O L L I E

If Tie can speak, I will definitely get admonished by the way I almost squeezed my precious stuffie. Well, I am so happy to have Tie in my arms, and second, I am in high spirits. Stefan helped me retrieve Tie and Trevor and Devon also assisted me in packing my things and bringing them downstairs. Thankfully, I didn't unpack all the way. I just moved and some of my things are still in my boxes.

"Baby, I love your room. Did you paint all of this?" Stefan pointed to the paintings being covered by white fabric. He was examining each of my works with so much admiration that it made my heart swell.

With a shy smile, I nodded. "I love painting. It helps me reduce stress and explore my creativity at the same time." Stefan turned to me with a soft expression and when he opened his arms, I didn't hesitate to jump into his embrace.

Stefan cupped my cheeks and showered my face with butterfly kisses while telling me how talented and admirable I am. His words of praises caused butterflies to swarm in my belly and plastered a delighted grin on my lips.

Stefan rested his chin on top of my head while I wrapped my arms around his waist, my cheek on his firm chest, as we swayed our bodies to his gentle humming. It didn't take long before we started slow dancing while I giggled from too much giddiness.

Stefan always puts a smile on my face and I love it. I love the feeling of Stefan's gentle hands on me. I love the warmth of his soft hugs. I love the feel of his passionate kisses. I love the sound of his voice and laughter, and I'm pretty sure that I'm going to love a lot of things as we go further into our relationship.

A few days ago, I would not have expected to dance intimately with my lover in the privacy of my bedroom. I didn't imagine receiving gentle touches and kisses since I don't have the courage to forge a bond with others because of paranoia. There were a lot of things I never expected to happen, and I'm so glad it was Stefan who fulfilled them for me. I don't even want to imagine how heartbroken I would be if I realize that this is all a dream.

Just the thought of being anxious and having to deal with my panic attacks on my own again was starting to terrify me. My breathing started to pick up and small tremors made their way to my fingers. No. Not now, Ollie. Not now. Don't ruin the mood. Calm down.

I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and thought of happy things. Anything that would bring me to my happy place would suffice however, the opposite happened. My happy memories with my parents turned distorted and all I remember were the times they harassed and trespassed in my residence. The paranoia and horror started to reverberate through my whole being.

My body tensed up, my breathing turned heavy, and tears burned the rim of my eyes. Stefan went still and took a peek at me, then paled slightly when he saw my condition. "D-Daddy..."

Stefan cursed carried me bridal style, every step urgent, as he delivered soothing words to my ears. "Baby, Ollie, hang on. You'll be fine. I will never leave you, okay? Take deep breaths, my love," he whispered and kissed my forehead.

I nodded and practiced my breathing exercises and nuzzled on his throat, hoping that his scent will help me calm down. I want to tell him that I'll be alright but I don't think I will be for a few minutes. Still, it comforts me to know that Stefan cares for me.

S T E F A N

This is not how I imagined our day would be. I planned to spoil my baby to death, cook him his favorites, maybe invite him for a swim in the pool, or anything he desires after we moved in. I was so lost in my world, feeling Oliver's soft skin against mine as we swayed against my hums when I felt him tremble.

I was alarmed when Oliver started to hyperventilate so I pressed the emergency button on my timepiece to alert Trevor and Devon. I lifted him and made our way out of his apartment, my chest pounding nervously while my stomach, rock-hard. I tried to relax because panicking will do no good to Oliver.

Trevor scrunched his face when he saw me with Oliver. "Is he hyperventilating?" I nodded, the back of my throat in pain from the thick emotion. "Put him down on the seat carefully. Devon, do we have any paper bags around?" Devon rummaged through the dashboard and handed the brown paper to Trevor. "Oliver, breathe using this. Slow and deep breaths, okay?"

