs, but I am not the type to cry about them in the presence of someone—Mr. Todd of all people. Hence breaking down was just a symptom of PMS, and only served the purpose of signaling that Mother Nature plans on visiting me earlier this time around.

Still, I have to go to school, despite my mood swings and the occasional pricks in my abdomen.

I call my menstrual cycle: 'the reverse.' Why? Unlike most girls, I feel excruciating pain a week before it begins, but when it finally arrives, it's as well-behaved as interviewees in a waiting room.

Even the mere ground beneath my feet annoys me as I make my way downstairs, finding my mom placing a bowl of milk on the kitchen's island.

"Good morning, Kelly."

"Morning," I mutter as I find my seat around the table, hooking my feet around the chair's legs. "Is there any chocolate left, 'ma?"

"No, sweetheart, have some cereal. I need to take you to school now."

"Good morning!" My annoying sibling walks by me with his rucksack hanging off his shoulder, lifting a hand to ruffle my hair playfully. I hiss and shove him away from me, and he laughs as he stumbles backward.

"Piss off." I trail my hands down my hair. He knows how difficult it is to get it even remotely decent in the mornings, and today I lack the energy for my curls.

"Someone's in a crabby mood." He grumbles as he grabs an apple from the fruit basket, noisily biting into it. Even that annoys me. I glare at him from over my shoulders, and he pauses in the middle of chewing.

"What am I doing?" He groans.

"Remove yourself from behind me."

He walks off while shaking his head, and my mom only smiles, easily discerning the cause of my moping. I don't think anyone in this world knows me as much as she does. She can read me like an open book. Half of the time, I despise it. But the remnant moments, I appreciate her ministrations.

"Want Mc. Donald's this morning?" She's trying to cheer me up, and it barely works.

"No appetite. Can you buy me chocolate?"

She sighs. "You need to eat food, not chocolate." She places the carton of colored rings in front of me, pointing to it. "Eat, please."

I scrunch my nose and reach for the parcel, emptying some of the cereal into my bowl.

"Later, mom, bye Kelly!" Kevin calls over his shoulders, slithering to the side so Caroline can step past him.

She brushes against his torso unintentionally, and it doesn't miss my attention the way he ogles her lustfully.

She notices it too and lifts an eyebrow, demandingly. "What?"

"Nothing." He smirks as his figure disappears from the doorway.

K then...

She frowns at his weird behavior before closing the door after him, waving cheerfully at us. "Good morning, Aunt Kimmy; good morning, Kelly!"

"Good morning, Caroline." My mom beams.

While I dolefully swirl my spoon in the roasted grains, my dad enters the kitchen, fixing his tie with his usual hard countenance. My mom goes to place a kiss on his cheek, but he neatly dodges it, causing my brows to snap together in a frown. She plays it off by pretending she was on her way to the fridge, and that deeply bothers me.

What's up with them?

"Ready to go, Kel?" She forces a smile as she walks back over to the table.

I nod my head, watching my dad as he lifts the mug of coffee to his mouth, taking a slurp before emptying the rest of the contents into the sink.

"I'll take the Honda. Have a great day." He says as he walks past us, leaving the house with his duffel bag in hand.

My father has always been distant, but it feels as though he's slowly stepping it up a notch. Or maybe it's my menses that are creating these thoughts in my head.

"When Kayla wakes up, have her ready for her clinic appointment, alright? I already told Doctor Jen that you will be coming." My mom tells Caroline, who nods to the instruction while typing something on her cellphone. "Let's go, Kelly. I have to be at work soon."

I throw out the soggy cereal into the sink before leaving the kitchen behind my mom.

••

Why on earth did I come to school today?

My stomach decides to act up when I have a history class in less than thirty minutes. I should probably head home, but I had already missed the devil's class last Friday and I wouldn't want to lose out on another one of his lessons. He was lenient the first time; I don't know if his patience will run out on me the second time. The day is almost over; I just have to bear the pain until it is.

