Jungkook's POV:

It's finally that day. That special day many people were anticipating

Am I excited? Yes

Do I feel ready? Ready as I'll ever be

But am I scared? No doubt

I'm actually terrified. So many thoughts and questions are running through my mind, I can barely take it

- what if I mess up? -

- what if they don't like me? -

- what if we're not 'good enough' for them? -

I know I'm worrying too much. It's just a performance, we'll be doing those a lot after tonight. Nothing to worry about. Right?

No. Of course not. There's so much to worry about

Sorry, I've always been like this. I was always pretty competitive when I was little. Nothing much has changed. I still love the feeling of winning and hate losing. It stays with me, even if it were just a video game.

- Silly, I know -

But I can't help these thoughts. I've always wanted to be perfect. Be the one that's good at everything. The one that people look up to, or even wish to be someday. In my mind, that's who Jeon Jungkook is. Unfortunately, that's just my mind.

In reality, you have to work hard to get there. And to work hard, you need to be focused. And to be focused you have to—

It's too much. I feel like I'm about to throw up. My head is spinning, my eyes are slowly closing. I rock my body back and forth, trying to calm myself down. It seems to worsen he feeling.

I'm now sweating uncontrollably and everything hurts. My legs are shaking and my breath is uneven.

I'm about to collapse when I feel two strong hands holding me up by my shoulders. They then bring me into a hug.

———————

Taehyung's POV:

When I saw the state Jungkook was, I got scared. He's normally seen as 'that tough guy'. Which is honestly kinda funny yet insulting 'cause he's only fifteen. Why can't I have that title?

I work so hard, yet I can't seem to showcase what I have. No one seems to notice me. Heck, I was practically invisible to the public up until maybe a month ago. This honestly sucks

Sorry, off subject. Jungkook was out of it all day. He isn't himeslf at all. He's been oddly distant and even more quiet than usual. Kookie's always been pretty awkward, but this was giving off a different vibe.

I am, as well as everyone else, extremely nervous for our performance, but Jungkook was on a different level. He seemed genuinely scared. And I hate seeing my Kookie scared.

Why, you might be asking? Well, simple.

Cause he's my Kookie.

He's alwas the one helping me when I'm confused or just in need. He's always seen as the strong saviour that's always there. Jungkook's never in trouble. He saves those in trouble, but is never in it himself.

That's what I thought.

Until right now.

He was seriously on the verge of tears the whole car ride here, and he almost just fainted. Luckily, I caught him

I'm not too sure what to do now, so I just hug him. It may be a little awkward at first, given the fact we don't usually make this sort of contact. But we get comfortable very soon, I even begin to say soft words of reassurance to calm him down.

He doesn't say anything else, but I can tell he's better.

As we separate, we keep eye contact. We simply look at each other for what seems like forever. It's a nice moment.

- I'm glad my Kookie's okay -

I decide, since it seems like the right moment, to grab his hand. He instantly softens into the touch and shoots me a smile. We stay like this until we're called to stage.

- For reassurance purposes, of course -

Even though, Jungkook completely healed from the events from a few minutes ago...

———————

Hobi's POV:

Alrighty, it's time. Well, not necessarily. There's still a few minutes til we're going to be called up, but other than that, it's time.

I'm not really scared about the performance itself, I don't really stress over these things, so I assume we'll be fine. As long as no one overthinks it, we'll be fine.

What I am nervous for, is what comes after.

What would that be exactly?

Fans reactions, interviews, more performances. All of that

If the people don't like our original performance, they won't even bother to come back. But the thing is, I don't think any of us will mess up. If the people don't like our performance, it's just cause it wasn't something they liked. What scares me, is if they straight up don't like us.

As well as that, we'll have interviews to do after the show. Meaning, we'll have to answer their questions. The fans' questions. If we don't answer accordingly, or in a way they'd like/expected, they'll lose interest in us. They won't bother trying to like our music, if they don't like us as people. That's another thing that scares me

Also, performances after tonight. We'll still be rookies and won't be seen as good as others. We aren't as prepared or experienced. The term 'rookie group' will block us from achieving what we want. But we might not even be able to get there either way. We might not fit the standards. We might not be seen as 'good'. Whatever 'good' is supposed to be

That's what scares me. That's what's making me nervous.

That's why I'm absolutely petrified and can barely move properly without nearly collapsing.

But nobody can help me. The others are all too busy with themselves or someone else. They won't even bother to look at me. Which is fine, I guess. It's always been that way...

———————

Namjoon's POV:

We've been preparing for this for years and now, it's finally here. The time has come. We, Bangtan Sonyeondan, will be making our debut as a group. That's what's happening.

I feel, confident enough. Not at my top game, but it's not too bad. Just the nerves. Everything will be fine.

We've just left the dressing room and are now waiting in the corridors to be called up to stage. Only a few minutes left before we, BTS, will be performing. This is our first ever performance. Our first ever time on stage with an audience. Our first ever time to be called up to do so. That's a weird feeling.

I look over to all my members, sending nods and smiles to each and every one of them. Making sure they all feel ready and excited. I am, of course, ready as I'll ever be. It is our debut stage, anyway.

Jungkook's first. His eyes are closed, so immediately get worried. He's a little shaky, he's very sweaty and completely quiet. Jungkook isn't one to get nervous, so this doesn't seem right. I'm abiut to go up to him, when I notice that he's holding something. Someone's hand. I look up the arm, and find Taehyung worriedly looking towards the younger. We end up making eye contact and he just gives me a 'Don't worry' smile.

