《Without You | Sesshomaru》Chapter 19
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"Kanda..."
Lyra was surprised to see him standing there but she hoped he hadn't heard anything. Kanda simply looked at her.
"Everyone thought you got lost so I came to find you," he told her.
She breathed a sigh of relief. "I just finished. I was on my way back. Let's go."
She put on a smile and went towards him. As she walked past him to return to the living room, Kanda grabbed her arm. Lyra stopped and looked at him, but he wasn't facing her.
"Tell me the truth, Lyra." His voice was empty, all the emotion in his voice disappeared.
She felt her heartbeat quicken. "About what?"
Kanda suddenly pulled her in front of him, making her almost trip over her own feet as he forced her to stand in front of him. Lyra had never seen such a look in his eyes before. That of betrayal. She furrowed her brows with worry. Her lies had been discovered.
He clutched onto her forearms. "You know damn well what!" he yelled, keeping his voice low so he didn't attract attention. "I heard you on the phone."
Lyra lowered her head, too ashamed to meet his gaze. "I'm sorry..." she whispered. She cursed herself for being such a fool.
"Sorry? Lyra, do you even want to marry me?" he asked her with hurt evident in his tone. "Answer me." Again, he was met with silence. "Lyra, answer me!"
"No!" she shouted, lifting her head up to look him in the eyes. Her expression softened upon seeing his face. "No... I'm sorry..."
Kanda frowned, his brows knitting together slightly. "And this?" He held her wrist and held her hand up, the diamond ring prominent on her finger. "This means nothing to you?" His tone had turned more to hurt.
Lyra lowered her head, shaking her head as she did so. She could offer no explanation because she had nothing to say. He had heard everything. And yet she still couldn't tell him the truth about the ultimatum her father had given her. Tears fell from her eyes and she quickly closed them to stop more from escaping. Kanda watched her and the state she was in. He had heard everything from the point where she said she loved Sesshomaru with all her heart to everything after that. The most prominent fact stuck in his mind that this man had proposed to her before and they had had sex. He heard her explanation, that she gave up the one she truly loved just to spare his feelings and to keep everyone happy. Kanda felt both sorry for her but anger at the same time. And he needed to take action.
He gripped her wrist and began pulling her along with him. Lyra lifted her head, her eyes widening slightly as she was dragged behind him towards the living room. Upon entering the room, everyone instantly felt the tension and were shocked at the way Kanda had brought her in. They all stood, knowing something was wrong especially seeing Lyra standing meekly beside him with her head lowered.
Kanda spoke before anyone could ask. "The marriage is cancelled."
Everyone's eyes widened in shock, all of them letting out a gasp. Kasai felt light headed and almost lost balance before Kuba managed to catch her and sit her down. Kimi went over to fan her as Renji froze, looking at Lyra.
"What are you talking about?" Kuba asked. "Have you gone mad?"
Kanda continued to speak with determination. "I can't marry someone whose heart already belongs to another."
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"What?"
"You heard me, dad. Lyra is in love with someone else."
The room fell fairly silent as they tried to make sense of the news. Lyra simply couldn't bear to see anyone's reaction. She couldn't even look at Renji knowing he would be royally pissed off. Everyone had figured out Kanda was telling the truth because of her lack of denial. The truth was out now. She didn't have to lie anymore.
She could hear Kasai almost having a nervous breakdown while Kimi tried to keep her calm. However, Kanda still kept hold of Lyra's hand. Even at a time where she had hurt him, he was unwilling to let go of her. She didn't want to cry, it wouldn't help the situation. But her heart was racing with fear. She didn't know what to say or how to explain herself.
"What is the meaning of this?" Kuba asked. "Did you know, Renji?"
Renji looked at him. "Yes. I'm sorry." He then turned his attention to Lyra. "But that relationship is over. It's finished."
She lifted her head up to look her father. There wasn't even any anger in them. She was sad. It was upsetting to know her own father didn't care for her feelings.
Renji went and stood in front of her. "Did you tell him?"
"N-No..." she replied nervously, which Kanda found strange about their interaction.
