《SOLO IO E TE.》Oh...No!...(Parte 14)
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Le settimane seguenti sono state normali, ho ripreso rapporti con tutti i professori, finalmente sto prendendo le redini in mano, sto rincorrendo i miei sogni, e ne vado fiera.
Oggi è domenica, perciò mi sono svegliata tardi, le 11.00 circa. . . quando apro gli occhi e mi siedo nel letto, la luce del sole mi acceca, chiudo le tende bianche di seta che scorrono nelle mie mani per ripiegarmi nel letto, quando mi giro nel letto con sorpresa, Sebastiano non c'è.
Decido di uscire dal letto, ma quando mi alzo una nausea improvvisa mi pervade salendo alla mia bocca, corro istintivamente in bagno, con le mani alla bocca, per trattenermi il più possibile, finché non arrivo al wc e rilascio pure l'anima, ripenso a cosa potrei aver mangiato, ma nulla che potrebbe farmi sospettare.
Mi alzo per avanzare in cucina quando incrocio Sebastiano, con la mia colazione in mano, la posa immediatamente e si precipita su di me, preoccupato.
> mi prende la mano e mi guarda dritto nei occhi, > mi sciacqua la bocca, e poi prendo delle pillole per la nausea, Sebastiano guarda ogni mio movimento immobile dove lo lasciato > mi blocco e lo guardo di traverso, poi, abbozzo un sorriso > gli do un tenero e delicato bacio sulla guancia e mi vesto.
Dopo essermi assicurata che il mio ragazzo si tranquillizzasse chiamo la mia famiglia per sapere come sta, parliamo per un oretta, poi papà dovette andare a lavoro quindi chiusi.
Nadia irrompe in camera mia > annuisco e le faccio segno di sedersi accanto a me > Si sfrega le mani sui jeans bianchi, > ci alziamo per prendere le borse.
In centro io e Nadia dopo severo compere di abiti ci sediamo in un bar per ordinare due caffè, mia cugina inizia a parlare:
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> borbotta > le domando
> la mia testa parte in mille lati, non presto più attenzione a Nadia, il mio sguardo è perso nel vuoto . . .
"IL CICLO"
> mi scuoto e torno sulla terra > il suo sguardo si incupisce > dopo qualche secondo di silenzio guardo Nadia > non riesco a capire se è una domanda o una affermazione, ma sono sconvolta > Nadia sobbalza, mi porto le mani alla faccia > mi guardo la panza immaginandola gigante, Nadia mi riprende:
>
Scuoto la testa > le mani mi tremano, > impreco, maledicendomi, ma una domanda mi sorge . . . Sebastiano come la prenderà?
Inizio a piangere dal nervoso, > poi c'è silenzio tra noi.
Nadia scatta in piedi, mette 2,50 sul tavolo e mi porge la mano > profondo ancora di più sulla sedia >. . .
Una parte di me non ne trova il coraggio per paura della risposta, ma ne ho davvero bisogno, non posso avere la sorpresa tra 3 mesi per rendermi conto che sono incinta, trovo la forza dentro di me, con grande fatica mi alzo dalla sedia, con mia cugina andiamo in una farmacia.
Stiamo sempre nei paraggi di qualche bar, nell'attesa . . . > con la coda dell'occhio guardo Nadia che esita a darmi risposta, sospiro frustrata più che mai, > malgrado ridiamo, dopo mi dirigo in un bar.
Finito, faccio cenno a Nadia di entrare nel bagno per aiutarmi a sostenere un futuro test positivo.
Aspettiamo qualche minuto . . .
"Cazzo" lo penso e subito dopo dico:
>
> Nadia si gira, io sconvolta guardo le due lineette, cosa succederà ora . . .
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