"I will never forget that night." I confessed after laughing so hard.

It feels as though months have passed since the night that Callum and I met for the very first time. But it's only been a few weeks. And us talking about it right now has made me realise how we are taking things faster than normal.

"That makes the two of us. I was actually impressed by you though. Most people can't call me out on anything because they're always trying to get on my good side." He said.

"Why would they want to get on your good side?"

Callum huffed and then returned his attention back to me.

"You might not know this Lizy but I'm actually kinda loaded."

I don't think Callum will ever get past the phase of calling me Elizabeth. And I'm starting to get used to hearing Lizy rolling out his tongue.

I slightly laughed. Not because I already knew that Callum was well.....as he said...loaded, but because it's really weird that some one would try to be on another's good side just because their rich.

"That's ridiculous." I stated openly.

"I know." Callum agreed. "Knowing this has made me more cautious you know, it's the reason I have fewer friends while I could have tons."

"You and I have very few friends for totally different reasons." I took a bite of my noodles then. "It's a dynamic that Marvels me."

After what happened earlier between Callum and James, he wasn't sure if proceeding with the date was a comfortable idea but I assured him that I do not mind and I'd really appreciate dinner.

So Callum took me at the top of a building somewhere in the middle of New York city and showed me the most beautiful view I've ever seen. The City lights made New York look so alive. I had never seen something that beautiful honestly. Growing up in Colorado there's not very much to see.

We grabbed some Chinese food on our way here and sat ourselves at a table Callum set for us at the empty roof top. I tried to convince myself that it wasn't meant to be as romantic as it appeared, that this is something normal, that lots of dates are as regular as this one.

That love has nothing to do with it.

That a guy can take any girl at a roof top and for love to be uninclusive.

I doubt Callum has any feelings for me. We've only known each other for may be two weeks.

It's to early to assume.

No man has ever done this for me. I don't want to be all over my head for something that could just be casual. What do I know about dates? I've never been to dates before.

Pitiful, I know. But I have only had two men interested in me in ways other than just general dislike for me.

So even when Callum's eyes light up when he talked to me, I forced my mind to believe that he was just genuinely happy.

I'll make it up to him for this. I'm not good at picking gifts or planning dates but I've learned a few things about Callum and I can do something really nice for him.

"You have few friends?" Callum asked after swallowing his food. "Seriously?"

"You'll be surprised." I chuckled lightly. Callum folded his hands on the table and just stared at me.

"Can you tell me why?" He inquired.

I didn't really know how to answer this question. I guess I have this bad omen following me or something. No one ever really likes me for various different reasons and I honestly never bother to find out about all their reasons. Some just dislike me because of my family background " the criminals" and others because of who knows what.

"They find me intolerable." It was true. Some people just can't stand me . Atleast that's what I've heard them say.

"That's kinda believable." He teased as his lips twitched to hold back a laugh.

"Oh really?" I laughed. "Didn't know you're trying to tolerate me."

"Hardly trying." He said seriously. "I like hanging out with you. A lot actually."

I blinked.

"They don't know what they're missing." Callum added.

"Stop flattering me or it'll go straight to my head."

Callum let out a humorous laugh that was pleasant to hear honestly.

"That was the goal." He grinned widely and then resumed to eat. I tried to ignore how my cheeks flushed at his words.

We ate our dinner in silence for a while, it was Serene, peaceful.

But as most things, nothing lasts forever.

"Lizy...."

"Mmmh.." I raised my head to face him.

His expression was unreadable as he leaned on his chair. He seemed conflicted.

"Can you be honest with me." He sounded tense. And I knew exactly what he was trying to point out.

"Is it about James.?" I put down my fork trying to sound unaffected.

He exhaled deeply and shifted on his sit as if suddenly uncomfortable, and him doing that was making me nervous.

"Just let it out Callum." I said while sounding a bit stronger than I anticipated.

"What's going on between you two?" He didn't sound pissed or anything. But rather a little speculative and I get it. It was only a matter of time till this topic was finally put on the table.

"I've been trying to ignore the topic ever since that day at campus but then after what has.... happened today I can't turn a blind eye any longer. The way he was holding onto you and how he acted with me....." He paused as if to take a breathe.

