"yah jen! it's raining outside what are you doing?"

the sixteen year-old jennie ignored the shouts and went outside. the rain fell all over her, shivering slightly but nonetheless looked above to see the dark clouds and poring rain. she extended her arms around and started to run, like a bird. "rosie posie!" she poked the said girl's chipmunk cheeks and the said girl squealed. "jen, your hands are cold." she muttered while she interlocked their hands together, making the shorter pull her easier onto the rain.

"jennie!" roseanne squealed as the rain hit her milky skin, shivering immediately. her girl on the other hand was playing around like a kid, not caring of the aftereffects later. so instead of scolding her, she just let her be, seeing her girl's happiness is also her happiness.

"jennie," rośe said. jennie instantly turned around, showing her gummy smile, outshining the sun. jennie ran to her and embraced rośe's waist. "what is it, love?"

rośe fixed the wet hair blocking her lover's face as she smiled. they got lost onto each other's eyes again.

"i love you so much jenjen. you bring light in this rainy day, keeping me warm and alive. outshining the sun and more beautiful than the flowers s–" rośe was cut off by a pair of soft, luscious lips. jennie's lips.

"i love you too rośe, so much." she whispered. lost into each other's kisses, indulged in their own paradise.

after getting a quick bath, rośe changed into her pajamas and laid on her bed, thinking of the person she loves and was with a while ago. how she made her feel euphoric just by spending her time with her. how she melts whenever they shared a hug. how–

a knock on the door was heard. "chaeyoung?" alice unnie's voice. "yes, unnie?" roseanne asked.

"go in the living room, we'll be discussing something." a tone she has never heard before.

what could it be?

—

the memories came flashing back in an instant, and left as soon as it came.

jennie was at the edge of her bed, a thick blanket wrapped around her whole small figure. but the warmth was insufficient, she wouldn't survive the cold night with this. something must be incomplete...more like someone...

the blonde came inside the brunette's room. she was holding two cups of coffee, one for her and another for the brunette. she handed her the cup and jennie took it, being cautious of the hot liquified content of the cup.

"penny for your thought?" lisa asked as she plopped down beside her. "it doesn't matter." jennie replies, coldness dripping from her throat. "it does matter jennie. what is it?" lisa's words was coated with concerned and softness. she set aside her coffee and stared at her eyes, brown caramel eyes with swirling mixed emotions alongside it. "memories." jennie sipped on her coffee, just the one she likes.

"do you mind telling me what's going on inside your mind?"

the brunette stood up with the cup of coffee gripped between her fingers and the blanket still draped around her figure, reaching for something. a lock. lisa watched in confusion.

jennie unlocked something, and once it opened, lisa's mouth went agape. "you have a balcony in here? i didn't..." she followed jennie.

"the view's not that pretty. small buildings in the town that's it." jennie explained and sat on the couch, facing the buildings and the quiet, big, beautiful moon. she patted the empty space beside her and lisa immediately sat.

the wind blew coldly, making the blonde shiver but she didn't act on it (so that jennie can have the blanket all tho herself. "it's been a while since i visited here y'know," jennie mumbled. lisa hummed and sipped her practically cold coffee. "jennie kim, you are so full of surprises," lisa mumbles back, however the brunette heard it. an unconscious smile formed on her lips. "what was that?"

"just share me the damn blanket i'm shivering." lalisa retorted and successfully dodged the question and maybe a followup question. once the blanket was wrapped around their bodies, lisa wanted, no, needed more warmth. more...from jennie. so she removed all nervousness inside of her and confidently embraced the brunette beside her, leaning her head on her shoulder. it feels so good, so right. jennie hugs lisa back, knowing she needed this–desired this. knowing the truth and not denying it.

it was silent, the only thing that whispers was the wind and their breaths. it was a comforting silence. it made their thoughts flow freely, no questions, no answers and no hesitations. just the two with their thoughts and warm embrace.

for lisa it felt infinite. it felt as if they wanted this all along. as if they were in each other's arms, as lovers, as a way of telling what she couldn't say in words. as if they loved each other, more that friends, more than what they are now. like she could spend the rest of their lives together in each other's arms. jennie and her.

it was a way of escaping reality, jennie thinks. jennie thinks too hard, not really knowing what her heart wants. her mind wants to get her out off her head. her mind only thinks that the person holding her is just a dear friend who cared for her. what her mind thinks, it blinds the truth she really don't want to face. lisa is just her escape route. it's selfish, but she has too.

'but what does my heart feels?' a sudden question popped in her mind. the mind thinks, but it hurts, only she can feel. and so the feeling came back, all the hurt and painful memories she was with her past love flashing through her mind like a broken tape. she stops thinking of her, slightly feeling guilty for the person she's embracing, wondering what she was thinking of.

a sudden feeling surged in her veins and to her heart, like alerting her of her surroundings. she opens her eyes immediately, meeting the doe-eyes of the girl. she was lost. both in her thoughts and feelings. too confused of what is happening to her. of what she should feel.

instead of drowning onto the doe-eyed girl she closes her eyes once more, continuing her running thoughts.

when she is with lisa, what does she feels? she feels happy, happier than with her other friends. she felt safe but bold, a shield protecting her from the dark. she feels naked around her, but she doesn't cover herself, seemingly okay with the the blonde seeing her true self. always there when she needs something. like a blanket that warms her up or a pillow she can embrace, a tissue when she cries or a diary she can talk with. 'lisa was always there for you.'

what her heart wants...is it lisa?

/