[Chapter 10: Why The Fuck Do People Always Say "The Calm Before The Storm?!]

I know that I was only using that nickname for teasing purposes but, why was my brother so... so...

Munching on my dinner slowly, I stared that Naruto and Sasuke with disgust as they held their little... 'eating competition'. I knew that I'm dumb but one should always savor their food! Tazuna laughed, "This is fantastic, it's been ages since we've had so many guests around the table!"

Within seconds, they slammed their bowls at the same time but then raised it once more and screamed. "Seconds please!" And then they threw up. Boiling with anger, I abruptly stood up, slammed of hands onto the table, and full-out glared at them, my chair falling in the process.

"YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING DUMMIES!!!" I yelled, oozing out every inch of killing intent I had. The boys gulps in fear, even Sasuke. It's actually rare for me to be angry but with food, it is a very, very, different case. In the corner of my eyes, Sakura held a surprised pikachu expression along with mostly everyone else whilst Kakashi looked with mild shock and amusement.

I landed a finger at the trembling Blonde in orange. "Naruto! The fucking hell you doing!? I know you wanna beat Sasuke but don't involve food in this!" I then moved to the duckhead. "And you!" He flinched. "Foolish little brother I thought you would behave yourself! Fucking duckhead don't try to be the best at everything, that's just impossible and stupid!!"

I placed my hands on my hips and huffed. "You better not waste anymore food." They nodded frantically. Leaving my gaze on them for a few seconds, I sighed and set up my chair and slumped in it. "Well now that that's out of the way." I grabbed my spoon and scooped a spoonful of food and fed myself. I let out a satisfied noise, setting a hand on my cheek with a smile. Everyone sweat dropped.

It was silent for a moment until Sakura piped up. "Excuse me, but, this picture is torn." She pointed out, staring at a picture frame. I put down my spoon with a grim line, knowing what was gonna happen next. The pinkette glaced at Inari who was silent the whole dinner. "Inari, you've been looking at that picture since dinner. Looks like there was someone else but it's torn off."

There was a sudden change in the atmosphere, but I had expected it. "...It's my husband." Tsunami spoke in a quiet whisper, so soft that if I wasn't a ninja I probably wouldn't have heard it.

"They used to call him a hero here." Tazuna added.

Wincing at the creak of a chair, I darted my eyes at the small leaving silhouette of Inari. "Inari where are you going?!" Tsunami called out, receiving no answer in return. She turned her head to her father. "Father, I told you not to talk about him in front of Inari!" She sighed and got up to close the door. When she sat back down, it was back to the tense mood.

Kakashi let out a hum, gaining attention to all of us. "There seems to be some kind of explanation." He inquired. And then began the story of the Hero. I didn't zone out like usual, even though I already heard this hundreds of times. It was disrespectful after all, and thought I may be potrayed as a dumb air-headed girl, I knew when to take a hint.

Naruto stood up abruptly, then crashed to the ground. Standing up as well, I rushed up to help him up. Sakura sighed as Sasuke let out an annoyed 'Hn'. "What are you doing Naruto?" She asked.

Our teacher let out another hum. "You better get some rest Naruto; you've used too much chakra. If you pushed harder, it'll kill you." Like Kuruma will allow it. I stated in my mind.

"I'm gonna prove it!" Naruto yelled out, shakingly standing up with my help. "Prove that it's true... that in this world... There are real heroes!"

Even that I've seen this- watched it- I couldn't help but smile.

Waking up from a dreamless slumber, I look around to see myself once again in the guest room that I shared with Sakura, who was not present. Scratching my messy bed-head, I get up in my navy pajamas and head off into the bathroom. After scrubbing my teeth with toothpaste and water, and thought 'to hell with it' and let my messy hair stay down, too lazy to do anything with it.

When I was done changing and grabbing a certain something, I went to the dining room to see Kakashi, Sasuke, and Tsunami already awake. "Mornin, Dum dum, foolish brother, Bubblegum-chan, Tsunami." I greeted with a groggy voice, waving at them.

