You sat on Donnie's bed with your elbows propped on your knees and your hands covering your face. The sounds of quiet breathing filled the room. You could hear the quiet and harsh whispers just outside of the room and you know. You know it's almost time for you to go. You've done everything you could and left a notebook full of everything the family needed to know of the whole situation.

You closed your hands into tight fists and you started to shake. It's only been almost a day and this was something you know you will never forget. You know it was your fault, you know you should have controlled your temper, your instincts, but it was almost impossible for you. Memories flashed and you started to sob. Glimpses of the incident played and you didn't try to stop it.

A day ago...

You sat in your partner's lab and listened to the sounds of machines and the muttering coming from him. The scribbles of a pencil to paper was also heard occasionally and a few curses here and there. You smiled despite being annoyed earlier from the argument you and Leo had. Donnie always had that effect on you. Every quirk of his always made you adore him more and they never fail to make you smile and while he does have his flaws you were annoyed about, you loved him. You always do.

While you couldn't see Donnie, you enjoyed listening to him. You always wore a blindfold and while others knew your brief history, you didn't really tell them the whole story. Being part of a dangerous pack of werewolves made you nervous to tell them. Your ancestors were ruthless and some even abused their abilities to create more werewolves. Rage was instinct in your family and when one of them is angered, humans have to run or to never look them in the eyes.

Over the years, humans called your family Ultima Werewolves. A type of werewolf species that are like purebloods in the Harry Potter books. They are the only ones to have a special ability that can bring anyone pain and change them. Or kill them. Stories of werewolves have been around for years but eventually, the stories became fiction.

You never did learn to control your ability only because your family encouraged you to let it consume you when it happens. Defying your instincts was almost like a taboo in your family. After losing your friends because of your anger, you tried so hard to numb yourself from your emotions. Your eyes were always a big problem and when you couldn't numb your emotions completely, you decided that it was better to cover your eyes. You've tried shades but while they were effective, especially the reflected ones, it can easily be taken off. You didn't want to permanently blind yourself by slicing them off so you used a blindfold. It was odd for others to see you like that and they stayed away from you at the most and you were fine with that.

That was until you met the turtles. You really did try to avoid them as much as possible but they were always around. Going to the same school as April O'Neil did not help at all. You were, in a way, a vigilante at night. Stumbling across the turtles became a common occurrence, they did think you were the enemy until you fought off some of your brothers and sisters going around New York to wreak havoc. You couldn't see the turtles but your other senses gave you the general idea of what they are. The big one, you had learned was Raph, offered to be allies and you accepted.

Mikey was the first one to really get to know you and you enjoyed having him around. You guys grew close over the few months and he knew more about you than the other brothers. You were resourceful and encouraged him to keep learning, to be curious about everything. You helped get him supplies he needs and he appreciates the support and love you give him. He knows it was hard for you to show emotions but your actions always screamed you cared. He shows you he loves you the way he always does and you slowly start to open up to him. He was teaching you that it was okay to show emotions. He was your best friend.

Leo used his flirting skills (which was bad) to try and woo you. You always deflected the comments but you both learned to just playfully flirt since he got the message that you were not interested in dating. He was fine with that and you knew the flirting and questions were just to see if you were trustworthy. You hint about your past to him and always showed that you can be trusted and he in return did too. He was like an annoying brother to you but you were fine with it.

Raph almost quickly trusted you until he realized the events with Big Mama and really tried so hard to be cautious with you. You understood and showed him you were trustworthy over your actions. Once he did trust you, he asks for advice from you to be a better leader. You try to help him the best way you can and you even let him pet you on occasion.

Donnie was a bit difficult to communicate with and it took you a while to actually have a long conversation with him. When it happened, you actually impressed him with how smart and resourceful you were. You had actually built your armor and created an AI to help you. You had given him advice after the incident with the first Sheldon and helped him with the designs.

Working and talking with Donnie brought you both closer than ever and eventually grew to love. It took a while for you both to admit your feelings but you both did and now you helped each other whenever you can. You both had to learn to be vulnerable with each other but you eventually got there and out of everyone, he knows more about your past. He knows about your ability and has been trying to find ways for you to be able to control it and you help when you can.

