“Alright, that’s it. It’s time to call the cops to look for her,” I said, reaching for the phone.

My dad slapped my hand and I drew it back, pouting at him. He glanced up from the newspaper and sighed.

“Theo, quit overreacting. It’s only four,” he said.

“Dad, that is your daughter out there! Aren’t you even concerned?” I cried.

“She texted me and told me she would be tutoring at the school until 3.30. She’s probably on her way home as we speak,” he said, unconcerned as he dropped his gaze back down to the newspaper.

“I should’ve picked her up. God, he’s probably trying to put his hands all over here,” I said, pacing back and forth in the living room.

“Theo, you really need to calm down. Thalia said the boy who was bringing her home is a nice guy,” dad said.

“Dad, I’m not even sure Dimitri is a boy! He wears make-up and glitter!” I cried. “And he called me cute!”

“Well if he’s hitting on you, then you really shouldn’t be so worried about your sister,” dad said with a shrug.

The front door opened before I got the chance to reply. I watched anxiously as Thalia entered the room.

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN YOUNG LADY?” I demanded.

“Uh…tutoring?” she said.

“Tutoring ended at 3.30! It is now quarter after four!” I said, narrowing my eyes at her suspiciously.

“Dimitri had to stop at the gas station. His car was running low on gas,” she said, sitting on the arm of dad’s chair.

“Dad, tell her she can’t ride home with him anymore!” I said.

“Ignore your brother. He took a trip to Crazy Town,” dad said. “How was your tutoring?”

“Some people are so dense,” she said with a sigh. “You wouldn’t believe how horribly idiotic people are when it comes to math.”

Dad jerked his thumb at me. “Have you met Theo? Believe me Thalia, I know.”

“Hey!” I whined. “Whatever. I still don’t believe that Dimitri is that smart.”

“He was so good at tutoring. That guy has infinite patience, and I swear he only knows how to be in a happy mood,” Thalia said.

“Well from now on, I’ll pick you up,” I said.

“Theo, cut it out. It’s easier for Dimitri to bring me home. Besides, he doesn’t live too far away from here. Only about a ten minute drive,” Thalia said.

“Oh my god we’re moving,” I groaned, dropping down to the couch and burying my face in my hands.

“Theo, why do you hate this boy so much?” dad asked.

“Yea, seriously Theo. He’s flamboyant, but he’s not a bad person,” Thalia said.

“He annoys me,” I grumbled, not having an actual reason behind my hatred of Dimitri. There was just something about him.

“Well, you annoy me. Bye!” Thalia waved to us and skipped out of the room.

“Dad, you’re not at all worried about this?” I asked, staring at him in disbelief. “Your daughter is running off with some mismatched, flamboyant, horny boy!”

Dad turned the page of the newspaper. “Nah, I’m not really concerned.”

“You are a horrible father,” I said, getting up.

“Theo, Thalia made this guy sound harmless,” dad said.

“So meet him,” I said, suddenly smug. “Have Thalia introduce you to him. You know, so that you’re comfortable with him giving her rides home.”

“Theo, you’re the one who’s uncomfortable with that,” dad reminded.

“Will you just meet the guy? Please?” I said.

If my dad met Dimitri, surely he would get freaked out by his appearance. Then he would tell Thalia to stay the hell away from him, and I wouldn’t have to worry about him being dragged into my life anymore than he already was.

“Will it make you shut up?” he asked, his eye flicking to my face.

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Then fine. I’ll tell Thalia at dinner,” he said with a shrug.

“YES! FATHER OF THE YEAR!” I cried joyfully, flinging myself towards my dad.

He held up his hand. “Don’t hug me. I’m reading the newspaper. Maybe later. Go pretend to do your homework.”

“Yes sir!” I said, cheerfully making my way out of the living room and upstairs to my bedroom.

I flopped down on my bed, pulling out my cell phone and texting Oliver to let him know I had it all under control. My dad would meet Dimitri and get totally freaked out by him!

