S T E F A N

I can actually feel my heartbeat stop as my whole world came crashing down-- my greatest fear materializing while I stay frozen as I received the greatest shock of my life. I just received the biggest blow that rendered me incapable of moving, expecting the heart-shredding pain to assault me yet it didn't happen.

Rather, I feel so hollow and lifeless. All the colors decorating my life dulled and lost its once-vivid liveness. I can't even move as I lost all the energy I got. I wracked my brains up trying to understand what the fuck happened yet it came empty.

Everything was going well. I had my baby inside of my arms, being so pliant and submissive as he responded to my touch with utmost surrender. Then in just a flash, he was gone. My gaze went down to my shaking, empty hands as the realization dawned into me-- Ollie's gone. My baby left me.

I had to grip my chest at the onslaught of that painful, life-robbing sensation that got me on my knees, gasping as tears filled my eyes, the fact that my baby was gone is ripping me to shreds, like a thousand bullets punched a hole through me, then beat me up till I can't stand anymore, leaving me to bleed out. My hand fisted on the rug beneath me as I tried to steady my breathing, the pain coming at me in batches, not letting me breathe.

"O-ollie...my baby..." I cried as I stifled the sobs urging to come out, shallow gasps from my mouth with the intent of filling my lungs with oxygen, the searing pain definitely will be part of my life from now on if I don't do something to get him back.

But will he still want me? After I hurt him? The one thing I never ever wanted to do? Will he still look at me full of love and admiration knowing that I broke my promise?

This time, I did not stop myself as I cry harder than I did in my whole life. Not even a rejected business proposal as I was starting up reduced me to tears. Nor the way how I found out that my ex-littles are cheating on me and taking advantage of my status. It hurt my pride and ego, but that was it. This kind of piercing and numbing pain in my chest getting more and more crushing by the minute-- my baby was the only one who made me feel this way. To the point that ending my life is just a cinch compared to what I'm feeling right now.

"Tsk. Pathetic. Why are you moping down there? Trying to memorize the patterns of that expensive fabric?" I lifted my head and was welcomed with Trevor's irritated and sarcastic expression. Any other day I would bite back but that blow did not even affect me. I guess the pain is so bad I had gone numb. I just sat there, staring at nothingness as he delivers his preaching.

"What are you still doing here? Get up and follow him, Stefan. Nothing would be resolved if you keep on having your own pity party. Get your baby, Alexandrei, or he would be gone forever," Trevor warned me, but I just shook my head and gave him a hollow laugh, as the reality of the situation just made it a thousand times heartbreaking for me. Trevor doesn't need to voice out what my heart is so terrified of.

"Hah. As if he would want me. After I hurt him." Tears came pouring out when another flash of pain came at me, as I clenched my teeth and gripped my hair. The horrible feeling is slowly consuming me, tempting me to resort to methods I did not even dream of doing.

Trevor sighed in exasperation and leaned on the nearest closet before glancing back at me. "What did you do?"

I flinched at his gentle tone so I lifted my gaze and was surprised when I saw his expression full of understanding. "W-why? Aren't you angry at me?" I asked, confused.

He gave me a small smile and sat down on the nearby couch. "Who am I to get mad? I am absolutely certain that this is just a misunderstanding. It's your first relationship after all." I was about to object when he cut me off. "Real relationship. I understand it all, Stefan. Several emotions coming at you like a missile, not knowing what to do until unknowingly, it overwhelms you. 'Where's the line here? How far should I go? When should I stop? Am I doing it right?'" Trevor gave a small smile while I sat still, unable to say a word as he vocalized the anxieties I wasn't able to say.

"H-how--?"

Trevor scoffed and leaned back; eyes fixed at a certain part of the ceiling. "Of course, I know. That's what I felt when I fell in love with Jesse. I had no clue how to go on about what I feel. The extreme happiness I get just having him smile at me made everything better. I have this heightened protective instinct when it comes to him, and when I see him cry or get hurt, I feel his pain ten times more. Most of the time, you get so lost and drowned in your emotions that you tend to overlook the small details. It happens, and it can't be helped. We just need to correct our mistakes and do our best to not let it happen again." He stood up and patted my shoulder, while I stay seated, pondering and reflecting on what my friend shared with me.

"Oh, and by the way, Devon is taking Oliver away. Good luck with that," he simply added without looking at me and went on his way. It took five seconds before it all sank in, my mind in a state of panic as flew downstairs, and I saw Devon caught my eyes full of fear, shaking his head disappointedly, and roaring the car engine to life. No.

"Devon! No! Ollie! Baby!" I screamed till my throat hurts as I flew down the stairs, but it seemed like Devon didn't give a fuck. "Devon! Stop the car!" I commanded authoritatively as I jumped through the stairs, hoping to catch up to them, but I was left there hanging, as I try to reexamine the things that led my baby to get hurt. What did he say again? I don't love him anymore? That's bullshit! I'm willing to lay my life on the line for him!

I pulled my hair in frustration and screamed, hoping to ease the negative emotions building up inside of me. Before I chase Oliver and gave Devon a piece of my mind, I have to figure out the reason why Ollie thought that I don't love him anymore. I need to do something before I lose the love of my life.

O L L I E

A cold breeze gently touching my face caused my eyes to shot open, panic starting to rack my body, scanning my surroundings, and feeling relieved when I noticed that I'm still in the car, the windows open, and the fresh sea breeze giving me a calm feeling.