Periods. Periods. I am not aiming to be ungrateful, but I am just trying to understand where God's head was at when he made this annoyingly natural occurrence.

I grab my history textbook from my locker before closing it and coming face to face with Peter Carson. He's leaning against the opposite one with a hand tucked into his green quarterback jersey, a crooked grin dangling on his face.

What on earth did I see in him? Now that I have found out what an ass he is, it's like he suddenly resembles a gremlin. His eyes are so far apart, and is that mucus in his nostrils? Ew.

"Saw your little dance the other day; I was walking past that classroom," he begins, smiling his face off while adjusting the strap of his bag on his shoulder. "Didn't know you could move your waists like that." And he whistles.

Boy, if you don't go away...

I puff air from my cheeks and press a hand to my forehead. "Can you step a little to the side?"

His eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Huh?"

"To the side. Just a little to the left."

He slowly obliges, his grin becoming less prominent by the second.

"Good, yeah, thank you." I fake a smile as I make my way down the hall, leaving him frowning as he looks back at my retreating figure.

Blame it on my PMS, baby.

I am extremely moody as I walk into class, my 'resting-bitch-face' in full mode while I crash in my seat, perching my head on my arms.

Derrick glances over at me from his cellphone. "Hey, you alright?"

I raise a hand toward him, making an 'okay' gesture with my fingers. "Just peachy, bro." I close my eyes, and without even realizing it, I have dozed away into slumber.

••

A not-so-subtle nudge of my arm jerks me awake, and I peer up with squinted eyes, making out Mr. Todd's face while the class loudly giggles in the background.

I use the back of my hand to wipe my lips, but I am not as nervous as I'd always be when caught sleeping by him. I didn't eat a proper lunch, just some chocolate bars I bought from the snack machine, so I am now paying the consequences.

"Stayed up all night twerking?" Is his first remark, and the class laughs.

I sigh and force myself to sit upright, rubbing away the sleep marks formed along my arm. I look up, and he's still standing at my desk with a hand jammed into his pocket.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I am fine," I grumble.

He stares at me for a short while before turning away to continue with his class. "Try to stay awake, Kelly. Yeah?" He looks back at me, and I nod weakly.

However, in less than a minute, my mind has become absent once again as I stare at a scribbled graffiti on the wooden desk. The faded lines become blurry as my eyes begin to get dim. Unable to withstand the fatigue any longer, I place my head on my arms—not caring if Mr. Todd is in the middle of his lesson. Surprisingly, he doesn't bother me, and I sleep the entire session away.

Class finally comes to an end, and Derrick pokes my arm as he stands next to my head, adjusting his bag onto his shoulders. "I have a class. So, I'll see you in homeroom."

I nod and stretch my limbs, glancing around as students pack up their resources to leave.

Next is Derrick's slender fingers trailing through my hair, comfortingly. "You alright? You seemed sick all day."

I glance up to see Mr. Todd watching us from his desk, and I subtly move away from Derrick's affection, recalling the remark he made about us 'making love' during his lessons.

"I'm fine. It won't kill me." I reply, and he smiles.

"Mm. But you didn't eat lunch, so it's probably more serious than I thought. Knowing how much you love food." And he pinches my cheek, causing me to groan and push his hand away.

Don't! Mr. Todd is watching!

"I'll be in Room 203 if you need me." He's caressing my face now. God, stawwp. "See you later."

I send him a stiff smile as he begins to make his way out the door along with some other students. As I get up from my chair, a rush of dizziness hits me, and I shut my eyes for a second, flashing my head. Wow.

"Kelly Young."

I look over at my teacher through tired eyes as he calls me over with a gesture of his forefinger. I discreetly sigh and take my bag up, lazily holding it in my hand as I stroll up to him.

I resist the urge to seek support from the rim of his desk. Fatigue, vertigo, and stomach cramps are a bad combination.

"You slept through my entire lesson." He leans back in his chair, crossing his arms against his chest. "Care to tell me why?"