Too late Tae

I keep looking in their direction for a few more seconds. I only turn to Hoseok when Tae gives Jungkook a slight nudge. His eyes slowly open and shows a smile. A waverly smile, but a smile either way.

Hobi doesn't seem too fazed about the whole situation. He's in his own world. Normally, I would give a second look to this, 'cause that would mean he's fine. But in this case, I know somethings up. I put my hand on his shoulder and grin. He turns over to me, a little jumpy since the action was pretty sudden. He mimicks my gesture and shoves me away with a chuckle.

"Don't worry, I'm fine"

I want to believe him, but I just can't. And even though I want to ask what's up, I go over to Jin, not wanting to possibly anger our group's sunshine.

"Jin"

I whisper into my hyung's ear when I reach him. All I get as a response is a small look from Jin. I can't necessarily read his expression well, since he turns away just as fast as we made eye contact. But if I were to guess, I'd assume it was a worried, nervous and scared one.

Jin being someone we rarely likes to voice out his problems, made me pick up a few signs from his emotions. I can tell when soemthing's off. Similar to Hobi, actually.

On any other day, Jin would gladly respond to my call to him. He'd be happy to talk to me. Unlike just now, he'd do anything but turn away.

"Jin, what's wrong?"

———————

Jin's POV:

I'm nervous. I'm scared. I'm worried. I'm not ready.

That's it. That's what I have to say. That's what's going on in my mind.

I can't function properly 'cause of these thoughts. They're taking over my whole body, and I don't know what to do about it. Everything seems fuzzy and I just want to leave the room.

I want to go back home, go into my bed and sleep forever. Or at least, just not be here. Anywhere, but here. I want to go

I hate it

My hearts beating so fast, I feel as though it's gonna jump out of my chest.

If he wasn't right next to my ear as he said it, I wouldn't have even heard Namjoon calling my name. I did, by the way.

I would've answered him, maybe saying 'I'm fine' or 'it's okay', but if I open my mouth I feel as though something else's gonna come out. Not words or air. Something that should stay deep down in my stomach.

If it isn't clear, I feel like throwing up.

"Jin, say something"

Namjoon tried once more to make me talk. Although I really don't want to, I force myself to reply. It's Joon, I have to

"It's just nerves Namjoon I'm fine"

"You don't look too fine, Jin..."

"Trust me, I'm just—"

I cut myself off to take a deep breath

"Okay, maybe I'm not fine. But it'll pass after the show, I'm sure of it"

"Alright.... tell me if you need anything"

"I will, don't worry"

He just tilts his head uncertain to me. He doesn't want to go with what I'm saying, but he respects it anyways. This is one of the many reasons I trust him so much. He doesn't always agree, but he never contradicts someone, unless he has reasoning.

A few minutes before we get called up, I finally ask Namjoon

"Can you hold my hand Joonie?"

All he does is smirk and take my hand. No other words are said, which is fine. It's nice actually. We don't need to make this a big deal anyways....

———————

Jimin's POV:

- oh my fuckkk -

Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy we can finally actually call ourselves a group. That's a great feeling. But what worries me, is that this is our first actual stage. Everything counts. All good and all bad. If I mess something up, that's going to stay with me my entire career.

I can't make any mistakes. None.

But that's a little difficult when I'm all stressed and shaky. My knees won't stop hitting one another and my hands are so sweaty you could literally drink them. I know, disgusting. It's just for visual reference.

My breathing is unsteady and my thoughts are going wild.

We have a final practice before heading over for hair and makeup. Then get into our outfits and then it's showtime.

It all seems to have happened so fast.

I feel like it was just yesterday that I had first walked into the practice room. When I was so quiet and shy. Everyone looked at me in disgust when I finished my performance for them. All of them except Yoongi, of course.

I'm remembering all of our time together over the past year. All of our memories playback in my mind.

When I'd quietly talk to Yoongi late at night.

Or when we'd look at each other through the mirror when learning a dance.

When i would fight with the other members, when they still hated me.

Gosh, when they hated me.

That was the worst feeling. Knowing someone hates you. Someone that is forced to my only see you everyday, but live with you. If they hate you, you know you're not worth it. But then I learned the truth. The real story behind they're feelings.

And I feel so fucking bad.

Namjoon. He always has so much on his plate. Being leader, producer music, writing songs and simply making sure that BTS really is bulletproof.

I stressed him out

Taehyung, Jungkook, Hobi. Not much to say about them. Without Namjoon, they'd be lost ducklings. They were just following their leader and Jin

And Jin. He hated himself. Maybe still does...

I was just the 'better him' he couldn't seem to have, and that angered him. He was so mad, he took it out on me. Bringing me down, would give him the opportunity to look up.

The things he did were definitely not right. But I understand.

After all of this, I've been put in a position similar to his. Of course with different standards, but nonetheless similar. Being a trainee in a small company requires a lot of hard work and determination. Requires long tiring hours of practice and patience. Staying in shape and keep the right image for yourself. It's a lot of pressure. Not many people could understand unless they were in our place.

But we won't be asking for them to understand. All we ask for, is that they accept us. Give us a chance. Believe that we could get somewhere.

Cause who knows, maybe we could

- Shit -

We're being called up...