《The Wallace, Timon and Pumbaa Show》Episode 2: The Wolf
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[The episode starts at the DVD 2010 store, with a line of people including Joseph, Cindy, Chris, Duncan, Mr. Pops, Sally, and Lola, all looking impatient. Wallace, Timon and Pumbaa are at the front of the line, trying to pay for their DVD, but an invisible wall prevents Wallace from handing over the DVD to Carl]
: [Sighs] What is wrong with you this time?
: [Struggles to give Carl the DVD] This movie is so sucky that my body refuses to rent it.
: Then don't rent it and get outta here.
: I can't, I promised my sister.
: [Sighs and puts his hands out] Give me that, kid. Me and Pumbaa will do it.
[Wallace hands over the DVD to Timon and Pumbaa who then takes a deep breath and runs towards Carl, but an invisible force field repels them to the floor]
: You're right, this film is so bad that every atom in our body refuses to pay to see it.
: [Grabs DVD from Timon] Oh come on, it can't be that bad. [Gasps loudly] A Wolf's Tail?! Wow. Okay, I'm gonna rent this for you or we're gonna be here all day. Maybe if I hide it between my good films, my mind will be tricked.
: Lola! Lola! Lola! Lola!
[Lola tries to push her DVDs through the invisible force field]
: [While pushing the DVD through] It's not working!
: Come on, kid!
[Lola manages to push the DVD through and causes a big blue flash of light. Afterwards, the 4 walk out of the store]
: You know, there are easier ways to hurt your eyes. [Hands the pony DVD to Wallace] You could pour salt in them while you stare at the sun, for example.
: I'm sorry, Lola. It's just I promised Emmie we'd do something she wanted today.
: We didn't realize how unbearable it'd be, and we haven't even watched it yet.
: Come on, we're already late.[The trio run off-screen]
[The trio stops at a pedestrian crossing]
: Uh, Guys. We're gonna get the face when we get home.
: What? This one? [He starts frowning]
: No, that's silent fury. What we're going to get is "I know you let me down".
: Oh. [He starts frowning differently]
: [Points at Timon] That's it. But don't forget the slow head shake.[Timon starts shaking his head slowly]
: I can handle that, as long as we don't get the "you mean nothing to me" back turn.
[The traffic light changes to the green walking man, so the trio start running across the road]
: Don't worry, as long as nothing gets in our way, we'll be fine.
[The scene changes to a row of stores where a blue repairman is working on a truck next to an open manhole; Pete is jogging along, but falls and gets stuck in the manhole in front of the trio. They stop beside him, then everybody looks at the teal tow truck driver]
: ...What?!
: Uhhh, don't you think you should help that guy? You clearly took the cover off.
: So? You guys are way closer, that means it's your problem.
: Uhh, can I get a little help here?
: Listen, man, we'd love to help, but we're kind of in a hurry.
: Well, I'm kind of in a manhole.
: Which you wouldn't be stuck in if you weren't quite so--
: What, fat?!
: [Nervously] No. What I meant was-
: Voluptuous?! Flesh-ripped?! ?!
A/N: 😂🤣 Horizontally tall.
: DISTRACTED! I WAS GONNA SAY "DISTRACTED"! [Shakily] I think you're a beautiful man.
: Still, what kind of bozo runs around not looking where he's going, blindly texting on his phone?
: I wasn't texting, I was updating my status so everyone knows I'm jogging.
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: Why?
: [Looks down in disappointment] To get those little thumbs-ups on Instagram.
: [Sighs] Alright, let's get you out of here, you attention hog.
: [Calls Emmie from a payphone; Emmie looks furious] Heeeey! You're doing the face, aren't you?
: Why are you late?!
: Heh heh, well, funny story, uh, we were helping a guy out of a manhole and we--
[Timon and Pumbaa can be seen tying Martin with rope to a truck in the background]
: No need to lie. It's obvious you guys don't wanna watch the movie with me.
: Oh, no, that's not true. I can't wait to watch [Loudly] SOME KID TRYING TO TAME A STUPID WOLF JUST TO IMPRESS SOME FOPPISH FAMILY FROM FLORIDA! [Normal voice] Sorry, I didn't mean to say that. It's just that my brain refuses to let me lie about this film.
: Just hurry up, okay? [Hangs up phone]
[Scene cuts to Bob and Timon and Pumbaa waiting for the truck to move]
: Uh, are you sure this is a good ide-AH! [Truck pulls him out of the manhole]
: There. Whose problem is it now?
: [With haste] Guys! We need to get home! She's already at a force five on the guilt trip scale!
: [Appears in front of the boys] Hey! What's up, guys?!
: [Nervously] Heeeeeey... Job?
: [His smile fades] Did you just call me "Job" like it was a question?
: [Facepalms] Ha! Did I say "Job"? I'm-I'm sorry, dude. I meant, uh... your name.