"Why does only Tsunami get greeted normally." Kakashi asked with a deadpan. Sasuke only let out a 'Hn' and a nod. Tsunami and Sakura looked over and said hello back before continuing on making breakfast.

"Is Naruto awake?" I questioned, ignoring the gray-haired man's comment.

"Hn. Dobe's probably training to death." Sasuke added, hands in his pocket in a cool and aloof manner.

"Breakfast is ready!" Tsunami called out as Sakura setted the plates.

"I'll go get Naruto then." I stated, earning a nod from Kakashi. Dashing to the forest after grabbing something in my bag, I only hope that I was fast enough. Before starting my sensoring training, I scouted the area since a certain person is too smart to be gathering herbs next to their target's house.

Rushing in the grass, I clenched the scroll I held, containing a warning about a certain cat. I really hoped that this would work because I am not in the mood for killing or even fighting in general.

I skid to a slower pace when I finally find two figures in the distance. "Naruto!" I called out, waving my hand as I got closer. The said blond and Haku turned their heads at my direction. "Who's ya friend?" I asked even though I already knew. It's better to be seen ignorant after all.

"Ah, Megumi-chan! I was just helping Nee-chan by grabbing herbs, dattebayo!" He answered, well, not really. I stared at Haku, hoping that my acting skills were on point and that he couldn't tell that I knew who he was.

"That's nice, Naruto." I said, turning my eyes to him to not be suspicious. I dart my onyx eyes back at the other male with a smile. "Heya, I'm Megumi; nice to meet ya!" I held out a hand.

Haku smiled gently; I blushed slightly, if he totally wasn't a dangerous ninja I totally would have flirted with him. Maybe later? "Same." We shook hands, but before I let go, I slid the scroll into his sleeve. He looked at me confused but I dismissed it as I took all my attention towards Naruto.

"C'mon Naruto! We need to get breakfast!" I exclaimed, grabbing his arm. Naruto looked like he wanted to object but decided not too.

"Ah, byebye Nee-chan!" He said, grinning with a wave. I waved also with a smile.

He returned it before turning around completely. "Goodbye, we'll meet again sometime soon." After a few steps of walking, he did a 45-degree angle with a teasing smile on his clear face. "Oh, and by the way, I'm a boy." And then he left.

Naruto tensed, his mouth agape as I covered my mouth to try to stifle my laughter. Keyword: tried. The blond then suddenly snapped out of his daze and shouted with such confusion. "W-WHAT?!?!?!" I couldn't hold it anymore; I fell to the ground and clutched my aching sides and I started laughing hysterically, face becoming red and eyes tearing up.

"H-HEY! DON'T LAUGH, DATTEBAYO!!!"

A kunai flung at at Kakashi's feet, causing both him, Sakura, and myself to glance up. On a branch was Naruto who laying on his stomach, grinning triumphantly. From the left of me, Sakura spoke. "Whoa, he can climb that high now? Amazing!"

"What'd you guys think?! I mean, it's a long way down there, dattebayo!" The blond exclaimed happily from his branch. He then 'tripped' and slipped down from the wood. I smiled and giggled as Sakura shrieked in worry when he then caught himself upside down. "Haha! You guys fell for it, dattebayo!" He continued laughing upside down.

Sakura held up her fist angrily with gritting teeth, steam coming out of her. "Hey! We were really worried about you Naruto!" And then he fell. "CHA-!"

"Cha real smooth."

"-You just had to push it, show off!" She added, even though I knew he was not faking it this time. Free Falling for a good few seconds, his ankle was suddenly caught by Sasuke who was also upside down on the branch. Blushing, the pinkette gushed with hearts in her eyes. "Ah, Sasuke-kun you're so cool~!"

I slightly deadpan at the girl's actions. I swear to Pein she's like an annoying version of Zenitsu. Wait- shit- wrong show- "I'm glad I ain't like that." I mumble under my breath. That doesn't count the days where I would stare at Itachi for hours on the computer and when going to bed I would listen to anime guys ASMR to fall asleep. Nope. Not at .

I sat patiently at the table. I was starving from training and helping out with the town and I really really wanted some food right now but nooooooooo, we had to wait for Naruto and my foolish little brother. I sigh with a hand on my cheek. The fight with Zabuza was gonna happen soon and I hope that they took my warning. If not, then I don't know what else to do.

