《chains | anidala》the weight of an embrace
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Under much different circumstances, Padmé would have given up anything to be able to live peacefully with Anakin. It was what she dreamed of, sharing a small apartment with the love of her life. She used to imagine not missing him, knowing that she'd have a lifetime of waking up next to him. That she didn't have to fear the jedi taking him away the next day.
Her hair began to spiral into it's natural curl as she took a cautious step out of the shower. Her feet were sore from the constant weight and pressure the baby put on her. She gripped the wall to prevent from slipping.
The cool air met her as she wrapped herself in a towel. Slowly, she dried off. There didn't seem to be a reason to rush on any action anymore. She had all the time in the world, considering she was locked inside of a one leveled house.
Her brown eyes met themselves in a stare through the glass of the mirror. She focused on her face, noting the dark skin that had formed under her eyes. She felt like the life had been drained out of her. The spark that once surrounded her only days ago had dissapeared.
Anakin seemed to take that from her, too.
He'd been in the bedroom for hours, laying on their bed. She was too angry, disgusted, and dissapointed to speak to him. Their last conversation, and only, had proven that she was quite upset with him.
She didn't know how to feel. She was overcome with such mixed emotions that it was difficult to depict just one from her mind. Padmé was still in shock.
Her hands trembled as she pulled her brunette strands behind her ears. What was she supposed to do next? She had a child on the way, but she wasn't allowed to leave the apartment. She had no supplies, no proper food... All things would have to be provided by Anakin.
How was she supposed to trust him? She wasn't sure she wanted him near the baby. For one, he killed younglings. Other people's prescious children. Second, he work hand and hand with the sith.
How would she have the baby? Would they have someone help deliver? How could she trust people of the dark side to deliver her child? What if they delivered the baby directly to Palpatine? What if they hurt them?
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She inhaled deeply for a few seconds before placing the towel gently on the counter top. Padmé removed the fresh set of clothes she had placed on a shelf and began to dress herself.
She wasn't unacquainted to dark colors, in fact she often wore them. However, the dark felt different now. She felt like a traitor. Her gut ate her alive as thoughts of what Palpatine did raced through the back of her mind. Was this his way of keeping power over her? Treating her like a mascot?
Drawing a nervous breath, Padmé's thin fingers brushed the knob of the door handle as she pulled it opened. Anakin's yellow eyes peered at her through the semi-dark room.
"Did you have the baby?" He asked dryly. "You've been in there for an eternity."
She scoffed at his boldness, "No, I did not."
He noded his head, leaning back in the bed to stare at the ceiling. His body was tense, she could tell from across the room. There was an obvious line drawn between his brows and his lips sat tight together.
"How is the baby?" He asked slowly. "How are you?"
Padmé's chest fluttered in confusion. She held her breath, strutting across the room to put her laundry away as she tried to distract herself.
"We're fine," She muttered. "As if you cared."
Anakin rose his body out of the bed, walking towards her. "You're being ridiculous. Of course I care."
"If you cared," She pointed out. "We wouldn't be here, now would we?"
"We're here because I care," He argued.
She shook her head, anger festered throughout her soul. It had only been a couple of hours with Anakin, yet she already craved the tranquility of her loneliness.
"You've lost your mind."
"I have?! You aren't able to reverse the narrow minded views the republic has shoved down your throat!"
Padmé's jaw hung low for a second, shocked at the words that had escaped his lips. "Excuse me?"
Anakin stood tall, crossing his arms with a smug look on his face.
"The republic is anything but narrow minded! It's a democracy voting and making decisions for the best of the people. I wouldn't be one to talk about views, Anakin," She replied quickly. "You're the one that decided to slaughter the Jedi because of your arrogance immaturity. All you had to do was be patient! But no! You're Anakin! Instead of wait a couple more months to become a Jedi, you destroy them all!"
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"I am the most powerful Jedi-"
"No one cares!" She shouted. "Not anymore. You're no longer a jedi, considering you lack any qualities of one."
"You're the most ungrateful person I've ever met!"
"There is absolutely nothing to be grateful for, Anakin. You've ruined our lives."
He unfolded his arms, raising his hands into the air. "Our lives were already ruined, Padmé! We missed out on our beautiful life together because the Jedi ripped me away. We didn't experience things together that will haunt me for the rest of my days! I missed the first six months of your pregnancy! I wasn't able to find out with you, experience the excitement, feel the baby kick for the first time, hear the heartbeat... All the things every father should be there for. I refuse to miss out on our life together again."
"I respect that," She hissed. "But I don't respect killing people because you're too selfish to come clean.
"You didn't-" Anakin cut himself off. He shook his head and let out a long breath. "Look, I'm not arguing with you anymore. Just stop, please just stop arguing with me. All we've ever wanted was a life together. Here it is. I'm here Padmé, there's no one stopping this anymore. It's just us."
"This is not how I wanted us," She whispered to him. Startled by his calming words over her, Padmé let her expression go back to it's anger. She raised her voice again, "I will not stop arguing! There will never be a day where I accept this life. Not peacefully, at least. I am not apart of the dark side. I will never go along with your deceitful fanatics. Your mind has been corrupted, but I will not let your path infect mine."
"All of this," He told her, keeping a steady tone to his voice. "I did for you. All I want is to keep you safe. This is the only way to keep you safe."
"And what will you do," She shot back. "When I don't die in childbirth?"
He was silent.
"That's what I thought."
A long period of silence stretched between the two. They let their eyes meet, pain erupting as they realized their once harmonic love had gone to flames. They had fallen apart.
"Are you tired?" Anakin finally asked her.
"Yes," She awkwardly told him. "But I would rather stay awake all night than sleep next to you."
Anakin walked across the room, pulling down the blanket on the right side of the bed. He waved her over, saying, "I'll sleep on the couch."
She didn't understand his behaviour. Anakin continuously switched his way of thinking.
Instead of debating within herself of what he thought, she followed him over and allowed him to assist getting her into the bed. Her swollen abdominal had prevented her from doing so on her own.
"Thank you."
No part of her being was thankful for Anakin at that moment. She wanted to escape his clutches, get away from the darkness that surrounded him.
He store at her longingly, a sad smile overcoming his face. Padmé was astonished that after all the pain he'd caused in the last few days, she felt her heart itch for him. She hated seeing him sad.
Finally, she let out the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding onto. "Come here," She whispered, outstretching her arms.
Softly, Anakin fell into them. He embraced her tightly, like he had so many times before in their past life. He clutched her body like a life source.
Padmé wrapped her arms around his waist as he caressed her face. There was nothing to be said, just the mutual agreement that they loved each other.
As Anakin rolled off of her, taking his usual position of spooning her in the bed, Padmé grinned.
Not because of her husband. No, his presence still disgusted her.
But because of the weight of the key that she'd stolen, now resting in her pocket.
-----
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