[The episode starts with tons of virus organisms on Wallace's skin, then one of them stands on a hill-like lump of fur]

: Brothers, we've mutated many times over for this moment, but now we are ready. Today, we take this body; tomorrow, the REST OF THE WORLD![The virus army starts cheering and raising their fists]

: None will be safe from our infection! Our glory will be greater than the pox, the plague, and bird flu combined![One virus grunts as he pounds his chest]

: [Raises his fist] Follow me to the nostril!

: Hoorah![The army follows the leader as he charges, but they all stop when the ground starts to shake]

: Huh?[Scene changes to the school corridor where Jenny is forcing Wallace to wash his hand; Timon and Pumbaa stands nearby, watching them]

: [Struggling] Get off! Why don't you clean your own hand, you clean freak?!

: Wash it now, you disgusting biohazard!

: [To Timon and Pumbaa] Man, for a 7-year-old girl she's surprisingly strong.

: I think it's more like you're surprisingly weak.

: [To Jenny] I don't want to wash it! [Continues to resist Jenny's efforts]: What is your problem?!

: [Sighs] He got a high five from Lenny three months ago and refused to wash it since.

: [Shocked] Don't tell me you haven't showered in ninety days.

: Of course I've showered, I'm not an art student. I just wrap my hand in swimming trunks to keep it dry.

: Ask him how often he washes those.

: You don't wash swimming trunks, Pumbaa, they clean themselves when you swim. [Puts his hands on his chin] Right?

[Jenny backs away in disgust]

: Ewwww! When Lenny hears that, she'll be so horrified that her antlers will turn white.

: Please don't tell her![Wallace stares at his hand, pondering]

: What if I just cut it off and keep it in a memory box?

: [Grabs Wallace's hand and drags it into the fountain] Just wash it!

: [While his hand gets washed] Noooooooooo![High-pitched "Nooo" sounds are heard from Wallace's hand, followed by drowning sounds]

: Did you hear that?

: What?

: Kinda sounded like a choir of gnomes going down a waterslide.

: What, like- [Imitates the sounds almost perfectly]

: Yeah... exactly.

: Nah, didn't hear it.[Camera zooms into the sink where the Virus Leader, the only survivor, is lying flat on his face]

: [Wakes up] I will find you, and when I do, I swear on my fallen comrades, I will infect you, and I will destroy you, and then I will take over your family, your friends and I won't stop until nothing is left alive on the surface of the Earth! DO YOU HEAR ME?![Camera zooms out, showing an empty school corridor]

: [High-pitched voice] DO YOU HEAR ME?!

[The school bell rings and the scene changes to the school library where Wallace and several students are playing Cool math. When the librarian walks past, all of the students pretend to do homework]

: [Makes a bad impression of Jenny] You may want to clean up the alien slime on your laser gun. You could get sick from that!

: [Imitates Jenny as well] I always carry my intergalactic antibacterial gel in case I need to interfere with people's lives.

[The 3 of them snicker]

: [Appears out of nowhere] I'm right here, you know![Timon, Wallace and Pumbaa scream]

and : Sorry.

[Jenny closes the Space Invader game and uses the internet]

: Hey, I just picked up the proton bazooka!

: If you think germs are so funny, then maybe you should look at this!

[Jenny enters a website using the keyboard]

: OH MY GOSH, what is that?

: That's my mom. This is her website. She's a doctor.

and : Oh.[Jenny goes to another page]

: OH MY GOSH! WHAT IS THAT?!

: That is what happens to a finger if you don't disinfect a cut.

: It looks like a purple foot covered in mayo![Jenny squirts some sanitizing gel onto her hand]

: And that only came from a paper cut!

: GIVE ME THAT![Pumbaa grabs Jenny's bottle of sanitizer and rubs it all over himself, growing multiple arms in the process]

: [To Jenny] Can you do my back?

: [Makes a impression of Jenny] Oh no, evil germs are out to get us! [Changes back to his normal voice] The germs are fine, kid. They're part of life, that's Mother Nature trying to make you stronger.

: Oh really? You do know that the keyboard you just used has more germs on it than a toilet seat?

[Timon sighs and licks the keyboard. Then the camera zooms into the keyboard where the Virus can be seen

]: YES! My chance for revenge! [Bacteria start appearing behind him] Huh? Stay back, bacteria, he's mine!

: Come on, virus, there's plenty to share!

[Bacteria starts charging towards Wallace's tongue]

: I SAID GET BACK!

