It was only a few more minutes until we would have to leave in order to arrive at the hospital in time.

Charlie had been in a splendid mood all day. He had kept talking and jumping around and a concierge had helped Mrs Black to take some of Damien’s and Graham’s old toys upstairs. They had all been packed in large boxes in a private storing room in the basement and now the toys were spread in the entire apartment.

I had almost slipped on a toy car when walking back to my room to get my phone and I had only narrowly dodged a ball that Charlie had kicked.

My first instinct had been to yell at him -not just because of myself but more because of the antique pieces of furniture that all looked like they were worth a fortune- but when I realized that it didn’t seem to bother neither Clary nor Mrs Black, who both seemed rather amused and entranced I changed my mind.

Also, it was hard to be mad at him when he looked so happy.

But I wished that I could have said the same about me. Usually seeing Charlie laugh was enough to make me happy as well but no matter what hospitals looked like, they were still hospitals and I would have been glad to never have to step inside one again.

Part of my nervousness resulted also from the fact that I would see Damien again, which was why I was so thankful that Clary and Mrs Black would be joining us as well. Mr Black wouldn’t be able to come, as he had more meetings to attend, which made me think that being the owner of a multi-billion-dollar corporation maybe wasn’t so great after all.

In the early afternoon we left to go to the hospital. Mrs Black pressed the elevator button and the doors slid open silently while Charlie grabbed my hand. In his other one he held his teddy bear.

“Are you ready to go?”, I asked him, and he nodded, excited that we would meet his father soon.. He had asked about him about 5 times already.

And that made this even harder for me.

It would not be fair if he had to suffer from Damien’s and my disagreements. I didn’t want to be the one who had to explain to him he that he would never be able to spend time with both of his parents because Damien wanted me as far away from here as possible. I grabbed Charlie’s hand tighter and we stepped inside the elevator.

We were already late because it had taken me so long to put my sneakers on. Breathing might have been easier but bending down to tie my shoes was still torture. I really regretted only taking this pair of shoes with me.

A driver, a friendly looking man in his early 50s, had dropped us off at the hospital and as soon as we got out of the car a tall, skinny woman in a business suit came our direction. Her smile was wide and feigned and revealed her pearly teeth, while her heels were clicking on the sidewalk. I immediately disliked her.

“Mrs Black, how nice to meet you.”, she said her smile got even brighter, which I didn’t even think possible.

She had reached us and was now looking at Charlie who was still holding my hand.

“And you, young man, must be Charlie. We are very happy to have you here.”

Charlie didn’t say anything and when he didn’t answer she turned to Mrs Black and cleared her throat.

“My name is Helena Paxton; I am a member of the board and will make sure Charlie will get everything he needs. If you have any concerns or wishes please feel free to contact me.”

Mrs Black raised an eyebrow.

“I assume this is standard procedure. I mean, of course you make sure that every other patient here gets the same treatment as we do, right? Surely we wouldn’t get preferred over other patients so we might be more willing to donate money?”

I almost laughed when I saw the shocked expression on the woman’s face but Clary next to me couldn’t hide her amusement as well, because she giggled, even though trying to cover her mouth with her hand.

My gaze went back to Helena Paxton and she nodded a little perplex.

“Of course, we guarantee every patient here the best treatment we can possibly give them. The New York Presbyterian Children’s hospital is known for its excellency and high professionalism.”, she smiled, even though it wasn’t as bright as before.

Mrs Black smiled back at her.

“Very well. Is my son here already?”

The woman nodded again, still seeming flustered, but then she caught herself and brushed a strand of her platinum hair behind her ear.

“Yes, Mr Black is already waiting upstairs talking to Charlie’s doctor.”

We followed her through the brand-new entrance hall. Everything was a lot more high-tech and modern than at the hospital in Pittsburgh and everything was bigger.

And this was just the Children’s hospital.

While we made our way to one of the elevators, she talked about the hospital itself and when it was founded but I didn’t really listen because I was constantly thinking about Damien.

Nervously biting my lip, I followed the others out of the elevator.