I swallow hard as cold sweat breaks out on my forehead. "I'm just not feeling well today."

"Did you have lunch?"

I shake my head, and his face forms a frown.

"Why?"

"I am not hungry."

He inclines his head. "I find that odd. It doesn't miss my attention how elated you get at the mention of food."

A wave of vertigo strikes again, this time stronger than before, and I grope my forehead as my other hand clutches onto his desk.

He narrows his eyes. "You alright?"

"Ye-yes, I think—" I lose my footing, but Mr. Todd is fast as he stands from his chair so that I fall against his chest.

The scent of his body is different today, and his shirt feels soft and gentle against my skin. The last thing I make out is his faint voice asking me if I am alright before I fall into unconsciousness.

••

My eyes flutter open to the scent of cleaning detergents and the faded voices of two people, conversing in the lobby area of the nurse's office. Grimacing at the slight pain in my head, I try to sit upright while listening to the exchange of dialogue on the outside.

"It's not severe at all. All girls go through it. It's normally a week or two before the starting of their periods. I spoke with her when she woke up earlier, it seems she didn't have a heavy breakfast, so that's why she fainted. She'll be alright."

Nurse Finn.

"Oh, I see. Will she need any medications?"

Mr. Todd! Fuck, I forgot he was the one who took me here.

"Maybe some menstrual pills for energy and pain; two capsules will do for now. When she wakes up, she would need to eat something to take them."

"As long as she'll be alright then."

He sounds as if he cares about me. I curl my lips. He's just putting on a show so he can hopefully get teacher of the year.

"Yes, sir. She will be fine. When girls are at this stage in their menstrual cycle, they tend to be more tired than usual, especially if they have not been eating much. This is called Premenstrual Syndrome, and it can occur a few weeks before her period begins with symptoms such as..."

I roll my eyes. Why does she feel the need to give him a full run down? He is not my guardian for heaven's sake! It's already embarrassing enough that I fainted!

I hear light footsteps approaching the section I am in, and I throw myself against the bed and shut my eyes, pretending to be asleep. I don't know why I feel the need to do that, though. Yeah...I am starting to realize that I am probably not a sane person.

I hear the curtain as it pulls away, and his mild cologne dominates the compact room, transported by the cool air conditions. I can see his silhouette from my closed eyelids as he nears me, pulling a chair up to the bedside before sitting.

I wonder, will he sit and romantically watch me like one of those Korean dramas where the girl gets hurt and the guy sits by her bed and be like: 'don't die, without my permission.' That would be nice if—

"I know you're not sleeping, Kelly."

Well, damn. Couldn't you let a girl dream, sir?

My eyes crack open to see him staring down at me with his signature poker face in place, fit arms crossed against his torso. I ignore the way his muscles are bulging at the action and focus on his eyes, which are even more bewitching under the golden lights of the room.

My cheeks flush, and I slowly draw the covers up to my face, only allowing my eyes to be viewable.

"Not eating breakfast was very unwise, Ms. Young." He begins, and I bite my lip.

"My mom was running late; I didn't have the time, and I lack the appetite to—"

He uncoils his arms and brings his body forward, awarding me with his delicate fragrance as he stares into my face. I gulp. He's way too close.

Thankfully, the sheet is hiding my cheeks because they are now tinting to the same color as his lips.

"Never do that again, understood?"

I blink under his gaze. "Y-yes, sir."

He resumes his previous distance as he eases up off his rear to take his wallet from his pocket. "I spoke to Ms. Finn, letting her know that you cannot stay here for the rest of the day. You need to head home and get some rest. She'll give you some medication before you leave, so you'll need to have something first. What would you like to eat?"

"I'm not hungry—"

He shoots me a look, and I sink into the mattress. "Chocolate is fine."

He lifts an eyebrow. "Chocolate? Chocolate's not food, and what did I say about eating sweets?"

"I know, but it makes me feel better..." I mutter.

