It's been 4 months since I found out that I was pregnant again..3 months since the cast and I decided to not talk anymore. It's been rough, but today Keegan and I are going to find out what the gender of the baby is. So today is happy.

When we get there, my name gets called and we go back. As the doctor is looking, she makes a weird face.

"Looks like a boy and a girl!" She says.

"Twins?" I question, scared and honestly wanting to have heard wrong.

"Yes ma'am. It's very high risk, but looks good right now."

We talk some more and decided to take two cars home so Keegan can go to work and I can have a girls day out. After getting in my car and heading out, I remember that I have no girls to have a girls day out with. Shay and I still talk some, but not a lot at all. She comes and stays at the house sometimes...says she stays with her mom mostly because she's sick. So I guess I could call her, that might be good. I'm sure Sophie and Cassie would love to see her. So I call her.

"Troian!! Hey." She says obviously surprised to have gotten a call.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I ask.

"Um I had today off set so not much."

"Do you want to go cruising for a few hours? I need to talk I'm really stressed."

"Sure. I'm at my friends house though so can you pick me up here?"

"Yeah. Where at?"

"Remember how I talk about my friend Dylan?"

"Oh yeah the one that lives on Hollywood Drive?"

"That's the one."

"Okay I'll be there in 20."

"Alright."

I get to Shays friends house and start to walk up to the door to ring the doorbell when Shay opens the door and comes out.

"Well hi can I not meet Dylan?"

"She's busy right now, talking to her boyfriend on the phone." She rambles out.

"Oh okay." I laugh and we walk to the car.

"I haven't talked to you, like really talked to you in forever Troian!! I feel like I just come help with the kids once every month when you need me then we don't talk." She whines.

"I know." I whine back.

"I'm so sorry about what I said when we found out you were pregnant again. I, just trying to make sure you're doing the right thing, but I'll support you."

"I love hearing you say that, but I wish the rest of the cast felt that way."

"I know, and I'm so sorry that. I've tried to get them to understand but they just don't."

"Well at least I have you, that's what I'm most concerned about is having their godmother around."

"Oh I get to be the godmother for this one too?!" She says excitedly.

"It would be weird if I gave this last one a different godmother don't you think?" I laugh.

"Yay!!" She squeals.

"So how are you and the baby?" She asks.

I don't say anything for a minute, trying to decided whether or not to tell her I'm having twins.

"Hello?" She says, confused.

"Well it's high risk." I say.

"What? Why?"

"Since Sophia was so small and so was Cassadee, and since I'm having twins they'll probably be tiny."

"What did you just say?"

"The twins or the tiny?"

"What do you think?! The twins part! You're having twins?"

"Apparently." I sigh.

"Troian that's great! When did you find that out?"

"Today. Today was the 4 month mark so we went to find out genders but we got a whole lot more than that." I laugh.

"So what are they?" She yells. I laugh again.

"One girl and one boy."

"Keegan's going to get his boy!!"

"Yep, finally. He's so excited."

"So am I!"

Shay POV:

Troian just told me that she's having twins and one of them is a boy and literally all aim thinking is how happy Dylan would be to babysit a boy. But I'm not telling anyone about Dylan yet. Dylan is my secret, my favorite person that no one has to know about, at least not for a while.

Troian POV/ 3 months later:

I was feeding Sophia her lunch when I went into labor. I first called Shay, told her to come watch the kids and then I called Keegan and told him to come to the hospital, that I would be there waiting.

I had Daisy Mae Allen at 2:03 PM on July 3rd.

But the other baby wasn't coming out... the doctor did some test then came in.

"Mr Allen, Mrs Allen. I'm sorry to tell you this, but your son has passed."

My heart broke into a million pieces. I looked over at Keegan and his face was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. He sobbed, harder than when Sophia had a seizure and was in a coma.

I cried hard, too. Then I looked up.

"Why?" I asked the doctor.

"Too fragile, not enough strength to come out, and the water had already broken."

"So is Daisy okay?"

"She's tiny, but she'll live."

"What about...Troian? Is she healthy?" Keegan asks.

"Not really. Troian, you really shouldn't get pregnant again. It's going to take you a couple months of hospital care to get back to where I'm comfortable releasing you. You're very fragile also."

Keegan and I contain ourselves, and then we spend the rest of the night holding Daisy and discussing future plans. But in the back of our minds, the grief of the loss of our unborn child is still lingering.