"Thank you very much" i said shaking my new boss's hand

"No problem" he said smiling

I walked out of building and stepped into a little local cafe

It's been quite a long time since i saw Becky

And the other lads.

I started a new life you could say

I quit smoking again and other things.

I wanted a new start, and i got that.

"One coke please" i said with a friendly smile at the women

She nodded walking back

I grabbed my phone

- one new message

I unlocked my phone and looked at the message.

- Steve

You have time? X

I smiled and replied back

- to Steve

Course, meet me at the little cafe right around the corner x

"One coke" the women smiled setting the coke on the little table that i was sitting next to

"Cheers" i whispered looking at her

She nodded and walked back

I looked outside, my life was better now

I talked with my mam again and we became closer.

"Oh hello"

I turned around and saw Brandon

"Hi" I said looking at him

"You alright?" He asked i nodded seeing him walking closer to me shaking my hand

"Yeah, you?" I asked "fine actually, why aren't you coming 'round anymore, we miss you" he said i sighed "me and your sister had a fallout a long time ago and now we aren't on the best terms you know what i mean" i said he nodded "sorry to hear that" he said

"Don't worry, what you doing here then lad?"

His lips formed into a thin smile

"I got myself a girlfriend"

I laughed

"That's great nice to hear mate" i said smiling

He nodded "she's like, gorgeous" he whispered

"I'm happy for you pal" I whispered

"Cheers, hope you find the one too, but if not and me girl and i aren't together you can ring me bell as you know" he said smiling "ah bless you you flirt" i chuckled he gave me one last smile and walked to the back of the cafe

"Who's that then?"

I turned around and saw Steve making his way towards me smiling "you stalker" i joked

"I just got 'ere" he said sitting down

"You already started drinking without me then?" He joked "shut up" i laughed

He lighted a cigarette

"How is you?" He asked "good fine to be honest" I said looking at him

"Good to hear" he whispered

"I got the job by the way"

He's eyes grew wide

"That's amazing darling!" He said smiling

"I know, I know, I'm dead excited" I smiled

He smiled "great great" he whispered

I stepped into my favorite bar and sat down waiting for Steve

- 12 am

"Finally" I whispered as he sat next to me

"Oh shut it, you take longer than me" he chuckled "what do you mean longer than you? We met up this afternoon you do your outfit and showering twice a day?" I asked

"Only for special people" he whispered smiling

"Bless you" I whispered

I looked around the pub seeing a group around my age walking into the pub

I didn't recognize them at first but when i saw a girl with bright dyed red hair laughing and walking next to a guy i knew it was Becky

I swallowed looking at my hands

"You alright, love?" Steve asked

I nodded looking at him

"You don't like alright" he whispered

"I'm fine" I said he nodded

"Want another one?" He asked i nodded

"I know right oh my god!!" Becky exclaimed laughing i looked her way and saw that i knew the rest of the people also

Bob, bondy, Larry and van- wait van?

I looked at Steve and sighed

"You wanna go home?" He asked me

I shook my head not wanting to ruin his night

"Nah I'm okay" I said he nodded again handing me the glass of wine

I looked up and saw that becky was looking my way

I pretend i didn't looked and took a sip of my wine but i heard heels walking my way and i instantly looked up

"Lexi?" She asked me "you alright?" I asked

She swallowed "can we talk." She whispered

I looked at Steve who was giving me a 'okay' smile i stood up and walked outside with her

"What's up?" I asked

"Everything, I miss you"

I sighed

"Becky you don't miss me"

"Yes i do, i miss us hanging out and that"

I shook my head

"We only hung out if you needed someone who wanted to go see the lads" I whispered

She looked at me and shook her head

"No that's not true, we were friends since kindergarten and i love you" she whispered

"But sometimes it isn't the same anymore"

She looked confused

"We grew apart, I'm different now and so are you" i said

"No we aren't-"

"But we are Becky! I quit smoking and doing weed and all those thing and got myself a proper job and that" i said

She closed her eyes for a seconds and opened them again "but i miss you" she whispered

"I miss you too but we aren't like we used to be" I said with a sad tone

"But i need you to help me"

I shook my head

"See? You need me to help you" I said

She knitted her eyebrows together

"That's always how it's been" i whispered

She looked at me with a sad expression

"Can we just try again? Start over." she whispered "I want to be i can't" i whispered

"Can't i call you tomorrow?"