: [While the Virus hits them] Right at the flagella! Right at the ribosomes![The Virus grabs one of the bacteria and uses it as a weapon]

: Dude, not the cytoplasm![The Virus smacks another bacteria]

: It hurts me too you know![The Virus throws the bacteria towards a giant blue bacteria]

: Ahhhhh![One of the bacteria gets past the virus and reaches the tongue]

: Hey! I said get back![The Virus catches the bacteria and shoots him like a torpedo towards the other bacteria, causing a big blue explosion]

: Hahhaha! [Turns around] Huh? [Sees Timon's tongue and it's leaving in the keyboard] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

: Nearly there... just focusing... and... yep. You're right. There's definitely no hair on your behind. [Places microscope back]

: I don't think you'll ever grow a beard, Pumbaa.

[Pumbaa whimpers]

: You do know there are more germs on a pair of buttocks than the toilet seat, right

: [Scoffs] I don't care. I'm one of those people who never get sick anyway.

: What, a liar?

: No, I just tell my body not to get sick.

: [Sarcastically] Oh really? And how do you do that?

: The power of the mind over the flesh. I can control any part of my body. Watch.[Timon moves his ears all the way down to his chin. He then rotates his arms and torso as his legs move straight up and down]

: You believe me now?

: Uh, yeah, sure.

: Good, 'cause now you're gonna have to take me to the infirmary.

[Scene changes to the infirmary. Timon is on the bed, stuck in his pose]

: [Examining Timon] Well, your heart's in your stomach and you'll be breathing out of your arm for a while but apart from that you're hunky-dory. [Fixes Timon's arms]

: Ow!

[Wallace, Timon and Pumbaa hug, sighing with relief]

: What? Where did you get your diploma? The World College of Ducks? 'Cause you're a certified quack! You haven't run a blood test, taken a temperature or even an x-ray!

: He's fine, he just needs to walk it off.

: I'm talking about me! [Points at Timon, Pumbaa & Wallace] I've been in contact with these germ-bags all day! [Weak voice] I can feel myself getting ill...

: Hmm, like Monday, when you thought the foam in your mouth was rabies only to discover it was toothpaste? Or Tuesday, when you thought you broke your leg? Or yesterday, when you thought you'd gone deaf because nobody had spoken to you for five minutes?![Jenny inhales angrily, and sighs as she droops her head]

[The scene changes to the school lab. Wallace, Pumbaa, Timon and Jenny are using microscopes]

: [To Jenny] You know, I think I've actually found a disease you suffer from. Attention-seeking-itis. [gasps] Dr. Wally, is there a cure?

: [Deep voice, pretending to be a doctor] Yes, getting a life.

[Pumbaa, Timon and Wallace, Jenny plucks a strand of hair from Wallace]

: Ow!

: I just needed a hair sample. [Looks at the strand through the microscope, then gasps]

: [Sighs] Lemme guess, you found a deadly virus previously unknown to science, and it's coming after us.

: Yes, exactly.

: [Sarcastically] Oh no! What should we do, Dr. Wally?

: [Pretends to be a doctor again] I recommend a high-dose treatment of sarcastic looks.[Timon, Wallace and Pumbaa fold their arms and look sarcastically at Jenny]

: Could you at least look at it?[The boys do not respond. Jenny sniffs, and a tear comes on her cheek]

: [Sighs] Alright, whatever. [Jumps on and looks through microscope] What the heck?[Camera zoons in on the microscope, with the Virus seemingly insulting Timon]

: [Off-screen] Guys, she's right! There's a virus. And he's making rude gestures at me with those little tentacles![Wallace and Pumbaa looks through the microscope as well. They sees The Virus grow wings]

: [Off-screen] What does it mean when a virus grows wings?

: [Panicks] Let me look. [Looks through microscope][The Virus starts flying towards them]

: [Gasps] It's mutated and gone airborne.

[Scene changes to the Blake living room. The kids are on the couch. Each are wearing protective gear: Timon and Pumbaa are wearing a helmet, Wallace has a plastic inflatable ball over his head; Jenny has a vest on. Wallace is browsing on his laptop]

: Which virus do you think it is?

: Let's read the symptoms.

: [Sighs] What's the point? We'll never know which virus it is if it's always mutating. [Whispers] They're the worst, they always find a way to get you.

: Then we need to fight fire with fire! [Concentrates]

: What are you two doing?

