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After Spencer's discussion with Emily, he believes that he should tell Y/N the truth about his feelings. However months pass before he actually plucks up the courage.

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Even though Spencer promised himself that he would tell Y/N how he felt, months passed and the words never came out of his mouth. Everytime he would even think about telling her, he backed out before he could even think of the right words to say. I'm in love with you. That's what he wanted to say but he had no idea how to approach the topic. For once in his life, Spencer was completely lost on what to do.

After Y/N had told the rest of the team about her divorve from James, she seemed to be a lot happier and a lot more carefree. The team hadn't really noticed it but Spencer did. He had been staying at Y/N's the majority of the time, he only stayed in his own apartment if he needed to. He knew that Y/N appreciated the company and he enjoyed staying with her all the time. Even though the two had been close ever since Y/N joined the BAU, the two had never spent so much time together outside of work.

"Oh, Spencer!" Y/N called out.

"Yeah?" He answered back, tearing his eyes away from the book he was reading.

Y/N appeared from around the corner in some jeans, a t-shirt and his cardigan. Y/N had unintentionally stolen it from him. Spencer didn't mind however, everytime she wore it (which was quite often) his heart would swell twice its size.

"I am going to the store, do you want anything?" Y/N said, standing behind the couch, "I was thinking about hosting a movie night here tomorrow, we haven't gone out as a group ina while and instead of that I thought we could enjoy a lazy night in."

Spencer threw his head against the back of it and looked up at Y/N. A smile spread across his face, "That sounds like a perfect idea."

Y/N smiled back at him, placing her hands gently on his shoulders, "So do you want anything?"

"Anything will do." Spencer replied, lifting his head up from the back of the couch. He grew flustered quickly as the feeling of her hands on his shoulders and the eye contact got too much.

Y/N, however, didn't notice Spencer's slight change in mood as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and hugged him from behind the couch, "That's great, I'll just get some snacks. I told the others to bring some of their own food as well so we can have a variety," Y/N removed her arms from around Spencer's shoulders and he immediately missed the feeling, "I'll be back in about an hour."

Spencer could feel his heart beating out of his chest. He knew he needed to tell Y/N how he felt sooner rather than later because he knew that she was going to be the death of him.

***

The next night, Spencer, Y/N, Penelope, Emily, JJ, Tara and Luke were crowded around Y/N's television, Rossi and Matt couldn't make it as Rossi had something else planned and Matt already planned to do a similar thing with his family. A film played in the background however, no one was really paying any attention to it as the group laughed and joked.

Spencer could only focus on one thing however, and that was Y/N sitting next to him. His arm was resting on the back of the couch when she had decided to sit next to him and he felt too awkward to move it. The genius was pretty sure that everyone sensed something was wrong with him but no one decided to bring any attention to it.

At one point in the night, Y/N had been pushed closer to Spencer as Emily had joined the two and Tara on the couch. She was not positioned in a way where her legs were rested against his and if she moved, her back would be pressed against his chest. Spencer knew that Emily had done it intentionally from the look she gave him. He brushed it off and pretended not to notice.

By the time a third film was playing, Spencer felt a weight fall on top of his chest. Y/N had rested against him with her eyes closed - she was asleep. Even though they were in a similar position several months ago, Spencer felt more awkward as there were other people around. Y/N could have easily fallen asleep on Emily.

"When are you going to tell her Spencer?" Emily questioned.

Spencer sighed, "I don't know. I want to but I don't want to ruin our friendship and don't you think it's too fast, she just divorced James."

"Spencer, her and James separated nearly a year ago now, sure they only divorced six months ago but she hasn't been in love with him for a year," Emily tried to reason, "And if the two of you are as close as you seem to be, it won't ruin your friendship."

Spencer looked down at Y/N's sleeping figure on his chest, her hand was lightly gripping the front of his shirt. He placed his hand over hers and held it lightly, drawing soft patterns on it.

"I love her Emily, I really do," Spencer said softly, "But what if she doesn't love me in the way I love her."

"Spencer, Y/N has been at her happiest recently, happier than I've ever seen her. She doesn't think any of us notice but we do. And who has she been with all day, everyday. You."