My mood dropped when I remembered why I'm here in the first place, a stinging sensation on my chest as I bit my trembling lip, not wanting to cry my eyes out again. I bet they're so puffy and red. It also stings a bit. I sighed and massaged my swollen eyes softly, not wanting to irritate them more than necessary.

I had been so happy with Stefan, every single day, to the point where it's getting scary. Somehow, I got this feeling that nature will strike its balance sooner, and it did. Honestly, this is my first ever relationship, and I don't have any friends to ask about how I should go about it, the fear of connecting and forming a bond with someone hindering me as I worry about their safety with my relatives trying to make my life a living hell.

I was brought back to reality with a tap on the car door, Devon softly smiling at me as he opened it. "Hey, bud. Want to get some fresh air?" I shook my head and hugged my stuffie. Devon hummed but did not give up. "Are you sure? I was told that the sunset here is breathtaking. And as a bonus, we're the only ones here."

That got my attention. My eyes swept my surroundings and noticed that it's getting dark. How many hours did I sleep?

"About eight." I snapped my head to look at Devon as he removed my seatbelt and lead me out of the car, the strong wind blowing my curls. He pulled out a scarf from the front seat and put it on me. I gave him a small smile.

"What?" I questioned when I noticed that he kept staring at me.

"You're wondering how long you slept, right?"

I gasped and my free hand covered my mouth, my eyes widening in surprise. "That long?" He nodded. Then I narrowed my eyes on him

"Are you a mind reader?" My tone is filled with amazement and disbelief.

He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "You're just easy to read, bud." He chuckled and messed my hair, making me pout and glare at him. "Oh, I'm scared," he trembled in a fake manner and now it's my turn to roll my eyes.

I took off my boots and feel the sand on my toes, as I took a deep breath, my eyes absorbing the amazing scenery that both Stefan and I would surely enjoy, as we snuggled watching the sunset. I sighed deeply as I sat down, the sea breeze and the sound of the waves just added to the loneliness I'm feeling. How did it get to this? We were so happy and enjoying our time together. Then suddenly, it all went downhill.

I felt Devon sat down beside me but my eyes never left the setting sun, the red and orange hues, a bit of blue, decorating the sky. It's just so beautiful and relaxing. After a few minutes, Devon broke the silence.

"Okay, bud. This is the part where you should be telling me why you were bawling your eyes out. From what I remember, you both were supposed to go shopping today and I was supposed to have my daily dose of coffee cookies." I sighed and glanced at Devon, his brows lifting as he urged me to talk, and me sighing again as I stare at my wiggling toes buried in the sand. "The reason why I helped you escape for a while is to let you take a breather. We'll go back soon. I texted Stefan where we are."

I nodded and pushed my knees to my chest, then rested my arms on top them, my chin positioned on top of my folded arms. "Daddy...doesn't love me anymore," I uttered in my tiniest voice.

When I turned to look at Devon, I almost guffawed at his shocked expression, his jaw dropped to the floor as he stared at me incredulously, like I grew another head. Then seconds later, he bursts into laughter.

"Yay. What a way to make fun of my collapsing relationship with Stef," I sarcastically spat out, but Devon seemed to be enjoying himself as he grips his stomach while hilariously patting his thigh. "Fine. Laugh at me. I'm sure Stef is doing that too." I poutily added and the pang on my chest is getting stronger.

I bet he's feeling relieved that he finally got rid of his inexperienced, emotionally-baggage little. I was about to continue my pity party when Devon spoke that sent me on a guilt trip.

"Don't you ever mock my friend's feeling for you, Oliver. How can you say that when he worships the ground you walked on?" Devon's hard tone made me flinch and I moved away from him, scared of the things he might do to me, as I wrapped my arms around my torso, wishing daddy was here with me. The terrifying memories of my relatives' harassment coming back to me as I make myself smaller.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry, bud," he apologized in the gentlest tone, making me look at him and the remorse and apologies in his eyes made me nod and I gave him a small smile. I relaxed my body and sat comfortably as I wait with bated breath as he lifts his muscled arms. He released the breath he was holding and beamed at me, then jumped on me for a tight hug. "Oh, thank God. I won't be able to take it if my friend got mad at me." The relief evident in his voice yet that was not what my mind focused on.

I gasped at his words and pushed myself away from him, staring at him full of incredulity. "We're f-friends?"

He did a small eye-roll and grinned at me. Then he gave me a nod that had me squealing happily. My lips cracked into a wide smile as I jumped into him, he patting my back while I hugged him tightly. I have a friend! I finally have a friend! My happiness came out in bursts as I giggled in Devon's arms.

"Okay, bud. That's enough. Not to burst your happy bubble, but I still love my life," he said and pointed to my back; the sight of my daddy almost got me tumbling over. He is still wearing his pants, and I think Trevor managed to slip him a shirt. But what got my heart breaking was his haggard and hurt expression as he glanced at me and Devon back and forth, a flash of betrayal visible in his eyes.

"N-no... this is not what you think..." I absentmindedly blurted out, my mind reeling in panic as I try to stand up, my knees failing me as they wobbled, and Devon catching me by the waist. Another wave of hurt and pain crossed Stef's expression as he stared at Devon's arm around my waist, and he shook his head, then turned around slowly, and just then...my world ended.

My heart rate picked up and I started to feel dizzy, my vision blurry, and before I know it, all went black.

"Oliver!"