He furrowed his brows slightly. "I overheard her conversation when I went to find her." He absentmindedly squeezed her hand as he looked to his parents. "Please don't blame Lyra or be angry with her."
Lyra's attention moved to Kanda. He had let her hand go and put his hands together as if pleading to Renji and his parents. She was shocked that even after everything, he was pleading on her behalf. He was such a great person and it made her feel so small.
Kanda continued, "Lyra sacrificed her own love and happiness just for us. For our own happiness, she sacrificed everything so selflessly. To honour our grandparents and to keep all of us happy." He turned to Lyra with a smile now and held her shoulders. "This should have made me hate you. But clearly no matter what you do, I keep falling for you more and more. The thing that would make me happy would be seeing you happy. And I can't do that. Be with whoever you want."
The tears that pooled in her eyes began to fall. "Kanda..." She clasped her hands together and cried quietly. "Please forgive me..."
Kanda wrapped his hands around hers and smiled softly. He couldn't bring himself to be angered or to dislike her. He was head over heels for her. And she gave up so much to make everything happen and to spare his own feelings. Lyra was eternally grateful to have him with her at that time. She couldn't love him, but he would always be a great friend.
"No," Renji said suddenly and everyone looked at him. "Kuba. Kasai. I believe the marriage should continue."
Both Kanda and Lyra were taken aback. They both dropped their arms and turned to him. Even after everything, he still expected for it to carry on.
Kuba responded. "As do I. But only if the children wish for it."
Renji looked at Kanda. "Do you still love Lyra?"
Kanda blinked a couple of times. "Yes, but-"
"Then it's final."
Lyra gaped at her father. "But, dad, I love Sesshomaru," she begged.
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"I don't want to hear it," Renji said sternly.
"I can't marry-"
"You will marry Kanda and my decision is final!"
Lyra began to raise her voice with pain as tears dropped down her cheeks. "Please, dad, I-"
"No!"
"But Sesshomaru-"
"Be quiet, Lyra."
"I just-"
"I SAID BE QUIET!"
Renji lifted his hand and slapped her cheek hard. Everyone watched in horror, the sound of the slap echoing in their ears. The slap was so hard that her head had turned to the side, her cheek feeling as though it was on fire. She shakily lifted her hand up to her sore cheek and looked back up at her father. Her breathing had become heavy as she tried to keep herself composed and Renji instantly regretted his actions.
Kanda was appalled. "Sir, you-"
Without warning, Lyra turned and ran out of the room. Kanda went to go after her but Renji caught his arm.
"Give her some time," he said.
Kanda moved his arm away. "I apologise, Mr Miyazaki. But you should not have done that. Not in front of me." He spoke in an angered tone that was subtle but still shit everyone up in the room. Kanda looked at his parents. "I'll sort this out when I return with Lyra."
Not wasting anymore time, he ran out of the room to follow her. He found his way to the entrance but saw no sign of her. Spotting one of the maids, he asked her if she had seen Lyra.
"I saw her run out the front door just seconds ago, sir," she informed him.
Thanking the maid, he quickly ran outside only to see Lyra driving away. He had missed her by just seconds. But he grew more worried. The rain may have stopped but the ground was still extremely wet. Lyra was upset, angry and her emotions were running wild. She was in no position to be driving in such a state.
He rushed to his car, grateful that he decided to leave it out, and started the engine. "Please don't do anything stupid, Lyra."
He drove off after her hoping to catch up. He hoped she wouldn't go far and stop the car. He hoped she was thinking at least a little straight to keep her mind focused. He sped up and began catching up to her along the path that lead to the mansion. He was honking his horn and flashing his headlights at her but she didn't stop. Soon, he watched her turn onto the main road and he continued after her.
Lyra could hear the car honking behind her but she didn't care. She had to get out of that place. She had to escape. Her destination was Sesshomaru. As she drove at full speed, she could see only him in the distance and that was where she was driving to. Her eyes were focused on Sesshomaru and only him.
