When somebody you love dies- the heart can't comprehend the loss. The pain is unbearable but grief is a healing process. There are five stages to finally accept the loss of a loved one and move on with your life.

But most people are stuck on the first four.

-Kiera Wise

Stage One: Denial

It was hard for everyone to leave the Volturi castle. Sam suggested taking Nicky's body back to Washington for a proper burial. A silent agreement washed through everyone.

Carlisle grouped together the Cullen's leaving the pack alone with the body, for some time to be alone.

Pieces of blood, limbs and clothes were strewn across the floor. They all belonged to Alec. On the way out Edward, respectfully collected what was left of the vampire: Ready to burn to ashes.

Paul sat there- numb. With Nicky's lifeless body in his hands. Even when her body naturally transformed back to human he didn't move.

His heart sank. His brain turned to goo, his arms and legs felt heavy. He was a mess.

Quil walked over, his eyes full of unshed tears, his cheeks red and pale at the same time. He felt missing, like a part of his heart died along with Nicky. She wasn't blood-related, she wasn't even known for very long. Two weeks tops. But that doesn't mean she wasn't family. She was an imprint- automatically apart of the pack. Automatically someone they would all risk their lives to defend.

And they failed.

He was so caught up in emotions that for a second he imagined it was Claire, lying still on the floor. Quil couldn't imagine his Claire dying. He would kill himself- without shame, to join her in the afterlife, or just to rid the pain. He couldn't decide.

No one imaged what Paul was feeling. The way his eyes clouded over or the way his fingers trembled. Nothing could bring back Nicky.

This wasn't a fairty tale where one kiss would wake the beautiful princess. Or if he proclaimed his love to her she would magically open her eyes and return the words.

Fairy tales end happily- not tragically.

This was not Paul's fairy tale he dreamed of.

Seth's eyes poured like a fountain, tears rolling down his cheek as he sobbed hard. Sobbing for the loss of a friend. Someone who didn't judge. Someone who didn't isolate the group in the schoolyard. Not like the other kids do. He hasn't made a new friend in a year. Nicky was the first one.

Embry stood there, confused. His emotions running through his head like a gushing river.

He couldn't move- he was almost as still as Paul.

No one understood. This isn't how she was meant to die. She was meant to die at an old age- after living her life to the fullest- with Paul by her side.

Not now.

Sam had to leave, he left with Jared, Embry, Collin and Seth. They would meet up with the Cullens and try to gather their emotions while they were at it.

The atmosphere was haunting.

"Paul?" Leah asked quietly. She patted him on the shoulder, probably the first time she touched him so gently. He shook his head slowly- no emotion on his face as he said a couple words that made Leah close her eyes tight and wish everything had been a dream.

"She can't be," He mumbled looking down at his soulmate. He looked at her, how her eyes were firmly closed, her chest not moving with every breath. She was so cold, the water on her body evaporating by his heat.

"Paul, let her go," Leah said calmly. Leah knew it would kill him to let her go now, but she couldn't deal with the pain of knowing she let him wallow in his misery by carrying her corpse.

Corpse.

That word made Leah shudder.

Nicky was a... corpse. A dead body that Nicky once controlled. Nicky wasn't with them anymore. She's passed on.

"No!" Paul yelled at her making her flinch. He held on tighter to Nicky pushing himself closer to her if that was even possible, holding her to his chest as if she would revive.

"She's. Not. Dead." He growled. Rocking slowly, side to side.

Brady and Quil shared a look. Nobody wanted to be the cruel person to tell him that he was wrong.

It hurt them all how he was acting. Acting as if she was alive, cooing to her and whispering loving things in her ear as if she was asleep.

Stage Two: Anger

Arriving back to their hometown was probably the saddest thing they have ever done.

Paul refused to let go of Nicky, resulting in Emmett and Sam physically removing the body from his arms. Through the plane ride Paul sat alone, murmuring like a crazy man how everything was going to be alright. How Nicky was back home waiting for him, with her arms open anticipating a loving embrace.

Jasper's couldn't do it. He couldn't. He refused to get ont the plane with all the emotions running through everyone.

He felt his own emotions taking hold- he didn't need everyone elses. He resulted in waiting another three hours for the next plane to Seattle.

Sam was freaking out- he was trying to hold himself together but how does someone leave the country for someone... and come back with their body.

Telling everyone would be torture.