Oliver shakily nodded while I assisted my baby and crouched down. I held the paper bag while Oliver leaned in and started to inhale and exhale. Thankfully, it was effective. His chest started to breathe evenly and in a steady motion, but his tear-filled eyes and tired expression squeezed my heart painfully. If only I could transfer his pain to me so my baby won't have to experience this kind of suffering, I would do so in a heartbeat.

"It's better if we get him checked, Stefan. We need to understand if this is just a normal case of hyperventilation or if this is a panic or anxiety attack." Trevor glanced at Oliver worriedly. My baby was leaning on my chest, his eyes closed, and his breathing soft and slow.

"I agree with Trevor, Stefan," Devon voiced out. "We are worried for Oliver. Let's take him to Isaac," Devon referred to our friend who's a renowned therapist.

I glanced at Oliver and softly stroked his hair. "Baby, are you okay with that? Hmm?"

Oliver whimpered softly and shook his head. "I'm scared, daddy. So scared," he murmured and buried his face on my neck, while I glanced at my friends helplessly. Trevor gestured for me to convince Oliver so with a deep sigh, I gathered Oliver in my arms until I was sitting on the backseat with him on my lap.

"Baby, I understand that you're scared. We all get scared but we should not let fear control us. If you want to ask me, I am itching to run you to Isaac's clinic to make sure that you are safe. Your health is very important to me, Ollie. You don't have to worry because I will be by your side the entire time holding your hand. You are not alone in this." Oliver went quiet while I drew soothing circles, praying that he'll agree to this request.

After a few seconds of internal struggle, Oliver nodded hesitantly, lips trembling and eyes filled with unshed tears as he looked up at me. "Okay, daddy, but promise never to leave my side. I will cry so hard and will probably give you the cold shoulders for a week," he threatened with a sniffle and I nodded and dropped a kiss on the tip of his nose.

"I'll take note of that, baby. I promise to stay beside you all the time," I promised and hugged him again. He pressed his body closer to mine and sighed pleasantly. I turned to my friends and nodded. Trevor slid to the driver's seat while Devon closed the door for us. Devon sat on the shotgun after. When Trevor fired up the engine, Oliver curled in my hold as I did my best to keep him comfortable throughout the ride.

If Trevor's guess is correct that Oliver had an episode of anxiety or panic attack, then all the more that we should seek Isaac's help.

Isaac Haynes is a world-renowned therapist and general surgeon; a prominent figure in his field. Isaac is a family friend and I hope that he can help Oliver get through whatever it is he's suffering from. Halfway through our ride, I noticed Oliver shifting in my lap. When he lifted his head, there was something soft in his expression that I couldn't point a finger on it.

"Daddy." Oliver's soft voice reverberated within our space and I instantly knew what it was. My adorable baby is in his little headspace. I have never seen him in his little headspace since we met, and I have an inkling that it had something to do with Oliver's past. I need to find out the reason why Oliver is holding himself back from entering his little headspace.

If he's in his little headspace now, that means that he trusts me to take care of me, and that realization warmed my heart. I rubbed his cheek soothingly and smiled. "Yes, my little prince?"

Oliver's face lit up and his brown eyes sparkled. "Me...little pwince?" He asked coyly and hid under my chin. With a small laugh, I cupped his cheeks and peppered soft kisses all over his face until he was reduced into a puddle of giggles.

"Of course. No one else is my little prince. Only my little Ollie," I promised and his eyes shined even more, a prominent smile on his face. Oliver's soft giggles graced my ears again and even if I hear it over and over again, I wouldn't complain. Seeing Oliver happy and carefree makes me happy too.

"Ollie too...Daddy is Ollie's only daddy!" He chirped and bounced on my lap with a nod. Heat radiated in my chest and I have to reward my baby for being so sweet so I blew raspberries on his neck, causing another round of giggles from my baby.

I heard Trevor coo, my friend's eyes glancing us through the rearview mirror. Oliver turned around and gasped, then squealed and reached his hands to Trevor. Knowing that it's dangerous to be unfocused on the road, Trevor pulled over for a minute and exchanged seats with Devon. Finally settled in, Trevor turned to Oliver with a chuckle. Oliver was now leaning against my back, facing forward.

