The seconds passed without a single word coming out of his mouth. I remained silent as well, I was just too uncomfortable and prepared for anything.

Once again he penetrated my soul with his so beautifully scary eyes and all I wanted to do was scream out and cry of fright, pain, and discomfort.

This situation was too much for me, and probably it was too much for him as well.

I felt so stupid.

I shouldn't have done this to him the day after his traumatic treatment.

He was weaker than ever.

He had just been humiliated and abused. Forced into something against his will.

Deep inside of me, I still felt sympathy for him. But I had to do this for myself.

I was falling apart, and that was because of him. He affected me in only the bad ways. He made me weak, weak from passion, weak from hate, and weak from mentality.

He took everything from me.

It was like he was slowly stealing my soul to use it for himself. Like he turned me into the lunatic instead of himself.

He was the devil who slowly sucked my spiritual energy out to turn himself into the good one. Because in his presence, I felt like I was the sick one, the one that had to be taken care of, the one that had to be caressed and comforted after all I had to witness because of him.

I was so disappointed with myself, but it was already too late. I had already lost...

As I looked into those extremely seductive eyes, all I wanted was to be near him. I could hug him, kiss him, share my intimacy with him, I could run away with him instantly. Because in those eyes, I could reflect everything I wanted, it was like looking right into heaven...

"What?"

I came back to reality as he opened his mouth to speak out just one single silent word.

I knew that he heard me. He just wanted me to repeat my words to make it even harder for me.

He made me so frustrated, but I was surprised by his reaction.

"You heard me, Brandon," I said as quiet as himself. The atmosphere between us was so tense that you could almost touch it.

I could feel how his heart broke into pieces in front of me, even if I had told myself that he didn't have a heart.

It was so confusing and painful. He understood that this was our last goodbye.

"You're leaving me? Now?" His voice enticed my tears. I bit my tongue so hard by now that I could taste the blood in my mouth.

"I can't keep doing this. It's the best for both of us and you know it. I am not a good nurse for you or your treatment, and you are not a good patient for me"

I kept looking into the wall as I spoke to him.

"You know that I need you," By now I could hear how the tears filled his throat, but I knew that it was all an act.

I didn't answer him. I just wanted this to be over, and even though I could just get up and leave, it felt impossible and unfair. I didn't want to leave...

"You know that... I love you, Beverly,"

Suddenly I felt like someone stabbed a knife straight into my heart and twitched it around to compass the torturing pain of hatred.

I could not hold it back any longer. I started to shake and the tears began to fall down my cheeks.

I didn't want Brandon to see me, but I believe that it was already too late as I was sitting right next to him.

Once again I had to scratch the skin of my wrist to keep some sort of control over my body.

The last thing I wanted was to break down in front of Brandon, that would just make everything worse. I had to show him that I was confident with my decision and that I was still strong, even though I truly wasn't.

He laid his hand carefully over my wrist and I shivered as I felt his skin against mine. His hand was cold and rough and even though I had every reason to feel insecure and unsound, he made me feel safe with his touch.

I dried my tears discretely with my other arm and took a deep breath to settle myself.

Once again I managed to look up at Brandon and into his sparkling eyes.

I let the seconds pass. Somehow I wanted the moment to last forever, but it couldn't...

"You will never be capable of love, Brandon"

Those were my last words before I left the room.

I ran through the corridor as the tears streamed down my face. I sobbed as quietly as I could, but it was hard to be silent when all I wanted to do was scream.

Now it was all over.

I was relieved and proud of myself, but still, I felt so much of that torturing pain. It was like he was chasing me.

Would I ever get rid of him?

Would I always feel this way? Maybe I should've stayed and kept myself from this pain.

No.

Now it was done, and it was for the best.

For Brandon's best, and last but not least,

for my best.