Amber

Dan and Sarah walked back towards his car once we left the restaurant, and I followed them. Devon walked with me with a concerned look on his face. "Are you going to go with them now?" he asked. Was that disappointment in his low voice, or was it just resignation?

I shook my head. "No."

My response drew my friends' attention and they both looked back at me. Since there weren't any humans nearby, I decided this was as good of a place as any to say what I needed to say.

I inhaled, and tried to ignore my nervousness. It was still so hard to speak my mind. "I appreciate both of your support," I began, "But I've already tried to leave him and it wasn't good for either of us. So I've decided I'm going to accept the bond, and that means you two attacking him doesn't help me."

I looked directly at Dan. "I get why you're angry, and I'm not asking you not to feel it, I'm just asking you to hold back a bit, for me."

And then I narrowed my gaze at Sarah. "I appreciate everything you've done for me, but you wanted me to go back to him, and now that I have you're on the other side? Are you trying to make things harder for me?"

"Well, he betra—"

"And that's between me and him. I'm not even a wolf and I know that having the alpha getting along with his mate is good for the pack, so shouldn't you be happy for me and your cousin? If I'm forgiving him there's no reason for you not to. I know you missed your home."

She pursed her lips, but nodded.

"I'll see you both at the next stop."

Sarah nodded at me again, and Dan shot me a small smile of understanding. At least I'd probably gotten through to one of them.

—————

Devon was quiet as we got into the car. I had no way to know what he might be thinking and I didn't want to disturb him from his thoughts.

I sat and looked out the window as we drove along, the car silent except for the hum of the vehicle.

It startled me when he broke the silence. "You're serious about accepting our bond?" he asked.

I shrugged. I kept staring out the window at the passing scenery. "Running away didn't do much good. I don't think I have a better choice."

He was quiet. "So you're still trapped."

"As much as you. You didn't get to choose, did you? You got stuck with a pathetic human."

"I don't feel stuck or trapped, not when you're with me," he said. "And it never bothered me you were human, I was just angry when I thought you were one of the enemies who stole my sister."

"Well, don't worry so much about it. Maybe everyone has chains they can't escape. At least these ones don't feel so heavy. I think...I trust you."

He was quiet. "That means more than you know."

—————

The trip was long, and I was stiff and sore by the time we got back to my apartment, although not tired, since I'd spent some time napping on the journey. Dan and Sarah made slightly better time than us since they had two drivers, so Sarah was already inside and Dan was long gone by the time we arrived at my building.

"I guess I didn't think this through so well. You okay with sleeping on the couch? Or maybe I should since I'm smaller than you. My bed isn't huge, but at least it's better," I said, looking worriedly at Devon.

"I'm used to couches. Or, we could grab a hotel," he commented.

I didn't like that idea. I wanted to have time to say goodbye to my temporary near-independence. And I was comfortable here.

Like he read my mind, he added, "But here's fine, too. I'll just sleep on the floor."

"I can't ask you to do that."

"Nah, it's fine for a couple of weeks. I can rough it. I'm on vacation."

"You never take vacations," Sarah commented as she walked by in the hall.

"You sure you don't like the idea of a hotel?" he whispered near my ear. His breath tickled my skin and sent heat down to build inside me.

"We can if you want," I said, giving in. Avoiding Sarah's mood didn't sound like such a bad idea, either.

"No, here's fine."

"Are you sure?" I asked. I didn't want him to be inconvenienced for me. Who knew what he thought since he'd changed his mind so suddenly.

He grabbed my chin and tilted my face up to look at him. "I'm sure. If our bond is a chain, I want it to be the most pleasant captivity for you possible."

My heart beat as I tilted my head towards him. Those grey eyes bore down into mine like he saw all of me. But somehow it wasn't bad.

"I've decided I'm going to let you mark me," I whispered, hoping Sarah couldn't overhear from the kitchen with her keen werewolf hearing.

His eyes widened and flickered gold. "Are you sure?"

I swallowed past the nervous lump in my throat and nodded. I'd probably never be completely certain about anything, but it seemed to be the best direction to go. "Yeah."

I half expected him to do it then and there, transform into his monstrous wolf and bite me, but he didn't. It was probably just as well, since Sarah wasn't far away. And I wasn't sure I could not panic if he did that, even though I reminded myself that Devon wouldn't hurt me.

Even more surprising, under my fear, some deep part of me was almost disappointed that he didn't. Did that mean I wanted him to, at least some primal part of me? It was strange and unexpected and made me question what I thought I knew about myself.

I did want freedom and independence, but could I also want the constraining bond and Devon along with it? Maybe I could find some middle ground where I could be content between the two contradictory extremes.

It was worth thinking about, but later, because Sarah had apparently ordered pizza, and Devon and I went out to join her.

Apparently she'd taken my words to heart, because she had stopped sending Devon covert glares when she thought I wouldn't notice. I'd had to learn to assert myself sometimes while living with Sarah, because her personality could be overwhelming, but maybe that was something I needed to learn. The meal was awkward, but not as bad as the one in the diner. Afterwards Sarah took off to her room, leaving me sitting at the table with Devon. She reappeared a moment later.

"Well, I'm heading out with the girls since we won't be here that long, and I want to see them before I go as much as possible. I'm going to tell them that I'm moving back home, because...?"

Devon looked towards her. "Tell them the family business needs you. It's more or less true."

"Well, what do I say about Amber then?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

He shrugged and looked at me.

"Just tell them you got me a job there, too, if they ask."

"Fair enough. Simple lies are the easiest to remember. I'll try not to fabricate too much." Like a gust of wind, she was out the door and gone, leaving me all alone with Devon.