"Hey, little Ollie. It's nice to meet you," Trevor referred to Oliver's little side and Oliver nodded.

"Trevie...pop," Oliver requested out of the blue and held out his open palm. Trevor blinked slowly and glanced at me in confusion. I turned my attention outside the window, seemingly interested in the scenery out there. Revenge time, asshole.

When Oliver asks for a pop, he doesn't mean a lollipop. It's gum. Oliver enjoys popping a piece of gum in his mouth and blowing on it until it pops. Trevor looked at Oliver helplessly and scratched his brow awkwardly. "Sorry, little one. No... pop?"

Oliver gasped dramatically, horrified from the news he just heard and with a disappointed shake in his head, tucked himself back into my arms. "Hate Trevie. No fwends with Trevie," Oliver said in a shaky voice and a sniffle. Trevor's eyes widened and he turned to me for help. With a small eye-roll, I dropped a kiss on Oliver's forehead.

Teasing Trevor is nice once in a while but I don't like seeing my little prince sad. It's just not worth it. "Baby, do you really hate Trevie?" I asked in a gentle tone while carding his hair. Oliver sighed against my hold and shook his head after a few seconds. Trevor breathes a sigh of relief while I caught a glimpse of Devon rolling his eyes. "Then why did you say you hate Trevie?"

Oliver grabbed my shirt and played the hem. "Trevie no pop for Ollie." Oliver's trembling voice was laced with so much sadness.

"Baby boy, can you look at daddy? Hmm?" Oliver nodded and slowly lifted his head with a small pout. "Don't worry, little prince. Trevie promised to buy you lots of treats after we got you checked. Won't you, Trevie?" I turned to Trevor who nodded furiously and scrambled to type something in his phone.

"Absolutely, Ollie. I'll buy you tons," Trevor promised and when Oliver smiled at him again, Trevor's expression loosened. Oliver's eyes twinkled at the mention of unlimited treats but frowned when I mentioned the check-up again. I noticed that Oliver started to slip out of his headspace and I wanted to smack myself for that. Still, Oliver's health is our priority. After all, it may help us understand the fear behind Oliver's brown pools. The fear that my baby tried to hide and failed to do so.

*****

Almost an hour later, we parked at the main entrance of Isaac's mansion. I already gave my friend a call ten minutes ago. The purpose was just to let him know of our visit so he could inform the guard of our arrival. I was so preoccupied with my baby that I didn't have the time to tell Isaac earlier.

One of the maids welcomed us and assisted us to the back where Isaac's clinic is located. I have my baby plastered on my waist while I wrapped my arm around his shoulders. Devon and Trevor are behind. The front door of the clinic opened and we saw Isaac with a permanent scowl on his face. I threw him a pleasant smile but Isaac did not buy it.

"Fuck you, Alexandrei. You owe me big," Isaac whispered over my ears when he pulled me close in the guise of a friendly hug. The frown on Isaac's forehead loosened when he finally noticed Oliver who was looking at me and Isaac curiously. Isaac pushed me aside and plastered his best smile. Shaking my head, I just focused my gaze on Oliver who almost shied away at the attention.

"Hello. You must be Oliver. My name's Isaac and I am one of Stefan's friends," Isaac introduced himself. Oliver smiled sheepishly and nodded.

"It's nice to meet you, Isaac. My name's Oliver, Stefan's boyfriend," Oliver added in a mumble, his cheeks burning brightly. Pride blossomed in my chest and a smug smile never left my lips. That's right. I am Oliver's boyfriend, no one else.

"You're too innocent and too beautiful to be his boyfriend. Are you sure? Is he forcing you or something? Maybe blackmail?" Isaac grimaced when he received a smack in the head from Trevor.