I got up and sat down at my laptop, screwing around online to kill time. I was basically bouncing in excitement to execute this genius plan of mine.

“Theo! Thalia! Dinner!” mom’s voice called after about an hour and a half.

I got off the computer and made my way downstairs. I took my seat at the dinner table, Thalia next to me and my parents across from me.

We had a dining room, but we rarely ate in it. Only when we had family over, or during holidays. It was more there for show than anything. We almost always just ate at the plain little table that was in the corner of our kitchen.

“Thalia, how was your tutoring?” mom asked.

“Frustrating, but not too bad,” Thalia said, scooping food onto her plate.

“This guy that gives you a ride home…” Dad glanced at me with a look that said he wanted to kick me. “I’d like to meet him. Just to feel more comfortable with you riding with him.”

‘You mean Theo wants you to meet him,” Thalia corrected.

“Yea, sorry. It was the only way to shut him up,” dad said with a shrug.

“Dad!” I whined.

Thalia kicked me under the table and I yelped. I shot her a glare and she smiled at me innocently.

“Mom, Thalia kicked me!” I said.

“You’re damn right I did,” Thalia said sweetly, ruffling my hair.

“That’s enough you two,” mom said, rolling her eyes.

I swatted Thalia’s hand away from my hair, pouting. God, sisters were so freaking evil and abusive.

“But yes, you can meet Dimitri,” Thalia said. “Tomorrow, actually. I’ll bring him in when he drops me off. Then Theo can shut up about it already.”

“Dimitri,” mom said slowly. “I always liked that name. We actually vaguely considered naming Theo that. But then we decided not to, and eventually were stuck between Theodore and Patrick.”

“Dear god. I would’ve shot myself if I had to share a name with Dimitri,” I said in horror. “Or if I had been named after a retarded starfish.”

“Will you quit it? And you better stay out of sight when I bring Dimitri into the house tomorrow. The last thing anybody wants to see is you being a dick to Dimitri,” Thalia said sternly.

YES, ANOTHER GENIUS IDEA. THANK YOU THALIA.

If I was there when my parents met Dimitri, he might start flirting with me or acting weird towards me. It would freak my parents out even more, and then they really wouldn’t want Thalia to be around the guy.

“Of course I’ll stay out of sight,” I said, flashing her a charming smile.

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Dad, he’s up to something. Can we lock him in the basement when I bring Dimitri over?”

“No, Thalia. We can’t lock your brother in the basement. He’s an idiot, not an animal,” dad said and took a sip of milk.

“Theo, can you just behave tomorrow?” mom asked.

“I always behave,” I said.

“And I’m Cleopatra,” dad grumbled.

“Really? Can I sell you to a museum for money?” I asked.

“You can finish eating and get out of here,” he said.

“Boys! Honestly,” mom said, shaking her head at us and lightly smacking dad’s arm. “Be nice to each other.”

We fell into random talk as we ate. Once we were done, Thalia and I helped clean the kitchen before heading upstairs to shower and do our homework.

The next day, we sat in study hall with Oliver. Thalia left to go get some books out of her locker, and I eagerly turned to Oliver.

“So, Dimitri’s going to freak my parents out, and then we won’t have to worry about Thalia dragging him into our lives,” I said smugly.

“You are an evil little genius and I freaking love you,” Oliver said, slapping me on the back.

“It’s our guy love,” I said with a firm nod. “We have incredibly heterosexual guy love for each other.”

“Can we pretend we’re on Scrubs and start singing?”

“Let’s face the facts about me and you, a love unspecified?”

“YES. THIS IS OUR FRIENDSHIP.”

I glanced over, watching as Dimitri walked into study hall, even later today than he usually was. He was dressed outrageously as usual, and I smirked to myself. He would definitely freak my parents out today.

He had on a pair of skinny jeans with one leg a bright yellow color, and the other leg a bright white color. He had on a V-neck long-sleeved shirt with black sleeves and a rainbow center.

