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My palms were sweaty just by sitting on this comfy couch, which was so uncomfortable by the tense stare Dr. Melanie was giving me.

It has been a while I had my last session with her, which was horrible, cause I was not in my right mind. After the incident, the guilt was on me, Ethan left me too.

I remembered when i ran out of the room cause it was too suffocating to breathe. I was just not ready for anything. When I first started having nightmares and Panick attacks, dad suggested I should see Dr. Melanie, thought her therapy would help.

I wish she could.

It was a daytime, sun was setting. The atmosphere was calm and relax but my entire body was on fire. I gulped as I rubbed my hands on my washed jeans.

"Isn't it a beautiful day," She gazed at the sky and smiled. The sunsetting was leaving behind the orange sheet like a painting.

"Yeah... it is," I nodded slightly. I had nothing against this therapy but it just made things worse in my case.

"And How are you Aria?" She turned to me with a smile on her face."Your Dad said you're having nightmares again?"

Dad did call her in concern of my nightmares. He seemed pleased with my decision to give these session another chance.

She was a young lady, I didn't know that much about her, cause I never tried to intrude in her personal life.

She had hair tied in low bun. She was wearing a lose peach colored T- shirt with white jeans.

"Yeah I'm good, just some sleepless nights." I hesitated as my voice was almost inaudible but she kept a small smile on her face.

She shifted in her chair, more towards me.

"So what do you see in your nightmares?" She asked softly. This is the scariest part where you have to repeat everything what you were trying to forget.

"I... I..was in some r-room," I felt cold suddenly. My PTSD had gotten worse day by day.

Was the heater not working?

She nodded and gestured me to continue as she wrote down something in her journal placed on her lap. I was looking anywhere but her.

"It was d-dark and.... she was in there_____ in a hospital," Pausing, I took a deep breathe. I could do it.

"Who exactly?" She bent a little forward, placing her elbows on her thighs.

Was there no other way like eat any medicine and just forget everything and start like you're new born? Far away from everyone, where no one knew you.

"Who Aria?" I looked up in her eyes which were so waiting for me to continue.

"I have told you a-already, why again?" I asked shaking slightly.

I had told her the same thing in every session, yet again. It was too hard for me to see beth leaving me on that bed. She was my best friend. Yet just one mistake and I lost her.

I was finally feeling a bit good, not thinking too much of how it all happened, there was no way I'm repeating and pushing myself deep in dark again.

"I s-should go," I stood up shaking. The flashes were coming and I didn't want that.

"Aria calm down," Dr. Melanie tried but I was at door already.

"Aria wait!" She stood up and placed her journal on the desk as she started coming towards me but before she could further I snapped.

"SHE WASN'T BREATHING OKAY!!!, BECAUSE-" I stopped. No matter what I do, the blame comes on me in the end. I curled my hand in a fist and tried to stay calm.

"Because of me," I whispered as I turner around ran out of the room, closing the door with the loud thud.

°°°°°°

V

I looked around the street which was filled with small houses. This Area was not so known, mostly low class.

The fact that beth was from a poor family never bothered me or my friends. We were always so close to even die for each other.

I looked at my black SUV parked in front of gate away. It was the only one luxurious car here as some neighbors were staring at it from behind the curtains of their houses. I knocked on the door three times patiently.

The door creaked opened after some time as the man squinted his eyes setting it to beam of daylight outside compared to how dark it was inside, as I peaked.

"Who is it?" He said with weak hoarse voice. He himself looked so weak. Since beth died, he was the man who suffered the most.

Beth's father.

"It's me Ethan, John," Answering I stepped back. He was a weak old man, with a little subtle and glasses. His skin was wrinkled all over his hands and face.

Poverty destroyed him.

He always treated me, Aria and my friends as his own children. He was a single father with two daughters, now just an alone man with Sophia.

Sophia was Beth's younger sister. She was fourteen and had this shy personality. When beth died, she was unable to sink the reality. Maybe she was gone to her art class now that she always loved.

"Ethan Anderson," He covered his shock face as he open the door. "Come on in son."

I entered to nothing but walls with ruptured paint. The roof which hold so many of our good memories when we used to come together here is all rusty. The corners had old spider webs and dusty smell filled my nose as I coughed a little.

"Why are you here son?" He asked to me. He didn't know about my departure too.

"I'm here John, I know you must have lost every hope," I moved forward and hold his veiny hands. "But I will get justice for beth, I promise you that."

He smiled a little, before patting me on my shoulder slightly. The look on his face was so calm.

"She said the same thing," I looked at him with perplexed expressions. What was he talking about?

She?

He must've noticed the creased lines on my forehead, as he continued.

"Aria."

When everything happened, he never believed that Aria killed beth. Maybe because he didn't see what I did. My heart was beating crazily yesterday when I saw her after this long time. But my anger was taking over me. We didn't say anything to each other.

°°°°°°

I opened the door and entered to empty hall. I closed it as my body pressed against it and I slid down.

Dad wasn't home and I couldn't be alone right now. I stood up and rushed upstairs to my bedroom. I turned on the lamp and went to my side table and searched for my bottle.

I took it out from the drawer and held the bottle in my hand and took out four pills.

There was no other way to escape.

I put them in my mouth and drank the water from the bottle placed on the side table.

Ethan and I didn't talk yesterday, he left the school while we were in cafeteria. I was so happy to see him but he just took no notice of me.

Why fate had to do this to us?

I lied down on my bed, under the blanket and started to count to ten. My whole body was shivering. Even I knew I didn't kill beth, people made me feel all this.

My mind felt heavy and my body relaxed as I fell asleep. I didn't know what was I doing to myself.

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