《Forever | ✓》29. Peace

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Serena

"My baby's home! It's been so long," My dramatic mother was the first to greet me as I walked through the door to my parents house.

"I visited a month ago," I smiled and hugged my Mum, who held me close like she was afraid to let go.

She leaned back but still held onto my arms. "Even a day away is too long for a mother," she said.

I rolled my eyes at her. "You're way too dramatic."

She scoffed in response, waving her hand about. "There's no such thing."

I laughed at her words as she took my hand and pulled me into the living room.

Immediately, I saw my Dad standing in the living room and when he spotted me, he held his arms wide open.

"Hi, sweetheart. Welcome home," he greeted and I walked into his embrace as he held me close.

"Hi Dad," I smiled into his hug.

I missed this so much and definitely needed it. My Dad's hugs were equivalent to hot chocolate. It was the best thing ever. Sometimes, it was all I needed to feel safe and to think that all was good in the world.

"Had a good journey?" Dad asked, as we all took a seat on the sofa, with the fireplace lit up and keeping us all warm.

I rested my head on his shoulder, whilst he gently stroked my head. "It was alright, but tiring. I hate driving long distances," I told them.

I don't mind driving, but it's just a bit of a chore sometimes, especially when you have to go further away. I'd rather sit in the back and chill, whilst someone else drove.

Also, paying to rent a car isn't something I liked either.

"I don't like you driving long distances either," Dad said with a frown. He just wasn't too keen on me driving at all.

Mum then turned to face me. "Why can't you book a taxi?" She asked.

"And spend three of the shops' profit on that bill? No thank you." I replied.

It might not seem like it, but I do work hard to keep both the bridal shop and the cake shop going and earning profit. Spending all that hard earned money on a taxi fare just isn't something my heart could bear.

Before my Mum could reply and most likely say something about how travelling by taxi would be better, I heard the barking of our dog and the tapping of her paws against the hardwood floor.

Daisy came running into the living room excitedly, bound straight for me.

She stood on her hind legs, tail wagging and her front paws on my lap. Her brown and black fur looked newly brushed, and I wouldn't be surprised if Mum tried to make her look extra pretty for me to see.

"Daisy! You absolute beauty, come here girl," I cooed at her, as she let out a bark in response.

She nuzzled her nose into my neck, giving me a lick as I laughed.

"She's missed you," Dad commented, watching our little reunion.

I laughed as Daisy laid by my feet and onto her back, showing me her stomach, clearly wanting to be scratched.

"I've missed her too," I said, scratching her stomach. The last time I got to see her, was when my parents dropped her off before their little trip.

Every time I saw her, I would just remember how much she resembled Rocky. It was so weird, but I swear they even smiled the same.

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We first adopted Rocky after we moved into this house. He passed away after getting quite ill and we had to put him down. It hurt so much to let him go, but it was better than him being in constant pain.

We cremated Rocky, and then buried his ashes, along with his favourite toys. It's so easy to envy people who have pets, but then you forget about how you can outlive them, and that kills.

My Dad took Rocky's death the hardest. He'd bonded with him and they were really close, Rocky was his buddy.

However, two years ago, Daisy came along. She was a police dog, but after an injury to one of her legs, she was out of action. Dad seemed to love her and her resemblance to Rocky was also a factor.

Dad trained her and soon she was back to jumping around as usual. Thankfully, she was allowed to stay as our dog.

"She reminds me of Rocky so much," I said, holding Daisy's adorable face in my hands.

"I know. She behaves like him too, sometimes," Dad said, whilst smiling fondly at Daisy.

"She definitely got his stubbornness," Mum added. Rocky would sometimes turn a deaf-ear to my Mums commands, 'like don't chew on my shoes'.

I smiled down at Daisy. "Stubborn? No, you're a good girl, aren't you chica?" I said in a baby-voice and she wagged her tail in response.

After talking to my parents for some time, I went for a nap. I was incredibly tired after the drive her, I needed to rest, so I crawled into bed with Daisy resting by the foot of my bed as I slept.

When I woke up and freshened up, there was a knock on my door. I instantly knew that it was my Dad, since my Mum never knocked.

"Come in," I called out.

My Dad opened the door slightly, before poking his head in. I smiled seeing the goofy expression on his face.

I was sat on the floor, my back leaning against the bed frame with Daisy's head on my lap. Dad didn't question it, instead he just took a seat on the floor in front of me, his hands resting on his knees.

"I've missed you, sweetheart," he smiled.

I grinned back. "Me too, Dad."

"So, tell me. How are you?" And with that question, my smile faltered.

"I'm...I honestly don't know."

"That's okay."

