"Sawyer Jay, you tell me what's going on this instant!" Millie continued to follow behind me, despite the amount of times I told her to leave me be.

"You know that I can't, so quit acting like that's going to change!" I lost it, turning away from her and opening up my locker.

I heard her scoff, causing me to roll my eyes. "This isn't some stupid secret anymore. All of you are fucked up. You've got scabs all over your face! You can't play this one off. You're going to tell me the full story right now!"

When my books were safely put away, I slammed the door shut and looked at her with a pissed off expression. "You know what, Millie? I've done nothing but try to protect you from this shit, and you still have the nerve to get mad at me for it? That's fucked up! I'm not going to tell you jack shit, so suck it up and move on."

She appeared stunned. Her eyes watched me for several long seconds. I knew that I should feel bad, but I couldn't anymore. I was tried. I was just too fucking tired. Of what, the list was too long. But God, I was so tired.

Ever since I had gotten to school, it had been incessant prodding from everyone. The amount of eyes that kept staring at me like I was some sort of circus display was beginning to take a tole on me. Then add the fact that my best friend was even worse than they are, and I got a nice multilayered cake.

One that I didn't want to take a bite out of.

As shocking as that was.

"You know that I'm concerned, right?" Millie's voice was a lot quieter then. "I'm worried about you. You're all I've ever had, and I won't be able to handle it if you go. I just want to be able to help."

I bit my cheek. "I know. I've always known that, Millie. But I don't want to hear another fucking word about any of this-" I gestured to my face "-because I've already heard enough people talking about it. When it's over, I'll tell you about it then."

"Okay." She nodded, but her eyes spoke otherwise. She wasn't okay with any of it, but for the first time, I couldn't be bothered to care.

Compared to the list of literally life-threatening problems that I was dealing with, Millie was the last thing I needed to worry about.

At least I knew that she was safe.

I found myself heading towards the courtyard. I supposed that it was becoming a habit. I didn't mind it, though, since the outside air was nice. And the view. No, I was not talking about the scenery. I was talking about the blonde, hazel-eyed God that was always out there. Millie followed silently behind me.

I pushed the door open and instantly spotted the group of boys that I was seeking. There was a crowd around them, which I was sure was full of people asking about what happened. I wondered what story they made up.

Sam, Dennis, and Caden, were all sat on top of one of the picnic tables, whereas Brian sat on the bench directly beneath Caden. I couldn't see his face since it was cast downward at what I figured was his phone.

The bruises were all amplified, because it had been a few days. Monday was not pleasant thus far. All of us looked like shit, I had already been in a fight with my best friend, and the whole school wouldn't stop glancing my way. Then I added the fact that I spent the better half of that night tossing and turning until the sun decided to shine through my curtains. It was a plethora of negative things. A goddamn shitshow.

I obviously got a good nights rest on Saturday, but for some unknown reason, Sunday felt like the longest night of my life. Sam tried to help me by talking over the phone, but he just ended up falling asleep without me. It left me in a very sour mood.

It was going to be a long fucking week.

"Hey." I grumbled, plopping down on a bench beside Sam. Millie sat by herself on the opposite bench.

"Hey, did you get any sleep last night?" He asked me, talking quiet enough to not be heard by anyone else.

I snorted. "Wouldn't that be nice."

Sam shook his head, turning back to the bystanders.

One of them quickly called out the question that we had all been dreading.

"Are you guys friends now?"

Sam paused for a moment, clearly trying to decide how best to approach the situation. We couldn't let anyone know that we were together, but there was no point in hiding the fact that our hatred had been pushed to the sidelines.

Or rather, the incinerator.

"Um, I guess." He shrugged, glancing at Millie and I.

Millie's brow raised curiously. She didn't know any of it. In fact, she knew as little as everyone else around us. It was ironic how the one person who I had always trusted, had become the most important person to hide from. And the person who I always hated, had become the only person I could talk to.

Well, and was also now my boyfriend, but that was beside the point.

"How the hell did that happen?" Some random guy asked.

Once again, Sam shrugged. "It was time to grow up, I guess. Sometimes rivalries aren't worth it."

My heart went upside down and inside out. Obviously, they had no idea what the underlying meaning was, but I sure as hell did.

"Plus, Sawyer and Millie are really cool people!" Caden piped in with a toothy grin. Smiling had to hurt with the black and blues decorating his cheek. I never saw a bruise quite like that one. It made me shutter just thinking about it.

"Thanks, Cade. You're pretty cool, too!" Millie returned the smile, leaning her head against her palm.

Dennis turned to her. "And you're pretty." He winked.

I directed a hate-filled glare at Dennis, then proceeded to turn that glare towards Millie when her cheeks tinted pink. I would never understand how the hell Dennis managed to get into the pants of ever girl out there, but I would die before he got anywhere near my Millie.

Hell, he had even fucked Sydney. And I thought she was way too much of a goody-two-shoes to let anyone touch her.

