14: I Had A Headache For A Week

Marge examined Zola carefully as she reviewed the two-week travel itinerary for early spring shows. "Zola? Did I miss something? You look, unsure?"

"Oh, no Marge, this looks exceptional. Your work always does. Are you excited for the trip?"

"I am." Marge grinned. "It's a stressful trip but a nice break from the routine of Austin. William is happy to have 10 days to eat whatever he wants and leave the bed unmade."

Zola laughed. "I'm glad he's taking your absence in stride. I'm sure he'll be a little lost without you."

"Yes, he does need me, in more ways than one." Marge saw sorrow pass over Zola's face. The tone of Marge's voice softened. "Zola? Is there something I can help you with?"

"She's dating other people."

"Oh. And you're?"

Zola shrugged, unable to pull together a response.

"Is it serious? You and Ms. Sims?"

"No, it's easy, it's intense, it's intimate and real. But I wouldn't say 'serious.' Marge, I can't get her out of my head. She's got a date tomorrow night with a colleague and it's killing me." Zola grimaced, "You know how we are Marge, we are passionate and maybe ..."

Marge chuckled lightly, "Zealous? Headstrong? ? Did you tell her?"

", and ... no. She's kind of an 'in the moment' type of person. She gives herself over, completely, to our experience together, but I don't think she considers us much beyond that."

"Oh. That seems a little selfish."

". she's so kind and so compassionate. It doesn't make sense and it doesn't stop me from wanting her. I'll take every moment of her life she's willing to give me."

Zola sighed with confusion. "She has this Buddhist thing going and some things I understand perfectly. But other times I think I'm just too linear, and too Catholic. What if I never get it?"

"Zola, what is it that you want from her? What is it that you want from the relationship?"

"I don't know. She's so ." Zola drug her fingers through her hair, "I her. I want to go home tonight and have her there, . I want her to need me as much as I feel like I need her. Ugh, I can't help it. I feel like I'm insane!"

"So you are falling in love with her?"

"No, Marge, I think I'm in love. I have never in my life been so taken by someone, . Is that ? It's so soon, but I can't help it! I've tried to slow myself down." Tears stung Zola's eyes. "And Cora's there. Not in the same way that's to be expected." Marge nodded, listening intently.

"Honestly, I think she loves and cares for in her life. That's what she does, it's how she gives of herself. It's her . So at some base level, 'yes' she does 'love' me."

"But?"

"But romantically, she also seems so, .' So full of love unattainable at the same time." Zola shook her head in frustration and her mind ached from layered contemplation. "Am I crazy? I feel like I'm losing my mind." Zola shifted her eyes, looking directly into Marge's eyes. "Marge, what does this look like? From the outside?"

Marge half grimaced and half smiled. Hmmmmm, it looks headstrong, love-strong, and passionate. Zola, it looks and feels like it's complicated simple. So, it must be a little scary?" Zola nodded and sighed. "How long have you known this Ms. Sims? Perhaps a little perspective would be helpful right now. Tap the breaks?"

Zola grimaced. "Only about four weeks but we met two years ago in extraordinary circumstances. She helped me in a time of need."

"Oh, I see. So you have a connection with this woman?"

"Yes, I feel like we do. What should I do? I want to invite her to Rimini, but I'm afraid it might scare her away."

"You have some time. Why don't you try telling her in little, meaningful ways first?" Marge stood up to leave the office. She kissed Zola lightly on the top of her head. "Tonight, I'm going to take home a pizza and hold William a little longer."

"Wait! Marge, please. I think I need your help with something."

"Of course."

----

"So how are you feeling about Saturday night?" Erin's voice was light and her body language relaxed as she sat in the staff lounge with Cora.

"Good. It always seems like a long night, but we always raise a lot of money for the children's wing. The Four Seasons isn't a shabby venue either."

"No, Cora, I mean how do you feel about Saturday night ?"

Cora smiled. "The same, Erin. I feel good about spending time with you." Cora smirked, poking fun at Erin. "Why? Are you nervous?"

"Nice. Please, we both know that it's you who should be nervous!" The banter between two women felt familiar and comforting. "What are you going to wear?" Erin smiled at the thought of seeing Cora dressed formally.

"I'm not sure, probably 'LBD.' Nothing too over the top. You?"

"Oh, I'm dressing to impress. But it might not matter. Dr. Sarin apparently has a killer dress and shoes that will put us all to shame. She can't stop talking about the Dell Gala.I guess she was a show stopper."

"Yes, I'm sure she was. I was with her when she bought that dress." Cora smiled at the memory of the afternoon and imagined that Zola would be very happy that she was thinking of her while sitting with Erin.

