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Matty sat in the living room, cradling a cup of tea in her hands. It's grown cold due to the reason that she'd been spacing out the whole time while a rerun of Reality Bites was playing on the TV. At this point, the movie had met the faith of becoming background noise, but the volume was down to the setting wherein you'll have to strain your ears to hear an utter or something.

It's been two days since her last conversation with Karl.

Matty wasn't lying when she said she needed to be alone and often ate in her room or the living room but, she still made sure to make enough food for the both of them, and Karl always nods at her with a sheepish smile when she calls him down to get his food. It was awkward but, it worked. And Matty wasn't going to complain since he, at least, respected her decision to be left alone.

Karl had gone out hours ago doing something work-related for Jimmy. Although he'd already claimed everything's settled and that he'd already gotten new people to sponsor their content days ago. Perhaps something changed . . . you know, like what happened between them. Sudden and probably unnecessary. She also can't help think that maybe he just didn't want to be in the same room as her. Perhaps he'd already found her annoying or too much to handle.

In all honesty, Matty felt that maybe she had overreacted but, she was driven solely by the irritability that was still flowing through her veins. It felt like an itch that won't go away, and all Matty wanted to do was sit Karl down and tell him everything from the start and until the fucking end, but the last time that happened . . . well, it didn't end well. She distinctly remembers how teary-eyed Karl got, and as she took a sip of the no-longer-hot tea, it felt colder as it ran down her throat.

She felt terrible, alright? She gets where he was coming from and what he was trying to say that day, but he didn't have to just . . . slam dunk that shit right on her face.

Matty wasn't going to deny because it truly felt like she still wasn't over what happened between Andrew and her. And she doesn't know when she would be.

She doesn't know when or how she could ever talk about it when she's still not stable herself. She overestimated the capacity of her emotions and thought that perhaps she would be able to tell Karl since he's becoming a part of Matty's life in some slow, little way.

But she'd witnessed how'd it go, and maybe she'd fucked over one of her relationships again. Maybe Karl would fly back to Carolina and never talk to her again. Just the thought of it stings . . . but Matty supposed that it'd be better that way. They'd only been under the same roof for such a short amount of time, and it felt like she'd been slowly ruining Karl from the inside and out.

Matty doesn't know if she'd bear the idea of ruining whatever light Karl has within him. She doesn't know what she'd do if she'd be the one who'd torn him apart. The idea burns, and perhaps the tea wasn't actually tea since her stomach felt uneasy, and it burned too. Her grip on her mug tightened as she gulped what's remaining in her cup.

A buzz from her left shook her out of her silent misery. She didn't like getting calls but, she'd welcome whoever this was to ignore the deafening silence and that she was alone in her own house. Funnily enough, she'd been living alone for years, and she should be used to the quiet space but, Karl, for some reason, changed everything. He made the thought of living alone seem so depressing.

Matty sat up and checked her phone. It was a call from Spifey.

She swiped her thumb across the screen and was welcomed with concerned, almost identical, blue eyes. "Hey, short stack." He said before yawning.

"If you're calling me to make fun of my height, that's actually pretty tall and above average height, I will hang up."

"Above average for American females but, I think that you're forgetting that you're European. And the facts say that 5'7 is the average height for us, so, technically, you are below that line."

"And where did you get that fact from? Your beloved Quora? Your Reddit?"

"The internet doesn't lie."

"Oh, it does, idiot." She said before tucking herself on the side of the couch, "Why'd you call, Geo? I know it's not because you missed me or anything, and my parents already called me earlier. So, you can't possibly be calling me up for them."

"I'm just worried about you, dumbass." Spifey frowned, "And I miss you. Even if you're annoying and talk my ear off about how hot Fabrizio Moretti looked back in 2009."

Matty furrowed her eyebrows, "I said he was pretty not hot. Also, I'm not ill . . . So, what are you worried about?" She said with a hint of doubt in her voice before her eyes widened, "Unless I am and I just forgot? What if being forgetful is a sign of my illness? And I did forget whatever illness this is?"

"Remember Victoria Aslow?"

"Yes. That bitch! She fucking stole your clay sculpture and told the teacher it was hers! Oh my god. I remember yelling at her about it but, no one believed that it wasn't hers so, I got scolded. Also, I had to stay back after school because they called Dad up. It literally had your fucking name on it but, that teacher hated the two of us for some unknown reason."

"See? You aren't forgetful."

"Hm . . . You're right, but it's probably because I never stopped giving Victoria the stink-eye after that incident. Anyways, what's going on?"

"Karl sent me a text to check up on you—" Oh. "—And I thought, 'Has he left Florida?' or 'Did the two fight and why?' But I crossed out the first one because first of all, you two couldn't possibly have not exchanged numbers with your whole Twitter flirting or whatever you call it so he can text you anytime himself so, why was he asking me to do it? So in the end, I've concluded that something might've happened, and you aren't in speaking terms." Spifey sleepily muttered like he'd said that line many times already.