"Um, hey, Sawyer." I heard a feminine voice giggle.

I turned around to see two girls standing in front of me. They were both fairly pretty, sporting very basic looks. Scrunches, jeans, blouses, the whole nine yards.

I furrowed my brow. "Uh, hey?"

Who the hell were they, and why the hell were they talking to me?

"So, you're hanging out with Sam's group now?" The other one said. Her hair was dark.

"Yeah," I mumbled, not really knowing what the hell to say.

"That's cool." The blonde one said, playing with a loose strand of hair. "I'm Rachel, and that's Zoe."

"Well, I suppose you already know my name." I said stupidly. Sam stifled a chuckle from behind me. I looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Is something funny to you?"

"Nope, not at all." Sam's lips were scrunched together, as though he was forcing himself to not laugh.

"You're a terrible liar." I commented.

His hazel eyes gleamed with a spark of giddy happiness. "Only when I want to be."

The sound of someone's throat clearing was what caught my attention. What were their names again? Rebecca and Chloe?

They exchanged a weird glance. "Um, anyway, we were wondering if you might be free sometime soon?"

I stared at her for a long moment. Definitely longer than I should have. What did she ask me? She had to be talking to the wrong guy. She must have been directing it at Sam.

But she wasn't.

Their eyes were both on mine.

The feeling of someone's elbow ramming into my shoulder was what snapped me out of the embarrassingly long daze. Sam was clearly trying to get me to speak.

What was I supposed to say? That I was probably-gay-but-still-somehow-refuse-to-admit-it? Oh yeah, and the fact that I had a boyfriend? That I lost my virginity to him only a few days ago? None of that was ever going to happen.

"Sorry, but I'm pretty busy." I cringed at my own lame excuse.

"Oh." The blonde haired one looked far more disappoint, her posture slumping just enough to be visible.

The brown haired one seemed to be panicked by her friend's reaction. "It's alright, we were just curious if you were going to come to the party this weekend. If not, that's fine."

The upcoming weekend was the same weekend in which the rest of the money was due. Even if the party wasn't on a Friday, I sure as hell was not going to waste my time at another party. Especially not after the first one.

"I'm sorry, but I probably won't be. Parties aren't really my thing."

"But you went to Freddy's party, I saw you there." She pressed. I had no idea why she was so persistent, but it was making the whole thing way harder than it had to be. What the hell was her name? Sophie?

"That was my fault." Sam finally swept in, saving me from the spotlight. "I forced him to go."

Her face dropped, similar to how her friend's had. Something told me that she didn't care if I came or not. I was pretty sure that she was only trying so hard to help out the blonde girl. I respected her for trying, but it wasn't going to happen.

"It's fine." The other one hissed in Chloe/Sophie's face.

"Okay." I said, watching as they walked away.

"You are horrible around girls." Sam pointed out as soon as they were out of earshot.

I rolled my eyes, lowering my voice so that only he could hear me. "Why does that surprise you?"

"It doesn't." He laughed. "But you aren't half-bad around boys."

I looked away the moment I felt my face heat. It was one thing when we flirted at his house, or behind closed doors, but it was a completely different thing when we did it in public. Whether they could hear us or not.

The sound of an unfamiliar laugh caused my head to jerk up. Who the hell was that? I looked around, trying to pinpoint who it was that made that noise. Their voice was deep.

Then it hit me.

That was Brian.

I had never heard him laugh before. He had handed his phone over to Caden, who was typing things into it and then showing flashing the screen at Brian. Whatever it was, it had to of been good, since it was the first time I ever even heard him laugh.

Or maybe he did laugh a lot, and I was just never around to hear it. I was probably weird for being so captivated by the whole thing, since it was just a laugh, but it was always interesting the first time I heard someone laugh.

Was it bad that I never paid attention enough to hear one of Sam's friend's laugh? Guilt crept up quickly, but I shoved it back down my throat. Not today, please and thank you.

Just some people laughed more than others, I supposed.

"Sam." Dennis caught the blonde haired boy's attention. "You should have..."

Their conversation went on for awhile, and I had no idea what exactly it was about. I never really thought about it, but Sam and Dennis were really close. They had always been, but I never fully processed it. I supposed that they did often seek each other out, and since Caden and Brian were so close, I was sure that it automatically made Dennis and Sam grow closer.

At the thought of best friends, my mind went back to Millie. How did she feel about having to sit here silently while the rest of us conversed? She probably hated it. At least I knew that she liked Caden, and - to my dismay - didn't mind Dennis, so she couldn't have been that uncomfortable. However, I had no idea what exactly she thought about Sam.

I didn't know if I would be able to live knowing that they didn't like one another, so I was just going to have to hope for the best. I wasn't too scared about how she would react when I told her that I was into a boy. I just didn't know how she would feel when I broke the news that the boy was Sam.

It didn't take much longer for the bell to go off.

Another hour passed, another hour closer to our potential downfall.

I was just going to have to hope that someone packed a parachute.

•O•O•