I stayed with the boys for the rest of the week, staying closer to Josh, Sam, and Daniel with the fear that if I was near Jake for too long I would become sad. I stayed closer to Josh than the rest. He would sneak into Ronnie's room every couple of nights and we would lay on the bed in silence, but it wasn't awkward, it was a good silence. He knew how to calm down without talking and for that I would be eternally grateful. It wasn't just that he was sort of like my protector, but I found myself realizing things about him I hadn't before. When he laughs he kind of scrunches up his nose and shakes his head. He read to me one night, pulling out the little book. It was Walden and he knew I loved Thoreau, I knew he loved him too. "Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influence of the world."

Finally, I returned home much to my dismay. My mother gave me a big hug saying how much she missed me, my brother apologized profusely, and my father.. well.. my father sat in the den reading through old books. Dinner time came and he stayed that way. "So honey, how was the week? Did you make sure you told Karen thank you from us? Oh what a saint she is."

"Yeah she knows. And as for the week, it was... average."

"Anything interesting in school?"

"Not really, my art classes have been going well, but the rest are just kind of ehh." I could only ever say that to my mom. If my dad had heard, he would have put me in extra AP classes. You weren't even allowed to be in APs when you were a sophomore, but somehow he convinced the school board I was smart enough.

The weeks went by like this. Simple, pretty boring, but hope for the future was brewing inside of me. Josh, Jake, Kenz, and Hannah graduated at the end of the year and it was all nice, but I just wanted to go with them, wherever they were going.

"You okay Mags?" Ronnie said to me, finally in her senior year, while me only in my junior.

"Yeah, a little sad everyone's leaving, but yeah." I thought about Jake, who was going off to some community college and I thought even more about Josh, who was going to try and make more films. Even with them around, it felt like they were going to be gone.

"Okay, we need to do something about your attitude missy." She said, holding up Josh's old Altoid box.

"Where did you get that??" I asked, wonderment in my eyes. "Won't Josh be mad???"

"Hey. What Josh doesn't know won't hurt him." She laughed at she opened up the box, taking out the weed and rolling papers. I knew it was a bad idea, Josh would find out that his pot was missing or at least dented and he would get mad. "If he finds out, we'll just tell him that you were feeling sad. If he thinks you were the one who took it, he won't freak out." She was right, I had always hit a sweet spot with Josh, but the last thing I wanted was for him to freak out on me.

Soon, Ronnie had rolled up four, very messy, but very effective joints. We went out on the roof, watching her parents roll away in the car to yet another graduation party. The air was hot, but we didn't mind. We sparked it, smoking one, then another, then another. I'm not quite sure how we did it, but we did and I was now in space. "Do your teeth feel big, my teeth feel huuuge." I told her.

"Mags look at that star, isn't that the best star you've ever seen?" I giggled and soon we were both in fits of laughter.

"Ron, we should steal Josh's pot more often." She nodded her head, emphasizing every time it came down. We went inside after carefully placing the can back in Josh's room with the fourth joint in it and a note saying 'Sowwy, we love youuuuu!"

The kitchen of the Kiszka residence was the best thing I'd ever seen in my entire life. "UGGGH peanut butter, get in my belllllyyyy!!!" I yelled at the top of my lungs causing Ronnie to break into an even heavier laughter than the constant one we were already in. "Look, look," I stuck two pretzels in my mouth, "I'm a walrus!"

"Wait, wait," She pulled out the nutella, sticking one stick into the nutella and one in the peanut butter. Then she bit one of the sticks in half and stuck them between the two, "NOW THEY'RE A FAMILY!" She yelled, almost crying in laughter.

"Oh my god, you're eyes are so bloodshot!" I yelled at her, only knowing one tone.

"Yours are even more!" She yelled back. We had turned on music, Hold On by Wilson Phillips to be exact. We danced like absolute fools, but like best friends.

"I know there's pain... Why do you lock yourself up in these chains. No one can change your life except for you, don't ever let anyone step all over you! Just open your heart and your mind. Is it really fair to feel this way inside?" We both made crude hand movements the song, finally belting out the chorus, "HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE DAY!"

