It feels like a lifetime before I finally arrive at the one place where I always feel at home no matter how old I get. I park my car by the curb and grab my duffel bag before walking up the familiar stone pathway that leads to a two-story Victorian house I know all too well. It's still painted a pastel yellow just like I remember it.

I step up to the porch and see a woman sitting on the porch swing, hunched over her latest knitting project. I drop my duffel bag on the ground, making her jump in surprise, but the moment her eyes land on mine, her hazel eyes light up.

"Alexa! Is that really you?!" my mom exclaims in disbelief and I nod. She looks just like I remembered her. Her hair is black and curly like mine, but instead of keeping her hair long, she cuts it shoulder length. She likes the way it frames her beautiful, round face. It makes her look younger than her fifty-three years even with her graying roots.

Besides her hair, I also inherited her beautiful hazel eyes and her curvy figure, but unlike me, she has her curves in all the right places. I always envied her for that growing up, but eventually, I realized that it did me no good to envy what I couldn't have, and learned to simply see my mother as the beautiful woman she is. No one compares to her in my eyes and I recognize that she looks amazing for her age, and just hope that someday I can age as well as she has.

"It's me, mom." She quickly shuffles over to me, and pulls me into the warmest mama bear hug she could give me. I close my eyes and breathe in her vanilla perfume that has been her preferred scent for as long as I can remember. Every time I smell it or anything like it, I can't help but feel like I'm at home. This scent comforts me more than she will ever know. "I missed you mom," I whisper as I sniffle from the cry fest I had on my way over to my parent's house.

"I missed you too, sweetie," she says sincerely and kisses me on the cheek.

"Pumpkin, is that you?" I hear my dad say and pull away from my mom to see him standing on the porch with his arms wide open. I don't think twice and run straight into his open arms.

He wraps his arms around me tight, reminding me of all the times he comforted me when I would come home crying from school. He saw me cry more times than I can count, and held me in his arms each and every time but never complained once. He just held me in his arms and let me cry my heart out until I couldn't cry anymore, and I love him wholeheartedly for it.

He's still the same man that held me all those years ago, the only thing that has really changed about him is his hair, which is now pewter instead of its usual black. His eyes are also a bit more wrinkled in the corners, but other than that he still looks the same and is just as handsome, if not more than he was when I last saw him.

"What's wrong, pumpkin?" my dad asks me, pulling me out of my reverie, only to realize that I had started crying again.

"Nothing," I lie and wipe my tears before pulling out of his arms that have provided me so much comfort over the years.

"Are you sure?"

"I really don't want to talk about it right now if that's okay," I whisper.

"Of course, Sweetie. We can talk about whatever you want," my mom tells me as she steps up beside me and rubs my back.

"Thanks, mom."

"Go get settled in your room and when you're ready, come back out to hang out with your old dad and I," my mom insists axnd I nod.

"That sounds good," I tell her with a half-hearted smile, grab my duffel bag, and walk inside the house that saw me grow up since I was born. Even though it's old and has a lot of imperfections after all the years we lived in it, it's the most perfect house in my eyes because there will never be any place like this lovely place I call home.

I make my way past the living room and walk up the stairs towards my bedroom that my parents refused to change since the day I left. They told me it would always be my room no matter how old I got, and to this day they have kept to their word, leaving my room exactly how I left it before I moved out.

I walk up to the door of my old bedroom and find it slightly cracked open. I take a deep breath and slowly push the door open, exposing my turquoise bedroom that is filled with so many wonderful memories.

I step into my room and place my duffel bag on the bed before walking over to the windows and pulling the curtains fully open to let more light stream in. I look outside and see no movement from my old neighbor's back yards, which is probably a good thing. I don't want any of them to know I'm back because they'll want to come over and visit, and I'm in no mood for guests.

I sigh and walk over to my old bed and sit down, knowing that I can no longer avoid my obligations back home.

I grab my phone and see that I have twenty missed calls from Nate on my notifications bar. I swipe it away, making it disappear. If only it were that easy to make him disappear from my life and my heart.

I scroll through my contacts in search of Betty's name and find it. I consider calling her, but decide against it, afraid that I will break down over the phone. Instead, I text her.

Betty, I'm really sorry to do this to you, but I desperately need a few days off to clear my head.

I tell her honestly, hoping she will understand.

What's wrong?

Betty asks concerned, but as much as I want to tell her, I can't because I know she is somehow tied to Nate and I don't want her to get involved in our problems.

I can't explain right now, but I'm begging you to allow me to use a couple of my vacation days.

Okay, I won't pry, but I truly hope everything is okay. Take a few days off, relax, and when you're feeling up to it, come back. We'll miss you.