Erin raised an eyebrow. "We could skip it? Head down to 6th Street? Honestly, I don't care what we do, as long as we're together."

"Oh no! Last time we did that I had a headache for a week! And you know if we skip, we'd never hear the end of it."

"That was not my fault, Cora, you over 'immersed!'" Erin rolled with laughter at the memory.

Cora smirked. "Very funny."

When Cora grinned, Erin found her eyes lingering and her laughter slowing. She stood. "I've got to get back to my little ones. I'll see you tomorrow night." Erin leaned down, kissing Cora on the cheek and whispering,"Thank you, Cora."

Cora watched Erin leave and found that she missed her more than she thought. It surprised her.

----

"Hi! as hard as i can 7p-7a"

"Sure! Love it! See you later"

"ill text"

Around 11:00 PM, Cora stood at the admissions desk, waiting patiently for Zola. When she walked in carrying a takeout bag, Cora's belly rumbled and her chest tightened with happiness.

", ! I brought sushi!" Zola was dressed in jeans, sneakers and what Cora thought was a very attractive Wake Forest sweatshirt. Her hair was tucked underneath a nondescript ball cap. No one would ever guess she was a fashion mogul.

Cora stepped to her, grinning with delight. She kissed her lightly on the lips, enjoying their soft texture. "Perfect! I'm starving."

Zola watched Cora lay out the spread on the table and begin the familiar process of eating. "It's quiet this time of night."

"Yes, most of the visitors to the hospital have left. That's a good thing; the patients can rest. The ER will probably pick up in a couple hours. Friday night fall out."

Zola flushed with embarrassment and unpleasant memories. "I understand completely. How was that for you? Our first meeting? There was vomit involved, so super special right?"

Cora rolled with laughter. "Well, when you work ER rounds, you get used to unusual smells."

"I'm glad there was vomit! I have this awesome sweatshirt now. Also, your laugh is the best thing ever." Zola popped a piece of sushi in her mouth and winked at Cora.

Cora shook her head with disbelief and attraction. "You are ."

"It's the sweatshirt. Eat. I want to watch you lose yourself in the food. I think it's ."

Between bites, Cora asked Zola about her work, "Have you been getting ready for your trip in March?"

"Every day, but I have been a little distracted."

"Oh? What's up?"

"Well," Zola hesitated, hoping she wouldn't come off as too creepy. "I 'Googled' you. In a manner of speaking."

"You what?" Cora grinned with curiosity.

"Well, I had my assistant Marge go down to UT's library and check out a copy of your master's thesis." Zola searched Cora's eyes. "Is that okay, ?"

Cora found herself completely on tilt. It wasn't often that people did that to her. "Zola? ?!"

"Soooo, not okay?"

"No. Of course, it's fine, great. I'm just really, surprised." The look on Cora's face gave way to a grateful smile. "That's wonderful." Cora laughed. "You might be the person to read that, including and my . Are you suffering from insomnia? What brought this about?"

"No, Cora! When I think about you I can't sleep. I want to know you. I hope that's okay. I thought this might be a good way to get some insight. You spent two years of your life working on this. It's an important part of who you are."

The words echoed in Cora's ears. "Wow. Zola, I think that's one of the kindest things anyone has ever said to me. So, what did you think?"

Zola laughed. "Well, I'm going to need a little more time. It took me 15 minutes to get through the title. I had to re-read it several times and Google helped with the big words."

"Oh yes, there's nothing academics like more than sounding smarter than they actually are. What was it? '? AKA Patterns of Changing Religious Views When Tragedies Happen.'"

Zola laughed. "Yeah! That's it!"

"Would you like me to give you the CliffsNotes version?"

"Absolutely not! I'll be spending this Saturday night reading and thinking of you. But, if I have questions, I might want to meet you for office hours."

"That sounds like something I'd be interested in."

"Now I might not try that hard to 'get it.'" Zola's eyes sparkled with life and Cora found it hard to return her focus to the food. "So, Cora, my turn next, right?"

"Oh, right!" Cora asked cautiously. "Absolutely, will I need my passport?"

"Nope. Nothing over the top. I thought I might show you our industrial space. So you can see what I do."

"I would love that! Poor Edra." Zola raised an eyebrow and tilted her head in confusion. "She's going to implode with jealousy." "Oh, well, why don't you bring Edra and Dr. Whipple along? I'd be happy to show them the process too."

"Really?"

"Sure. Why don't you check with them and let me know? Anytime next week."

"Thank you, Zola. They're going to love that."

Zola smiled. "Then I will too. Can I send Matthew to pick you up? Or would you rather all drive out separately? We're southeast of the city on Riverside. It's about 45-minutes with traffic."

"A ride would be great, then we could probably all leave from here."

"Great, just text me and we'll put it together."