I know to myself, I should not find love. I should love myself instead. For the past 2 years, I worked out to be the better version of myself and I succeeded. I could say I'd changed a lot and I'm very thankful for that.

But, there's something missing.

No matter how hard I'm telling myself that I don't need a special someone, but the reality is knocking. Yes, I dont need one. I want one!

I want to love and to be loved. I want to experience true love which I haven't with my last failed long term relationship. I want to be genuinely happy. Although, I am happy with my own skin, having someone by your side, when you're sick or in good health, having someone who will hold your hand, someone who will choose you everyday, it is what I want.

I want the universe to give me that special someone.

But why it seems so hard?

I know what I deserve. And I deserve love. I deserve a guy who will value me.

It's getting so tiring.

Am I destined to be alone? I don't want to be single forever.

Please universe.

I don't want to be hurting anymore. If I'm not meant to be loved, then so be it. Just take away my capability of loving someone.

If I am meant to be just me, I won't fight it anymore. Just take away this pain.