Amber

Riding alone with Devon was nice, although I could practically feel him weighing each word, trying to avoid pitfalls or uncomfortable topics. It made me feel guilty when I remembered my part in leaving him and what I had returned to and my stomach was sick with regret. It would help if he weren't so clearly constantly thinking about the mess between us.

"We're supposed to be moving past everything," I reminded him, keeping my voice meek. "Can't do that if you keep thinking about it."

"You're right," he agreed.

I cast around for something—anything—to talk about. "So, I don't actually know that much about you." Again, that was at least half my fault. I'd told him I would give him a chance, but then all I did was push him away. Why had I done that? It seemed ridiculous in retrospect.

"What do you want to know?"

"I don't know, anything, really?" Why was small talk the hardest talk? It would be easier if I could just sit and gawk at him. He really was a nice sight, even though the signs of the stress from our separation were still in the lines on his face and the weight he had lost. More guilt surged inside me.

"Well, I'm twenty-seven—I don't know if I ever told you that—and I've been running Marrowcliff since I was twenty-one."

"What happened to your parents?" I asked him. I hadn't met them, but he had indirectly brought them up, so asking was likely okay.

"My mother died from cancer five years ago. I took over the pack shortly after she was diagnosed since my father didn't take the news well. He only lasted a year after she passed away. He began taking bigger risks, and eventually took one too big so rogues got him."

"I'm sorry for asking," I said. There was pain in his voice and I only wanted to soothe it. I put my hand on his arm.

"It's no secret, and you can ask me anything."

"Then...I thought wolves didn't get diseases."

"If only. Cancer is rare, but when it hits, it hits hard. We're not immortal, just hardier than you humans, at least from what I've heard. I haven't had tons of contact with humans before you."

"No? Well, I hadn't even seen an actual werewolf before you capture-saved me. They didn't exactly bring them to the hunter's residential areas."

He looked pained again. "I regret the way I treated you when I first found you."

I shrugged. "You couldn't have known I wasn't an enemy."

"You didn't act like one. You acted like a frightened prisoner. Exactly what you were."

"Well, I was afraid. You're pretty intimidating, you know."

"You know I'd never hurt you willingly, right?"

In my head I could understand that, but my experiences had made it difficult to accept. "I know you wouldn't."

That tinge of uncertainty apparently came through, because he looked defeated. I wonder if he too was remembering how his wolf had tried to force his mark on me when I had first suggested leaving him.

It seemed no matter what we did, we always wound back to feeling sad and uncomfortable.

"Would it help if I let you mark me?" I asked him.

The car lurched for a second before he righted it, and I grabbed onto the edge of the seat to steady myself, instantly regretting my words. I hadn't been thinking about how he would react. "I'm sorry," I said, feeling like a fool and wanting to avoid any possible anger.

"No, no don't be," he said quickly, his voice strained. "What do you mean, would it help?"

"Would it help your wolf if I did? I know he wanted to...back then, but I don't really know how it works. I mean, the hunters know wolves do it, but they seem to view marked wolves as a two for one deal. You know, kill one, kill one free? They don't really know anything deeper about it, I don't think. I just know there would be some sort of deeper connection..."

He kept his eyes on the road, and his hands gripping the wheel. "It would help my wolf feel more secure, but it's not something you can easily come back from. Rejecting a mate after marking is painful for both parties, so it's a big step. If I did mark you, our bond would strengthen, and you'd be able to speak to me through my mind the same way my pack does."

"But I'm human. Would it work like that for me?"

"Human mates are rare, but they do happen, and they can be linked the way a werewolf can, both to mate and then to pack. Humans just can't establish it themselves."

"You're sure?"

"I did my research after I found you."

I exhaled. Being apart from him had been hard on me, and obviously on him as well. Going forward made me nervous, but I'd already tried to leave and I didn't want to repeat it. I was going to let him do it, but I wasn't going to tell him now. I'd already learned my lesson about mentioning it while we were hurtling down a highway.

—————

We stopped for a break and joined my friends at a diner for lunch. Dan and Sarah got out of his car, looking suspiciously as thick as thieves. It was a bit of a surprise considering how poorly they had gotten along at the beginning, but I supposed they now had a common enemy...my mate.

It seemed nothing could ever be easy.

I sat beside Devon in the restaurant, and Dan and Sarah sat on the other side of the table. We ordered, and my two friends proceeded to demonstrate just how wise we had been to take two vehicles, because I wasn't sure I could have taken hours of this in an enclosed space with them.

"How's the drive been for you, Amber?" Sarah asked.

"It's been nice."

"Has it?" Dan asked.

I really hated when he responded like that, the doubtful question. "Yes. We've been talking."

"Oh. What about?" Sarah asked, her tone light, although I sensed the opposite underneath.

"A bunch of things, like what happened to his parents and other things we can't really talk about in public." I eyed her, trying to make her get the hint.

She glared at Devon. "You never told her about your parents before?"

Devon didn't react. "It never came up."

"I'll bet it didn't. Maybe you were too busy—"

Devon scowled at Sarah and she met his gaze for a long moment, before she backed down.

"Don't push her around," Dan said, frowning protectively.

Maybe leaving the two of them alone hadn't been so smart after all, since they'd apparently fed off of each other's anger.

Devon clenched his jaw, but otherwise did not react. "I'm not pushing her around."

"Looked like it to me." Why wouldn't Dan just let it go?

"Listen, this is none of either of your business," Devon said, maintaining steady eye contact with the vampire.

Dan was starting to look as angry as Sarah. "You can't order me around. I'm not one of your little lapdogs who has no choice but to obey."

Sarah glared at Dan. "Hey!"

"No offense," he responded quickly, not stopping his hostile stare down with Devon.

The waitress came by with our food, and everyone suddenly seemed to remember that they were in a restaurant full of oblivious humans. They hadn't said anything too bad, but I suddenly realized that the little confrontation had drawn curious attention from nearby tables. Shouldn't they be better at not being obvious?

She quickly placed our plates in front of us and refilled our coffees, before retreating. She was clearly uncomfortable with the tense atmosphere.

I was uncomfortable with it, too, but even more than that I was annoyed with all three of them for making a scene. We ate our meals in terse near silence, everyone only speaking occasionally.

I didn't talk much either. I was nervous, because I had a few things to say myself...once we were safely out of the other humans' earshot.