"Oh God. What did Charlie and Orson feed you?"

"Your friends didn't feed me anything. What the hell? It's cousin-telepathy—"

Matty shot him a pointed look.

"—Alright. Charlie also told me about the shit you fought about, which was your confused . . . feelings. So, I pieced two and two together. I'm here to listen, not to judge. Tell me what's troubling you, and I'll try to help."

"We were talking about . . . life." She dragged, actively not looking at Spifey, who was giving her the meanest stare that one could muster while sleep-deprived.

"You're not making eye contact which means something else happened, and you're not telling me." He pointed out.

Matty rolled her eyes and grumpily started at her phone, "Fine. We went to 7/11 to grab a very late dinner because he'd been asleep for almost the whole day, and when we got there, everything felt normal. Like two friends just getting food but, I thought this dude at the register was flirting with him so, I stepped up because Karl looked like he didn't want to talk about dating or anything. I know I shouldn't have done that because it wasn't my place to. The clerk seemed nice and pretty, and I probably should've let Karl handle it, and Karl probably liked them as well. And then we were lying on top of my roof, talking and shit, and we held hands. He has the softest hands and— and, we talked . . . a lot. Then I realized that I didn't intervene because— because Karl was getting hit on by them but because I got fucking jealous, which I know is a bad trait, and I don't know why I even got jealous. I have no right to be jealous because we aren't together or anything.

"I still feel bad about the 7/11 scenario because I jumped to conclusions. When we left, all I could think about was, 'What if they were soulmates and I ruined it' but then I actually got it switched because Karl said that 7/11 dude was about to hit on me and not him but, I still felt bad. But then fast forward to the rooftop part . . . I told him about Andrew, and everything was going smoothly but, then he told me . . . you know . . . what everyone always tells me and I just felt tired of hearing it that I lashed out. Another bad trait. So, I told him to leave me alone, and he did. And I don't know whether to be thankful about it or feel worse that he respected my wishes, and now everything feels strained around us."

Spifey sighed, "I— I don't know what to say . . . What are you tired of hearing everyone say, Matty?"

"Like . . . like I'm not helping myself. Like I'm letting the past consume me. They don't fucking understand, and they try to act like they do."

"Are you mad because they probably might be right? I know I said that I wasn't going to judge, Mat but, with what I could see . . . the root for all of this is . . . Andrew, and whatever that asshole fed to that brain of yours, and you are letting it consume you. Charlie and I talked—"

"You're talking about me? Behind my back?" Matty asked, the well between her furrowed eyebrows sinking deeper as she grew defensive by the minute.

"We're concerned about you! And Karl is also concerned about you. You've been blaming yourself for Andrew's actions. You tell us you aren't but, then the next day you'll grow distant. I grew up with you, Mat. I know you that fucking well. And I know that no matter what, you never want to be helped by other people, but you need someone too. You have to let others in again. You don't win a war all by yourself. You have people that side with you, and that's us, and the other people you'll meet in the future . . . We've been trying to tell you this these past few years, and I'm sorry, I've tried to be patient but, I can't watch you ruin yourself because of Andrew all over again. I can't see you like that again."

"It's easier said than done—"

"I know it's easier to be said than done, Matty. But you'll never know if you never try and do it. You've always been so hesitant about things but please just . . . try."

Matty pursed her lips, "Alright. Just because you said so."

Spifey rolled his eyes and sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Do it because you want to, not because I'm telling you to. Do it for yourself, not for anyone else. In the end, this doesn't benefit me. It's for you."

"I . . . I will try." She muttered.

"Good."

"God, you sounded like your Dad for a moment."

"I did?" Spifey asked, his normal voice getting a pitch higher out of embarrassment.

Matty nodded, "Yes. He wouldn't have believed me if I told him you were being mature for once."

"Idiot." Spifey mumbled with a teasing grin. "Anyways, I've gathered one more thing from this conversation—"

"What?" Matty had cut off, raising a brow in question, "That I can be a total prick because I'm scared that anyone could be another toxic partner and that I have major self-doubt that I can never be enough so, I push those who are actually becoming a huge part of my life?"

Spifey coughed, awkwardly looking around his room, "I'm not even going to deny anything that you said because you're right but, that wasn't what I was going to tell you."

"What is it?" Matty asked. She nervously began to pull at the end of her shirt.

She grew aware of the soft pitter-patters of the rain outside. She wasn't even sure how long it had been raining but she grew worried because Karl hadn't been back yet.

"You have to tell Karl."

Matty stopped pulling at the bottom of her shirt, "Tell him what?"

"Tell him what you told me. You complained about how . . . how no one seems to understand you. Karl probably wants to . . . so, tell him."

i'm sorry i've been gone! i've gotten sick and had serious allergic reactions after my fever so it sucked. i hope you've been taking care of yourself. please try to stay healthy

also, thanks for all the feedback! they made me laugh as i got back and read it all.

much love. hope u like this one although it's shorter than the previous ones!