He sighs. "Well, after you eat chocolate, you'll have to have something heavier. Chicken soup."

I make a face, sticking my tongue out of my head in disgust. Mr. Todd gawks at me in amazement, and I suck it back in, bashfully running it along the corner of my mouth instead.

"I just...don't like soup."

"Well, you're drinking it today. You didn't have breakfast, so you'll need something hot. Greasy food won't cut it. I'll go get one at the Canteen for you." And he gets up and leaves the room again, closing the door after him.

Now that he's gone, I am finally able to breathe properly. I remove the covers from my face and inhale a deep breath, suddenly feeling hot despite the chilled atmosphere. I use a hand to fan myself. It's PMS; that's what's causing this weird heatwave. It's totally not because he's attractive or anything. I am certain.

••

I lift the spicy bowl of soup to my head again, my eyes gliding to him as he leans back in his chair, staring at me emotionlessly.

Why does he feel the need to watch me until I finish every single drop?! Doesn't he have a class to teach?!

At this moment, he resembles a great king of the ancient days of Egypt, ogling his peasants on a huge golden throne. The way his arms are folded and his legs are splayed. I find his man-spreading attractive, for some reason. PMS; it's creating all these silly thoughts in my head.

But with him sitting there quietly and regarding me this way, I can't ignore the discomfort it's providing. I blink my eyes awkwardly, and he lifts his brow. A habit of his I notice.

"Um, Mr. Todd..." I remove the container, wiping my lips with the back of my hand. "Do you have a class to teach right now?"

"No. I am off for the rest of the day. Is that empty?"

"Yeah..."

He takes the bowl from me and looks in it, and then his lips lightly curve up. "Good girl."

My whole face flares up, and I quickly turn my head in the opposite direction, bending over the bed and pretending to do something as a way to hide the blushes. "W-where're my shoes?"

I see them, but that's my only escape.

"You can't leave until she gives you the pills. I am going to let her know that you've eaten." The chair screech against the tiles as he gets up, and I shut my eyes, blowing my lips out nervously.

Breathe, Kelly. Breathe.

The door shuts behind him, and I fix myself upright, unable to forget the handsome smile that just graced his lips.

Why won't he smile more often? Possibly to save the human race, because with such a charming beam, humanity would be dropping dead like flies. The Government could use him as some nuclear weapon; the deep dimples in his cheeks are breathtaking.

Soon his assertive footsteps can be heard again, and I reposition myself on the bed, pressing my lips together to pull off a normal expression. But I am almost positive that I look weird and stiff right now.

He enters the room and sits on his chair before handing me two pink pills. "Take both."

"Thank you." I put one on my tongue, then use it to push it underneath it, playing with it. It's a thing Kevin and I used to do as kids with our vitamins. We would see who could be the most skilled at pushing them around our mouths.

But Mr. Todd doesn't seem to like it. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, it's a thing me and my brother used to do a lot. It's super cool; watch this." I turn my face to him and open my mouth, using my tongue to pull the pill from underneath it and on top, then reversing the order with a grin on my face.

Mr. Todd's complexion changes and he looks away, his jaw flexing. "Stop doing that and take the pill."

"Wait, this one is cool too, imma swirl it, watch." I curl my tongue around it and tuck it underneath, then tug it out again, wrapping it around it another time.

He suddenly grips my arm and drags me toward him. A soft gasp escapes me as our faces end up close together. So close that I can smell the mint on his breath melding with his citrusy aftershave. The air in the room is suddenly thick with some form of tension. Wh-What is he doing?

His Adam's apple moves in his throat as he swallows, and I blink my eyes, staring into his. "Mr. Todd?"

"Stop. It." He spells out, his voice low and deep, chilling my body.

"I-I didn't mean to—"

"Take the pill and stop playing with it. I don't have time to waste in here. Do you like to play with pills on your tongue? Do that in your own time and don't interfere with mine."

I am not interfering with his time. I didn't ask him to be here.