Sam Uley stood with Carlisle Cullen on the wooden porch of the Summer's household two days later. They couldn't do it alone. They couldn't do it with Paul either. He was at Emily's, all the imprints and the pack were soothing him. He finally snapped out of his numb/denial state and took it out on Jared. His anger was frightening to watch, especially when Kim and Emily carrying Claire came back home with happy smiles on their face.

"So where is she?" Emily had asked. It earned a solid punch in the nose to Jared from Paul. Snapping the bone and disforming it- making his nose bleed.

"What happened?" Kim asked hearing the bare fists coming from the outside. Another fist pounded on Jared, except it wasn't in the face. Paul punched furiously and repeatedly in Jared's stomach- angling his arm so he punched up towards the lung.

The other pack members trying to pull his arms away was no use unless them themselves wanted to be the target of Paul's attack. Paul showed no mercy as he beat up his best friend.

"Why's ever-one sa sad?" Claire asked reaching out to Quil who took her suddenly, craddling her face in the crook of his neck.

Another blow to the stomach for Jared. He passed out instantly landing with a hard smack sound when his head hit the forest floor.

Kim's screaming echoed through Sam's mind when the door swung open revealing a smaller version of Nicky.

His heart clentched as he looked at Carly Summers- her little sister.

"Can I help you?" She asked looking Sam up and down. For a second she thought he was Jared or Paul- they looked so alike to her.

"Yes, is your mother home?" Carlisle asked politely. No hint of sadness in his tone. Carly looked at Carlisle suspisciously for a second, pale skin, unbelieable beauty... no read eyes. She shook her head erasing her thoughts.

"Mum!" She called out behind her. For the past week Carly and her mother haven't been their happy usual selves. They still went to school and work but it didn't feel right. Not without Nicky around.

"Yes... Carlisle?" Mary said fixing her earrings as she walked down the hall in her work uniform: Purple scrubs.

"This is Sam Uley, Sam this is Mary Summers and Carly Summers," Carlisle introduced.

This would normally be the time were the policeman would take off their hat.

"Hi Sam, can I help you with anything?" Mary asked wearily.

"Actually, could we come in?" Carlisle asked gently.

Carly looked up at Carlisle and Sam frantically, opening the door wider as they passed her to go in.

Stage Three: Bargaining/Guilt

"WHY HER!" Paul screamed looking up at his ceiling, "TAKE ME INSTEAD!" He screamed as his eyes became blurry. He put his hands behind his after kicking his desk chair violently to the wall.

"WHAT CAN I DO!" He screamed furiously, not noticing his little sister, Mandy hold the doorframe of his room with red puffy eyes looking more scared then ever.

"Paul?" She asked bravely. He snarled, puching another hole in the wall. His punch made a satisfying crack as the plaster came crumbling down onto the floor.

"LEAVE. ME. ALONE!" He shouted through clentched teeth.

"No," She said holding her own, she learnt this from Paul- never show a bully your afraid, "I won't I'm staying here!" She said firmly with a stubborn stomp of her foot.

"What can I give you to go away, huh? Want me to give you my life? 'CAUSE NOW THAT NICKY'S NOT HERE I DON'T NEED IT!" He shouted the last bit furiously making his 8 year old sister flinch.

She ran off down the hall without another word as Paul started his rampage.

"Paul Walker you leave your sister alone!" Paul's mother bellowed. Footsteps marched through the house as Miss Walker stopped at the threshold of Paul's room.

"I understand you need to mourn but you will not, and I repeat you will not speak to Mandy like that, do you understand?" Miss Walker crossed her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes at Paul.

He took no notice and slumped on the bed.

She could hear him crying, whiping his traitor tears away frantically.

Miss Walker couldn't stand the sight of her son in so much pain. She walked over to him wrapping her arms around him. He shrugged her off but she was persistant and cuddled him closer.

"Ma... why'd she have to die?" He asked so weakly. She'd never seen her son so sad... so broken in her entire life. It shattered her heart.

The story around town was that she was in a car accident. It angered Paul because she didn't deserve all the selfish rumours going around that she was drink driving. She wasn't the cause of her death.

"It's apart of life," She whispered, trying to hold back her own tears.

"I didn't even get to tell her I love her," He realised, rubbing his eyes to hide the tears that were threatening to fall.

"It's okay to cry," Paul's mother soothed, rubbing his back they way she used to do when he was younger, "It's not okay to bottle your feelings up and pretend you feel something you don't,"

Paul closed his eyes tight, feeling the liquid pour down his cheek. His chest heaved as he weeped, he pulled his mother in close for reassurance.

It was true- he never told her he loved her. He didn't make it obvious. He just forced himself on her- forced her to try and love him. He was such a coward. He couldn't even say those three little words. Now he'll never get the chance.