Thanks Betty, I'll miss all of you too. See you in a few days.

Bye, Alexa.

I finish my conversation with Betty just as another call from Nate enters my phone. I stare at his picture on my screen when a drop of water suddenly falls on his face. I lift my hand to my cheek and realize that I'm crying again. I wipe my tears away and let his call go to missed calls before looking for Mia in my contacts. I find her number and send her a text, not wanting to interrupt her date.

I'll be gone for a few days. See you when I get back.

I text her, not expecting a reply back, but within seconds I have a reply from her.

Why? What's wrong?!

She asks full of concern, and I wish I could tell her but I know right now is not the right time, especially not with the way I feel.

I can't talk about it right now, but just know that I'm staying with my parents for a few days. I'll be fine.

Are you sure?

Positive.

I lie, knowing full well that I am not okay, and will not be fine in a day or two.

Okay, if you need anything let me know.

I will. Thanks, Mia. I love and miss you already.

I miss you too! Stay strong.

She adds, not realizing just how much I needed to hear those words. Strong is the last thing I feel at this moment. If anything, I am broken and feeble.

I send Mia a heart emoji before turning off my phone and throw it over my shoulder onto the bed. I feel it land with a soft thud and leave it behind when I go join my parents outside on the porch.

"There you are," my mom says cheerfully as I sit down between her and my dad on the porch swing.

"Here I am," I respond with a sigh and a half-hearted smile.

"I know I said we wouldn't pry, but I'm worried about you, sweetie," my mom confesses and I am not one bit surprised. It's like her to worry about me.

"I know mom, but I promise you I will be okay," I reassure her, but I know deep down that it's just as big of a lie as the one I told Mia.

"Leave her alone, honey," my dad tells my mom, and I silently thank him as we make eye contact.

"How's work?" my dad asks me, changing the subject to safer territory.

"Good. I'm great at what I do," I answer with a shrug of my shoulders.

"What's it like dealing with crying brides?" my dad asks genuinely curious.

"It's hard!" I answer, with a chuckle, laughing for the first time since I left Nate behind. "Have you ever tried consoling a crying bride?" I ask my dad and he shakes his head.

"Not that I can recall."

"Well, you better pray it never happens, because if you ever thought my tears were bad, brides are ten times worse. They're completely inconsolable, but somehow I always manage to get through to them. I guess it's just sheer luck, to be honest."

"That sounds awful," my mom chimes in.

"It's even worse when a bride leaves the store disheartened, feeling like she's never going to find her perfect dress."

"I can only imagine," my mom comments with a shake of her head.

"But enough about brides. What have you two been up to since I last saw you?" I ask them and they both pipe up.

"I joined a knitting club to share my passion for knitting with other ladies. I also recently joined a book club, which is a lot of fun," my mom fills me in excitedly.

"That's great, mom. I'm so glad you found something you love," I tell her with a big smile before turning to my dad. "What about you, dad? What have you been up to?"

"Not much. I've just been working, and making things with my hands during my spare time."

"Like what?" I ask curiously.

"Bird feeders and things your mom can use around the house like cutting boards and whatnot."

"That's great. I'm so proud of you two for taking on new things," I tell them, placing my hands over theirs.

"Pumpkin, we're so glad you're here," my dad tells me and gives my hand a squeeze.

"Me too," I admit, regretting that I hadn't come back sooner, but I know full well that my parents would never hold it against me even if it took me years to come back and visit them. But I never plan on going that long without seeing them. I would feel terrible if I did.

"Alexa, is that you?" I hear a deep, husky voice ask.

I lift my gaze and meet a pair of emerald green eyes that are staring back at me with so much tenderness my heart begins to palpitate. "Johnny! I can't believe it's you!" I exclaim and jump up from where I'm sitting to give him a big hug. "It's been forever since I last saw you. When did you get back from Nevada?" I ask him as I step out of his arms.

"I've been back for a few months now and was surprised when I came to visit my parents and saw that your car was parked by the curb. I just couldn't believe you were here and had to see for myself that I wasn't imagining it."

"Well...surprise," I say a little too enthusiastically, making him laugh.

"You haven't changed one bit," he notes amused.

"Yeah, well you haven't either with the exception of that hairy animal you have growing on your face."

"You mean that thing called a beard," he says amused, bringing a smile to my face.

"Yes, that thing," I respond with a laugh. "That's about the only thing that is different about you. Other than that, you're still the same old Johnny I remember," I lie, refusing to admit that he's no longer the boy I remember.