The V-neck of the shirt dipped incredibly low, showing off Dimitri’s smooth chest. He had a chain around his neck, a ring hanging off of it.

His nails were painted that sparkly black. His hair was up in its usual purple fohawk, shimmering from the glitter in it. He had his usual make-up on, and was wearing those rainbow colored Vans.

“Seriously? How the hell can you even find pants like that?” Oliver asked, staring at Dimitri’s jeans.

“Who cares? My mom will have a heart attack when she sees him,” I said.

Oliver shook his head. “I wonder how Dimitri’s own mother doesn’t have a heart attack every time she sees him. If he was my son, I would’ve locked him up in a mental institution by now.”

“Here comes Thalia. Don’t say anything about tonight,” I said as Thalia walked back into the cafeteria.

She sat down at our table, flipping a math book open and copying down some problems. I pulled out a book, reading to keep myself occupied as Oliver also started to work on homework.

“Thalia dear, are we tutoring tonight?”

We looked up at the sound of Dimitri’s musical voice. He was standing at the head of our table, his frosty ice on Thalia.

“Yes, we’re tutoring tonight. If you’re alright with that,” Thalia said.

“Of course I’m alright with it,” Dimitri said with a nod. “Do you need a ride home again?”

“If that’s alright. And my parents want to meet you, just so that they’re comfortable with me getting rides from you.” Thalia rolled her eyes and kicked me under the table.

“Ow!” I snapped, glaring at her.

“Sorry. Muscle spasm,” she said.

I reached over and smacked her in the arm. “Sorry. Muscle spasm.”

Thalia ignored me, looking up at Dimitri. “I hope you’re okay with meeting my parents,” she said apologetically.

Dimitri smirked. “I’m perfectly fine with that. I quite enjoy meeting new people, even parents.”

“Yea. I’m sure parents are always thrilled to meet you,” I grumbled, wincing as Thalia kicked me again.

“Ah, little Theodore. I forgot for a moment that Thalia’s your sister. That means I’ll be meeting your parents tonight,” he said, his smirk growing. “How fabulous.”

“Theo won’t be there when you meet them. He’ll be locked in a cage in the basement with a muzzle on,” Thalia said.

“Yes, little Theodore does strike me as a kinky type,” Dimitri said with a nod.

My face heated up at that comment. “What the hell? That’s disgusting! You weirdo!”

“Ah, a virgin. Not that it wasn’t already obvious,” Dimitri said, chuckling a little. He stopped laughing and shot me a flirtatious wink. “I could fix that.”

I turned to Oliver. “Seriously, does he have a sexuality?”

“Maybe he’s pansexual,” Oliver offered.

“Pansexual? Does that mean he likes pans?” I asked in confusion. “You know, like…’OH FRYING PAN, YOU MAKE ME SO HARD.’”

“Theo, seriously, I am five seconds away from beating you to death with a frying pan,” Thalia said in annoyance.

“Oh little Theodore. You’re such an amusing individual,” Dimitri said, grinning and hooking his thumbs in his pockets. I realized that today he was wearing dark purple shoelaces as a belt.

“No scarf today Dimitri?” I asked. “I thought you always wore scarves. Isn’t that, like, your signature flamboyant accessory?”

“I was hoping you’d enjoy the wonderful view of my chest,” he said, tugging on the edge of his low-dipping V-neck. His fingers were, as usual, decorated with rings. He wasn’t wearing any bracelets today, though.

“Dimitri, quit flashing Theo and come here!” a guy called over.

“Destiny beckons. I’ll see you later, little Theodore.” He winked at me before heading over to his friends.

“I don’t know which is bigger; my hate for Dimitri, or his ego,” I said, rubbing my temples.

“Tonight,” Oliver reminded me, low enough so that Thalia wouldn’t hear him. “Just deal with him for today, and your parents will take care of it tonight.”

The bell rang and we got up, heading to class. When English class came, I sat down in my usual seat. The bell rang and two minutes later, Dimitri came strutting in.