"I'm hurt. I'm angry. I'm sad. There's so much and I feel like a big mess of all those emotions," I told Dad.

All my feelings were a jumbled up together. At one moment I felt something, the next, it just didn't make sense to me. I kept trying to grab at one emotion but another, more prevailing one, would arise.

"Have you spoke to him since?" Dad asked.

I almost wanted to laugh at the way he avoided saying Will's name. One thing that I'd always know, is that he had my back.

"He called to check up on me, to see if I was okay. I've texted him, but I don't really want to talk to him right now. I said I'll be his friend and I will be, I just need some time," I revealed.

Daisy nuzzled her head into my led, and I gently stroked the top of her head.

I was serious when I didn't want to lose him from my life and Will seemed pretty sure that he didn't want to part with me either. However, it was a new equation that we

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"You don't need to explain yourself," Dad patted my knee.

But I shrugged. "I feel like I do."

This caused a little laugh to leave my Dad. He gave me a look like I was an idiot, a look that unfortunately I was familiar with.

"To who? Me? I'm your Dad. In my eyes there is nothing you can do wrong. Stupid, yes, but nothing wrong."

"I feel a little broken," I confessed.

Maybe not broken exactly, not even shattered, but chipped. It was like a chip on a mug, you see it on there all the time. If it's your favourite mug, you're in a fix on whether or not to keep it, or throw it. You keep it, but that chip is always there, a reminder, nearly broke.

"You're not broken," Dad told me.

I let out a small sigh. "Dad."

"You are not broken, Serena," he said so sternly, as if he were making sure I believed it. "You are way too tough to be broken like this. When life takes a swing at you, you swing back just as hard. There's no pulling punches. Right now you're knocked down, all you need to do is get back up."

My Dad used to box a lot.

"You make it sound easy," I told him, my hand gently running over Daisy's fur, slowly tickling my palm.

"It's not," Dad replied. "But then that's what makes the win so much better."

I understood what he was trying to say, but it didn't really feel like that, at least not right now.

"How do you know when you've won?" I asked him.

Dad shrugged. "You'll just know," he said, before smiling. "I knew it when I met your Mum."

I let out an ugly snort.

"It's true," he said. "I had a girlfriend before your Mum, who actually cheated on me. I was so hurt and mad, I didn't understand. I apparently was too focused on work and didn't give her attention."

"That's so horrible."

"For about two years I stayed away from relationships. I focused on only my job, until I met your Zara," he said, he smiled as soon as he said Mum's name.

I raised my hand before he could start. "Please, I know this story."

Dad laughed. "The moment I saw her, I knew. I found myself in a relationship with someone who understood me. You can not be okay right now, that's fine, but soon you'll have to accept it and continue to accept it."

I couldn't help but frown, my lips twisting slightly as I mulled over his words. "So it's not a bad thing that I'm not crying my eyes out with a tub of ice cream in my hand?"

"Sweetheart, you've never been one to cry your eyes out for anything, especially not a guy."

'If only you knew', I thought to myself.

"A tub of ice cream isn't your thing. Yes, even if you do cry, you let it out and then pick yourself up once again. That's the kind of person you are. Just because you're not throwing yourself on the bed dramatically, that doesn't reflect your feelings," my Dad said.

"Tell me, did you love the guy?" Dad asked, referring to Will.

I nodded my head. "Yes," I instantly replied.

"Then that's all that matters," Dad said. "It didn't work out, but that's life. Some things don't work, so that other things can, better things."

"So my engagement broke, for something better? Like what?" I asked him.

My Dad just shrugged in response. "You'll find out," he said.

I shook my head slightly, looking down at Daisy who seemed to be content in lying down right now.

"You're being so vague," I told him.

"I know," he replied, and this was an answer I could expect from him.

I gave him a smile. "Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome," he smiled back.

I thought he was going to make a move to get up, but instead he just changed his seating position. He sat next to me, leaning to my side and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Oh, and by the way, he didn't break up with you. It was a mutual decision," Dad said and I chuckled at his words.

"I love you," I told him.

"Love you too," he replied.

"Does it ever just get better? Feeling so...lost?" I asked.

Daisy, as if sensing my saddened state, and then moved from our lap. She sat up towards me, before resting her head in the crook of my neck. This was her version of a hug, and I of course, hugged her back.

"It does," Dad said, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Feelings are complicated and they don't just turn off, because if they did, I wouldn't have pursued your mother like I did," he added.

I let out a deep sigh. "This is exhausting," I said, leaning into my Dad's side and Daisy leaned into me.

"I know," Dad chuckled. "It's exhausting, loving someone always is, but there are moments where it's all worth it. My moments are just seeing your Mum smile, laugh, just everything she does...and of course you."

