The phone rang three times. Just as the voicemail was about to pick up, he answered. “Hello?"

"Kai, hi. It's me. What are you doing?"

“HeIping my dad put this entertainment center together. You’d think a couple of smart guys like us could fit screw A into hole A, wouldn’t you? This is the third time we’ve had to take the damn thing apart and start over."

Good, he sounded normal, happy. "I need to see you," I told him. “Sometime today."

“How ʼbout now?”

“Now?" My heart raced. Was I ready now?

“Any excuse to bail on this thing," he said. “You want me to come over?"

“No. I'll pick you up. Ten minutes." We disconnected. Upstairs, I snitched an English muffin off the breakfast table, shoved it in my mouth, and wriggled into my hooded sweatshirt. “Be back in a few," I garbled.

“What?” Mom frowned up from her reading. “Oh, Jennie. Did you look at this catalog from Chungnam? The campus is gorgeous. We should’ve applied there. They have a pre-law program. Of course, Yonsei’s school is more elite, and that’d be perfect if –"

“Not now, Mom,” I said, removing the muffin from my mouth. "I have to go to Kai's."

She sighed wearily. “Ask him about Yonsei. And don’t be gone all day. I miss you, and I want you to help me paint this stenciling on Ella’s wall."

Neal peered over the Sunday funnies and winked at me. I winked back. "Morning, Hwa," I called into the living room, where she was sprawled on the sofa watching a Buffy rerun. She might’ve grumped a reply. “Hey, Ellie." I kissed her baby cheek, then snitched another muffin and headed out.

My Jeep seemed to slow automatically as it approached Kai's house. He was sitting on the stoop, petting his cat, Toby. Two-ton Toby. A stray that Kai had rescued from a Dumpster when he was a kid. So like Kai. When he saw me swerve into the driveway, he lugged Toby inside and sprinted across the yard.

I resolved to make this quick. “Where are we going?" Kai asked, leaning across the front seat to kiss me. I twisted to check out traffic, his lips grazing my cheek.

"For a drive,” I answered. Where were we going? To the ridgeback where we went four-wheeling last summer? No, God, no. None of our old haunts. In my side view mirror Craned Park behind his house materialized and I pulled into the parking cove. Kai rested his arm across my shoulders. "What’s up?"

I opened my door. “Let’s take a walk."

He unfolded his legs and clambered out. Sidling up beside me, he took my hand and squeezed. I squeezed back. At the barbecue pits, I stopped and lowered myself to a picnic bench. Kai sprawled out beside me. A couple of kids were playing on the swings, their mother or grandmother reading a paperback nearby.

There was no easy way to do this. I reached into my sweatshirt pocket, felt around for the cold metal and fisted it. Reached over, opened Kai's hand, and folded the class ring into his palm. "I think we should see other people,” I told him. So lame.

He spread his fingers apart and stared at the ring. Just stared. Shell-shocked. Then his jaw muscles clenched and, blinking at me, he said, “What brought this on?"

“I…” I gulped. “I have feelings for someone else. It wouldn't be fair to you –"

“Who?" he barked.

It made me jump. “You wouldn’t know h — nobody you know." My mouth was dry as dirt. “Kai," I twisted to face him, "This doesn't have anything to do with you. I love you. You know that. I want us to stay friends. You're one of the best friends I’ve ever had.” Which was true. It’d never been the sex that kept us togather. At least, not for me.

"Friends," he said. His head began to bob. “Friends.” He stood abruptly. His arm flew out to his side and the ring sailed across the playground. "Fuck you, Jennie."

I reeled, not from the words themselves, but the force. The venom in his voice. Frantically, the grandmother collected her things and hustled her troops together.

“Kai, please..."

He clamped his hands over my shoulders, hard. Bending me backward into the table, he said directly in my face, “Fuck. You."

My heart stopped beating.

He straightened and his eyes welled with tears.

"Kai. No."

He stormed off, spewing gravel in his wake. His fist scraped away a tear on his cheek.

"Oh, God." My head fell into my hands. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

***

Rosie was still in bed when I arrived. Her father bellowed up the stairs, “Rosie!" then turned to me and said, "It takes divine intervention to get her up before noon.” When there was no apparent acknowledgment that she’d heard, he cupped his hands and hollered, “Roséanne!"

A door opened.“What?"

“You have a visitor."

She peered down the stairwell. Our eyes met and her face lit up. “Hang on,” she said.

She didn’t have to worry, I wasn’t going anywhere.

A few seconds later, dressed in baggy jeans and a baseball jersey, she charged down the stairs. Grabbing me in a fierce embrace, she breathed, "Oh, my God. I thought it was a dream. It's real, isn’t it? Tell me it’s real."