Kanda was watching Lyra's driving behaviour. It was unsmooth and erratic. She was also driving so fast on wet roads, and not only were rainclouds forming again, the skies were growing darker as night began to fall. Kanda continued to follow hoping she would stop somewhere but he also had to keep his distance because of the condition of the roads. If she suddenly decided to stop, he didn't want to crash into her.
They were approaching a cross junction. Each road connected to the middle were controlled by traffic lights. Kanda could see up ahead that the lights had turned red and so Lyra would finally stop. But she showed no signs of slowing. His eyes widened in shock, fear and anger, his heart jumping to his throat as he watched Lyra run the red light. She didn't stop. Each and every second after played out meticulously as Kanda could do nothing but watch in horror. Everything fell silent. As Lyra drove past the red light, a huge truck drove straight into the car. Kanda watched as the truck slammed into her side of the car and pushed it across the road before the truck skidded to a stop.
"LYRA!"
Kanda pressed his foot down on the break, his car swerving slightly as it came to a stop. His ears were ringing as he leapt out of the car, not caring that he left the door open with the keys in there. All the other cars and vehicles had obviously slowed down and stopped as well, pedestrians and passers by all curious about the accident. Kanda ran at full speed towards the wreckage. Lyra's car had been completely obliterated, bits of the car and glass shattered everywhere. He sobbed as he reached the car, running around to the front. He could just about see inside. She was unconscious and bleeding but he couldn't get to her.
He looked up at the driver of the truck who was trying to get out to help. "Move your truck back!" he yelled at the man. As he did so, a crowd had gathered around the wreckage. "Someone call an ambulance!" he yelled again through his tears.
As a doctor, he had to keep a level head if he wanted to save Lyra. He had to see her as any other patient so that he didn't do anything stupid. Once the truck had moved back enough, Kanda went to Lyra's door and saw that it had all collapsed in. He tried his best not to look at her as he tried to get the door open. But it was stuck. He continued to pull on it at full force, growing more and more angry that it wasn't budging.
The truck driver had rushed over. "They're going to have to cut her out," he tried to explain. "I was driving at 40mph when I hit her. It's-"
Kanda suddenly grabbed the man by his scruff angrily. "She could be dying in there!"
"Okay, okay. I'm sorry." The driver held his hands up. "Let's try together."
Kanda let go of him and they both pulled on the door. Kanda put his hand through the broken window and tried pushing it out. The crowd watched as after some struggle, they managed to pull the door away. Instantly, Kanda dived in and realised that she wasn't even wearing her seatbelt. Things could be much more worse than he originally thought. He lifted her out of the car and carefully lay her on the road.
His heart wasn't beating in rhythm as he looked at the state she was in. But he had to focus. Her blood stained his clothes as searched for a pulse. It took some time to find but he managed to feel it. She was alive but just barely. He had to act fast. He began administering CPR to keep her going until the ambulance arrived. He didn't have what he needed to guarantee her safety but that was the best he could do. 'Please, Lyra. Stay with me. You're stronger than this. You can't leave.' Within a couple of minutes, sirens could be heard in the distance, growing louder the closer they got. Kanda continued with the CPR as the ambulance, police cars and fire engine parked haphazardly around the scene.
The police instantly cordoned off the area, moving the crowd away and questioning the truck driver and witnesses. The firemen were in charge of the wreckage and the paramedics rushed over to help Kanda.
"Dr Hideki, you have to stay back now," one of the paramedics said, pulling him away as another paramedic took over.
Kanda pulled out of the man's grip and pushed him away. "No! That's Lyra. She's my fiancé!"
The paramedic puller him away again. "Sir, the fact that you even know her can cloud your judgement. Please. Let us do our job."
Kanda was visibly disturbed and panicked, another paramedic taking him away to make sure he wasn't having any sort of trauma. He watched as five other paramedics surrounded Lyra. They had hooked her up to machines and things he would use on a daily basis. They were trying to control the bleeding and keep her heart beating. But at that moment Kanda's mind wasn't working. He couldn't understand anything. They had put an oxygen mask on and lifted her onto a gurney. He watched them moving her into the ambulance and when they asked if he wanted to be there, he of course said yes. He couldn't let her be alone.