: Which is?[The trio laugh nervously]
: Which is?![The trio sigh. Pumbaa opens his mouth as if he remembers, but does not]
: JACOB! My name is Jacob!
: Jacob! Of course, man, I'm sorry. Hey listen, we're in a massive hurry, but we should totally hang out soon. I'll-I'll call you, bro.[The trio start to leave, but Jacob blocks their path again]
: You don't have my number. You don't remember me at all, do you? And this! This is just some hollow promise!
: Hey, it's not that! We've just been distracted because uh... ha ha, the funniest thing just happened. See that hole?[Jacob leans over the manhole to look. Pumbaa kicks him down the hole]
: Pumbaa! I can't believe you just did that!
: Did what?
: Uh... I don't remember...
[Emmie is in the Blake's living room. She sighs, and suddenly sees Jack eating a slice of pizza. Jack sees her and "unchews" the pizza]
: Dad, am I boring?
: Of course not, cupcake.
: Then why don't the boys want to hang out with me?
: Uh... uh... [Thinking to himself] Think, Jack, think! Your little girl is feeling insecure. This is a real parenting situation. What you say now can affect her for the rest of her life, so say the right thing. Say the right thing! [To Emmie] The right thing!
: What?
: Speak to your mother! [Runs away]
[Pumbaa running down the street with Timon on his back, a tired Wallace following behind them]
: [Out of breath] I gotta stop, guys. I can't keep running like this.
: [Timon and Pumbaa returns to Wallace] C'mon! You can do it! It's all in the mind!
: You don't understand. My legs have given up. I even have a cramp in my bones.
: Your legs haven't given up, kid! You have!
: You think? You should try walking in my shoes for once.
: Is that a challenge?
[Scene cuts to Timon's torso on Wallace's legs and Wallace's torso on Timon's legs]
: [Sees Timon panting] Whoah, Timon! Have you seen the top of your head? You've got a birthmark in the shape of my face! Oh, no, wait, your head is just very oily.
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: Oh, yeah? Well, your legs aren't legs! They're just over-grown human feet! Give mine back!
[Both switch back to their original legs]
: [Shakes his leg] Ah, this is so much better.
: [Covers Timon's mouth] Shh! [Points to Jessie's house]
[Timon and Pumbaa turns around and gasps]
: [Nervously] Jessie's birthday party![The trio crawl on the sidewalk to pass by Jessie's house. A door is heard opening]
: Oh! You came!
: [They stand up] How did you know we were there?
: I didn't. I was just practicing my guest welcome, but since you're here... [Holds up arms] Oh! You came!
[Scene changes to Wallace, Timon and Pumbaa sitting awkwardly in Jessie's backyard with Jessie and her parents, who are breathing loudly. They sit in silence for a few seconds]
: Wow! What a great party! Yeah, it was really good, but we gotta go now. It's uh, it's getting dark and all. [The sky is shown; it is high-noon]
: Oh, c'mon, you're not gonna leave now! I haven't seen Jessie so happy.
[Jessie starts laughing disturbingly]
: [Whispers] I'm sorry, but we need to get home to our sister. Besides, no offense, sir, but if this party was a person, it would be Jessie.
: [Whispers] Okay, let's cut to the chase. I'll give you a thousand dollars if you stay.
[Scene changes to Wallace and Pumbaa talking to Emmie on the phone and Timon dancing in the background]
: Ha ha! You have to understand, Emmie! This is a thousand dollars we're talking about! We're millionaires!
: [Runs up to the two] I'm sorry, Pumbaa, but I think you just dropped [Sing-song voice] a thousand dollars!
: So... is it okay if we hang out on another day?
: Sure, no problem.
: Are you doing the sad face with the big wide eyes?
[Cut to Emmie, who is crying]
: [Sniffles] No, everything is cool.
: [Pokes his eye through the phone] Right. Let me speak to Gumball...
[Scene changes to Timon giving Jessie's father his money back, but Timon will not let go of the money, while also sobbing lightly]
: [Timon whimpering] If you're in such a hurry, then why have we been doing this for an hour?
: Because it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
[Timon finally lets go and a tear rolls down his face]
[The trio are walking down the street]
: Ugh! I thought it was overpriced at four dollars, let alone a thousand and four! For that much money, I could've bought an actual pony and acted out the movie myself!
[Mister Pops is seen walking towards the trio, and they keep walking in each other's paths]
: Oh ho ho! How silly!
: Ugh. [Changes path]
: Ooh ha ha! Oh look! We've done it again!
: Ugh. [Changes path]
: Huh! Normally, by now, one of us would have decided which way to-
: Sorry! [Steps on Mister Pops and walks on him]
[Mister Pops's body sticks back up and hits Timon and Pumbaa in the face. The DVD is knocked out of his hand, and Nightmare on Elm Street falls out of the case]
: [Gasps] Nightmare on Elm Street?!
