I came to realize no matter how many parenting books you read or videos you watch all that training nearly flies out the window when the child is about to arrive. The arrival came at what I could only describe as the worst possible time.

I was panicking at the fact my amniotic sac had made a home for itself on the bed covers. Eva helped put on sweatpants and shoes. With her running around I truly wished the child had waited until the due date which was in two months instead of coming at a time where we were both losing our minds over Nicky. But as much as I did not want to stop worrying I had to focus on the fact my child needed me.

Once Eva grabbed the hospital bag Nicky and I had prepared in case anything should happen, we bolted for the door. Marcie who had been in the living room with her father jumped to their feet once they were alerted of my predicament.

With everyone yelling and looking alarmed I was trying to take deep calming breaths because I was the type of person who fed off of people's energy. If someone I cared for was deeply upset I was prone to become upset as well. I was finding it difficult to ignore the constant bickering and panic from both Marcie and Joseph until Eva took charge and snapped, "HEY! Calm the HELL dooown," she stressed baring her teeth in a manner that caused even Joseph to shut his mouth like an obedient child," The last thing we want is to stress her." She rubbed my back gently and I grew immensely grateful to have her there.

Everyone fell into a state of silence that had me coming to full grips with the fact that it was time. I'd finally be meeting my child.

Grasping Joseph's hand he glanced in my direction holding a question of his own in his onyx eyes, "Is he..." I breathed afraid to ask and he went on to take me out of my misery to say, "He's been rushed to the hospital, Elle is already on her way there. But I'll keep an eye on him so all you need to worry ab –"

He stopped short when I released a shriek at the first contraction. If I complained about the cramps I experienced at the time of the month I was already doubting if I'd be able to manage the pain whilst pushing out an entire human being.

"Yeah... worry about that," he chuckled nervously, once the pain subsided and the doors to the elevator opened. I was quickly ushered to the vehicle which whisked us away. Although it was ideal to only rush to the hospital when the contractions were mere minutes apart deep down I needed to be close to him to ensure he was fine. I needed to see him for myself in order to quieten the anxiety simmering beyond my skin.

From the looks on everyone's faces I could tell they were trying not to lose composure. As if sensing my eyes on her Marcie briefly glanced in my direction and gave me a small smile. The curve of her lips trembling slightly as she too fought against the need to frown or cry. I gave her a smile in return to her whilst sending a silent prayer to the one above that all was well.

Overtaking the cars on the road even though the vehicle was moving at a considerably fast speed it took a lot out of me not to lounge out of it when we arrived at the hospital.

Taking a seat on the wheelchair, Eva was by my side when I was rushed off to the private room we had already paid for. But I briefly glanced in Joseph's direction once more to let him know that he had a duty to keep an eye on Nicky. As if he could read my mind he nodded his head firmly and that made me settle a bit.

Still I was terrified about what was to come as another contraction occurred that had me squeezing Eva's hand which I was surprised didn't break. "The joy of motherhood, huh?" she winced lightly after I threw her an apologetic look at inflicting pain on her hand.

Looking up at her, her presence offered a blanket of security that being uncertain of what was to come was fine which caused me to immediately confess, "I-I'm scared..." During the course of my life and pregnancy I heard stories about complications that took place during the course of the birth that often led to fatalities between either the mother and/or chid.

I feared I'd be another sad tale and as she looked down at me she smiled gently, "It's only natural... but everything is going to be fine. And I do mean everything," she emphasized letting me know she also meant things far beyond just the birth, "this child's going to enter this world and receive nothing but love from everyone especially you and Nicky, okay?" she prodded making me nod.

As I settled onto the hospital bed I looked up at the ceiling focusing on the bright lights blaring down upon me to take a deep breath and whispered to myself, "Okay, let's do this..."

***

Eighteen hours...

That's how long it took for the Heavens to finally open up and allow one of their angels to come down in the shape and form of a baby boy. The burst of joy and pride I felt when I saw his blood covered body would never be surpassed by any other feeling.

The pain had been as horrible as I had been told it would be. I used to wonder why some women often wanted to have more children if its only inevitable they'd suffer pain that could damage their bodies. But once I saw him, for the very first time did the answer finally avail itself to me.

He was so small which was one of my first observations of him. His size was normal for a premature baby as the nurse carried him into the room as he cried. But once he settled into my arms the crying stopped and the tiny being opened his eyes to look up at me. And the first sight of his eyes broke me down and I became a wailing mess clutching him tightly kissing his face over and over again. "Hi baby... my sweet angel," I cooed and listening to him try speak for the first time warmed my heart as I vowed to do everything in my power to protect my sweet boy.

"Wow..." looking up at the soft voice I found Eva by the threshold with tears in her eyes. The moisture added a shine to her face as she came closer and plopped herself by me to see her grandchild, "he's so beautiful," she whispered in awe tracing his skin that was a beautiful smooth caramel color.

With my child here and healthy he filled a piece of me that I never knew needed to be filled. But as much as the sun shone upon us I could not shake off the nagging feeling gnawing at my heart, "How is he?" I asked only to have her smile falter at the question making me grow concerned. I had wanted Nicky to be there coaching me through and holding my hand throughout the process but nothing ever does go to plan. Fortunately Eva had been there with me.

At the question she looked away and I watched as tears fell past her trembling lips and the minute she replied I could already tell she was lying, "He's just resting u –"

"Don't lie to me... tell me where he is. He needs to come hold his son," I insisted looking down at the child in concern when he began crying all of a sudden. "I'm afraid that's..." Joseph murmured clearing his throat. His hair was tousled haphazardly and I could tell he was trying to make himself appear smaller than he really was as his eyes darted all over the room.

I wanted to disappear as his mouth opened up again after wavering to confirm what I feared. "N-no, no, no, no. YOU'RE LYING!" I screamed and my face grew remorseful trying to hush the child whose wails bounced off the walls of the room whilst I tried to come to grips with the words weighing me down filling my heart and lungs making it harder to breathe. The child was removed from my arms whilst I broke down telling myself the nightmare would come to an end.

But as I gripped the hospital sheets and the pain spread throughout my chest paralyzing me it felt so real. I wished it hadn't been real but it was. The look in Joseph's eyes along with the solemn look on Eva's face made it all real and there was really no way I could escape it.

It truly was a tragedy to be blessed with a life only to have one taken away.