The panic and severity of the situation still hadn't subsided though as the ambulance blared its sirens, driving to the hospital. The paramedics continued to do all they could whilst Kanda sat and watched, praying that she would pull through.
"We're losing her," one of them said as they hooked her up to a heart monitor.
The beeping sound began. It was weak. Kanda's heart was going crazy, each beep from the machine making him cling onto hope.
"She's lost too much blood."
They tried to get her to keep breathing, checking all her vitals.
"No, no, no. Come on."
The sense of panic suddenly rose tenfold inside the ambulance. The beeps were very few and far apart.
"Lyra, just hold on. We're almost there."
The paramedics were doing everything to keep her alive.
"She's not going to make it," one of them said quietly. "She's bleeding internally."
They tried to push through. Then Kanda's heart dropped and shattered. He heard the final long beep. The sound he had heard too many times before signalling the end of a life.
The paramedic sighed and looked at Kanda apologetically. "I'm sorry. We did all we could." He turned to the other paramedic and checked his watch. "Time of death. 6:54pm."
They gave Kanda some space as he stared at Lyra's dead body. He couldn't even cry. He couldn't even think. When they finally arrived at the hospital, the doctors and nurses had taken her body away into a theatre to do a full examination. Kanda stared blankly at the doctor, one of his colleagues, as she informed him that there was nothing they could have done to save her. She had already lost a lot of blood at the site of the accident but she also had too much internal bleeding.
Kanda found his way to a phone and dialled home.
"Hello?" It was Kimi.
"Kimi..." he spoke quietly.
"Kanda? Where are you? And where's Lyra? Are you with her? We're all so worried."
Kanda's voice was low and emotionless. "Tell dad to bring everyone to the hospital. Lyra's been in an accident."
Without waiting for a response, he hung up. He couldn't tell them she had died because Renji was there. At least if he only thought she had been in an accident, he wouldn't act irrationally. It was best that they were all there safely before he could tell them.
Kanda sat in the waiting area as the examinations continued. His gaze was focussed on the floor, his mind a blur. No more than ten minutes later, the doors to the waiting area opened and his family and Renji rushed in. Renji spotted Kanda and ran over to him in a panic.
"Kanda, where is she? Where's Lyra? Is she hurt? How big was the accident? Is she okay?" he asked desperately.
Kanda slowly raised his head to look at him, everyone looking back at him waiting for answers.
"She's dead."
Renji clutched onto his chest and dropped to his knees. The waiting room became filled with the wails of his cries as he fell to the ground. Kuba tried to help him whilst Kasai and Kimi hugged each other and cried. Still, Kanda remained blank.
***
In the Higurashi household, everyone was sitting around the table for dinner. Grandpa sat quietly while Kagome and Sota spoke about school. Mama was just about to sit down after bring the last item of food before the phone began to ring in the room.
"I'll see who it is before I sit down," Mama said, going to where the phone was hanging on the wall. "Hello?" she answered.
The others couldn't hear who was on the other side but they fell quiet so they didn't disturb the phone call.
"Renji, slow down. I can't hear what you're saying," she said. She paused for a bit before she let out a gasp. "What?!"
The phone fell from her hand and smashed to the ground as she leaned against the wall. Everyone stood up to check if she was okay.
"Mom?" Sota called worriedly.
Kagome stood in front of her, her brows furrowed with concern. "Mom, what happened?"
Tears filled Mama's eyes as she looked at Kagome. "Lyra's passed away..."
Kagome's eyes widened as Sota and Grandpa stood there in shock.
"B-But I just spoke to her..."
Mama sniffed as she wiped away her tears. "She was in an accident. A truck collided with her car."
Kagome's mind almost went blank but she wasn't going to give up. She said she wanted to help Lyra and she knew exactly what she needed to do to help. Kagome ran out of the room and out the house. Sota went after her but saw her run into the shrine.
Sota returned to the dining room where grandpa was comforting Mama. "Kagome's gone back."
"We need to let Kagome deal with the news her own way," Grandpa told him.
Sota hugged his mom as they mourned over Lyra.
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