Get in front of Haku and get impaled from Kakashi's chidori? Nah, the dum dum has enough trauma and that wouldn't really help Zabuza's case. Even if I only saved Haku, he'd would probably be really suicidal without him. I sigh, I prayed that they listened (probably not but at least I can try). I sigh and tuck a loose black lock behind my ear, Imma look like a Hakate if I continue thinking about this.

Sakura glanced at the door leading to the forest in worry. "They're both late. I wouldn't expect it from Sasuke-kun but..."

"I would," I piped in. The pinkette turned at me with curiosity. "Yeah, he's done it a lot when training at home and I'd always have to carry his flat bootie home." I added with a nostalgic yet teasing grin. Kakashi though reading his Icha Icha, I knew he was listening with his eye showing amusement. Unless that amusement was for his porn.

The door burst open as Sasuke walked in practically carrying Naruto around his shoulder. Tazuna stared at them with disinterest. "Where have you been? You two look like the cat dragged in." You know I never understood that metaphor. The author would like to know. I mean what?

Though clearly tired and bruised, the ball of sunshine grinned and lifted up a thumbs up. "We both made it... to the top, dattebayo!"

Our gray-haired teacher nodded and glanced at the four of us. "Alright, starting tomorrow, you two will also be bodyguards for Tazuna."

Naruto cheered loudly, causing himself to fall out of Sasuke's grasp. He also took the said Uchiha down with him. "Gah- you dobe!" He called in expiration. I let out a giggle as I got up to help the dead tired boys. When I helped them onto their chairs, we began eating. This country may be poor but holy shit Tsunami's food is AMAZING! And I've tasted some amazing shit.

Like McDonald's.

After we finished our food, Tazuna took the time to clear his throat, gaining the attention from all of us. "In a few days, we'll be finishing the bridge!" He announced.

Tsunami took the dishes from us and cast a worried expression to her father, "That's great but, please be careful."

The said person nodded and turned his attention to Kakashi. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask you this but I haven't got a chance 'til now. Why did you stay, when I've lied to you all?" He inquired. I zoned out whilst he explained, I realize that I really like zoning out. Maybe it's be cause the Author is a stupid bitch that uses fanfiction as a source instead of actually using the actual manga or anime like a good writer should! I mean what???

"But... Why?" Inari suddenly spoke, staring at mostly Naruto with a tear-filled expression. I slightly tensed up, I never liked seeing children sad or cry.

The blond in question raised his head tiredly, "What'd ya say?"

The boy then slammed the table weakly and shouted. "All this stupid training's just a waste of time!"Gato's got a whole army that can destroy you!" Tears ran down his chubby face. "These stuff you keep on saying... they mean nothing! It doesn't matter, the strong will always win!"

"Just speak for yourself! It won't be like that, dattebayo!" He retaliated back in an angry tone.

"Why don't you shut up?! You don't know anything and just butting in! Always laughing and playing , you don't know what it's like to suffer and be treated like dirt!" Oof, if ya knew.

Naruto visibly tensed before standing up and pointing at the child with rage. "Listen to ya self! Whining and complaining like a sorry victim! You can cry all day for all I care, dattebayo! You're nothing but a big fat coward!" Still crying like a little baby - oh wait he is one, Inari let out a loud sob before rushing out of the room.

"Naruto, you went too far!" Sakura scolded at him.

"No he didn't," I objected. They both stared at me in shock. "It may not have been the best way to, but someone had to beat some sense into him. We can't have emo kids here ya know?" I end with a joke to lighten up the mood. In the corners of my eyes, I see Sasuke 'hn' in annoyance, absolutely 100% sure I was talking about him.

Naruto still stare at me with wide eyes. I guess he's still not used to me - or anyone in general- speaking up for him. I let out a sigh and ran a hand through my long black hair "Welp, since I'm a nice person, imma go cheer up the brat. Ok bye."

"Nice weather we're having, really." I said when I found the child.