"James has never talked nor looked at me like that Lizy. Like as if I'm the enemy. I've known him since I was three and not once did he sound so cynical with me. Not once." He added. "Not even when I told him about what happened between us that night, he listened silently, he looked a bit off but not spiteful like how he looked today. I almost didn't recognize him earlier and that sort of worried me because he's like a brother to me. When he drove off it made me realize that he didn't want to fight with me either but I also noticed he felt betrayed by me in a way. So please tell me the truth Elisabeth... Are you together?"

"Callum....th-" I stuttered because I didn't know where to start to explain to him about all this. Everything had happened so fast and now I can't point out what is true and what isn't true anymore.

"The last thing I want is getting in the way of anything. And although I like you..."

"You like me?" I whispered, shocked at his words.

Callum blue eyes widen a little as if he didn't mean to say that. But his gaze settled soon after.

"All I know is that I enjoy being around you more than I enjoy being close to any other person. And if that means that I like you more than I should then yes. I do." His gaze shifted to the lights. "But I will not let myself get between you and James's relationship. He's so important to me Lizy. And if you two are having problems and are on a break or something, I would rather not be the reason for James's unhappiness because he loves you..."

"James doesn't love me." I corrected quickly. "And I'm not in a relationship with him."

Callum raised a brow as he folded his hand waiting for me to explain.

I sighed heavily and rubbed my temple.

I can't believe Callum even assumed that James loves me. That's impossible. James doesn't love. Love isn't his vocabulary. And it will never be in his vocabulary. But what makes me even more surprised is that Callum would take a step back of this because of his strong bond with James. An hour ago he seemed ready to hold his ground against James with out hesitation. Now I see how much he really cares and respects him.

He grew up with James, they have known each other for years. And I've only recently shown up in their lives and sorta messed things up.

Now Callum feels like a traitor and James feels betrayed by his brother.

And I feel like a monster.

"We were never together. There was indeed something going on between us but it was most certainly not a relationship." I got the words out.

"And Merissa..." I began.

"What about Merissa? What does she have to do with any of this?" Callum seemed confused.

Merissa and James are an item, clearly I'm the impostor here, a fling. But by the way Callum is talking, like as though I didn't just confess to being involved with Merissa's boyfriend, as if I'm the main woman in James's life, as though Merissa doesn't even exist, makes me extremely confused. Anyone would judge me for this, and isn't he and James open to each other about their lives? They're close like that, right? Then why does Callum seem speculative. Like Merissa even being mentioned doesn't make sense.

"I understand that this is clearly about the three of us but Merissa should be included." I sighed, not sure that my words are valid enough. "I had an affair with James, it was a fling and it ended as soon as it started. He made it very clear to me that he didn't want anything more to do with me and called it off. And I know it was wrong of me to be involved with him, and a day never went by without me feeling guilty for helping James cheat on his girlfriend, but I came to terms with the end of us and I'm trying to move past that." I said my truth. "What I have done doesn't speak well of me at all, but Callum I want you to know that I tried to look away from him, but I couldn't. And I found myself in that kind of situation and letting it go was hard."

I was out of breathe then.

"A fling." He repeated as he pushed his hair back with his hand. "It looked more than that."

"I also don't know what to think. James confused me. One minute he's being clear and the next he's leaving behind lose ends and I can never decipher his actions. But what I'm sure of is that it's over now. He made that very affirmative."

Callum then said, "I don't know what it was that James told you concerning his ties with Merissa, and it's surely none of my business that you are convinced that she's the victim here, and not in my place to inform you that she isn't, but I'm glad that you and James are not together anymore. I don't mean to shade anyone but you obviously deserve better than this triangle."

I thought that Callum would jump straight into judging me for having an affair with a man who is taken but he showed no sign of judgement on his features. And I'm left in the dark here. I've been feeling guilty and I'm glad he isn't adding to my shame but what's going on?.

What does Callum mean by Merissa not being the victim? She got cheated on, how is she guilty of anything? This makes no sense.

And why is he referring to James's and Merissa's relationship as TIES!?

"Do you have feelings for him?" His eyes were looking intensely at me and I didn't faulter in mentaining eye contact.