: Trying... to... mutate! [Cracks his helmet] Ah![The laptop beeps]

: [Gasps] An email from free online medication without prescription![He clicks on it]

: Virus detected. Initiating virus protection protocol-[The laptop screen glitches, and it shuts down]

: Hmm, maybe it's just rebooting.[The laptop starts growling and moving on its own]

: Uhh, did you see that?[Pumbaa, Jenny and Timon have leaped out of their protective gear and the couch. The laptop starts attacking Wallace]

: Can I get a little help over here?!

: Try to turn it off and on.[The laptop bites at Wallace, and tears off the ball on his head. It spits it out and jumps at Wallace again]

: Ahh! Guys! Unplug it! [Runs away]

[The laptop growls at Timon and Pumbaa and starts barreling towards them. Timon and Pumbaa screams as the laptop nears, but then Jenny charges in and douses the laptop using a mug of water. The laptop's screen turns blue, then shuts down. Shortly afterward, a jolt of electricity emanates from the computer and makes its way though the charger to the electrical port near Timon and Pumbaa, producing loud static which surprises him]

: Ah! I told you PCs were unreliable.

[The Virus' face appears on the TV screen]

: You thought you had escaped me, but you thought wrong. I am a warrior who can never be defeated. I have mutated and now I'm gonna take-[Wallace mutes the TV]

: Let's get out of here while he's still talking [His hand goes towards the doorknob]

[A compact disk flies at the door, embedding itself into the wood. The Virus starts launching CDs from the stereo]

: Huh? Get down! It's a multi-changer! [They take cover behind the sofa]

: How did he get into the stereo?!

: He's mutated and infected the entire electrical system!

[Several appliances start floating and moving towards the sofa.]

: Every electrical device in this house is coming after us, it'll be safer if-[An electric razor attacks Timon]

: Ahh! [Sits up; his eyebrows are missing] Aww man, not the eyebrows!

: How exactly do you feel about that? Angry? Surprised? Upset? I can't tell.[Timon grows his eyebrows back]

: Oh.

: On my command! Three! Two! One![The music stutters, and the disk slot on the stereo opens]

: Go![The kids run into the kitchen]

: How did you know that would happen, Pumbaa?

: Our mixtape is all scratched up. It always jams. [Screams; the waffle iron has clamped onto his foot] The waffle iron!

: Oh my gosh! Your hoof! Is it burning?

: [Calmly] Nah, I overreacted. It's warming up really slowly. [Removes the iron from his hoof]

[The toaster starts shooting bread at them, so they take cover behind the fridge door]

: But what do you want from us?

: [Using the boombox] I want my vengeance! You washed away my army, and now you shall PAY!

: [to Jeny] I told you I shouldn't have washed my hands. [To the Virus] Well you're not gonna destroy us with pastry! [Gets a mouthful of pastry in his mouth]

: The pastries were just a decoy, my friend.[The microwave crackles and shoots rays out, burning the Jackson' s roast turkey next door. Timon, Pumbaa, Wallace and Jenny run out to the backyard]

: Shh, what's that sound?[Scene changes to the shed. A rotary saw blade flies out the door. They duck.]

: Watch out! [Timon, Wallace and Pumbaa scream in surprise] No, behind you! [Points

[The lawnmower bursts out of the shed. They dodge it. They jump over the fence, and the lawnmower plows right into the fence]

: [Panting] That was close. We should be safe out here, there's no electrical stuff.

[The lawnmower bumps into a parked car. A wave of electricity washes over the car and it starts. The virus' face appears on the car's sattnav]

: System online.

[The Virus laughs evilly]

: Oh man, he's mutated again![Several cars nearby also start, then they barrel towards the kids, who then run away]

: I've got an idea! [Flips a stop sign towards the cars][The cars completely ignore the sign, plowing into it as they continue the chase]

: I thought he'd at least slow down at the stop sign.[The cars surround them]

: Quick! Down the alley![The cars follow them down the alley, and corner them. Wallace steps forward and berates the Virus]

: Hey, Virus?! Where's the honor in this?! Five cars against 4? I thought you were a warrior, not a coward!

: Who are you calling a coward?! I don't need an army to take you down!

: Then come out and fight me like a man.

: You're on![The cars turn off; one of the cars get the hood flipped open, revealing the Virus]

: I hope your body is ready, because I'm gonna turn it into a cesspit of pain. Not just regular pain, it will be a seven-course banquet of pain. There will be a starter of suffering, a fish course of torment, and excruciating dessert! And just when you think you're full, you'll be served... a coffee and biscotti of misery![Wallace simply steps on the Virus, producing a "squish" sound and subsequently ending the episode]