"Are you ok?" Arta asked when he did not respond to her kisses. "Don't you want to have a child anymore?" Arta's heart was pounding in her chest. She kissed him again hesitantly.

Osman pulled himself a bit further away from her "Of course I want, with all my being."

"Then what is the problem?" Arta sat up and covered herself with a quilt.

"I think you have not fully recovered and it's better to wait."

Arta let out the breath she was holding as a sign of relief "Don't be silly, I'm totally fine and I know that I'm ready."

Osman started to wear his clothes quickly.

"What are you doing?" Arta asked in disbelief.

"Sorry love I just remember that I have to check something with one of our companions and give him some instructions, I'll try to be back soon, but you don't need to wait for me, sleep, you must be tired."

"What? Are you serious? Osman..." Osman had already left the tent.

Osman took a deep breath to calm himself when he left the tent. What should he do now? What should he tell her? He definitely cannot tell her the truth, it would be devastating.

Arta was not feeling any better. She was confused by Osman's act. Why did he run away? Wasn't he the one who wanted a child in the first place? What has changed now? Was he truly concerned about her or something else was going on? Her mind was working fast and thinking about different reasons. But in the end, it was guilt that filled her heart. The guilt of betraying Osman and the guilt of losing her child. She blamed herself.

Osman walked for a few hours around their camp and talked with different people.

"Hopefully, she is asleep by now," He thought to himself and headed back to the tent. He entered the tent. Arta was asleep, he was lucky but he has to come up with an excuse tomorrow.

***

"Good morning to you too," Arta said when Osman opened his eyes. They were lying on the bed facing each other.

"Oh good morning!" Osman said and stretch himself.

"Well, I'm listening." Arta said as she was sitting up on the bed.

"What?"

"What do you mean what? What happened last night?"

"Oh that. Emmm..." Osman looked around for a second "Sorry I came back later than I was expecting. I told you I needed to arrange some stuff."

"You don't think that I'm going to believe that, right?"

"What do you mean? I'm telling you the truth." Osman was trying so hard to look innocent.

"What was so urgent that you had to leave me like that in the middle of... well you know."

"Oh shit" Osman slapped himself on the face in his mind. "Well I had this important thing to do. I don't want to bother you with my things."

"No please I insist, bother me. What was it that you had to leave so hastily?"

"Ok if you insist then I'll tell you." Osman was thinking and thinking but nothing came to his mind. There was a moment of silence.

"Well..." Arta stood up, crossing her hands on the chest waiting. Osman cleared his throat and sat on the bed.

"It was...the horse. Yes, the horse. One of our horses was sick and I had to end his life. Last night I suddenly remembered that and I did not want to bother you and ruin our beautiful night. But you know the poor thing was suffering and I had to put him down."

"Wasn't there anybody else to do this job?" Arta asked still looking suspicious.

"Of course there is, but this horse was special to me. That's why I had to do it."

Arta was still looking at him with narrowed eyes. Osman clapped his hands and jumped out of the bed "We have a long way ahead of us. It's better to gather things up and hit the road."

He quickly changed his clothes and briefly kissed Arta's lips and ran toward the tent's door. "I'll call for Nahla." Then he disappeared.

Of course, Arta was not convinced of his excuse but what else she could do.

***

A few days passed and Osman was intentionally busying himself so that he could escape from being alone with Arta. He rode with his men and had asked Arta to stay in the palanquin most of the time so that she could handle the heat. At night he usually returned to their tent when he was sure that Arta was asleep.

"Are you tired?" Osman asked Arta while riding his horse beside Arta's palanquin.

"As if you care!" Arta rolled her eyes and looked in the opposite direction.

"Are you mad at me?"

Arta did not reply.

"We'll reach the capital within four days," Osman said. Arta was still silent "when we arrive there I'll probably be busy for a couple of days and..."

"Don't you want to have kids anymore?" She asked suddenly. Osman was not expecting this question now, the question that he was avoiding and afraid to answer throughout their journey.

"Or maybe you just don't want to have kids with me anymore, is that so?" Arta's tone was now saddened a bit and her eyes filled with tears. "Why can't you just be honest with me?" a drop of tear fell down her eyes and she quickly wiped her face.