"You could sustain, or are you comfortable with the pain? You've got no one to blame for your unhappiness. No, baby, you got yourself into your own mess." I sang to her because she couldn't stop laughing. At this point Ronnie was rolling on the floor. Singing my heart out, I jumped realizing there was a group of people behind us. Turning around it was Josh and the rest of the guys and girls. I pulled him towards me so I could show off my dance moves. "Someday, somebody's gonna make you want to turn around and say goodbye. Until then, baby, are you going to let 'em hold you down and make your cry." I let the rest of the song play. Everyone was laughing at us, but we were laughing at them.

"You guys look so funny!" Ronnie cried out.

"We look funny? Look at you two!" Daniel said. I put a hand up saying talk to the hand.

"Hey! Don't ruin our fun." I laughed at myself and then looked at Josh. He was smiling at me, he made me feel beautiful even when I was in an old t shirt. "Got something to say Kiszka?" I said to him, moving closer.

"Nope!" He said popping his 'p'. "Just taking everything in." We stood there in silence, while Josh and I looked at each other. Everyone was quiet, no sure what was about to happen.

"What I want to know if what you two have been smoking." Kenz said breaking the silence. I looked to Ronnie, then to the floor, and finally to Josh, scratching the back of my neck.

"You didn't." He said, knowing what we had done with my look.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch Joshua. We wrote you a nice note and a joint." He shook his head at us, on the brink of laughter, but still angry.

"Joshyyy, I'll make it up to you. I promise! I was just feeling sad." I said, giving him the puppy dog eyes. "I promise, I promise, I promise." I said giving him a big hug.

"Yeah.. alright.. Whatever." He still didn't seem happy, but his mood was lifted a little bit.

"Yay, now that we got that out of the way, I'm not going to waste this high on sitting around and watching movies with you guys so let's do something. Now I say this lightly, but we are not and I repeat NOT playing spin the bottle you sickos. Half of you are siblings anyway, so how about truth or dare?" I looked at them and they rolled their eyes collectively. "Come on it will be so fun."

"One second." Sammy said running up to him room. He came down with a bong and I stared at him in disbelief.

"Where the fuck did you get that??" I asked, completely bewildered.

"Detroit, when we played that show."

"Ahh yes, the old we're in a band thing. Well, I'm in a band too and it's called the Bud Wisers. If you're wondering, yes we did name it after beer and yes I am really cool." I said, spouting nonsense. "If you're wondering the band is a group consisting of me, Ronnie, and Bubba. I play the spoons, Ronnie sings, and Bubba slaps the bass." They all laughed at me, but I was convinced on selling them. They started hitting the bong and I sat on the floor in my favorite yoga pose, children's pose, the only one Josh had been able to teach me.

"Mags, get up now." Jake said, touching my back. I squirmed away from his touched and walked over to the family room area without saying anything.

"Alright, I think we all know the rules. Let's play." Kenz said, her eyes now equally as red as mine.

"I'm going first you fuckers." Ronnie said. "Now, now, now.. Daniel, truth or dare?" Jake came back to the family room with a tray of beers, one for each of us and we continued.

"Truth." He said not questioning anything

"BOOORING!" Ronnie yelled. "Okay, anyway, have you and Kenz done the dirty yet?"

"Come on Veronica, I'm not answering that." He looked at Kenz.

"Don't be annoying, Daniel." Ronnie said.

"I won't. I can't."

"Alright well jokes on you, we all know you've had sex.." She responded. Kenz was as red as a tomato. "Denial is the first step to the truth. I guess it's your turn." Ronnie was a little annoyed he didn't answer, but the game continued. Soon it was back to Ronnie. "Okay, Mags, truth or dare?"

"Dare." I stated blankly, not really knowing why I had said it.

"I dare you to run down the street in the nude."

"Piece. Of. Cake." I said walking towards the door. "Are you guys coming or not?" They all stood up running out the door after me. I took off my clothes, not really caring who saw me and it seemed like no one really cared anyway. It was just a dare. I sprinted down the street, the warm air surround my body in the dark, until I saw a car coming. "Oh fuck, oh fuck!" I yelled running back to the driveway. The car was getting closer and the music was getting louder. I could see Hannah holding out a blanket for me to run into and as soon as I did we started walking back to the house.

