"Hey, kiddo."

"Don't call me kiddo." The words were harsh, but I couldn't fight the grin playing on my lips that clearly contradicted them. "You're the kiddo."

Audrey stuck her tongue out at me. "Yeah, right. I'm an adult."

"Only legally."

We both laughed as she took the bag of popcorn out of the microwave.

She flinched away from the bag with a groan. "Dude, this popcorn is burnt. Like, majorly burnt."

"If you didn't smell it before you took it out of the microwave, it must not be that burnt."

"You must be giving me whatever you have." She pointed at me. "Do not. I like being able to smell."

"Too late. You probably already got it, so now we gotta suffer in sickness together." I got up from the couch and stood next to her. I picked up the popcorn bag.

The smell made me bristle. "Yep, that's burnt alright." I grabbed another unpopped popcorn bag and threw it at her.

She grabbed it with a laugh as I walked back to the couch.

She might've caught the bag, but she hadn't caught the frown my lips twisted into. I wrapped myself up in my blanket and tried to focus on the movie that was playing on the television.

That stupid smell made me think of him. I curled further into the blanket, trying to put it out of my mind. Rudolph's dorky antics did little to help, as the adorable reindeer brought thoughts of him back tenfold. Once Clara arrived on-screen, I was gone. I couldn't stop picturing his face or remembering our kiss.

My stomach was still doing flips as Audrey sat down with a fresh bowl of popcorn.

"Oh! I love this part!" She shoved some popcorn in her mouth.

I tried again to put my focus on the movie, or even my sister's side comments, but I couldn't do it. It always kept circling back to him. It was always him. Why couldn't he get out of my head?

I closed my eyes, but instead of helping me get my bearings, it just made me see his face more clearly. My image of him smiled and my heart still raced. I could still hear him say my name. I could hear him laugh.

I could hear him say we needed to talk.

___________

Knock. Knock. Knock.

I turned from the methodical knocks towards Audrey.

"Older sibling gets to stay on the couch."

I let out an overexaggerated groan as I got up and opened the door.

We stared at each other for a long moment. His hazel eyes stared back into mine.

I opened my mouth to say something, but he put a finger to my lips.

"Before you get a chance to say anything," he said, "I wanted to say I'm sorry."

His voice was so much deeper. His muscles were more pronounced. His hair was styled.

"Chase..." I tried to find the words. I'd rehearsed what I'd say to him if I ever saw him again every day in my head. But the second we met face-to-face, all the rehearsal went out the window. I was running on instinct now.

"Chase, it's been two years." My voice was quiet and even. I managed to look into his eyes again. They were so soft. He looked... so soft.

He sighed, closing his eyes as he exhaled. "I know."

"You didn't call. Didn't text. Didn't give me the slightest hint you were alive."

"I know."

We stared at each other in silence again before I gave him a quick kiss.

His lips were soft too.

"Who's at the door?" Audrey's voice broke the snowglobe the moment had been trapped in moments prior.

I stepped away from him and into the apartment. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

He seemed to recognize the cue and stepped inside with me. Audrey's eyes widened comically, eliciting a small chuckle from us, even though I'm sure neither of us felt like laughing.

"Dude, it's been, like, a millennia!"

"Yeah, it has, hasn't it?" He looked down at me.

I glanced at Audrey. "We're going to go talk."

"Oh, yeah! Yeah, go for it!"

"Thanks." I took his hand and gently ushered him into my bedroom.

We sat on my bed.

I felt like a freshman again.

"You probably don't want me to listen, er, listen to me. I get that. I wouldn't want to listen to me either, but I... I wanted to apologize again. I can't explain anything. Classified stuff."

I nodded.

"I wanted to see you again, though." He paused. "I needed to see you again. All the lights reminded me of... Well, us. It hurt more than last year. I don't know why, but... Here I am. I wanted to spend Christmas Eve with you if that's okay. Bake cookies. Watch movies. Whatever. I just wanted one more day with you."

I looked into his soft gaze. I took a deep breath and got up from my bed. I went over to my drawers and grabbed something. I walked back over to him.