You got up from your seat and walked over to your boyfriend and kiss him on the cheek. You muttered you were going to get pizza and left. You went to the kitchen and grabbed two large slices of pizza when you felt your (F/C) blindfold fall off. You panicked, dropping the plates to the counter, you covered your eyes. The sound of laughter from Leo made you angry. You had told him that it was far too dangerous for you to take off the piece of clothing just about an hour ago actually. You turn around, the fur on your tail and ears standing on edge and your ears were pulled back and your teeth were bared.

"Leo, you son of a-, give it back!" You demanded, trying to get the blindfold from him but he evaded.

"Come on, (N/N). Why is it so bad to see your eyes? Is there a secret we don't know about?" He chuckled but you knew. He was trying to find out why you never told them about your eyes. You knew he didn't fully trust you but to go this low just to find out? Anger bubbled inside you and you started to panic. Not again!

"Leo, there is a reason why I never take it off. Please let me have it." He ran out of the kitchen and your anger rose higher. You growled and sprinted to the sounds of his footsteps. You entered the middle of the lair and continued to chase the laughing Leo. You heard the skateboard and you knew he was at the ramp. You pulled your hand down and kept your eyes closed while you tackled the red-eared slider to the ground. Both of you wrestled and just as it was in your grasp, you heard the loud tear.

You pushed yourself off of him and clutched the ripped piece of fabric. You tried to contain your anger but you needed to leave. As you walked away with eyes watching you, your self-control snapped.

"Why are you so ashamed of your eyes? It's not like there is anything interesting." You froze and just before anyone could say anything else, you turned around. What everyone saw made them stop and look at you in shock. Your eyes, your eyes were a blood red and it was full of rage. Your eyes were the same as those werewolves roaming the city. You were one of them?

Leo paled at the realization. You let out an animalistic growl and ran at a surprising speed and attacked him. The brothers sprung to action and tried to fight you off. Their weapons were left in their rooms and you quickly overpowered them with your strength and agility. You had knocked Mikey out by throwing him to the wall, leaving a crack. Raph tried to take you down but you were swift and also threw him, knocking him out.

Leo had quickly grabbed his sword and fought you. He was having a hard time because your fighting style was so different from before. You fought with grace and precision but whatever you were now? It was all animal, all instinct. You fought blindly and for the first time, Leo could see the wolf. With a shout, you bit his arm leaving him screaming at the sudden and excruciating pain. You took it to your advantage and threw him.

You stood there, panting heavily until you realized that you forgot one more. You turn to see him there, cautiously walking to you with his bo staff in front of him. He looked at you closely and it felt like he was analyzing you. You growled in warning. He stopped and slowly placed his staff on the ground before walking to you again.

"(Y/N), my lady, this is not you. You know this isn't what you want." You crouched down and continued to growl. "The woman I know would never want to bring this upon anyone. The woman I love shows patience and kindness to everyone around her. I know it's hard, but please. Please let me see you."

You went quiet and it caused him to walk faster. He stood in front of you and called out your name, softly. He crouched down and asked for you to look at him. You slowly shook your head but he continued to coax you. He told you he wasn't afraid but you really tried to be persistent but you were so tired. Your instincts were telling you to take him, to change him but you didn't want that.

"Donnie, get away from her!" He stood up and you grinned. You took his distraction to your advantage and slashed his leg. Donnie gasped and looked at you in the eyes. He felt the searing pain and he groaned in pain as he collapses to the ground. He still looked at you in the eyes but it wasn't like you were looking away. You looked at him sadistically before eventually, you came to your senses.

Realizing he was laying there, looking at you, you averted your eyes. You felt a sob build up and you let out a whimper, crawling to his body before you were suddenly smacked on the abdomen by a tail. You skidded on the floor and you let out a groan. You propped your arms up but kept your head facing the floor. You looked at the corner of your eyes and realize Splinter stood there in a defensive position with an angry look on his face.

"You have done enough damage to him." You were breathing heavily and your body slumped in defeat. But Donnie was bleeding far too much from the wound.

"Let me help him." Your voice cracked as you spoke. Splinter narrowed his eyes at you and scowled. "The leg wound is deep and if I don't stitch that up soon, the scarring will be worse and there's probably damage there that needs careful handling."

"Why should I trust you? You attacked him." You flinched and your ears were pressed to your scalp.

"None of you guys know how to fix that kind of wound. Watch me all you want as I fix it up a-and I'll leave, permanently. Just let me help." Drops of tears fell to the floor but you ignored it.