Gazing at the ocean like an edgy anime character - oh wait he is, he glared at me with watery eyes and puffy cheeks. "What do you want? I don't need your pity!" He yelled.

"I'm not trying to: in fact I'm pretty pissed at ya." I stated, walking to sit next to him. Closing my eyes, I relished the cool wind blowing against me and let out a sigh through my nose. "But since I'm a nice person, I'll give ya a pep talk cuz ya need it."

He turned his head away but didn't move from his spot. "I know that the little ball of sunshine was mean and all but ya gotta understand dude," I started pulling a strand of my hair back and opening my eyes. "Naruto's an orphan." I said bluntly.

The sheer bluntness got Inari whipping his head back at me with wide eyes. "Wh-what?"

"You heard me. He's also hated by the village yet you don't see him crying do ya?" I faced him, smiling as I reached out my hand to softly pat his head. "So don't think nobody hasn't gone into the same pain as you." He sniffled as fresh tears fell down his chubby cheeks.

"If ya do then I'll burn your ass!" I added, my smile changing into a grin. He widened his eyes but let out a shaky laugh as he let me continue my patting.

We stayed like that until he fell asleep. Letting out another sigh, I picked his small body up and headed inside. When I was inside, I was surprised to find Kakashi standing casually at the door way. Well not really since he was the one to confront Inari in the canon.

"Hewwo dum dum." I whispered nonchalantly, not wanting to wake the sleeping boy up. He sweatdropped at my comment.

"Why can't you just call me Sensei?"

"Because you are a dum dum."

He was silent for a moment before changing the topic, "...I didn't think you'd be the type to comfort children."

"I'm used to comforting children." Was all I said. "C'mon, ya dum dum, let's go into a temporary death state."

"Sleep. It's called ''sleep."

"It's also called a coma! And a concussion. a-"

"Just go to sleep."

(Somewhere in Part 1: I'm too lazy to figure it out lolol also, please note that this is no canon)

So.

We don't have Christmas.

I repeat:

I practically felll of my wheelies when I found that out.

And so now, at long last, 2 days before that special day, I will do my fucking best to created the best fucking Christmas party ever. Well- the only Christmas party- but who the fuck cares about that.

"SASUKE, HO HO HOLY " I shrieked, kicking the apartment door down. The said foolish little brother jumped from his spot in the sofa, whipping his head at me as if I was a school shooter.

"NEE-CHAN, CAN YOU STOP DOING THAT?!" He yelled, something he never does but I'm an exception, furrowing his brows together.

"Never~" I cheerfully responded as I stepped away from the broken piece of wood and actuaries my way into my room.

From where he stood, I heard the distinct sound of him smacking his forehead. "Hn... this is the 1634th time you've broken our goddamn door." He grumbled, sounding so down with my bullshit. Which is totally not the case, right~?

Rushing out with my wallet, I take a step out of the doorway just before sharply turning my head at the fucker. "You," I pointed a finger at him. "Will go buy us a mountain load of food!"

He raised a brow of confusion where he sat. "...Why?"

"For a Christmas party!"

"A what?"

"A special holiday! Always, if you don't do as I say..." I smiled, though it did not reach my eyes. "I'll dye your hair bright, neon, ." He shivered. Letting out a few giggles with mischief, I waved the terrified boy goodbye and started my quest to defeat the demon lor- er- I mean- celebrate the forgotten holiday!

"Christmas? What's that?" Sakura questioned me when I found her and the girls hanging out.

"A holiday where we give presents to each other and say how thankful we are!" I responded. And when Jesus was born and when 83 million trees die. I thought to my head.

"A holiday like that exists?" Tenten asks, peering from the side.

"Yeah!" I magically summoned invitations out of thin air and handed each one of them. "We're having a Christmas party 2 days from now and giving each other gifts!" I

smiled. "So go tell the others and be there!"

"Oh, cool! Is Sasuke-kun also gonna be there?!" Ino demanded me excitedly, getting pumped simply because it was a party.

"Oh, Ino," I giggled at them. "I'm going to force him, no matter if he wants to or not." She laughed, thinking that I was exaggerating it. I wasn't: I've chained him to a pole once before and I will do it again if I have to.