"I have work tomorrow."

"The day after? Can't we do a drink?"

I sighed

"I suppose we can" I whispered

She nodded hugging me

"I just miss you so much, my life been a miss since you are out of it honestly"

I sighed "I know" I whispered

I sat next to Steve again and gave him a smile

"Who was that?" He asked

"An old friends i say" I whispered

He nodded

I looked over to her seeing that van was looking at me "what are you doing tomorrow?" Steve asked "working." I said he nodded

"I have to go home now but i call you yeah? Have a nice night love" he whispered hugging me "take care" I said

He wakes out of the pub leaving me alone

I felt van's eyes on me the whole time

"Can i pay please?" I asked the bar man

He nodded

"That's 12 pounds and 5 pence, love" he said

I nodded grabbing my purse handing him the money and standing up

I walked out of the pub and walked home.

"Good morning" I heard my boss say

"Good morning" I smiled

"Everything okay?" He asked

"Yeah you want to see my new work?" I asked

"You already started?" He asked i nodded

I grabbed my camera and showed him a picture of what i made last night

He smiled at me "that's amazing you know" he whispered "thank you" i said

I walked back to my desk and grabbed my phone

"You still up for that drink?"

I walked back home and lay in my bed

I looked at my phone

- no messages

I turned around and closed my eyes falling asleep.

- 3 am

I heard my phone go off

I opened my eyes and looked at who was calling, it was an unknown number

"Hello?"

"You deleted my number?" The oh so familiar voice said

"Van?" I asked

"Can i come over?"

"Van it's 3 in the morning"

"Please."

I sighed and stood up grabbing my too small shirt that was laying around the room and my night trousers "fine" I whispered

He thanked me and hung up

Ten minutes later i heard my door bell ring

I walked towards the door and opened it seeing van.

I looked at him and he looked at me.

"Come in" I whispered he walked in and looked at me i closed the door

"Why are you here?" I whispered

"I needed to see you" he said

"Why?" I asked him

"Cause I'd might regret not telling you what i wanted to tell you for a long time" he said

I knitted my eyebrows together

It was dark in the living room

But we saw each other

"What-"

"I want you Lexi"

I swallowed walking closer

I smelled alcohol, he was hammered

"Fuck off van" i said walking towards the door

"I know I'm wasted and i know we haven't talked in ages but i want you to myself and i will feel and think about that the same when i wake up" he said walking towards me

I looked at the ground

"Please come back when your sober"

"I don't have time"

"It's always that isn't it?"

"Believe me"

I took a deep sigh,

"I love you" he whispered walking towards me

We were centimeters apart

I shook my head with a tear falling down my cheek "don't be scared, love is crazy we all know but i promise you I'll treat you right i know i fucking love you and that's all that matters" he whispered

I swallowed closing my eyes

He leaned in, i leaned in

"Love me" he whispered

"I love you" I whispered

And in that moment, his lips were on mine with my hands in his hair and i never felt so good.

"Jump." He whispered i jumped on his hips as we walked towards my bedroom

He lay me on my bed hovering me

"Promise me something" I whispered as he kissed my neck "of course." He whispered looking into my eyes

"Promise me you will feel the same in the morning"

"I promise, love" he said

I nodded putting my trousers off

- van's pov

I woke up the next morning in lexi's bed

I turned around seeing that she wasn't there

I knitted my eyebrows together

I can remember what i said last night

I wasn't that drunk and besides i wanted to visit her that day before i was drunk.