What was I going to say to him? Should I just ignore him? Or should I tell him that my life was none of his business and that he couldn’t stop me from hanging out with Clary?

Clary tapped me on the shoulder, and I looked up.

“What’s wrong?”, she asked, and I shrugged.

“Nothing, I am just nervous. You know, new hospital, new doctors, new everything.”, I lied. Clary didn’t seem convinced, but she nodded and then grinned.

“You’ll see. Everything is going to be just fine and if everything goes well Charlie’s treatment will be over in 2 months, or less. Don’t worry.”, she tried to cheer me up and I nodded, and my worries faded a little.

She was right. This wasn’t about me or Damien.

This was about Charlie.

For him to get better was the only thing that mattered.

“Are you coming, mommy?”, Charlie asked, and I hadn’t even noticed Clary and I had stopped walking.

I nodded and Clary and I followed the others through two more corridors, before we reached a consulting room with large windows.

A younger doctor sat at his desk and looked up when we came in, while Damien was casually leaning against the windowsill, his arms crossed, looking gorgeous as always.

I forced myself to look away.

The doctor smiled and got up.

“Hi, my name is Doctor Harrison. I am only filling in today, but I am sure we will get along.”

He shook all of our hands and when he saw the light blue shade of the bruise on my face, he seemed a little bewildered but didn’t say anything and just continued to explain the procedure to everybody, but I already knew everything he told me.

This was Charlie’s second last cycle of chemotherapy and after that would hopefully only follow his last surgery.

And then he would get better soon. He was so full of energy and joy but sometimes his body couldn’t handle the stress as well as his mind could.

I looked at Charlie who was on Damien’s arm, whispering something in his ear. Both laughed and I felt my heart aching. Damien looked in my direction and I quickly turned away.

He didn’t need to know how much he was hurting me.

There was about an hour left when I checked my phone.

Clary and I had been talking in the one half of the room for most of the time while Damien and Mrs Black were sitting with Charlie.

Mrs Black was reading a book to Charlie, and a funny one as well it seemed, because Charlie kept giggling.

“What is that?”, Clary suddenly asked, and I looked at her in confusion, before following her gaze towards my wrist.

The sweater had slid up and the bruise was now visible.

Quickly I tried to cover it up with my free hand, but Clary snapped my hand away and grabbed my arm.

“What happened?”, she asked worried while I tried to pull back, but she held on. “Nothing. It is probably still from last week.”, I tried to convince her, but she shook her head.

“Don’t lie to me, Ally. I know It wasn’t there yesterday. Tell me what happened, or I will tell everyone.”

I bit my lip and then sighed.

“Fine.”, I mumbled and finally she let my arm go.

Quickly I pulled the sleeve back down. Clary looked at me, worried, but also curious.

“It was Talia, or at least a girl with brown hair and green eyes who happened to have access to your apartment.”, I joked, and Clary’s face expression turned dark which I took as a confirmation, so I continued.

“She was at the apartment while you were at the playground with Charlie. It is really not as bad as it looks. It was a just a little misunderstanding. She didn’t even know who I was. She thought I was the housekeeper.”, I explained, and Clary frowned.

“I will so kill that stupid-” I rammed my elbow into her side to stop her.

“What?”, she asked loudly, and my eyes widened when I saw Damien looking into our direction.

“Promise me that you won’t say anything to anybody. I don’t want anybody to get into trouble because of me.”, I begged but the true reason was that I feared Damien would hate me even more.

He would probably find a way to make this seem like it was my fault.

“What? No, I will not do that!”

“Please?”

“No way.”

“Please, Clary. I promise if it will happen again, you can hit her as hard as you like. Just- Please.”

I didn’t even know why exactly I didn’t want anyone to know. Maybe I was also sick of being the victim. I wanted to be able to take care of myself, and I wanted to be a good mother for Charlie. I wanted to be someone he could look up to one day.

Clary looked uncertain but then she sighed.

“Fine. But if she ever even looks at you the wrong way again, I will kick her ass.”