"But that doesn't necessarily mean that she loves me." Spencer said.

"You're right, it might not mean she loves you, but telling her will lift a weight off of your chest that had gradually been getting heavier for nearly a decade." Emily explains.

Spencer sighed, "I'll tell her when I'm ready."

"Well you should get ready soon Spencer because one day you're going to let it slip out when you least expect it."

***

Emily was correct when she told Spencer that he would accidently let his secret slip. The team were on a case chasing down the unsub. Penelope had called them and given them the information as to where he might be. Y/N, Luke and JJ went to one location while the rest of the team went to the other.

As Spencer and everyone else searched the house, they found no one in it, it was completely empty. The team sighed and exited the house, only hoping that Y/N, Luke and JJ had better luck. However, Spencer couldn't help a gut feeling that something bad was going to happen, he had a feeling that this case wouldn't end well.

"Guys, I think we should head to the other house." Spencer announced.

"I'm sure Y/N, Luke and JJ can handle it," Emily said, "That house was the one the unsub was least likely to be at."

"I know but I can't shake the feeling like something bad has happened or is going to happen." Spencer responded.

Everyone agreed that it was the best decision to go to the house, even if the unsub wasn't there, they could help Y/N, Luke and JJ look around the house for anything that could lead them to the unsub. As the team arrived there, Luke and JJ were walking out of the house, guns holstered away.

"Did you find anything?" Emily questioned.

"Nothing out of the ordinary," Luke answered, "It seems like that house hasn't been touched in a few months."

"Where's Y/N?" Spencer questioned.

"She's still in the house, she said that she was going to check something out." JJ answered.

Spencer nodded in response, "I'll go and help her."

As soon as he stepped towards the house, two gunshots were heard from inside. Immediately everyone ran in, Spencer leading the way. Dread filled his entire body as he entered the house. He ascended up the stairs with his gun raised. Quietly, he headed into one of the rooms, checked it before heading into another one.

Spencer noticed something was odd about the room, one of the walls caved in slightly. Moving forward, Spencer pushed it open to find Y/N. She was standing over the unsub's body, her vest discarded on the floor and her gun still raised.

"Y/N?" Spencer questioned but she didn't answer, "Y/N?"

Spencer moved forward before Y/N's head snapped to his, "Spencer." She said breathlessly before she staggered forward and collapsed in his arms.

There was a gunshot wound in Y/N's side.

Spencer applied pressure to it as he lowered her down to the floor but he still held onto her. He shouted for the medics desperately as he held her body close to his.

"Y/N, stay with me okay," He mumbled against her forehead, "Stay with me, you're going to be okay. I love you, you're going to be okay."

"Spence..." Y/N muttered but Spencer shushed her.

"Shhh, don't speak, just focus on my voice okay? Just focus on my voice. No, Y/N, don't close your eyes. Y/N! Y/N!" Spencer mumbled desperately, "Medics!"

When the medics came into the room, they had a hard time trying to pry Y/N's body away from Spencer. He clutched onto her barely breathing body desperately as he believed that as soon as he took pressure off the wound, she would bleed out.

When the medics finally got Y/N out of the house, Spencer followed behind the stretcher. Everyone tried to stop him and asked what happened but he ignored them. Climbing into the ambulance with Y/N, they headed to the hospital. #

***

Spencer was a mess. He paced in the waiting room for Y/N to get out of surgery. The rest of the team tried multiple times to talk to him but he brushed them off. The only thing that mattered in his eyes was Y/N.

"Spence..." JJ approached him.

"What?" He snapped before he realised how harsh his tone was, "I'm sorry, it's just..."

"I know," JJ replied, placing a hand on his upper arm and giving it a light squeeze, "We're here for you if you need to speak to us."

"I just want- need her to be okay." Spencer responded, his eyes glazing over with tears.

"We all want that but you should sit down and rest, she won't be out of surgery yet." JJ said, guiding Spencer over to a chair.

He sat down and leaned forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. Even though JJ told him to rest, he couldn't. Y/N was in surgery and there was a small sliver of a chance that she might not pull through. If she didn't make it, Spencer would regret never telling her how he felt. He loved her so much and she would never know.