“lt's real," I said, smiling. Feeling relieved.

She stepped away; studied my face. “What’s wrong? What happened?"

The lump was still Iodged in my throat, but I managed to croak, “I broke up with Kai."

Her eyes closed. She opened them and peered into mine. Questioning. “Are you sorry?"

“No. It just didnʼt go well.” My vision blurred.

Glancing over her shoulder at her father and little brother, who were gawking at us from the living room sofa, Rosie took my hand and led me out to the sun porch.

We sat together on the slatted swing, her arm around me. "Did you tell him about us?" she asked.

I dug in my pocket for a Kleenex, shaking my head. "I couldn’t. I’m sorry."

Rosie clapped a hand to her chest. "Thank God."

I blew my nose and frowned at her.

"I mean… well, never mind. I’m just glad you’re here.” She drew me close and kissed me. Made the heat spread through my body. A welcome affirmation that I’d done the right thing.

Conversation was forgotten for a while. It felt so right being here with Rosie. I’d fought it so long and craved it so hard. I wanted to know everything about her, explore her, get inside her head. Strange. It felt as if I'd known her forever, yet at the same time, knew her not at all. And the adventure of finding her out excited me, like nothing and no one ever had done before.

Rosie pulled away from me and stuck out her tongue. Not at me, at the window behind us. I twisted around to see Eric smooching the glass. It made me laugh. It made Rosie scoot down the swing away from me. "What?” I said.

She gazed over my shoulder, eyes narrowed. "Mom doesn’t want Eric to witness my perversion. He might get the idea that two girls kissing is natural or something?" She stretched out lengthwise, her head on the armrest, legs steepled over my thighs. I wrapped my arms around her knees and rested my cheek on them, watching her. Soaking her up.

Still glaring at the window, she added, "At least we don’t have a double standard, which really pisses Alice off."

“What do you mean?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "I told Mom and Dad if I can’t be myself around here with my girlfriends, then Alice shouldnʼt be allowed to either. Dad said I was right.” She grinned.

I smiled. “You are so amazing." I wondered how many girlfriends she was talking about. "When did you know, Rosie?" I asked.

“About you?”

It wasn’t my question, but the answer intrigued me. I nodded.

“The first time I saw you at your locker," she answered. “January second. Six fifty-three A.M."

"No way." I wrinkled my nose.

She laughed. “Girl, you set off my gaydar like sirens."

“No way,” I said again.

She smiled. "You did. And my gaydar never lies. Although later, I thought you might be bi."

No, I wasn't bi. I was sure of that now. The depth of desire – it was unbelievable. That, and the certainty of this being right. Being me. How could she know before I did, though? "How could you know before me?"

She laughed again. "I didn't. You knew."

She was right. I knew. I just never met the person who'd light my torch and lead the way. “Why did you wait so long?" I asked her. “Why didn't you just, you know, put the moves on me?"

Her face grew serious. “I wasn't reaity sure what was going on with you. I mean, you gave out mixed signals. Then it dawned on me, duh. You hadn't come out to yourseII yet. I thought I’d Iet you decide how you wanted to handle it. You needed to be sure. You needed to make the first move. And girl," she flopped an arm across her eyes, “you were killing me."

I smiled. “What if I’d never made the first move?"

She peeked under her forearm. “I was prepared to get a sex change operation."

I smacked her shins and we both cracked up. The front door whooshed open and Claire popped her head out. “HeIIo, Jennie," she said.

“Hi, Mrs. Park." I sat up straighter, giving Rosie back her legs.

"Rosie, you know the rules," she said.

“Mother," Rosie clucked in disgust, “for God's sake, we're only talking. We're fully clothed. You can see our hands. Show her, Jennie." Rosie held hers out for inspection. I sort to wrapped mine around myself.

Rosie’s rnom nailed her with a look before popping back inside.

“Youʼre bad,” I said.

"Well,” Rosie scowled, “she embarrasses me."

“Let me guess. Slumber parties are taboo at the Park house?”

A slow smile spread across Rosie’s face. "Ah," her head lolled back, “those were the days.’

I tickled her into submission.

We talked and played until we were both loony. I hadn’t felt this giddy since I was a kid at Christmas. Rosie was a joy to be with. So fun. A blast. It was hard to leave her, but I had to. Mom might call over to Kai’s, which could initiate a confrontation I wasn’t ready to deal with yet. This was all too new, too intoxicating.

"I’ll call you tonight,” Rosie said, the tips of her fingers curling over the Jeep’s window as I rolled it down. I traced every ring on both her hands. We kissed good-bye and couldn't stop; didn’t want to, until finally, finally I screamed, “Enough!"

It would never be enough. I cranked up the window. As our hands pressed together against the glass, I started the ignition. Started my life over again.