"Does it matter?" I questioned. "He wants nothing to do with me."

"You know thats not true. If there is one thing I noticed is James wanting you. He practically pinned you to his side so you wouldn't leave him."

"Then I don't know." I mumbled in frustration as I got up from my seat. I tried not to pull my hair so hard as I twisted them in my fingers.

"I have no idea what I'm doing or what I'm feeling. Its like I'm losing my mind and I can't process this situation properly. I hardly remember the reasons that led me to agree to get into an affair with James or why I've been constantly hoping things would get back to normal but I know they won't ever. I don't even know what normal is anymore. Why am I here right now? This is confusing for me. And then you tell me these things I get fluttered and smile like an idiot but then I remembered James. I want to cry because I miss him so freaking much but after everything that has happened I know he's bad for me but I can't help how I feel. This.....is...too....much." I choked out as tears threatened to fall as I held my chest tightly trying to breath.

I wasn't looking at Callum anymore. I wasn't looking at anything.

"I suggest when you've figured everything out then you can give me a call." I heard Callum saying calmly.

"I've obviously been intangled in a rollercoaster that I had no idea even existed. In all this time I was hoping to start something with you, I was infact playing myself. And you being visibly confused is giving me even more reason to take a step back. But I can honestly hope that you'll be able to understand everything before I do. Then may be you can eventually help me understand too. And may be then we can start our own rollercoaster that isn't as emotionally messed up and twisted as the one that has been existent. I can not keep being part of this as long as you are still confused. When you've finally come to terms with this whole situation and ready to let this affair go, then I'll be waiting."

I turned to face him after hearing him out. His eyes held raw emotions and it honesty broke my heart to see him that way.

"I never meant for this to happen. I didn't want to keep this from you but I swore to keep the affair a secret and I couldn't tell the person closest to James without him telling you himself." I choked out. I let go of my chest the moment my breathing got even. But I wasn't feeling any better. Infact I was feeling much much worse after recollecting all that Callum said.

"I get it." He assured. "But it doesn't mean that I'm any less disappointed about finding this out though I appreciate finding out about all this sooner than later. Now I know where I stand. This is way better than waiting for James to say anything. Because he wanted to tell, he would have done it a long time ago."

"I'm so sorry." I moved towards the table. "I really am."

"I know you are." He bent his head low but slowly raised his eyes to meet mine again. "And I honestly can't help but feel like this is all my fault. James was in the picture before I even showed up. If you never met me that night, if we didn't end up spending the evening in that hotel, then none of this would have happened."

Is he being serious? How can he even blame himself for any of this? This affair was doomed from the start. This is infact all my fault for never being open from the start. And for being dumb enough to think I could forget being In love with one man today by jumping into another one the next.

"Please don't toss the blame on yourself. You didn't take that picture. Adrian did."

"Yeah I know. But I could have stopped him from taking and sharing that picture." He claimed.

"I could've stopped it too." I moved to stand next to him.

"But he's my brother not yours." He sighed.

"Do you regret it? That night? Do you regret ever meeting me." He shifted his gaze towards the lights.

I held his hand tightly then and he quickly turned to me in shock at the warm gesture.

"I'll never regret meeting you Callum. Regardless of the circumstances that led to our meeting, I'm happy that I got to know you. You're a good person Callum and anyone would be lucky to have you around." I said those words with all my heart.

He gave me a weak smile.

"I don't regret it either. I just wish things turned out differently."

"But then again there things that I would never want to change." He added shortly. "Like the night I kissed you or this dinner right here."

My heart warmed.

"When you're done clearing your head, and in the near future that you'd Invision after making up your mind, if by any chance you'll wish to include me in it then know I will be waiting for your call." He gave my cheek a warm kiss.

People like Callum do infact exist and one of them is standing right next to me holding my hand. I'm not worthy enough or deserving enough to even be part of his life and the fact that he's still giving me that option makes me feel lucky.

That night I went to sleep thinking about all the nevers and maybes mentioned in I and Callum's previous conversation.

And the only may be that still made sense was "may be one day we'll start our own rollercoaster that isn't so messed up"

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