After a few seconds, Osman said "now is not the place to talk about this. We will talk when we camp for the night." He hit his horse and rode faster to keep his distance from Arta. He did not know yet what to tell her. Should he tell her the truth or hide the truth? But he knew that he can no longer avoid her.

***

It was a very long day for Arta. She was mentally exhausted and impatient to see Osman and hear his explanations.

A warm and relaxing bath was prepared by Nahla. She dismissed her and slip into the bath. She closed her eyes and let the warmth of the water relax her body. Her eyes were closed but she could sense someone was staring at her. She quickly opened her eyes and covered her body with her hands.

"Oh my God, you scared me to death, what are you doing here?"

"What do you mean? This is our tent and you are my wife. I'm enjoying this beautiful scene in front of me."

"You pervert! Stop looking at me and give me the towel."

Osman shrugged "as if I have not seen everything before."

"Shut up!" She grabbed the towel from him and covered herself.

"Are you hungry? Let's have dinner." Osman asked while Arta went behind a curtain to wear clothes.

"I don't have an appetite," Arta said as she reappeared from behind the curtain wearing a white sleeveless silk dress.

Osman looked at her in admiration. He walked toward Arta and stood in front of her. She crossed her arms and was doing her best to look offended. Osman grabbed her by the chin and get her to look at him.

"We have come a long way Arta, don't you agree?" she opened her mouth to say something but he stopped her. "Just listen to me." He said softly. "you know that how much I love you, I don't think that I need to explain this to you," he looked down and took a deep breath then he continued "The reason behind my behavior was that I simply just thought you are not ready yet to have another baby." Arta narrowed her eyes. "And more importantly, I don't want to put your life in danger again. What if we don't have a baby at all, so what? I don't care as long as we are together."

Arta laughed "So that's the reason. You think that I'll die if I get pregnant?" it was a huge relief for her.

"It is not funny." Osman said "You almost died when..." the memory of those days was too hard for him to recall.

Arta hugged him "I know. I'm sorry to make you worried. I'm sorry that I couldn't save our child."

"Don't say that. You must not blame yourself."

"That's why I need to have a child, to pull myself out of this misery. Now I feel like a mother but without a child. Although I never got the chance to hug my baby or even realize his existence, I felt that love. Now I constantly feel a part of me is missing. I know you also felt that love, I know you also want to have a baby." She held his head with her hands and looked directly into his eyes with her watery amber eyes, "So why should we wait? I'm more than ready to have a baby."

Osman hugged her tightly "If that's what you want, who am I to prevent you from becoming a mother. You will be a wonderful mother to our children." He lifted her effortlessly and put her on the bed.

"I'm all yours. I love you!" Arta whispered in his ears as their body become one.

***

The last day before they reach their destination Arta was in Osman's arms exhausted from their travel in the scorching desert sun during the days and their sweaty hot moments during the nights.

Osman had a mixed feeling. He wanted to believe that a miracle will happen and the doctor was wrong about Arta not being able to get pregnant again. Also, he was feeling guilty to hide this from Arta but he did not have the heart to tell her. He could only pray to God for a miracle.

"Osman, where are you?" Arta was poking Osman "I bet you did not hear a word that I said, What is the matter?"

"Oh sorry love, I was just thinking about tomorrow. What were you saying?"

"I said where are we going to stay when we arrive at the capital?"

"For now we will stay at Sultan's palace. I need to be close to my father."

"Ok, I understand."

"It may not be so convenient for you but you will get used to it."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm guessing my brother and his family are also there" Osman paused and quickly added, "and probably some other people."

"What is wrong about your brother and his family being there? And who are those other people?" Arta asked.

"Well, the relationship with my brother is a bit complicated. His mother is the second wife of my father."

"Okay. But still, he is your brother. I don't think that I need to be worried about him. Who are the other people?"

"Let's hope so. We will soon arrive and you will get to know them, let's sleep now cause I'm extremely tired." He tightly held her in his arms, kissed her, and sniffed her unique scent.

Arta felt a bit nervous. Tomorrow was the day that she would see Osman's family for the first time. The city that he grew up in and the people that she had known as uncivilized and the enemy all her life.