He wasn't ok. He could pretend to be- but he would just be lying to himself.

"Quil Ateara?" The teacher called on the roll.

"Here," He said simply looking at the spare seat next to him.

Him and a couple of the guys (minus Paul) were back at school after their 'long service leave' since their parents agreed that they shouldn't miss out on anymore school.

Looking down at the chair he realised how empty it was... like really different. It was polished and cleaned since he last saw it. The scratches on the desk that Nicky made were painted over, the faint lines of a small heart she graved into could just be seen if you looked hard enough on the desk top.

"Julian Roasten?" Mr Lyther called in his boring monotone voice.

"Here!" He called out from the back of the classroom.

"Nicole Summers?" He asked.

The class became silent.

"Miss Summers?" He asked again. Looking up from his reading glasses. He took in the silence off the class and was about to cross her name off as 'absent.'

The back of Quil's eyes prickled.

"She's... she ah, died," Michelle Jameson said, her voice breaking. Quil wasn't sure if Nicky was friends with her or not, but it was the biggest gossip around school since Sam Uley left Leah Clearwater, that's for sure.

"Oh, bless her heart, they haven't changed the roll yet. I apoligize. Ronnie Stevens?" He called, continuing the roll as if it didn't matter.

Maybe they shouldn't have gone to school- it would be best to stay home like Paul. Mourning for the loss instead of trying to deal with it.

Time.

It's what would cure the grief, but it wouldn't fade the memories Nicky left behind... the people she left behind.

Stage Four: Depression

Dressing Nicky in a yellow, long summer dress that will never be seen after today made tears come to Emily and Kim's eyes.

Kim sighed, trying to hold back tears so she wouldn't reck the pretty dress.

The Summer family couldn't do it. They couldn't dress the beloved Nicky into the last outfit anyone would see her in. It was too painful.

Emily Uley and Kim Connweller volunteered. Nicky wasn't that close with Emily- but now Emily couldn't change that. All the 'ifs' and 'buts' haunted through Emily's mind.

Kim on the other hand- she was close with with Nicky, it was terrifying to think that the girl lying infront of them, in an open coffin while she put red lipstick on her lips, had finished life.

More tears strolled down the girls' face.

Emily cried harder thinking about the deal she overheard Sam and Paul make the night before.

Emily was lying in bed- waiting for Sam for she couldn't sleep without him.

Out in the kitchen, through the thin walls, she heard two people whispering through the quiet night.

"Please Sam! Take back the order. I just can't do it anymore..." The voice of Paul breaking down crushed Emily. She put a hand over her mouth.

"The order was for your own safety. I will not let you kill yourself! Think about your family, your friends... your pack." Sam demanded. Emily could hear the slight pain in his voice though.

"They'll understand!" Paul snarled.

"It's selfish, Paul. I am not saying goodbye to you tomorrow aswell!"

She couldn't even fathom the misery in that conversation.

"Nicky was..." Carly cried, wiping away fresh tears, "Nicky wasn't only my sister- but my best friend. We did everything together... she-she... she taught me things, like how to read... and-and I never got to tell her how t-thankful I am for her... I- Nicky- I'll miss y-you!" Carly finished quickly. She wiped her never-ending tears, walking slowly down the isle back to her seat next to her sobbing mother.

The graveyard was packed with atleast sixty people, friends-family and everyone in between coming to say goodbye to the girl that was treasured in everyone's hearts.

Paul watched, kneeling in the grass as the stormy clouds dropped a few tears on them all- like the heavens mourned for funeral taking place just beneath. He watched as the coffin slowly lowered into the grave. Watched as dirt was thrown carefully into the dug-out rectangle that held his dead soulmate.

The girl that was supposed to love him.

The girl that was supposed to marry him.

The girl that was supposed to have his children.

The girl he was meant to grow up with. Die with.

He felt numb, depressed. Not even death could take away the pain. It's almost impossible to kill a shape-shifter. Especially since they have incredible healing.

As the dirt overflew the coffin and it was pattered out, flowers covering the tombstone. He looked at the stone, emotionless, was his face.

~1995-2011~

Here lies Nicole Summers

Beloved daughter, sister and friend.

You will be missed.

What's left of him was a shell of his former self. All of his emotions flooded out of him. His energy was gone, dispeared into the ground where his love is now buried.

There was no Stage Five in Paul's process. Stage Five was acceptance. He just couldn't accept the reality off his loss.

It's funny how one person can affect so many people.