"Montana!" I heard Joey's voice, making me furrow my eyebrows.

"Montana!" I heard the distant voice again, making me squint my eyes.

Saying nothing, Joey appeared sitting on a rock, wearing all white with a huge smile on his face.

"Joey!" I screamed, running over to him.

Crashing into him, I hugged him tightly. I held onto him for a long while as he laughed uncontrollably.

"Montana." He smiled, making me let him go and lifting my chin to look into my eyes.

"Baby, I'm so sorry for you leaving you."

"No. Josiah. Don't say that. Come back." I pleaded

"Please, just come back to me." I begged him.

A smile formed onto his face as I did and I couldn't help but to wonder why. Why was he so happy to be away from me?

"I can't come back, ma. I'm here." I watched as he spread his arms out, making me look around.

I had no idea where we were but it was beautiful.

"But I want you with me." I expressed and he smiled.

"I am with you, Montana. In here." He pointed at my heart.

"But I need you with me physically. I want to make you my boyfriend, I want you to see our baby."

"There's so many things I didn't get to do." I broke down, reminiscing. I now wished I hadn't wasted so much time with the arguments and bullshit.

"Baby, I'll always be with y'all. I told you I'll protect you forever and now I'll protect you and them." He looked into my eyes.

Them? I thought, confused with his terminology.

"..but now I have to go, Aight? I love you and don't ever forget me. Love my kids and protect them from all harm, baby. You're the love of my life and I thank you for making my time on earth unforgettable. I'll cherish it for all eternity."

"No, Joey. Please don't go!" I screamed as he began to walk backwards, away from me.

"No. I'm staying!"

"I'm staying with you!" I screamed, trying to run after him.

"Wake up." He spoke sternly, looking into my eyes, obviously not wanting me to stay.

"I want to stay with you, please." I begged, getting onto my knees.

"Please." I cried as he looked down at me with a sigh.

He simply kissed my forehead and ran his hand down my cheek.

"I love you, Montana."

-

Abruptly waking from my slumber, I breathed heavily, sweating hard. I noticed that I was still in Joey's bed and my heart broke all over again.

Remembering everything that'd just happened in my dreams, I began to cry hard. So hard that I began to hyperventilate.

"Montana?" I heard Ms. Carol's voice as she quickly came into the room.

"Breath, mami. Breath." She instructed as I began to slow my breathing down, back to a regular pace.

"I saw him." I cried hard, pulling my knees to my chest.

"He was there." Tears flooded my face and I felt helpless.

"He looked so peaceful. He was so happy."

"Happy?" She asked and I nodded, looking into her eyes as she began to cry as well.

"He told me that he loves me and he told me to protect the baby at all cost."

Smiling through her tears, she nodded, pulling me in and hugging me tight. We held onto each other as we cried our eyes out. It'd been exactly three days since the funeral and my heart was shattered. I hadn't even cried until now. Now is when it settled in. Now is when I felt it the most.

My baby was gone and I'd never love again.

*

Each and every day

Daydreams of how we used to be

See your family

And that baby's lookin' just like you

Why'd you go away?

I've been missin' you lately

Tell me what you're going through, oh yeah

Listening to Biggie's - Miss U as I moved around the kitchen. I was making breakfast for my babies while they slept.

It'd been approximately two years since I lost the love of my life but soon realized it wasn't all bad when I gained two more. My twin babies. I'd ended up having twin boys and the both of them were splitting images of Josiah.

I'd been through so much the past couple of years, losing Joey but when he said that he was here with me in my heart. He meant it. Though I no longer saw him in my dreams. I felt him everywhere I went. I knew that he was here with me.

"Mommy." I heard my babies calling me in unison, making me smile.

Finishing up the food, I put the food on plates before I went into the other room.

"Mommy!" Jeremiah yelled out as I walked into the room. I smiled as Jr cut his eye at him. I couldn't help but laugh. He was just like Joey.