I didn't want to see him as anything other than the boy he used to be, but no matter how much I lie to myself, I have to recognize that he's filled out well since I last saw him. He now has muscles where he never had them before and carries himself with so much confidence, you would never believe he was once a shy and sweet boy. He has a completely new demeanor about him that I never thought I would witness, but here he is, standing before me as a full-fledged man that no doubt makes women fall over themselves wherever he goes.

"I hope that's a good thing."

"It is. Change isn't always a good thing," I tell him and I meant it wholeheartedly. "Sometimes people are best left untouched," I add, bringing a smile to his face.

"I've missed you," he confesses.

"I missed you too, Johnny."

"How long are you here for?"

"Probably for three days. I can't afford to miss too much work."

"Guess that means we have to make up for lost time."

"I'd like that," I respond with a smile.

"Do you have any plans tonight?" he asks me and I look at my parents who shake their heads. "I'm only asking because I was actually going to go eat dinner, and was wondering if you would like to join me?" he asks, taking me by surprise.

"Uhhh...," I stammer not knowing what to respond.

"She'd love to go," my mom interjects, answering for me.

"But what about you two?" I ask them and they just smile.

"We'll still be here when you get back, pumpkin," my dad assures me, and I know he's right, but I still feel bad leaving them when I had just come home to visit.

"Sweetie, your father's right. Now go on and have some fun. You deserve it."

"Thanks, mom."

"So is that a yes?" Johny asks amused, pulling my attention back to him.

"I don't know," I respond and bite my lip. "Weren't you here to visit your parents?" I ask him, remembering what brought him to our old neighborhood to begin with.

"I can see them another time."

"But your pare-" I stammer and he cuts me off.

"I've already seen them a few times since getting back. I can come visit them another day."

"Are you sure?"

"I've never been more positive," he says with a big grin.

"Go on, pumpkin," my dad encourages me and I sigh.

"Fine. Why not? Let me go get my purse. I won't be long, I promise."

"No need. Dinner is on me."

"What if I didn't want my purse for my wallet? Perhaps it holds something else I want to take," I challenge, making him grin.

"Well then by all means go and get it. I can wait."

"I don't actually need anything from it, I was just messing with you, but thanks for offering to pay for dinner."

"It's my pleasure."

"Always the gentleman," I tease him.

"I try," he responds with a wink. "Now are you ready?"

"Depends. Do I look like a raccoon?"

"No, of course not. You look beautiful as always."

"Well thanks," I respond embarrassed. "That's not what I'm asking though. Is my mascara smeared around my eyes?"

"Not that I can tell."

"Mom?" I ask for her opinion, turning towards her.

"You look perfect, sweetie. Now go on and have fun."

"I trust that you two are not lying to me," I tell them and walk down the porch steps to stand beside Johnny. "Ready?" I ask him and he nods. "Good. Let's go. I'm starving," I admit, making him smile.

"Goodnight Mr. and Mrs. Williams," Johnny tells my parents politely. I can tell they are really smitten with him.

"Goodnight, Johnny," my parents say in unison, waving goodbye to us.

"I'll be back later," I tell them and they just nod before heading inside the house hand in hand. They make an adorable sight and I am happy to see that they are just as much in love as they were when I was a child.

We walk in the general direction of Johnny's parent's house, and the first thing I see is a red Chevy Camaro parked by the curb. It fits the new him perfectly.

"Craving anything in particular?" Johnny asks me and I shake my head.

"Surprise me!" I tell him, wanting to leave the choice up to him.

"It'll be my pleasure," he responds with a wink and holds the door open for me as I climb into the passenger seat of his Camaro.

"Your car is really nice," I comment, rubbing the dashboard of his Camaro.

"Thanks. It's my pride and joy," he admits with a rueful smile as he puts the key in the ignition.

"I can see why. It must have cost you a fortune," I comment as I buckle my seat belt.

"Something like that," he says with a shrug of his shoulders.

"So where are we going?" I ask, changing the subject.

"It's a surprise, remember?"

"The food is but the place doesn't have to be."

"Well I choose to make it a surprise so you just have to wait," he tells me with a smirk and drives off, leaving behind the street that saw us grow up so many years ago. I lean back on the seat and turn my head to the side, facing the window, so I can stare out the window at anything and everything.

The drive is silent but I appreciate that he doesn't try to fill the silence with small talk, and just lets me be inside my head while he drives.

I take the time to think to myself, so I can remember the day's events. Events that I wish were all some horrible nightmare, but that nightmare is now my new reality. A reality that I have to learn to live with, one in which Nate will no longer exist.

The thought alone makes my heart ache, but this is my life now and there is no turning back.