When I wake the next morning it's raining again, making my room dark and dreary.

How appropriate!

I roll to the edge of my bed to check the time on my phone and immediately regret it.

What was I thinking downing almost an entire bottle of wine last night?

My head is pounding and my stomach does not feel good!

When my eye's finally focus I notice a note next to my phone from mum.

I hope you have a bloody good reason for drinking my wine and then throwing it back up all over the bathroom sink young lady!!!!!!

I'll be at the cafe all day cause Carol called in sick, but when I get home we will be having a serious discussion!!!!

Shit!

I vaguely remember stumbling into the bathroom last night. She is going to be so pissed off when she gets home.

I lay back and stare at the ceiling, I'm going to have to do some serious sucking up.

Then suddenly I hear banging at the front door.

"Maddie let me in, we need to talk!"

Double shit!

I don't want to talk to him right now, besides the fact that I'll probably vomit all over him, I cannot handle another discussion like yesterdays.

He pounds on the door some more, harder this time.

"Maddie! I know you're in there, stop ignoring me and please let me in."

I can hear the desperation in his voice and it breaks my heart, but I just can't face him.

I don't move and he pounds on the door some more.

"Please Maddie, please let me in!"

This time his voice cracks as he calls my name.

"Please just talk to me! We can sort this out."

I knew when I told him I loved him there was no going back.

I'm so embarrassed! How can I ever face him again without feeling like a total friend-zoned loser?

I grab my phone off my bedside table, connect to my headphones and scroll through my playlists. A song that mirrors my mood stands out to me straight away. I pull the covers over my head and with Billie Eilish's, When The Party's Over, blasting in my ears, I can drown out Hunter's pleas.

I start to sing along with the sad words and shed a few tears before my heavy, wet eyelids close again allowing me to escape reality for just a little bit longer.

I'm startled awake by the sound of my phone ringing next to me.

It's Hunter, I ignore it again and let it go to voicemail.

I'm feeling a little better now and decide before I open up the can of worms that is my many unread messages and voicemails, I need a shower first.

When I enter the bathroom I notice mum has mostly cleaned up the sink, so to try and get back into her good books and clean the rest of the bathroom before getting in the shower, good thing it's a small space because my stomach's still a bit tender from my brilliant decision to down copious amounts of alcohol last night.

The hot water feels so good on my skin. I like my showers extra hot! Not enough to burn me but enough for it to sting my skin a little, for some reason it relaxes me.

After I've done a tidy up of the house, which again isn't a large space so it doesn't take me too long, I decide I need to do what I've been dreading since last night; look at my messages!

I read the numerous texts from Hunter, there's even more now.

All saying pretty much the same thing, please talk to me, we can sort this out, I'm sorry for how I reacted, I was just surprised.

Before I text back I listen to the voicemails as well.

Again, Hunter's all say the same thing but I can tell by his voice he's getting more and more upset.

Sienna wants to know what's going on because she's been getting weird texts from Hunter saying I've lost the plot and won't talk to him.

But most surprising of all is Emily's message,

I hope you're happy now! Hunter has been beside himself, which ruined our date by the way. What a selfish thing to do telling him you're in love with him when he's with me. He doesn't want you, Maddie, he wants me. Why would you even think there was a chance after I just told you we slept together. You really are delusional! Maybe you staying away is a good thing, I don't want Hunter always walking on eggshells around you and you need to get over him. I definitely think some distance would solve everyone's problems.

Then she just hangs up.

Wow! Way to kick a girl when she's down!

I always thought she was a little uncomfortable with our friendship but I'm starting to think she doesn't actually like me at all, and how could Hunter tell her about my declaration, that was personal and private and so hard for me to finally say to his face.

I feel angry now which feels good, way better than feeling sad and rejected. It's probably not the best time to text him back when so I'm angry. But I need to say.......something.

How could you tell Emily about my feelings for you, that was personal and so hard for me to do. Maybe she's right though, I think a break from each other is what I need right now, what we both need.

I hit send and wait for a reply, which I get the feeling won't take long.

FINALLY!!! I'm really sorry I told her but I didn't want to lie to her.

What do you mean a break???? What did Emily say to you????

Figures she didn't tell him about her lovely heartfelt message.

It doesn't matter what she said, I'm hurt and I'm embarrassed and I just want to be left alone right now. Please don't text or call me anymore, if I have too I will block your number and please don't come around. Just give me some space, that's all I'm asking for right now!

I feel like a horrible person, he doesn't deserve this, but this is just how it has to be, for now anyway. They say time is a great healer, so I guess only time will tell. My phone dings again and when I look at the screen all I see is 'ok' with a sad face emoji next to it.

What a crap year this is turning out to be, it's only January and I've already lost my best friend!