"Hey, where are you going?" A guy in the truck yelled with a slur. "Come back baby!" I turned around to see who it was.

"Mags, don't." Mackenzi said as I turned to walk over.

"Maggie??" Someone in the car said. Soon the face of Thomas was shown in the passenger seat. It was the whole ex-lacrosse team. I searched to see if my brother was in the car and luckily he wasn't

"Hey guys." I waved to them awkwardly, sticking a hand out of the blanket.

"Wait Jamie's sister.. Woah, your hot!" Spencer, a guy I'd known my whole life, said.

"Are you guys alright? Like driving wise?" I asked knowing they had been drinking.

"Oh yeah, Kyle is our designated driver, so we're all good." Thomas said. "Well, I hope to see you around more, maybe like this." He smiled at me and they drove off. I felt like I had ick all over me, my skin was crawling.

I walked back over to the group and we went inside so I could change, then we went back to the family room. "What was that all about?" Josh asked.

"Nothing, I just wanted to make sure someone was sober so they could drive. Now let me hit that bong, I just lost my entire high." I hit it a few times and was back to where I started. The beer affecting me as well. "Okay, so... I can't think of a good one guys, I'm sorry." My head was spinning a bit.

"Okay then I'll ask." Hannah said giving me a wide grin. "Josh, truth or dare?"

"Dare, what else?" I shoved him for being so cocky.

"I dare you to kiss Mags and not just a little one, I mean really kiss her." 'Old news' I thought it my head. Josh started to moves closer to me, even though we were pretty close to begin with.

He held my face, blocking his mouth from everyone and whispered, "You okay with this?" So no one could hear. I nodded. His breath was on my lips and soon it was replaced by his lips. We had kissed a few times after that morning in the beginning of the year, but this was different. It was hot and passionate. It felt so good. I let his tongue slip in my mouth and I played against it with mine. I tilted back a little so his head could be over mine. His hands were on my hips, my hands played with his hair and pulled at his neck. I let out a little giggle in the kiss as he got closer to my underarms, my tickling kryptonite.

A light cough came from someone in the circle and we were pulled out of our little world. "Well I guess that's not the first time you've done that." Kenzi said, smiling at me. My eyes wandered through the group as I sat up, everyone was smiling, except Jake. He looked cold and upset.

"I'm just going to um... uh... I'm gonna freshen up." I said standing from the circle and running up the stairs to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror. My cheeks were bright red and my lips were stained from kissing. Then there was a knock on the door. I moved to open it and saw Jake resting his arm against the doorframe.

"Hey.." He said.

"Hi."

"Can we talk?"

"Sure, it's your house."

"Well, I just didn't know that you and Josh had been, I don't know..."

"We haven't really. We're just really good friends, who love each other." I lied partially.

"Is he better?"

I scoffed. "At what? Kissing? Because that's the only thing I've done with the both of you. And you know I'm not going to answer that question."

"Well, I graduated.." He said sitting on the edge of the tub next to me.

"Yeah, I know that Jake."

"I was just thinking about what we talked about at the beginning of the year an-" I cut him off quickly.

"Jake, you're still with Hannah, so it's not going to happen. I told you that it wasn't going to happen if you two were still together." He looked a little surprised.

"You were the one who said to stay with her. You were the one who said 'Hannah's beautiful and funny'."

"It doesn't change things Jake, you didn't do anything to change things." I sighed and smiled at him. "I haven't been very happy this year and I just want the next two years to go by without stress."

"So you're just going to trade one brother for another. Is that how things are going to be now? Next is it gonna be Sammy? Huh? God, Maggie don't you see how messed up this is?" I looked at him, anger pulsing through my veins.

"You want me to stay away? Fine, I'll stay away. Consider yourself left." I said standing up and walking downstairs. I moved to the door and said nothing. I heard a bunch of yells after me.

"Mags what's wrong?"

"Where are you going?"

"What happened?" Then I heard one last shout, it was Josh. He had opened the door to walk out.

"Come back Maggie!" I just started running, down the street in the dark. Soon I couldn't see the house anymore, I sat down on the road, crying and crying and crying.