today's the day.

love or host starts this afternoon.

i wake up energetically at 6:30 AM. way earlier than i have to, but i can't find it in me to go back to sleep. i'm way too excited for today.

i decide to post something on twitter, to get people excited for love or host.

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valerie :) @valeriedavis: i'm on tommyinnit's love or host today at 3 pm pst, be there or be square ;)

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i'm pleasantly surprised in the amount of likes and retweets. i knew that the stream boosted my popularity, but i didn't realize it was this much. nonetheless, i get up, change, and eat breakfast.

i pour myself a bowl of cheerios and look at the good luck text lindsay sent me a few minutes ago.

lindsay green♥️: just saw your twitter post, you look v cute :) i just want to wish you good luck! ily val and i know you'll do great. i'm proud of you for taking a chance and auditioning, let alone being one of the ten to get on! fricking insane man. anyway, love you, good luck, have fun. i'll be watching it all

i smile as i type out a response thanking lindsay, and turn off my phone.

a few hours pass and it's 3:50 pm. my parents are downstairs with the tv on, playing gonedoc's opening livestream for the show. i look in the mirror at myself and straighten out my white collar.

i can't believe i'm going to be on a dating show in ten minutes.

i take a deep breath and try to relax, though that's easier said than done. i just want this to go smoothly. i don't want to mess everything up.

i tell myself my goal is to at least not be the first person eliminated.

after a few minutes, it's time.

AustinShow has invited you to the chatroom.

i adjust my hair, smooth out my sweater, and click "join."

when i join, the girls start filing in very shortly after me. they are all very pretty and have much more professional setups than me. i smile as i enter and look at everyone. then, a few seconds after, he joins.

tommyinnit.

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i glance around the call to see everyone who's here. they are all pretty, but there's one girl that really stands out.

valerie.

she's the prettiest one in my eyes, with wavy dark brown hair and dark green eyes. her long, dark eyelashes almost touch her eyebrows, and she has carefully done eyeliner on. her dark sweater stands out against her light background, and her freckles perfectly align her cheeks and nose.

i look at her and smile. that's the one i'm going to talk to first.

she catches me looking at her and her eyes grow wide. she looks to the ground almost immediately.

that was cute.

i inhale sharply and adjust my white shirt. she's pretty, but there's always a possibility that she's a bitch. so i can't make decisions just yet.

but then again...

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did i just catch tommyinnit staring at me?

no way. there's no way.

he looks exceptionally handsome. his shaggy, blonde hair is just as messy as ever, and he has a clean white t-shirt on. but of course, my favorite part about him. his eyes. they're such a sharp blue, and they're so crystal-like that i swear i see them glisten. his eyelashes swoop above them, and he smiles a crooked smile that makes me want to win this show even more.

"welcome everyone," austin exclaims, snapping me out of my trance. "to TOMMYINNIT'S love or host, hosted by cashapp! make sure to have your cashapp open in case cashapp drops money during the stream!" there's a short pause before he continues. "today i have before me ten very lovely ladies that will all be competing to win over the heart of mister tommyinnit. now, let's welcome CHOMMY! OI OI OI!" i laugh as austin tries (and fails) to mimick tommy's accent.

"hello, austin," tommy says, holding back laughter.

"isn't this insane?" austin asks. "you've been a surprise guest on love or host for two years and now it's your time to shine. how do you feel?"

"i can't wait to get a woman."

"is this the first time you're going to be speaking to women?"

"a two-sided conversation, yes. i have women drooling over me all the time, austin. the ladies can't get enough of me."

right. because you know all the ladies love minecraft gamer boys.

i smile as the thought flows through my head.

"it's time to meet the girls. amanda, will you start us off?"

"of course! hi everyone, and hi tommy, my name is amanda! i'm a small streamer that enjoys streaming bed wars and pvp on hypixel. tommy, i know you started off on hypixel so there's one thing we have in common," a girl, amanda, with long red hair says. "i'd love to get to know you and hopefully win the show."

"you have an accent," tommy says. "where are you from?"

"scotland," amanda replies with a large grin. tommy nods.

"next we have carmen," austin announces. "tell us a bit about yourself.

"hey y'all," carmen says. she has a thick southern accent that's almost hard to understand. "i'm carmen, i live in australia, moved here from texas a couple months back. i'm a rust streamer and i stream once a week." she chomps on her bubblegum loudly and i cringe.

"carmen," tommy says. "do you know sapnap?"

"sapnap? no sir, never heard of him."

"good."

everything goes smoothly for a while. the girls introduce themselves, and then there are only three girls left that have to introduce yourself. and i'm third to last to go.

"next we have valerie!" austin says.

"hey guys!" i say, smiling and waving.

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i hold back a smile the second i hear her voice. her voice is deeper than everyone else's, but it's smooth, flows perfectly, and matches her well. but she has an accent...

"my name is valerie, or val, and i'm..." she laughs. "i'm not a streamer at all. but i'm a senior in high school, i'm eighteen years old, i'm a virgo, and i'm majoring in criminology. i do play video games, though. my favorites are minecraft and genshin impact. i'm super excited that i was given the opportunity to be here and i'm insanely grateful. tommy, i can't wait to talk to you and get to know you more, along with the rest of you girls. and you're all really pretty... just thought i'd say that." she hangs her head and fidgets with her fingernails. i think about the way my name rolled off her tongue. she somehow made my name sound elegant.

"valerie," i say, just as pleased at the way her name sounds coming from my lips. "i noticed your accent... please don't tell me you're american..."

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whoops.

i forgot about the american thing.

"jesus christ, i wish i wasn't," i say, shaking my head.

"america sucks," tommy replies, smirking.

"damn right it does. get me out of here. i'd rather be in any other country."

"too bad you guys don't have a queen."

"bro i WISH i had the queen. not just any queen, but THE queen."

"you're a fan of the queen?"

"duh."

"who are you talking about?" tommy rubs his chin. "i have to make sure we're on the same page here."

"queen elizabeth of england, of course. who else would i be talking about?"

"just making sure we're on the same page. you're not saying this just to impress me, right?" i shake my head.

"i would never lie on the queen's name."

"well, what about-"

"alright alright, that's enough tommy!" austin interrupts. "you've still got two girls left to meet and we already restarted the timer once! stop flirting with valerie and move on!"

my cheeks burst into flames after that last comment and i'm sure my face is as red as a tomato. i look over at tommy, who's face is more pink than usual.

after tommy meets the last two girls, jules and marissa, the stressful part comes.

the elimination.

carmen and gianna are in the bottom three when it's my turn, so i'm either the last one in the bottom three or safe.

"valerie..." austin says. he waits a few seconds before announcing that i'm safe. i let out a sigh of relief. i'm not the first one out!

mission accomplished.

"thank you," i mutter awkwardly.

between carmen, gianna, and marissa, carmen is kicked off the show.

"i'm sorry carmen, you seem nice but..." tommy sighs. "you chomp your gum WAY too loudly. like holy shit, i tried listening to you talk but all i could hear was that wad in your mouth!" i let out a hearty laugh.

"easy, tommy! let her down gently!" austin says between laughs. "and with that... carmen chose love." tommy's eyes widen.

"i still don't regret it." he brushes his knuckles together.