"I'm sure you know how many questions I want to ask, but I'm not going to. I'm choosing to be understanding. I'm a different person too. I need you to remember that. I'm not the same as I was two years ago; I'll never be. I know you're not either. It's been hurting me too. So, I'll spend Christmas Eve with you on one condition."

The hope in his eyes made the butterflies in my stomach flutter gently. I missed those eyes. "What?"

I revealed the object I had grabbed earlier. "You have to wear this Santa hat for the entirety you're in my apartment."

He laughed. It was genuine and it made me melt like butter. "I wasn't expecting it to be that easy. My answer is yes, obviously."

"Well, life's full of surprises." I slid the hat onto his head. "Like when a guy from your past shows up on your doorstep."

The Santa hat made him so much cuter. He was attractive before, but now he was distinctly cute.

He grinned. "Or when a girl from your past agrees to let you stay."

"Or that." I matched his grin.

___________

"I added the milk."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" I laughed. "I distinctly remember getting the milk from the fridge, unscrewing the lid, putting it in the measuring cup, pouring it into the bowl, and putting it back into the fridge."

He gave me a look. "If these cookies come out of the oven looking watery and sad, I'm blaming you."

I grinned. "Fair."

He pulled out the tray and I started laughing. "Did you add any eggs?"

Chase looked at me, betrayal in his eyes. "There were eggs in this recipe?"

___________

"This isn't working."

"Did you plug it in?"

"C'mon, I wouldn't forget to plug it in. Who do you think I am? Adam?"

I laughed and tried not to dwell on the fact that I missed his siblings too.

I had him tonight and that was good enough.

"Alright, you didn't forget to plug it in. But you did plug it into the top one, which is broken." I plugged the cord into the bottom of the outlet. "At this rate, your snowman will be entirely snow." I gestured to the two plain white circles made of craft foam.

"Maybe my snowman wants to be that way. Accessories are overrated."

As I sat down next to him at the table, I silently gestured to the Santa hat on his head.

"Hey, I'm wearing this out of obligation."

I grinned. "Just admit you love it."

"No."

"Admit it."

"No."

"Please?" I looked up at him through my eyelashes.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. It's comfortable."

"And stylish!"

"Comfortable. That's what you're getting out of me."

I laughed. "Good enough!"

"Oh, don't look so triumphant."

He sounded annoyed, but I could see him suppressing a smile.

___________

I felt his hands running through my hair.

As I blinked my eyes open, I was met with the ending credits of Elf.

When had I fallen asleep?

I closed my eyes again, trying to fully enjoy the cathartic experience of someone playing with my hair. Audrey always refused to and I'd never asked anyone else.

I must've accidentally shifted too much on the couch, or maybe he sensed the shift in my breathing, because he stopped.

I groggily sat up, looking over at him.

Silent tears were pouring down his face.

My eyebrows furrowed as I gently cupped his face. "What?"

"I wish I could stay." Chase gave me a watery smile. "I really wish I could stay."

"Me too. All I want for Christmas is you."

He chuckled as I wiped away more tears from his cheeks. "That was really cheesy."

"What else would get you to stop crying besides cheesy Christmas-themed pick-up lines?"

"...Nothing?"

"Exactly."

He gave me another soft smile. "Better keep going."

"Are you Christmas?" I forced a smile. "Because I want to merry you."

My smile became a little less forced as he gave a soft laugh.

"Shouldn't you be on top of the tree? Because you're an angel."

The tears stopped flowing as his smile grew.

"I didn't think I was a snowman, but you just melted my heart."

"That's the best one."

He pulled me into a gentle hug and I had to fight the tears.

We stayed like that for a long time.

I tried to memorize the feeling of his body, his smell, and the sound of him breathing.

I don't remember who finally let go, but someone did. We stood up from the couch. I followed his eyes as they glanced over at the analog clock on the kitchen counter.

As we watched, it clicked. 12:00 a.m.

He looked back at me, another watery smile on his lips. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."

We walked to the door and I opened it for him. I didn't ask any questions. I didn't voice any objections.

He turned back to me.

There was one more kiss.

It was like everything else had been that day: soft, gentle, and genuine.

I squeezed his hand and he smiled at me.

He turned back around.

I watched him walk down the hallway.

I closed the door.

And I cried.