I've haven't had a nightmare in so long yet having to wake up in the middle night with Kacy still asleep.

Trauma... it gets you at your worst. I could just feel all hands just touching at the slightest. Feeling the darkness around me and his low voice.

'It will be alright' the new voice in my head. Yet her voice was so much gentler although she went so much rougher.

The two of them wasn't even trying to stop. I couldn't see there face and yet I could sure feel the weight of his hands.

Anna sure made me felt safe. And felt like the sex was good yet I wanted the person that truly hates me right now.

"Peyton? Hey are you okay?" I heard as I woke up to someone shaking me awake. I saw Paxton sitting on the bed.

"Mom and Dad came home... I didn't know if you wanted to see them." She said and I nodded.

"You need Anna? I can call her." She said and I shook my head no.

"I kinda want mom..." I said and she was shocked but nodded.

"She's in her room." She said and I nodded.

I started to get up and realized my legs and arms were shaking. I know going to mom was an mistake cause she probably thinks I'm off on my own right now.

I got the courage to walk in her room when she saw me she just stared at me. My heartbeat was pounding out of my chest.

"Hi... mom." I said and she looked at me.

"What do you need?" she asked me dryly as I regretted everything.

"I- nevermind forget it." I said walking away when I felt her spoke up I stopped.

"Peyton." She said and I walked back. She stared at me for awhile before she shook her head.

"Sorry. Never mind." She said and I nodded.

"I love you... mom." I said but got no response back. Before I left her she spoke up again.

"I miss my little girl that I loved." And that broke me entirely.

I could feel the tears streaming down my face. I cleaned my emotions up and grabbed a bag.

I packed a book and a few other things I needed and I decided to go to Anna's.

"Hey heads up... I'm gonna go to Anna's house." I said and Paxton looked at me.

"She'll warm up to you eventually." She said and I sighed.

"Yeah that's not happening anytime soon." I said shutting her door.

I got in my car and it has been awhile since I've driven a car with my leg. I grabbed the shift stick and plugged the keys in I started the car.

I ran over to Anna's house where she was home alone. I dropped all of my stuff to see her in bed with a sports bra and some sweatpants.

"Anna?" I said and she groaned waking up.

"Oh my godddd! Peyton! You're here!!" She yelled and I knew something was off about her.

She had a slight red eyes. And she was acting more weirder.

"Anna are you high?" I said and she looked at me.

"Pfft! High! No." She said laughing.

"Anna you are high..." I said and she smiled.

"You look pretty. Very pretty." She said smiling.

She grabbed my hand pulling me making me hover over her.

"You have such pretty eyes." She said has I felt her thumb rubbing my cheek.

I smiled but it died when I realize she was tearing up.

"Anna? What's wrong?" I asked and she just broke down in front of me.

"I'm sorry." She sobbed.

"Hey what's wrong?" I asked her and she put her head on my chest.

"I-I didn't mean to. I swear I didn't mean too." She sobbed and I was so confused.

"Anna okay first breathe alright?" I said and I switched us positions where she was on top and I was on bottom.

She took a few deep breaths as she laid her head on my chest.

"Anna what is wrong?" I asked her and she was breathing heavily.

"I know... what I did that night. Kelly told me what was in that stupid pill and I know what I did wrong." I said and she took me right back to night.

"She said the pill was made with uncontrollable hormones. And nauseous. And in the morning I didn't know what happened." She said and her breathing was heaving.

"Anna..." I said but she shook her head.

"I'm sorry." She said repeating her words again over and over.

"Anna stop. It's okay. You're okay." I said and she nodding closing her eyes.

"Do you forgive me?" She asked me and I f thought about it.

"I dI forgive you. If you promise to never do it again." I said and she nodded.

"I promise. I promise I really do promise I just-" I cut her off.

"It's okay..." I said cupping her face.

"You're okay." I whispered putting her foreheads on mine.

She was straddling my lap and just hugged me. I could still hear her crying yet she was still high.

She calmed down fast and fell asleep on my body. What she said brought me back to that day. It wasn't her fault but it really scared me.

The aderall has always been my go to way of coping where everything was too hard. Take enough of it you can get high. I realize that was bad for you. Obviously Anna didn't know about it. No one did.