I got up and walked in the kitchen seeing a note

Van,

I'm at work I'll be back at 5pm x

- Lexi

I sighed grabbing the note

I couldn't be happier that i was at lexi's

But then i remembered i had a show in Sheffield the next day.

I made some tea and sat on the couch smoking a fag until i heard the doorbell

I opened the door seeing a guy around my age

"Uh?, is Lexi home?" He asked clearly confused

"No, she's at work why?" I asked

He knitted his eyebrows together

"Who even are you?" The guy said

"I'm van McCann her boyfriend nice meeting you" I said in a sarcastic way offering my hand

"She didn't told me about a boyfriend"

I chuckled

"I'll tell her you came yeah?" I asked

"I'll call her" he said walking away

I closed the door sitting on the couch again

I grabbed my phone and messaged her

- to Lexi

There was this guy knocking on the door around my age asking if you were home xx

I looked outside and got a message back

- from Lexi

Right, that's Steve I'll call you soon x

2 hours later

"Open up!" I heard a female voice say

I opened the door seeing it was Becky

She walked in and sat on the couch

"Wait" she whispered looking at me

"mate what are you doing here?"

I sat down on the couch

"I called her last night and we kinda made up-" I started "don't tell me the details, you guys good?" She asked me i nodded "I hope so"

She nodded with a weak smile "she changed though" she whispered "in what way?" I asked

She sighed "she is a total different person, she doesn't smoke, she has a proper job, her style changed and she doesn't go out much anymore and much more" she whispered sighing

I looked at her "why?" I asked

"I don't know, she told me she just matured" becky said lighting a cigarette

"She isn't the Lexi i know since kindergarten"

"Hello" Lexi said as i opened the door for her

I smiled at her "come in" I whispered

She walked in putting her coat off

"Becky was here" I said she looked at me

"Oh what did she say?" She asked walking into the kitchen "nothing much" i lied sitting in the kitchen with her she stood still looking at me

"Your a terrible lair"

I lighted a cigarette

"She told me you changed, lots"

Lexi sighed and rolled her eyes

"What?" I asked

She made some tea and sat down handing me a cup "she's always like this, dramatic" she whispered "what you mean?" I asked

"I'm not a different person van, I'm still me, I just quit smoking cause it's the best and I'm not going out lots cause it makes me regret it in the morning plus i have a serious job now, I'm just getting older, I'm twenty now and i have to do something with my life" she said looking in my eyes "yeah you definitely right" i said nodding she smiled weakly with tired eyes at me "and uh, what i said last night" I said scratching the back of my head

"Yes?"

"I Meant it, every word"

She closed her eyes for a second

"I know van, i know" she whispered

"Your always so taken back when stuff like this happens like, why?" I asked her

She sighed "I don't have a amazing past" she said standing up putting her empty cup in the sink "sorry love, I didn't know"

She shook her head "it's alright" she whispered

I nodded "Lexi?" I asked

"Yes van?" She whispered looking at me

"Do you love me?"

"Yes but i don't think we can go further with this"

I knitted my eyebrows together

"Why?" I asked confused

"It will never work out exactly how your thinking" she whispered walking into the living room i stood up and followed her

"Of course it will, we can try at least" I said

She chuckled shaking her head

"What's so funny Lexi?" I asked

"I don't want you to hurt me"

I shook my head

"I will not hurt you-"

"Van, we are going to hurt each other" she whispered "I don't fucking mind"

She sighed looking at me

"But I do"

We sat on her balcony

I lighted a fag

"I would even stop smoking cause i know you hate the taste of it if it means that we get through" i said looking at her

"Then do"

I looked at her with a lazy grin on my lips

I leaned in and kissed her

She soon ended up on my lap and made out with me "I love you Lexi" I whispered in her ear pulling away "I love you" she whispered looking into my eyes

I stood up picking her up and walked her to her room "I have fucking work in the morning till six and you'll leave in the evening i hate life" she sighed laying on her bed

I hovered her "don't think about that, love it'll work out, we'll work out"

-

-

Thanks for reading!

Love yous! X