“Mr. Ivanov, if you are late to my class one more time, I’ll be calling home,” Mrs. Slate said flatly.

“I have to warn you, my younger brother has a habit of answering the phone and babbling on about anime. But if you’d like to have a conversation with him, I’m sure it’ll keep you entertained,” Dimitri said, sitting down next to me and flashing Mrs. Slate an unconcerned smile.

“Dimitri’s right. His brother can give you an entertaining conversation,” Kim chimed in.

“Wonderful little child he is,” Dimitri said fondly.

“Then I’ll just call your mother’s cell phone,” Mrs. Slate said.

“Well, in that case, be sure to tell my mother I said hello,” Dimitri said cheerfully.

“I won’t tell her that. But I will be sure to tell her that you a disruptive little nuisance,” Mrs. Slate grumbled.

I snickered, pulling out my copy of Hamlet and flipping to the page we were on. I glanced over but instead of looking upset, Dimitri was just wearing his usual smirk, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

We read until the bell rang. I hopped up and made my way to study hall with Thalia and Oliver. We sat down in our usual seats, and I was almost bouncing in excitement with how close I was to having my parents keep Thalia away from Dimitri.

The bell rang, and a few minutes later, Dimitri and Kim entered the room together. They sat down near us, as usual.

“I wish Alek was wearing those short shorts again,” Oliver said with a sad sigh, eyeing her from across the room.

I slapped my hand over his eyes. “Quit looking. That’s my woman!”

Oliver pulled my hand away from his face, pouting at me. “She’s fair game, Theo.”

“I can’t believe you just said that. Guy love over. Bromance terminated. The ship is sinking.”

“Ship is sinking? Theo, no one ever shipped you and Oliver. God, what would you even call that? Oleo? Thiver? Yuck.” Thalia made a face.

“You’re just jealous,” I said, sticking my tongue out at her.

“Read your book and stop talking,” Thalia said, shoving my book in my face.

I took her advice, losing myself in my book. For once, Dimitri didn’t come over to bother us. He was in a deep, animated conversation with Kim.

The bell rang sometime later, releasing us from the hell known as high school. I put my book away and stood up, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

“Thalia, ready to go my dear?” Dimitri asked, suddenly standing in front of us. Kim was standing behind him.

“Yea, I’m ready. Should we go find Jordan at his locker?” Thalia asked.

“Naturally. We’d hate to leave him out,” Dimitri said.

I squinted at Dimitri. “Did you put glitter on your chest?”

He glanced down at his exposed chest. “I’m not surprised that you’re looking at my chest, little Theodore. And yes, I did. I’m just that damn fabulous.”

Kim rolled her eyes, spinning Dimitri towards her and rubbing the glitter off of his chest with her sleeve. She eyed his chest to make sure she had gotten it off.

“No, he didn’t put it there on purpose. When he touches his hair, it gets on his hands, and he was just itching his chest,” she explained.

“Way to take the mystery out of everything,” Dimitri said with a dramatic sigh. “Honestly Kimberly darling, just let my glittery chest be.”

“Come on,” Thalia said, laughing a little. “Let’s go find Jordan so we can tutor.”

She grabbed Dimitri’s hand and pulled his out of the room with Kim following them. Oliver and I left and went down to our lockers. We started walking towards the parking lot together once we had gathered all of our stuff to go home.

“I really hope that your plan works,” Oliver said, spinning his car keys around his finger as we walked down the hill to the parking lot.

“It will,” I said confidently. “You know my mom and dad. Dimitri will scare the hell out of them. They won’t want Thalia anywhere near the guy.”

“Call me tonight and let me know how it went,” Oliver said, waving as he got into his car.

I waved back and got into my own car. I drove myself home and went inside, basically sprinting to the living room.

“So, today!” I cried, stopping in front of my dad.

“Yes, today. I meet your sister’s friend,” dad said, sitting in his favorite chair with a novel in his hands.

“They’re not friends,” I warned. “And trust me, once you see the guy, you won’t want them to be friends.”