I let out an amused breath at the end of his words, as if he just had to and in the little bit about me, to continue to make me feel better.

"You'll be okay, sweetheart. If you don't believe anything I've said, believe me on at least that," he said.

"Thanks, Dad," I nudged his side.

"Anytime," he squeezed my shoulder, resting his head atop of mine.

Our cute little father-daughter moment only really lasted for a few seconds, before my room door opened and my Mum walked in, as usual without knocking.

"I will not reheat food for either of you. Come eat now, or it goes to the dog," she warned us.

"Was that a punishment or reward?" My Dad asked her, as he got up and also helped me onto my feet.

I look at my Mum, who narrowed her eyes at him.

"Mark," she warned him.

Dad laughed and held up his hands in a surrendering motion. "Kidding, obviously. I love your cooking, Zara. It's amazing."

"Nice try," my Mum scoffed, and then held her hand out towards me. "Let's go Rena, I made your favourites."

Later in the evening, I changed into my pyjamas and walked into our living room. Mum seemed to have walked in just before me, placing placing two mugs on the coffee table, next to two plates of cake.

This is the other reason I came back for.

"Thank you," I grinned like a child, who was getting extra ice cream even if they were initially told they wouldn't be able to.

I took a seat in the armchair, as Mum sat on the sofa, and then realised that Dad wasn't here.

"Where's Dad?" I asked.

The fireplace was all lit up and it made me feel all warm and cozy, and with a mug full of hot chocolate, I was feeling pretty content.

"He took Daisy out for a walk," she said and I looked at the clock.

"Now?" I asked.

Mum nodded. "They always go out for a little evening stroll together. He used to go with Rocky, I guess he never got out of that habit, or never wanted to."

He definitely didn't want to. My Dad used to send me a little video from his walk, of him and Rocky. He teach him something or see him do something adorable, and he'd record it and send it to me.

"How are you holding up, sweetheart?" Mum asked, as I curled myself up onto the armchair.

"I'm okay, Mum." I smiled. "I think that question itself bothers me a more."

She chuckled. "I know, it's annoying, but I wouldn't be doing my job as a mother if I didn't ask. You're my tough cookie, but it's basically my second nature to worry."

I felt as if it was more her first nature to worry.

"I'm really just trying to unwind," I told Mum, as she looked at me, waiting for me to continue. "I feel like I'm this piece of elastic, and I'm being pulled from either end, and I'm kind of just waiting to snap."

"The good thing about elastic, is that even when it snaps, it just goes back to how it was," Mum said.

I let out a little laugh. "That was very deep," I told her, making her laugh a little too.

"You're old enough to make your own choices, Serena. You will stumble and fall, but the trick is to pick yourself up and keep going," she said.

"Just keep swimming," I said.

I was quoting Dory, that pretty much summed up my state right now.

"Exactly," Mum said in agreement. "Eventually, everything falls into place, to where it should be."

At her words, my focus shifted a little, turning my gaze towards the fire. The dancing flames catching my attention for a second.

"How do I know it's where it should be?" I asked Mum.

"You honestly won't even think about it at the time, but you'll know," she replied, and I looked towards her again. "Although, it does take time to reach that place, so don't rush it, instead just focus on being happy in the moment."

It was a little exhausting constantly thinking about the destination, rather than just enjoying the journey. I felt like I was wired different, I had to always think about the next steps, or the end result, it wasn't exactly easy to 'live in the moment'. But maybe that was just something I needed to do right now.

"Thanks, Mum," I smiled.

"You're welcome," she said, and reached towards the coffee table, grabbing a plate for me. "Now have some carrot cake."

I grinned at her, taking the plate from her hands. "This is what I really came home for."

"I know," she laughed.

Not too long later, I heard the sound of the front door opening, and light pattering on the floor.

"Honey, I'm home!" My Dad's voice echoed through and I looked towards Mum, who was smiling, shaking her head gently. Her cheeks had reddened.

"Does he always do that?" I asked her, and she smiled at me.

"Every time," she replied.

Dad came into the room, with Daisy trailing behind him. She had a toy in her mouth, and sat near the fireplace, but at a safe distance.

As soon as Dad walked into the room, he sat on the sofa, lifting my Mums' feet onto his lap, and she then fed him some cake.

Looking at my parents, I realised what my Mum meant by things falling into place.

They had reached a place of how things should be, where they don't even question it, everything just flowed in accordance to them. This was their life, and they were content.

I wanted something similar to this. I was so tired of being overwhelmed, and stressed and anxious, and now heartbroken. I just wanted some peace.

However, right now I'll just settle with being happy in my moment...especially with my carrot cake.

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