"You fix it and you will leave." You got up and ran to Donnie's side. You place a hand over his wound and you hear him give a shout of pain. You bit your tongue, continuing to examine the wound.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Your voice shook as you said it, watching his eyes blink open and close. He lifted a hand but you shook your head. You needed to focus. You needed to help him.

You carried him to his room with Splinter watching you very closely as he tries to get the others. When you found the kit full of supplies, you put your training to use. You were thankful that you trained yourself to fix deep wounds like these with the help of Donnie. Your hands shook far too much and it was a struggle to use the needle but you persisted and tried to clean the wound as much as you can before closing it.

Donnie groaned in pain and you were worried the transformation was already taking place. You didn't want this for him, you never did. You watched him closely as you continued with your work and you could still feel the stare from Splinter. You were finishing up when you heard the other turtles talking. You held your boyfriend's hand tightly and placed a kiss on it.

It was almost time for you to go. You stood up and looked for a notebook and something to write with. Once you find an empty notebook and pen, you frantically wrote everything the family needed to know about your ability, the transformation, and everything about werewolves to help him.

The shouting had quieted down to harsh whispers and you were already finish writing. You placed the notebook beside the soft-shelled turtle and sat there with your hands covering your face. You let out a sob and just let the memory go through again.

It's been a few hours and it was quiet. You were certain that it was officially over a day now and you think the others were asleep. That was until the curtain was pulled open. Your eyes twitched but you didn't look up. You were not going to give others the same pain Donnie is and will go through.

"He's fine now, stable. There's a notebook of everything you need to know." You stated quietly.

"Is one of them about your secret?" You could hear the anger in Raph's voice as he growled out the question.

"Yes."

"Good. I think you're done here." You nodded, getting up, and walking out. He called out your name and you look at him with the corner of your eye. "If you ever come near my family, don't expect a friendly welcome from me."

You didn't say anything and left.

"Where is (Y/N)?" Donnie asked after his brothers helped him sit up. They were all talking about how worried they were for him and while that was expected from them, the turtle just wanted to know where his girlfriend was. The boys looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Leo looked away with a saddened and guilty expression but didn't say anything. Raph sighed when Mikey also looked away.

"She's gone, gone for good," Raph answered while he crossed his arms in front of his chest.

"What?" Donnie hissed out. "You let her leave?"

"It was safer for all of us if she was gone from our lives. She could have killed you."

"But she didn't, did she?" Raph gave his brother a confuse and annoyed look.

"She hurt you, Donnie."

"And I am fine! We need to find her and bring her back." Leo pushed his brother back down and kept his hands on his shoulders.

"She lost control and knocked all of us down in a heartbeat." Leo tried to reason. Donnie glared at him and slapped his hands away.

"Who's fault was that?" Leo looked away, again. "She was going easy on us."

"What do you mean? She seemed really strong already." Mikey asked, confused.

"Those were warnings. If anything, she could have torn off our shells very easily without blinking." The brothers flinched at the thought. "She also made sure that you guys never looked at her in the eyes. If you had, you would have been down on the ground in pain."

"What is so important about her eyes? It's just red." Raph wondered. The purple masked ninja rolled his eyes.

"That is not her normal eye color, she doesn't even remember what color they were. The red eyes show up when she's using her ability. Anyone who looks in the eyes of an Ultima Werewolf, they go through a lot of pain and either change into a werewolf or die." Donnie informed, looking at each brother. There was a pregnant pause as they mull over the new information.

"We're not looking for her," Raph spoke sternly.

"Did you not just hear what I just said?" Donnie clenched his hands into fists, looking at the snapping turtle with fury in his eyes.

"I did hear you but it's not safe for her to be our friend anymore. For all we know, she probably works for those other werewolves." They gave each other a heated glare and the other two stood there awkwardly. What could they say? They didn't know much about you like they thought they did. You've been keeping this secret for so long there could be others they didn't know that they should.

"I'm the leader and what I say goes." Donnie let out a frustrated growl before quieting down. He looked at the floor with his fists still clenched. He didn't blame you, he knows that you would never do it on purpose but how could he make his brothers see that without breaking your trust? He told you that he will keep your history quiet until you were ready to tell them. If he tells them, he feels like it would ruin that trust you had for him.

"May I please be alone?" The other brothers looked at each other worriedly before they walked out. When he heard the curtain slide close, he bent down and placed his hands on his face. He let out a shaky sigh and just let the tears fall.

What was he going to do?