: So where's our DVD?[In Lola's bedroom]
: Oh, Robin. If only they know me the way you do...
[Lola, with a bucket of popcorn, is staring at the TV]
: [Barges in Lola's room] Lola! [Swings arms in front of her face] [Whispers to Timon and Pumbaa] I think her horror movie brain got traumatized by an overload of wolf cuteness.
: [Drops popcorn] I thought I was a hardcore horror movie fan, but I was living a lie! [Grabs Wallace by the shirt] Tell me, is it wrong for a punk-rock boy who lives in a haunted malevolent mansion to be touched by the magical friendship of a wolf?
: Mmmm, no, but can you tell your cat to stop rubbing itself on my leg, 'cause that's kind of wrong...[A cat is seen nuzzling on Wallace's leg purring]
: Oh, That's my cat, Melody. [Wallace and Pumbaa gives her a weird look] What?
: Well, what's she eat?
: Not much, really. She eats bananas sometimes.
: We are not here to discuss Lola's pet of a family! Where is the DVD?!
: Uh, it's in the DVD player.
: Oh, really? The way things have gone today, I didn't think it would be as easy as just pushing a button to-- [Timon pushes the button and the DVD flies out through a window] Yeah. That makes more sense.[The trio are chasing the DVD while it is rolling down the street]
: If I saw a clown doing this, I'd think it was impossible![They runs into Duke, who's carrying a box of DVDs. The DVDs are scattered all over the sidewalk]
: Noooo! What have you done?! Now we'll never find it! It'll be like looking for a piece of hay in a needle stack! It's gonna take hours!
: [He picks up the DVD amongst the others] Here it is!
: What do you know? Let's put it in the box.
: Here. [Pumbaa throws the DVD at Wallace. It bounces off his head and rolls down the street][Wallace and Timon looks angrily at Darwin, who look at them nervously, then they chase the DVD down the road again]
: How could you miss?! That was a perfectly good throw!
: Why are you screaming at us? You're the one who threw it at Wallace for no reason!
: I know! I thought if I screamed first, you'd be less likely to scream at me!
[Mister Pops is walking towards them]
Oh, Come on! We're going right!
: Okay! I'm going left. [Moves right in the path of them] [Chuckles] I meant the other left.
[Wallace angrily grabs Mister Pops and tosses him into the nearby garbage bin. He and the other two then run off]
: Uh, I'm sorry, but I should be in the recycling bin. [Wallace returns, takes Mister Pops out of the garbage bin, and tosses him into the adjacent recycling bin, before running off] Thank you very much.
[The trio continue chasing after the DVD]
: Watch out! [halts Wallace from running into the busy traffic]
: Aah!
[The DVD rolls onto the sewer grate. It slips through]
: NOOO!
[Jacob, who is still trapped inside the sewer, appears with the DVD in his hand]
: Yeah! Thanks, Job!
[Jacob frowns]
: Oh, uh, I meant Jake![Jacob inhales in anger, tossing the DVD]
[Once again, the trio give chase, as the DVD bounces. Jessie and her parents are still in their backyard party, with soft music playing on radio. The DVD bounces onto the radio, changing stations before it bounces out of the backyard. "Don't Know Me" plays]
: Don't know me. Don't want it daily. So they call me Joile. No fresh- [Jessie laughs excitedly]
[The trio catch up to the runway DVD]
: There it is! [The DVD gets wedged into jogging Pete's buttcrack] Uh...[Wallace approaches Pete as he tries to remove the DVD, but accidentally gropes his buttocks]
: Ooh! Did you just poke my butt?
: Uh...no.
: Get away from me! [Jogs away from Wallace]
: Wait, wait.[Pete runs into the teal tow truck driver, pinning him underneath. Gumball and Darwin catch up to them]
: Ah man! Ah, please! Ahh! Are you gonna get this off me or what?
: Eh, I don't know. You're way closer.[Wallace plucks the DVD from Pete's buttcrack, and wipes it on the teal tow truck driver, before he and the other two run off. The repairman groans as he continues to get crushed by the obese man][The Blaker's living room. The trio are back home, accompanying Emmie on the couch]
: Come on, let's see it.
: What?
: Oh, you know what we're talking about.[Emmie thinks for a moment, then she gradually smiles]
: [Chuckles] That's it! That's the happy face.[The trio hug Emmie, and they all sigh contently]
: Let's watch that pony movie and be done with it.[Emmie clicks the remote, and the movie plays. As the narrator of the movie speaks, the kids' expressions, especially Emmie's, gradually change from anticipation to disappointment]
: They say all good things come in small packages, but there's nothing small about a wolf...
: I think I hate this film.
: Oh! Thank gosh. [Him, his creator and Pumbaa slump on the couch, relieved. Emmie clicks the remote, and the screen fades to black, thus ending the episode]
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