I was completely and fully unsatisfied.

I've never felt that way before and it made me insecure. It took an unbelievable amount of effort to get off of Florencio. Florencio's body shook, his laugh silent, watching me try to compose myself. I ran my hands through my messy hair a few times, went to the bathroom and slipped on my bra. My body erupted in goosebumps, remembering the intense moment that happened only a few minutes ago.

When I got out of the bathroom, I found Florencio in the kitchen. His phone lit up on the counter. He snatched his phone away before I could look at the called ID. He told me to stay in the kitchen while he went to the living room. I eavesdropped on him, of course. The name, Tyler and Rudy, came up a few times. His eyes were unfocused when he came back to the kitchen. I stood up straight when he saw me, trying to seem normal. If he thought what he did would hold my concerns down, he was wrong.

"I have to go," he said, obviously distracted by something else. I doubted asking him anything at this point. Anger started to build up in me.

"I know why you did that," I told him. He looked at me unsurely. "You don't want me to ask any questions." My breathing started to pick up. It felt good, so good, but I couldn't believe he... did that.

He took a step closer to me.

"You just make me so confused," I stressed. "I've wasted—spent these last three months with you and I know nothing about you..." I looked at him in the eyes. "What do you want from me?" I was scared for his answer. I didn't want to be apart from him. I wanted him in some weird way I didn't understand.

Florencio was still, his eyes not moving from me. "I have no idea," he finally answered me.

I swallowed a lump that formed in my throat. "What were you talking about with Rudy that night we met?" That was my very first question, I guess. Square one.

"Drugs," he replied bluntly. "Thats all it's ever about."

"I almost died because of you," I pointed out bitterly. "Was that all about drugs?"

"Yes." His expression turned cold. "You know what I do, honey."

I accidentally bit my tongue. I wiped my pathetic tears away. "I do know. I somehow manage to push it all away." I realized our 'relationship' was more complex than I thought it was.

"Parker." Florencio came up to me, holding my face in between his hands. I closed my eyes, ashamed being held by him felt right. He kissed my eyelids.

"I don't know what I want from you," I confessed.

He stayed silent.

-

The next three days of being alone and having heated conversations with my mom, I felt frustrated.

I called Gina when my mom left for work that morning.

"Come over?" I said when she picked up. "My moms not here."

"I feel like your boyfriend or something," Gina laughed. "I always rush over there when your moms not home."

"Haha," I laughed unamused. "Just get over here."

Twenty minutes later, I heard a few sharp knocks on the front door. A childish, fun feeling filled me as I opened the door.

"Hi," I said cheekily. Gina's face lit up just like mine did.

"Where you been, babe?" Gina hugged me and walked inside. She kicked off her tennis shoes and gave me her coat. "Hang that up for me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sure." I threw her coat on the couch carelessly.

Gina welcomed herself to the kitchen, grabbed a few snacks, and dragged me to my room.

She huffed. "Alright, loser. Tell me about your mom. I know she's getting on your shit."

"Geez, Gina." I scooted the farthest away from her as I could on my bed. I needed someone here, but I also wanted to be alone. My mind was a mess at the moment.

"Am I wrong?" She raised her eyebrows knowingly.

I looked away from her, my eyes dragging over the pillows behind her. "No, but—!" I held up a hand when she opened her mouth to stop her. "She's my mom and I can't—"

"What? Talk to her about how she's been treating you your whole life?" Gina's fiery red hair matched her red eyeshadow I couldn't stop staring at.

"You should have like a podcast or something," I commented. She would definitely have a lot of fun talking to people and telling them what she thought. "You're very blunt. Also I can't stop staring at your eyes."

She smiled. "Thank you. I know. Also, you have the same palette as me. You can easily recreate this beautiful look." She shook her head and shoved me. "Stop changing the subject. You're bad at it."

I cleared my throat. "Thanks." Upset, I tugged at my hair. "I really don't like talking about my mom."

"I don't either," Gina agreed.

I snorted. "She's still my mom, G."

She made a face. "Yeah. Your grandma was better." The few times my grandma had visited after she moved out, she praised Gina and she enjoyed it. A lot.

"You just like her because she's nice to you," I stated.

Gina suddenly laughed loudly. She pressed her hands to her burning face. "Oh my god! Your mom is kinda a bitch. Oh shit, I'm sorry, Parker."

I bit my lip hard. I shouldn't be laughing. I wasn't, but, it was hard not to. I was a mean person. I was sure of it. Maybe that's why my mom disliked me so much.

"Gina," I hushed her. "Don't say that."

"What?! The last time I was in her presence she mentioned how I was killing my hair."

I let out a stifled laugh. "She wants to dye my hair black. She says it's so dark might as well."

Gina frowned. "Parker, I know you feel like you can't block her out of your life because she's your mom, but, sometimes parents are assholes."

"Gina, stop calling my mom all these names!"

She held her hands up in defense. "I said parents. Not specifically her."

"Sure." I rolled my eyes.

Gina opened a bag of chips and ate a few. "This isn't even the end of this mess with you. What about that guy you've been seeing? I wanna meet him. I also told Peter about him and he's excited to have someone to hang out with when we get together."

I shook my head. I couldn't imagine Florencio talking to Peter, playing basketball with him or something.

"We're not..." I tried to come up with a word that described, not together, confusing, and odd. "You know..." I trailed off again.

Gina shook her head. "No. I don't know. Tell me."

"Well," I wracked my brain for something to say. "You know how you and Peter are all over each other—"

"You mean we're boyfriend and girlfriend?" She cut me off.

"Yes," I agreed. I started to feel breathless. "I-It's simple a-and—"

"Okay, calm down, Parker. You look like your head is about to explode."

"Yeah," I breathed helplessly.

"So it's complicated? That's all you had to say." Gina's smile left her face. "Just... make sure you're okay. Okay?"

I nodded.

"God, I feel like a crappy friend. I don't really know what to say." She shrugged her shoulders.

I scooter closer to her. "No. It's okay. That's all I needed." Except it wasn't. I hugged Gina anyways.

I would talk to Florencio tomorrow. I wasn't sure where to start, but I would and he'd have to listen.

-