The night comes, and im exhausted by the hours of calling Zak over and over and texting him.

read 2:37 pm

Five hours later*

I immediately pick up my phone to see who texted me.

FINALLY

An hour passes and i sit anxiously on the sofa, waiting for Zak to get here.

*Knock Knock*

I rush up to the door and open it.

I am face to face with Zak, admiring his beautiful features. I give a slight smile and welcome him in. He just looks at me with a blank face and walks in and sits on the couch.

I pull up to his house and when he answers the door, i try so hard to hold back the tears that want to escape. He looks at me with this look, like he's admiring me? I keep my face blank and cold and go sit on the couch, feeling broken as memories from past experiences on this couch flood my memory.

When we had our practice date.

I sigh and watch tv, trying to not think of anything when i suddenly feel Darryl plop down next to me, awfully close. My heart skips a beat and no matter how much I would love to just grab and kiss him, I don't. I just act like im not bothered at all.

My eyes get heavy and then accidentally fall asleep. A few hours later, I wake up, finding myself laying directly next to Darryl, who is also asleep. Hes facing me and all i can do is think at how cute he looks when hes sleeping.

Shut up, i tell myself. He doesn't love you, get over him.

I stare at his lips, wanting to kiss them so badly. I dont allow myself and turn over, feeling defeated as a tear runs down my face.

I wake up again and feel an arm wrapped around my waist. I turn over and see Darryl has got a hold of me and is snuggling with me .

oh my god.

I slowly try to move his arm off of me but suddenly Darryl sits up in an instant.

"Jesus, you scared me."

"s-sorry, i got scared when i felt someone grab me..."

I sit up too and can't look away from his emerald eyes and messy hair.

I watch him as he rubs his eyes and then fixes his glasses, looking back up at me shortly after.

He gives a reassuring grin and i just can't even focus on anything hes doing, I want to kiss him. I look down at his lips and bite my own, noticing Darryl saw where my eyes focused and started blushing intensely and smiling.

Darryl looks back up at me and locks eyes with me, but then looks at my lips and slowly leans in, as i just sit there in awe and shock.

My heart starts beating faster and faster as he slowly gets closer. He gets so close i can feel his hot breath, and he then cowers away a little bit. He's nervous. Hes scared hes going too far.

he doesnt love you. dont fall for it.

I turn the other way and continue watching tv, holding back tears after seeing Darryl's hurt expression.

I need to get my mind off things.

"Hey im gonna go up to the mall real quick and just look around."

Darryl avoids eye contact. "oh okay, have fun."

I get in my car and drive up there, glad to not be focused on being sad so much.

hmmm...step two to my plan: make Zak fall in love with someone else. Sooner or later he will find out the truth, so in the mean time, we will find him another lover >:)

I see Zak tweet about being at the mall, so I grab a friend of mine who enjoys watching him, to come with me. At the perfect timing, BAM, I make them meet, they fall in love.

I scan the mall for Zak, who i finally see is at the food court. I tell my friend to go up to him and ask if she can get a picture etc. and then be super sweet and flirt a little.

I sit down and start eating, kinda wishing I was home, but knew it was better if I wasn't. In the corner of my eye, I see a girl, about my age, walking up to me. She's fairly pretty.

"Hello! Are you Skeppy (aka Zak) from youtube? I really like your vids, can I get a picture?"

"Yeah sure! Go ahead!"

She takes a picture and then ask kindly if she can eat with me since she has no other friends here, which i gladly say yes to.

Shes pretty and really sweet...but Darryl is so much more...why cant he just love me...

We just talk and talk about our lives and everything, how she found my channel etc. And then she ask for my phone number. I usually dont give it out to fans but she doesnt seem like the type to leak my number.

I give her my number and head home.

I knock on the door and meet eyes with Darryl, who is obviously faking a smile.

"So...you have fun?"

"Yeah...I um met this girl...she asked for me number and seems sweet."

His expression drops and i can see how much hes hurt.

"oh...okay. thats great i guess, hope everything goes well."

I give him a slight smile and just walk past him and into the kitchen. My heart slowly goes back into its saddened state as I walk to my room, constantly wishing things could go back to the way it was.

I cry for hours, realizing I cant keep feeling like this. I get drunk once again so I can forget everything and just not think about any of it.

I sit and watch tv, trying to find some joy. Suddenly Zaks door open, and I glance over and see him with a shirt off and messy hair.

He stumbles over to me while I give him a weirded out expression.

"Hey Zak? You okay?"

He chuckles and then plops down next to me.

"of course i am ya cutie."

I get lightheaded at the amount of adrenaline pumping through my body.

"O-oh um haha um t-thank you."

I can feel my face getting hotter by the second ... i miss him so much...

He then bites his lips and then looks at my lips.

"you're cute when ur nervous ahahaha"

I gulp the lump in my throat and before I can say anything, I feel his soft lips against my own.

I melt into the kiss and butterflies fill my stomach. i needed this so badly

He wraps his arms around my neck and I turn my head and deepen the kiss. wait...but Zak wouldnt want this. He doesnt want anything to do with me right now.

I slowly pull away and look down as tears fill my eyes. His expression saddens and he wipes a tear from my cheek.

"whats wrong my muffin?"

I look up at him and sniffle.

"Can I tell you something?"

"g-go aheaD."

I sigh and then wipe my eyes.

"Zak...I love you. And im only telling you this because You wont remember. But I love you. I love you a lot. I never wanted to date Abby and I never had sex with her or anything, I want you and only you."

Tears fill his eyes and he hugs me. "i lOvvvE you too Darryl, soO why dont you just tell me this again wheN im sober, hmm?"

"Because you wont listen to me and you hate me."

He pulls away and gives a confused look.

"Well I dont like my sober self, I like my drunk self."

I chuckle as more tears come down my eyes and he kisses me on the cheek. "Im tired. can yoU come lay down with me?"

"I would love too."

We go lay down and he snuggles into my body and lays his head on my chest. Why can't he be like this when he wakes up.

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