A couple hours passed before the doctor stepped out of the room. Spencer was the first to his feet.

"It was touch and go for a while but she's stable," The doctor said, causing everyone to let out a sigh of relief, "Currently she's resting but you can go in if you want."

Spencer nodded and thanked the doctor. He turned back to face the rest of the team, "I'm going in on my own if that's okay with everyone?"

"It's perfectly okay," Emily said, "Take all the time you need."

Spencer stepped into the room and saw Y/N sleeping on the hospital bed. Seeing her there was enough for his heart to break. He sat down in the seat next to her bed and held her hand in his. He brought it up to his lips before placing a kiss on it.

Spencer began sobbing, he couldn't help himself. Seeing Y/N laying there looking lifeless was enough for him. He clutched her hand in his a little tighter. His whole body shook and the tears rolled down his cheeks. There was a possibility that Spencer could've lost Y/N forever. The woman he had loved for years. The woman he was still in love with.

"I love you Y/N, so much," Spencer began talking, "You don't even know how much. I've been in love with you since I met you. It was wrong since you had a husband but I couldn;t help myself. Falling in love with you was easy. You understood me, you were always there for me, you were just unapologetically yourself."

Spencer felt Y/N's hand twitch slightly, it only prompted him to go on more, "I'm in love with you Y/N. That love has only grown in the past months. Whenever we both accidentally fell asleep on your couch and you cuddled up to me, I wanted to fall asleep to that everyday and wake up with you in my arms. You Y/N L/N are the love of my life, it doesn't matter if I am not the love of yours because I will live the rest of my life loving you."

Resting his head on the edge of the bed, Spencer continued to let the teats flow, he didn't do anything to stop them. Y/N's hand was still clutched tightly in his. It wasn't until he felt her hand twitch again when he finally looked up. Y/N's eyes were open slightly and she was looking at him with a small smile on her face.

"Y/N," Spencer said, smiling, "You're okay."

"I'm more than okay." She replied, taking her hand out of Spencer's grasp and wiping away his tears. Her hand lingered on his face. Spencer gripped onto her hand once again and Y/N gripped his back.

"Did you...did you hear? About what I said?" Spencer questioned.

Y/N nodded slightly, "I did."

"I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable, I understand if you just want to forget the entire thing ever happened." Spencer apologised, although if Y/N did want to forget it all happened, he was sure that their friendship wouldn't go back to what it had always been.

"Spence, listen to me for a moment," Y/N said as Spencer shifted his chair closer, "I don't want to forget it happened."

"You don't?"

"I don't," Y/N replied, "Spencer, ever since James and I divorced and you started staying with me, I couldn't help but think about you differently. I didn't know what it was at first as it had been a long time since I had experienced it. When I woke up every morning and we would have breakfast together, and when we would come home together, I loved the domesticity of it all. It was something I hadn't experienced in a long time."

"So you just liked that I was staying with you?"

"Let me finish Spence," Y/N replied, "Then when we started to cuddle on the couch, whenever I got close to you, I would feel my heart race and beat out of my chest. Whenever I was near you and feeling you it felt right, like I was meant to be there."

"What are you trying to say Y/N?" Spencer questioned.

"I've fallen in love with you Spencer Reid." Y/N confessed.

Spencer couldn't help but let a giddy smile spread across his face, "Really?"

"Really," Y/N said, "It had been a while since I had experienced such genuine love from someone. James and I fell out of love well over a year ago, trying to fix our marriage was a mistake, it never would have worked. I haven't loved anyone in a while, but then when you came along and offered me comfort when I needed it most, it opened my eyes to what love really is."

"You really love me?" Spencer questioned, it all felt surreal to him. He didn't expect that the woman he had fallen in love with nearly a decade ago, loved him back.

"I do Spencer Reid, I am completely and utterly in love with you."

Spencer stood up and hovered over Y/N slightly, "So it would be okay if I did this?"

"Please do." Y/N said before Spencer captured her lips with his own.

It was a short and sweet kiss though it set Spencer's whole body alight. Her lips were as soft as Spencer had always imagined.

Spencer pulled away and let his face hover over Y/N's, "Y/N L/N, I have been in love with you for years and I will be for the rest of my life."