"Good morning, baby." I picked Jeremiah up from the bed and he held onto me tightly.

"Mommy." Joey then held his arms out once he saw Jeremih getting all of my love.

Chuckling, I used my free arm to pick him up as well and he kissed my cheek once I did and I poked my lip out.

"How are mommy's boys this morning?" I asked, walking them out of the room and into the kitchen.

"I'm hungry, mommy." Jeremiah expressed as I put them both down.

"Well mommy made the both of you food." I said as I sat them at their small table beside the real table in the dining room.

"Are you going to eat it all?" I raised my eyebrows, looking down at Joey as he poked his lips out. He never ate his food.

"Yes, ma." He said in his little voice, sounding just like Joey and I almost cried, biting my bottom lip.

"No cry, mommy." Jeremiah spoke up as I smiled a tight smile.

"Mommy's fine. Eat your food." I told him as a few soft knocks came to the front door.

"I'll be right back." I told them as I quickly walked over to the door to see who it was.

Looking out of the peephole before opening it, I saw Ms. Carol, Messiah and Teesh.

"Hey, hoe." Teesh spoke loudly as she hugged me tightly.

"Hey." I smiled as she let me go and went to see the boys.

"Hey, mami. How are you?" Ms. Carol smiled, pulling me in for a hug.

"Okay." I shrugged and she nodded, she knew exactly how I felt. We've had plenty of talks.

"Where are my babies? I need to their little faces." She chuckled, walking into the house.

"They're eating." I pointed towards the dining room as she made her way towards it.

"Grandma!" I heard them yell, making me smile.

"What's up, Monty." Messiah mumbled as I smiled, closing the door.

"Hey."

"Let me talk to you for a minute." He nodded his head, the opposite way from where every one else was.

Following him into the family room, we took a seat on the couch and he looked over to me.

"How are you feeling for real, Mon?"

"I'm broken but you know.."

"..Josiah and Jeremiah keep me sane." I expressed and he nodded, looking down.

"I should've been there." He sighed deeply, shaking his head.

Messiah never got better after Joey passed but it was understood. That was his baby brother. He'd do anything for him including ending the person who made us hurt like this.

"If I could kill that nigga again, I would." He spoke, looking over to me with red eyes and I nodded with a sigh.

"Let's not reflect though. Let's focus on the present." I found the courage to say. I could be hateful and regretful my entire life or I could celebrate my man's life and cherish what I have now. My family.

"I love Joey and I'll love him forever but we can't dwell like that anymore. We can only celebrate him." I explained and a smile crept onto his face.

"Seriously. Though he's gone, that's still my man and he'll be in our hearts forever."

"I feel you." He smiled, looking down.

"Look I know we went through our shit back then but I'm glad you were the one my brother ended up with. God knew what he was doing put y'all together."

Feeling goosebumps, I couldn't help but to smile as he pulled me in for a hug.

"I love you, sis." His voice cracked.

"Love you too, bro." We hugged each other tight.

"Uncle Siah!" We heard the boys scream as they ran into the family room and we let each other go.

I smiled as they jumped all over him and they began to play fight like usual.

"What's up, lil niggas?" Messiah said and I smacked my lips, eyeing him.

"My fault." He chuckled as they began to talk about nothing in particular while I stood up and walked out to let them be.

Walking upstairs and looking out of my high rise windows, I looked up at the sky with a warm heart. Joey was gone but he was here. I felt him every second of the day. Even now.

"I love you, baby." I spoke to the sky as a tear fell from my eyes.

"And I'll love you forever."

*

The End.

😈

No seriously, I enjoyed writing this book and I loved all of the characters, toxic and all. It was a rollercoaster but it's reality. Everything isn't peaches and cream. It's life.

Everything isn't always an happy ending and I wanted to write at least one book that showed that. Stop arguing, stop the hate, stop the pettiness, stop the drama. Tomorrow isn't promised. Love on the people you love as much you can.

Thank you for reading, don't hate me. 🥺❤️