"Stupid. Don't put any ideas into Oliver's head," Trevor scolded Isaac who pouted like a baby. Trevor turned to Oliver. "Don't mind Isaac, Oliver. We love to tease one another," Trevor assured Oliver and my baby ran to me and reassured me that he loves me.

"Don't worry, Daddy. I believe in you, okay? You're the kindest person I know," Oliver sweetly added and gave me a brief hug, while Isaac sported a look of disbelief. Even Trevor and Devon don't seem to agree with Oliver, but they can shove their opinions up their asses. What Oliver says go.

"Anyway, are you guys ready?" Isaac turned to us but the question was directed to Oliver. Oliver flinched slightly and with a conflicted sigh, he nodded.

"I'll be by your side, Ollie. Every step of the way. I won't leave you," I promised and ruffled his hair. He glanced at me and forced a small smile.

"Okay." I grabbed his hand and entwined my fingers with his. I can feel Oliver's nerves vibrating so I squeezed his hand to let him know that I am present and I am not going anywhere. Oliver smiled and me and pressed his lips on our clasped hands. My baby is so sweet. The sweetest.

We followed Isaac to the second floor and we were led into a spacious room. Glass floor-to-ceiling windows provide illumination to the place and the overlooking view of the huge estate Isaac inherited from his grandparents was breathtaking. The walls were painted white with a hint of warm colors that added to the room's cozy atmosphere. Several ornamental plants and antique furniture decorated the room to give it a relaxing vibe. A mahogany desk was seated in the middle with comfortable and plush sofas and couches in front of the desk.

Trevor and Devon sat down on the sofa while Isaac led Oliver and me to a private room. "I know that Oliver is still apprehensive with this consultation and you don't have to force yourself, Oliver, " Isaac turned to Oliver and smiled. "It's okay to take it slow. When it comes to my patients, I prefer them comfortable when they share a part of themselves with me, especially if it's a traumatic experience." Isaac left us for our privacy while I led Oliver to a couch there and have him seated on my lap.

"Baby, I want you to know that I did not bring you here for therapy right away. I want you to familiarize yourself first with the surroundings and hope that it will ease your anxiety. Isaac is a good guy and he will help you get over your fears. We can always come here and start whenever you are ready. It will always be your choice," I explained and held his hand. I don't want Oliver to get the wrong idea.

Oliver smiled a little and gave me a soft peck on the lips. "Thank you, daddy. You always have my best interests in mind. I am so lucky to have the best daddy in the world," murmured and rested his head on my shoulders. My throat constricted from the overwhelming emotions crashing at me in waves. Oliver does not know how much he validated me through his words. Too many failed relationships with my ex-littles told me that maybe I am not suited to this lifestyle.

Then came Oliver; my sweet, gorgeous, and precious baby boy. He came to me when I was about to give up on the lifestyle and brought another meaning to my existence as a daddy dom. If I didn't bump into Oliver that day, I would have quit as a daddy and just focused my attention and time on my business, but fate has been so kind to me. It gave me another chance to prove myself.

Oliver reached for my face and shakily pressed his lips on mine. It was brief and soft but full of so many emotions. "Daddy, I know how it kills you not knowing what's going on with me. It has only been a few months since mom and dad passed away and reliving everything that happened from that point on--"

"Baby, you don't have to tell me. I can wait," I cut him off and massaged his nape for comfort. Oliver shook his head and stared at me with a newfound determination. A glint of bravery flashed in his eyes.

"I understand, Stef, but if we're going to do this, you need to know what happened to me three months ago. I can't live carrying this heavy burden alone. I need your help." I swallowed and nodded, not trusting myself to say anything. I'm not sure if I'm prepared to learn about his past, but if Oliver's forcing himself to conquer his fears, then I have to be brave for him too.

I'm not sure if I can trust myself to be calm after Oliver's finished story. Just imagining the fear and pain they inflicted on Oliver is awakening something dark and twisted inside of me. They are rousing the monster I didn't want to be freed.